Damaged and Repaired
by Missthirdward
Summary: "I am happy." The lie was out of her mouth before she had come to terms with the fact that Peter knew her more than anyone else at this point in their lifetime. Two years ago she would have said differently but that was then and this was now." -Worst summary. WILLICIA Alternative universe and some OC characters, 5x15 does not happen. Set Four years after season 5
1. The beginning

A/N: New story! I don't know what I've gotten myself into.. Thanks to the wonderful latenightmom for encouraging me to write this with her fantastic ideas, and thanks to my main girl Andrea for going over this ridiculously long chapter when I didn't have the time to. I don't own the rights to this show but everyone knows that already. Enjoy and please review!

* * *

The crowd in the foreground was enormous. Cheers of celebration, constant yelling coming from people in the mob, smiles that were stretched wide, Peter must be doing something right because she suddenly was beginning to feel as if it were real.

It was their first visit in Chicago since the election two years ago. They were voted the power couple back then, and were still regarded as 'hope' for America. Something that always sounded so foreign to her ears.

She took Peters hand rather for her own emotional support than anything else, and squeezed it tight. It was no secret that she was nervous in visiting Chicago again, but the timetable was lacking, and the tabloids were beginning to notice the first lady of United States lack of interest for her hometown.

Lights began to flash as they neared a few cameras, Peter paused to talk to a few reporters. She smiled and spoke her excitement on being home, even though that wasn't entirely true.

A little girl with a red balloon was in her peripheral vision. She was crying as she stood alone, Alicia's stomach ached for her to be held, deep down she was aware that it wasn't protocol for her to move anywhere else, her security squad will kill her before anyone else tried and yet, she moved anyway.

Peters hand slowly fell from hers as she walked towards the little girl's direction, when she reached the location, she heard noise and suddenly her two bodyguards were behind her. She ignored them.

The face was unavoidable in its unexpected recognition. Maybe that was what provoked her to move in the first place. She had seen this face before, but couldn't quiet place the scene in her mind.

Kneeling down, she smiled softly and hesitated at moving her hand, afraid of the little girl's reaction, after several seconds, she stretched a hand out and wiped the single tear off her rosy cheek.

"Hey there sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I cant find my mommy" was her response as she surveyed Alicia with hesitancy.

"Really?" Alicia pouted "Maybe I can help you with that? Is it okay if I take your hand?"

"Mamm." She heard her bodyguard whisper behind her. She placed a hand up, silently pushing him away before returning her soft smile.

The little girl nodded as she slipped her small palm into Alicia's. "What's your name?"

"Lilly."

"Lilly." She grinned. "Lilly Is a beautiful name. My Grandmothers name was lilly."

"Really?" she stared up at her with beautiful long dark lashes

"Yea." It was so unbelievably obvious in her mind that this girl had a striking resemblance to something that she had seen years ago. Standing up with her hand stroking soft patterns against sensitive skin. She searched for the man who had total control, yelling his name before he showed up out of thin air.

"Ahh. Eli there you are. This little girl has lost her mommy and we need your help."

"Alicia this is no time to be playing mommy…" he murmured in her ear. "I'm serious. We promised the union that we would only stop for ten minutes. We're already on a tight schedule. Just leave the girl with Steve."

"Eli we have plenty of time." She gave him a glare that lasted no longer for a second but he saw it. "This. Little. Girl. Has. lost. Her. Mommy." She repeated in monotone

Over the last two years she had grown to accept control, control over a person, people, country, and city. She had an enormous amount of power when it came to being first lady of USA, she often used it to her best quality but nonetheless knew that she had to be brought down from her high and reminded of the little things that mattered the most in her life. Sometimes, having control over Eli Gold proved to be difficult as well, but really, who could refuse an innocent little girl?

"Oh my god! There you are, Lilly where the hell did you get to?" The woman with long brunette and straight hair ran in their direction. Once noticing Alicia's presence she stopped with eyes that shot up in shock.

"Mommy!" the little girl jumped in her arms, relieved to be in her mother's eyes while reluctantly falling free of Alicia's hand.

Alicia had to pull herself together once realizing that her gaze was settled on the woman a bit too long as she tried to distinguish her face with familiarity.

"I'm sorry mam, she just wondered off.."

"That's fine." Alicia stared at her face for a bit longer than necessary, her eyes and skin, her hair and voice. She tried to place her face in the gap between her mind.

She felt Eli tug her arm and pulled her out her trance. "Your daughter is absolutely beautiful. Take care." With that she turned and followed Eli to the car. She waved at a few on the way out, Steve, her number one body guard led her into the car and she slid in next to Peter. The breeze hit her at last as the door closed and she sighed for the first time.

"Who was that?" she heard Peter say.

Her gaze rested outside the tinted window. "There was a little girl, she looked lost. She was so cute, it reminded me of Grace when she was that age. Remember when she was little?"

"Yea" he laughed. "I remember everything."

"This particular girl had big brown eyes and I thought I had recognized her from somewhere but now I cant remember."

"Alicia.." he sighed. "I'm sorry ok?" she didn't answer

"I know you didn't want to come back here, but honey we have to at some point."

"I know we have to!" she snapped. "It doesn't mean I _want_ to."

"So I was right? This is about him." The lack of context was just fitting seeing as two of their main s sat in the front seat. Two of whom Alicia and Peter came to respect with great dignity.

"I don't wanna talk about him." She made it clear, fury raging through her veins at the thought of Will in proximity. She considered her little fall several minutes ago, trying to distinguish him through the crowd, it was nothing but her own nerves getting the better of her.

"I don't either.. but he's been in this marriage ever since I can remember.."

"Peter just stop please.." she felt the tears rush to her eyes when her voice broke.

"I'm sorry.." he apologized immediately. Knowingly but silently acknowledging their history over the matter from the beginning of the night of his election that had Will tear her life apart and afterwards where Peter had to deal with the months that followed her depression. To this day she couldn't believe her husband had put up with her, he could easily have left her, but chose to stay. She loved and despised him at the same time.

She felt his hand cover hers delicately. "I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy." The lie was out of her mouth before she had come to terms with the fact that Peter knew her more than anyone else at this point in their lifetime. Two years ago she would have said differently but that was then and this was now. It was a situation that had always been inevitable, they lived together and worked together, and at the end of the day he would always be the one to pick her up off the ground when she couldn't.

"Yea?" he murmured. "I'm not."

* * *

"Hey mom… I just called to find out how you're doing." Alicia whispered, playing with the small lint that had caught onto her dress. "We're about to head to the Chicago law dinner. Peter is so excited to be home. I'm not.." she laughed. "Anyway I just wanted you to know…. that whatever happens. I love you."

She ended her voicemail and dropped the phone in her wallet. Looking at herself in the mirror, she sighed, but not quite knowing what for. Her dress was red and beautiful in all ways that should have had her smiling. She had lost a lot of weight after Peter won the presidential election, but gained it all back thus led to her sexy curves and strong skin tone. Yes, she had formed some wrinkles in the process, but the professionals she was assigned to work with introduced her into a whole room of skin care products that she could call her own. She never once thought that anti-aging creams would do the job, but her face that was constantly in a glow said otherwise.

She had changed her hair up a bit more than a year ago. Toned it into an even more darker shade of black, and grown it several inches longer. Her mother had pin-pointed one afternoon that her long thick black hair was more important to the tabloids than what was happening over in Syria or East Asia. Alicia had tried with utmost strength to stop herself from screaming at Veronica.

"Mrs Florrick" she heard Steve's voice from behind the door. "We have to go now mam."

The hotel was at the most a five minute walk from the mansion where the dinner was held, she hadn't participated in a casual stroll around the city for more than two years. Wherever she went she was being watched, the only place where she could be alone was in her bathroom, and even then, it wasn't enough to be her safe haven.

She opened the door to find his face that held worried features. "Oh Mr Shaw, when are you ever going to start calling me by my first name."

"Not protocol mam."

"Yea yea whatever." She grinned when he laughed. Taking her time with her earrings, she heard him fidget and rolled her eyes.

"Give me a break will you? We're fifteen minutes early."

"Mr Gold instructed with firm orders that I had to get you down there half an hour before departing."

"Mr Gold doesn't know shit, you know you don't have to listen to him Steve."

"He gets very… scary when he's mad."

"Steve, you're twice his size. You could probably pick him up and throw him in the Michigan Lake."

"Is that code word for something Mrs Florrick?"

"For a guy who sacrifices his life every day to keep mine in order, you can be pretty gullible sometimes."

"Just doing my job Mrs Florrick." She laughed loudly.

Closing the door, she made her way down to the lobby, meeting the other half of their security squad along with Eli who sat with a very unhappy face. Before he could say anything, she placed her hand up in his face and shook her head.

"Don't. I know. We talked about this Eli. You may be Peters chief of staff but you aren't mine. I will take my time and you will be patient." She noted from her side vision a few of her men smile under their tight lips.

"Well good evening to you too Alicia. I was just about to say how beautiful you look."

Closing her eyes, she smiled uncomfortably. "I'm sorry Eli. I'm not in the best mood."

"It's okay." he said with cautious eyes. "You sure you'll be ok tonight?"

"Yes. It's nothing I haven't done before."

He led her out into the waiting car and climbed in beside her. "Peters already there?"

"Yes. He did wait but you were in the shower and he had to be there early to greet some people.."

"Eli it's okay. You don't have to justify anything."

"What took you so long? I mean.. you were in the bathroom for a while.."

"I wasn't trying to kill myself if that's what you're worried about." She mumbled

She could sense his annoyance by the way he turned his head towards the location outside the window and ignored her for the remainder of their ride.

* * *

She stood by the door with her hand resting on the frame. Nobody could see her, but she could see everyone. Her table was in the front near the stage which meant all she had to do was walk straight across to where her husband sat.

She sighed for the last time that night and plastered a smile on her face as she made her way in.

The area wasn't as large as she had pictured it in her head, everyone dressed up to the nines and glamorous as ever. All eyes in the building scanned the first lady as she smiled and waved at people in the crowd, honorary guest that she recognised from her job.

She watched as Peter stood up to greet her, thus leading everyone around him to follow lead. His eyes scanned her body from head to the floor, surprise settled on his features. She tried not to take it from a personal side. She was aware from the way his shoulders relaxed that he was thinking about how she looked this morning on the plane with comparison to how she was now.

He smiled and kissed her hand before she allowed herself to great each individual around their table.

"Senator" she smiled as she walked up to him.

He bowed down with one hand behind his back. "Your majesty."

They both laughed as she pulled him in for a hug. "Its good to see you again Matthew."

"Like wise Alicia. You look well." he said, with a slight smile of concern that wasn't distorted on her part.

"Thank you." she tried to disguise the hidden frown behind her face as she made eye contact with Peter, knowingly aware that whatever went on between himself and his friend, she was beginning to think they were confiding each other's problems a bit too much. Alicia knew about the senate's wife cheating on him, though it wasn't public knowledge, she was beginning to wonder who else Peter was talking to.

She offered a hand to the wife and a kind smile followed by taking her seat. Throughout the whole night she felt violated of her privacy, though it wasn't anything foreign to her, it was all different. Everyone was either looking at her, or trying to divert their attention somewhere else when she knowingly noticed the inevitable. Leaning over to Peter, she whispered in his ear. "Why are so many people looking?"

His brows were pulled together as she pulled back to get a response. He looked around, followed some of their gazes and looked at the back of her dress. A smile went to his face followed by a blush. He lent back into her ear

"You are aware that your dress is strapless right?"

"Peter don't be ridiculous, the dress is not the reason."

"No." he agreed. "But your tattoo is." He chuckled as he watched her face go from porcelain to completely red.

"Fuck." She mumbled under her breath and for his ears only.

"Yea." He murmured.

Covering her face, she just wanted to dig herself under the carpet and never come out. "I didn't" she paused "I didn't realise it would show. I completely forgot about it."

"It's ok"

"The tabloids are going to have a field day." It wasn't even less than two months that she had gone out in an interview and spoke about how she didn't like that young people covered their bodies with ink.

"Give me your jacket." She instructed to which he frowned.

"Alicia.." he tensed. "Its beautiful. Nobody is going to judge you for having our children's names embodied onto your skin."

"Just give it to me" she mumbled under her breath.

"I cant."

"What?" she looked up at him

"I spilt coffee on my shirt on my way out of the car earlier."

"Are you serious?"

He laughed at her reaction. "Yes I am. Don't worry about the tattoo, you can't even see it."

She had gotten it a little over a month ago. Grace was getting her first, a butterfly on the nape of her neck, she had made Alicia cry because she told her father that it was for mom, a symbol of how truly beautiful and strong Alicia was.

The twenty year old had managed to drag Alicia out with her, and when Alicia saw the process, she simply knew what she wanted and where she wanted it. It was small, but signified the most important accomplishment in her life.

 _Zach95_

 _Grace97_

Printed on the back of her left shoulder, several inches away from her arm with the year of their birth dates beside each one. Very small but easily recognizable.

She was embarrassed for the remainder of the night but hid it well from any prying eyes. She danced with Peter and laughed with some other important woman who she couldn't quite remember the name of. Judy? Cindy? There were so many names that went through her ear and out the other these days that it was hard to remember who was who.

The hall was fairly empty when she decided she needed to use the toilet, her bodyguard begrudgingly allowed her to use the toilet on the floor. The rest room was empty of any modern terrorist, other than a woman in one of the stalls.

She moved into the stall next to her and sat on the toilet bowl. She had lied to her agent, she wasn't actually in need of using the toilet for convectional purposes, it all came down to the fact that she needed to escape the ballroom, and then she tried to escape her body men, but failed miserably.

She heard the woman outside the stall turn on the tap and decided to flush the basement before unlocking the door and setting herself free. The first thing she did was remove her rings as she began to wash her hands, something that Alicia had no choice in doing since the jewellery she wore for promotional purposes wasn't hers. Except for her wedding ring that still glowed in the dim light even when it no longer meant anything.

She could sense the other woman staring at her from her peripheral vision and suddenly felt uncomfortable. What was going on in her mind if she even considered the possible idea of others not noticing the first lady of United States in a free area?

She did a take in the mirror with a false smile towards the woman, and then she found herself having to look again.

Diane's hair was a bit brighter than the last time Alicia had seen it, maybe a tiny bit shorter as well, but she still looked as glamorous as when Alicia first met her.

Alicia found herself greeting the older woman's surprised but pleasant features. It had only been two years but god did it feel like decades. _What are you doing here?_ Alicia thought.

"Alicia." She said with enthusiasm, a smile gracing her lips. "hello"

"Diannee." She pronounced slowly, trying to grasp her head around what was going on. "Hi." She managed to get out

"It's been a while." Diane commented with confidence

Alicia smiled before chuckling. "It has."

"Two years."

Alicia smiled with gentleness. Something that she had grasped onto naturally from years of campaigns. She agreed. "It has.. been a very long time. You look great by the way." she received a laugh from the other woman and smiled. Memories rushing back from years of late night depositions and meetings regarding the inevitable of being a lawyer. How she missed being a lawyer.

"Like wise." Her response sounded sincere. "How are you?"

"Great" Alicia said, hastily putting her rings back on and drying her hands. "I mean.. you know"

"I do." Diane nodded in agreement. "I would be lying if I said that I haven't been keeping in touch with you and Peters lead. I knew there was a reason I became a democrat.. And I have to be honest with you Alicia.." Diane surveyed her with cautious eyes. Alicia felt so nervous under her gaze, she was still slightly intimidated by her intelligence and yet she didn't know why. "What you and Peter are doing… as a working couple, it's amazing and I may biased" she smiled. "But you're really doing a great job."

"That.." she stuttered. "I… thank you Diane but I am being totally honest. Peter is doing… everything. You know, the tabloids like to paint it as a job that both of us do, but the majority of the time I'm overseas. So please give all the credit to him."

"I knew you would say that." She laughed. "But you're doing a great job."

"I am?" she laughed, and quickly changed the subject. "And yourself? Judgeship it was, wasn't it?"

"Yes it was.." Diane chuckled. "I turned it down."

Alicia flipped her head back in her direction. "What?"

"It was just something I wasn't interested in doing anymore. And I plan on retiring anyway." She shrugged.

"What are you doing here exactly?" Alicia then asked, "I mean, I thought it was judges that were only on the invitation list when it came to people in the courthouse."

"Yess it was." For some reason Diane's words sounded cautious as she continued.

"But Lockhart Agos and Gardner were pitched in the top five firms that represented more probono cases more than anybody else.. It's one of those idiotic terms that don't necessarily benefit the people who run this thing. No offence."

Alicia laughed. "None taken. So you're here.. on your own.. representing the firm?"

"No.. I'm here with the partners."

For a split second Alicia considered the possible idea that she was so close to screaming at the top of her lungs she could almost sense the need of wanting to crumble and fall apart.

 _Don't say it._ Alicia thought when she watched Diane continue almost in slow motion. _Don't say his name._

."Cary was fairly excited to attend.. _Will_ was a different story."

She was very proud of herself when she managed to stay as calm and less heated than her heart was revealing. She could almost hear it break from the painful memories of her poor love life and the man who had destroyed it more than two years ago. She had come so far since then, _so so_ far. She didn't need to go back.

Before she could formulate a response. The door was opening with excessive force. Diane received a natural fright at grasping the fact that a six foot man had just entered the ladies bathroom.

Alicia sighed when Steve stared at her with disapproving brows. She sighed deeply "Give me a minute." With one glance towards Diane, he nodded and led himself out.

"It was very nice seeing you again Diane. I hope we will see each other more often."

"Yes.. like wise" for a second Alicia thought Diane didn't know what to call her when the older woman said. "Alicia."

With one last sincere smile, Alicia led herself out.

She entered the ballroom trying to hide her anger when she slowly sat down and took slow deep breaths. Peter was talking on stage, she tried to pay attention but her ears were zoning out. It seemed as though Eli were the only individual who noticed her sudden change in demeanour when he leaned over and whispered "what's wrong?"

"Did you know he was here?"

"Who?"

Alicia looked at him with a gaze that was filled with so much irritation and exhaustion that it made his inner pupils fidget. "Tell me the truth Eli."

"No." he looked down. "I just found out, I didn't realize many law firms would be invited to this thing and then again… the last thing I ever assumed was that he would actually attend." He was right. Will had stayed as far away from her to the point of ignoring her calls after losing him, changing his number, disappearing off the radar for a couple of months, still a coward he had proved to be for so many years; she only knew from what her investigator had shared with her, it wasn't very helpful information. But it made her recognise just how pathetic she was during her months of repression.

She placed the palm of her hand on her forehead and closed her eyes. "I don't think I can do this anymore Eli.." she whispered. "I wanna go home."

 _Home_

That big square white house with selected area only for her to mark as a household would never be her home. It didn't feel like home in comparison to what Owens apartment felt like, or her mothers beach house in that case, but for now it was the closest she could associate with some sort of comfort.

"Ok" he said. "I'll have a ride ready for you in a couple of hours. I think Peter can last the next couple of days without you."

"You sure?"

"Yea" he smiled. "You owe me big time."

"I already owe you my life." She said smiling now, her entire mood changed.

With her attention only half focused into what the woman in front of her was saying, she stared into her blue eyes and smiled, she had a skill for listening to people with interest, but at the same time having ten thousand other things spinning around in her head. She made people feel special when she laughed genuinely at their jokes, talked to them on a scale of hours, something that she wished she could do more often overseas then in America. No matter how inappropriate it sounded.

She heard someone calling her name, she would have left it to her security team if it weren't for recognising the voice that held so much excitement. When she turned suddenly and met his smile as he walked towards her, Alicia's arms were wide open and she laughed when they stumbled into each other. He patted her back and squeezed her tight, she closed her eyes and for a moment, just a moment she imagined that it was four to five years ago and they had just started their firm.

"Cary! You're here!" her grin was so bright, she felt lifted when he pulled back and she met his features that seemed completely settled and mature. _Mature._ That was something definitely out of the ordinary.

"You're here!" he repeated, his gaze flowing over her form as if he had just encountered someone completely new.

"My god" it felt so awkward when he looked at her with genuine shock. It was also slightly amusing. "You haven't aged a day.."

"Don't you dare play that game Mr Agos."

"No. I'm serious. Alicia you look amazing." He said quietly

"I think it's all that fresh hot air I spend overseas.. Anyway, it's been so long. I can barely recognize you." then she leant in and whispered in his ear, returned the favour. "But I'm not gonna lie this time, you look old as.." the last words by muffled by some noise in the background

They both bursted into laughter, it caused some attention from others, looking around the room, she noticed the prying side of the room staring at her, she didn't want to stare for too long in that case of potentially finding him in amongst the crowd, so she turned her attention back to Cary and grabbed his elbow. Leading him into the nearest hall, they sat in one of the chairs.

"So? How have you been?" Cary asked, she sat there with her gaze on his face, regardless of her separation from the law; he had always been an individual that she could always rely on thus the reason she bursted into laughter.

They sat in the corner for fifteen minutes, her private agents guarding beside the door. She listened intently to Cary's stories, as Diane revealed earlier on, he had merged the business with Lockhart Gardner not long after she moved away. She told Cary it was a good investment, however unable to hide the disappointment in her features. Alicia had always hoped that when Grace graduated law school her first internship would be with Agos and associates. Now that she knew the truth, it was completely thrown out of the equation.

"I feel like I've been talking about myself." He said. "Come on Alicia, tell me what it's like being the first Lady of USA."

She paused, pondering her answer before saying. "it's.. hard." Grinning at his face, she continued. "Honestly, it's been one of the most amazing and difficult times of my life. You know me more than most people, I was never really built for this."

"Oh come on!" he was grinning like a child. "Alicia don't do that. You and the president are the most talked people in Chicago. I'm purely speaking from experience."

"The president?" she questioned with amused brows

"I mean.. Peter." he shook his head.

She laughed again and sighed, recognising just how much she valued his company, he wasn't like her other friends, he treated her the same way he did three years ago. He treated her as if she were still the same woman from before all of this took over.

Resting her head against his shoulder, she heard him sigh and smiled when he asked. "Do you miss the law?"

"More than I miss drinking alcohol in a public place."

She felt him laugh and then a chill went down her spine. She could sense another presence enter the room, pulling back from her former business partner, she felt her heart start in slow beats when Will walked in, his gaze met hers instantly and the line of his throat curved down into a swallow.

His eyes were uneasy when he spoke to her for the first time in two years. "Hi."


	2. The Damage

2 years prior. November 4th

 _She waited patiently in the silent apartment. In vain she had initially struggled with the idea of having to keep their relationship secret, Alicia and Will met once a week in Owens old apartment as they had done for the last year. Owen lived in Ohio, but still owned part of his lease in the building. The area situated a long distance from the city where citizens of Chicago did not recognize her for a change. When she wore her wig that was, and even though they weren't physically able to walk the streets and hold hands, she could always walk pass a lobby with the exception that no one recognised her. Something that she was extremely grateful of at this point in the campaign._

 _All the blinds in the apartment were closed, none had been opened for more than a year now, the place viewed onto a beautiful lake from below, a location that Alicia had spent many time pondering what it would be like to go for walks with Will down the small wharf and act as though they were a real couple, thoughts that she had only ever pondered to an extreme force when he slept in her arms and she wasn't able to close her eyes._

 _Participating in what could potentially be considered as the number one concealed affair of the century was harder than anticipated at first. She was lucky if they saw each other once a week, the press and Peter's opponent had gotten worse and worse over the months leading up to the election. Will and Alicia had to put extra rules to the gaps that came with their relationship, Eli was the one who begged her to be cautious of her whereabouts, to make sure that at all costs they wouldn't be seen together._

 _With the help of her brother and Kalinda, they had managed to escape for a couple of days and spend some time in a lake house owned by Will's family. Unfortunately that was a little over six months ago, everything up to then had taken it's course rather gradually inclined by the extreme pressure of the campaign. She could not wait for a time where she could hold her lover's hand and give him everything he deserved._

 _When she heard his footsteps approach the hall outside Owen's apartment floor, she jumped as she heard the fumbling of keys._

 _She couldn't wait any longer and ripped the door apart finding him stood opposite with a sly smile, pulling Will in, she closed the door and drew him into her lips. His entire body moulded into hers, the stress of his day washing off his shoulders when her hands slowly pushed his jacket off his back and allowed it to fall to the ground. She felt his lips force into hers, to a point where she knew they would come out with purple textured skin on the depths of their swollen mouths._

 _She acknowledged for the first time that her body was pressed against the wall and her arms were around him, his neck, his back, pulling him, and squeezing him with vast reluctance of having to let him go anytime soon. She loved him, she loved him so much it hurt, she loved him more than any significant other she had ever brought into her life; there was no one else for her, there was nobody else who could understand her, as artificial as it may sound. She loved him._

 _He pulled his lips only inches away from hers and sighed into her breath, smiling in the dark. "God I missed you." It had been a little more than two weeks since she had seen him, with the last weeks up until the election night, she and Peter were expected to travel with interviews that carried out in a pattern, appearances that became the norm, going over speeches, making sure that as a couple they said the right things and performed the correct persona in pulling their relationship off to a key. She didn't even have to pretend with Peter, she had noticed earlier on in the game, she loved him anyway, she just loved Will more as much as Peter loved the power of office. She could give him that, the office, she had told him earlier once distinguishing that they couldn't make it work, but what she couldn't give him was long term._

 _Playing with the silk thread of his short hair, circling his scalp, she smiled and pecked his lips. "I missed you too.." she closed her eyes. "So much.. I thought I was going to go insane with Eli and Peter on that plane."_

 _Peter had employed new advisers to the campaign, the democratic committee had also forced him to work with others who she didn't necessarily like but stood her ground for Peter's sake. Desperate times called for desperate measures._

 _And unfortunately, they were beginning to notice her absence on weekends, she could no longer use work as an excuse because she had left the firm two months ago, and she couldn't necessarily tell them that she was spending what little spear time she had with her lover._

* * *

 _Lying in bed with her head on his chest, listening to the steady and beautiful rhythm of his heart. Neither one could get to sleep, the excitement for tomorrow was playing on her mind, while she felt her lover shift uncomfortably, something going on in that head of his made her question what was going on with him inside._

 _"_ _How do you feel…" he prodded. "about tomorrow?"_

 _"_ _Excited" she wasn't going to lie. "Nervous. Scared. Happy."_

 _She led her finger to the hard texture of his rib, his body still of a twenty year old who couldn't age. So unfair –she thought. "It's gonna be huge." He added_

 _"_ _I know" she smiled. "I'm still trying to grasp my head around the fact that if we win, he'll be the leader of this country." Even though he couldn't see it, her eyes still blossomed with pride. "It's something we've wanted for so long and now it's finally happening." She was aware of her mistake seconds after she said it._

 _"_ _We?" Will's brows were creased up when she sat up to get a better look at his face._

 _"_ _I mean it's something he's wanted. And I want it for him. He's accepted our marriage to an end with respect, the least I could do is support him."_

 _"_ _You and Peter would make a great couple for that office." There was something in his voice when he said it, remorse? Joy? She leaned into his touch when he stroked her cheek and he pushed a couple of strands of her dark hair away from porcelain skin._

 _"_ _Well, that's too bad. Because after this is all over, I'll be with you." her smile was contagious as she kissed his lips, when he didn't respond she pulled her brows together in confusion._

 _"_ _Divorcing him is going to be the most difficult obstacle you'll ever have to go through Alicia."_

 _"_ _Peter and I have already talked about it.."_

 _"_ _It's not about what Peter will do, it's about what people with perceive of you. The press, the tabloids, they'll never let you go. Ever. You're gonna be the woman who left the president of United States right after the election."_

 _"_ _I don't care!"_

 _"_ _Well I do." He said softly. Stroking her hair, probably his way of trying to calm her down._

 _"_ _I don't want people to presume that you're some slut who moves from one man to the other or that you're evil and plan on destroying the leader of this country." Even though it wasn't necessarily funny, she found herself bursting into laughter and smiling at the ridiculousness of his words._

 _"_ _Nobody is going to think like that Will, you're being silly. We don't even know if he'll win yet."_

 _"_ _Alicia" he looked at her, "You and I both know that he's going to win. This whole dam city knows it."_

 _He smiled. "Trust me, there are people out there who jump to conclusions and will think the worst of you. I couldn't bear the thought of something happening to you, or that you end up resenting me for making you give it up."_

 _She was still smiling when she took his face in her hands and kissed him, sitting in his lap with both legs straddling him, she kissed the tip of his nose._

 _"_ _I don't know how many times we've talked about this but I don't wanna have to repeat myself. I wanna be with you. I don't want to… run a country, I don't wanna have to pretend to be somebody else, or smile and laugh in front of cameras. I want to kick your backside in court.." she noted his smile for the back of her mind. "I want to move in with you like you said and introduce you to Zach and Grace, and walk down the street and not have anyone stare at me. I want you to bring me lunch at work and make dinner for me at night. I remember you promising me forever Gardner, you are going to keep your word. Understand?"_

 _He nodded with a grin that didn't press to the corner of his lips but it was close "Yes mamm."_

* * *

 _She didn't quite understand what was going on, she and Eli were in the green room watching the polls with tension rising in her shoulders when suddenly people were smiling and cheering at the final results. Some of their faithful supporters were even crying, Eli was hugging some person behind her while she stood there with her jaw dropped to the ground and her eyes gobsmacked._

 _He did it._

 _He won. Not at one point during their time together over the last two years since he announced his candidacy did she ever underestimate her husband's resilient work ethic, his need to work hard while trying to be a good politician at the same time, impossible yes, but in this moment, she couldn't believe that they had done it._

 _The entire room seemed as if it were running in slow motion, her eyes consciously searched for Peter, it wasn't hard to distinguish him when he was making his way towards her with opened arms. She practically with good intention jumped into him, her breath hitched in shock. She laughed into his chest and dug her face into his shirt, hiding her face away from any prying eyes and cameras. She felt his head rest on her shoulder, he held her as if it were his last, and under all elements of control, she allowed herself to accept the accomplishment and loss they had both gained for the night. "Thank you." she heard him whisper in her ear._

 _"_ _I'll always be here for you." she said, the meaning behind her words couldn't be any less obvious, he was the only individual other than Will and Eli who knew that she had only made it this far to get him into office, the decision afterwards was fully hers to make._

 _She fixed her makeup and smoothed out his hair before they made their way out onto the stage. The large audience was overwhelming as they cheered. Her eyes landed on the front camera and all that entered her mind was that she hoped Will was watching._

 _The next day played out almost like a train, very fast paced and suffocating, Peter had several interviews and speeches to prepare for, he had been staring at her all morning with an odd expression. Receiving a phone call an hour ago from someone who he wouldn't name, however knowing from the deep voice she heard over the line that it was a man. Eli's eyes hadn't left her position on the couch either, she asked Marissa if her dress was too short, or if her eyes suggested her exhaustion, but the young adult just shook her head and commented on how she would kill someone to look like Alicia in this moment._

 _"_ _Mamm" one of the young campaign supervisors caught her attention. "The committee just called. They have a plane ready for you this afternoon and would like you to do an appearance in DC welcoming the white house as your new home."_

 _She looked over at Eli sitting in the corner. "No… uh… there's been a misunderstanding. My husband will be arranging that sometime tomorrow."_

 _"_ _Look, Alex, give us a moment." Eli interfered_

 _As he sat down, she looked at him with suspicious brows. "Will's been trying to get a hold of you." at the sound of his name, she tried to find her phone but was stopped. Eli gave her a note with Will's familiar handwriting and before she could ask any more questions he was gone._

* * *

 _The sound of Will's car pulled up into the parking garage, she had only driven it once, and afterwards lectured him on the engine, a vehicle that was basically a suicide attempt if you went a hundred k an hour. The price on it made her wince, especially when he told her that he brought it for her as a gift, however driving it more than she ever did._

 _The windows were tinted for the sake of disclosure, she jumped in and kissed his cheek. "About time I see you." she smiled. "I've been trying to get a hold of you all night."_

 _For a long time he didn't look at her but kept his gaze outside the car, "What's wrong?" she pulled back. Concern washing through her immediately like a wave_

 _"_ _Nothing." He lent in abruptly and kissed her lips before starting the car and driving off at the speed of lighting. She trusted him with her life so she wasn't necessarily scared, but she placed her seatbelt on for measure. If she was ever going to die anytime soon, she wanted to die with Will on all foundations that considered to be healthy in any aspect of normality._

 _"_ _Where are we going?"_

 _"_ _Somewhere." He said, taking her hand and holding it in his lap. She settled into her seat and allowed her gaze to fall on the buildings that passed with a blur. They passed a few people still celebrating from last night's win, American flags hanging on mailboxes and red and blue glitter sprayed across the streets. It felt foreign knowing that the cause of celebration was something she was a part of._

 _"_ _So you aren't going to talk to me?" she teased_

 _"_ _Not right now." He squeezed her hand, almost as if his life depended on it._

 _"_ _Ok" she rolled her eyes, he was just so stubborn sometimes, one would think that it made her love him less, but it was impossible because they were so similar._

 _When he started to slow down, she noticed their location and stared at him, confused. "Why are we at an airport?"_

 _He remained silent for a while, pulling her hand away from his, she pushed her bangs away from her face and sighed at his distant behaviour. Will pulled up at the security stop, handed them his Identification and without any sort of reluctance they let him in through the gate._

 _"_ _That's the campaign's jet." She finally noticed, when Will stopped the car and undid his seatbelt. Raising her brows in his direction she said. "Well? What are we doing here?"_

 _She watched as his eyes locked onto the steering wheel before he whispered words that she had been terrified of for the last 12 months. "I can't do this anymore."_

 _She breathed out through her nose, her eyes searched the ground trying to distinguish what he meant before she stared back at him. "You cant? What?"_

 _"_ _Us." His voice was so calm and controlled, it only caused more pain to her chest to think that he didn't care about what he was doing to her. "I thought I was ready to take on the burden but I cant…"_

 _"_ _You can't?" she stared right through him. "My god Will just say it!" she pushed him with her hand. "Stop being a coward and say it!"_

 _"_ _We're over." It hurt so much more when he admitted it. Early hours this morning she was the happiest woman on earth, she would never have guessed that more than twelve hours later everything would be destroyed._

 _"_ _I don't believe you." she said. "I cant believe that you can just say that and not have any emotion."_

 _"_ _Alicia, how long did you think that this would go on for?" he finally looked at her, irritation clear in his eyes. "It's not real. The reality of it all is unreal, you and I…. riding off into the sun set together? It was. Never. Going. To. happen. Not when your husband is the most powerful man in the world and you have the entire country stopping us."_

 _Her eyes suggested the pain within her, though the majority of it covered with anger. "Why the hell didn't you say anything about it earlier?"_

 _"_ _When?!" he threw his hands up in the air. "We never see each other. I was lucky to see you once a week at the most and all you talked about was the fricken campaign. How am I supposed to love someone who talks about herself all the time."_

 _"_ _You're making this shit up Will.. I can see right through you. Did Eli put you up to this? Did Peter pay you something? Did he ask you to do this?"_

 _She watched as Will sighed and shook his head, "Peter has nothing to do with this. This is my decision, this is something I want. I called him this morning and told him that this thing between us was never really long term. I spoke to Eli and made him have the jet ready for you to leave. Your bags are packed on board."_

 _"_ _I'm not getting on that plane!" she snapped. "You can go to hell! All of you! I'm not leaving Will, I know this isn't what you want. Look at me and tell me that you don't care about me."_

 _She waited for him to move, but all he did was stare at her as if she wasn't the woman who he vowed only a month ago that he would give everything up in order to have a life with her. "I care about you but.. I can't anymore," she caught him fidget but her eyes were too distracted by the water that pooled in her pupils. "It's not going to work, Alicia you and I both knew that this was… it couldn't continue. Look at me," he tried to grasp her attention but she ignored him. "I just want the best for you okay? You and Peter are going to do amazing things and I don't want to be in the middle of that. The whole country is depending on you two"_

 _"_ _Don't, DON'T! I swear if you mention anything about this fucking country again I will never forgive you, don't use that as an excuse Will. You're doing this for your own merit, your ruining us because you're a coward and that's what you do. When someone tries to do something for you out of dignity, you crush them because you're afraid. You don't even care about me enough to try and fight it off because you're that scared."_

 _She wiped the stray of tears away from her face and tried to breathe properly. She caught him reach out with pain as he tried to wipe more tears off her cheek but she pushed his hand away. "I just hope that one day you will finally understand that I wasn't leaving Peter for you, I was leaving him for myself.."_

 _"_ _Alicia you know I care about you, I just want the best for you.." he tried to reach out to her again but she pushed his hand, followed by his chest, hitting him hard._

 _"_ _Look what you're doing to me, I'm not this woman. I don't cry over men Will. You're the most important person In my life, please don't do this." She went from hating him to begging, she could see the struggle in his eyes when he pulled away and covered his face with his hand._

 _Everything became clear in that moment, when he didn't say anything but let his gaze rest outside as if he would rather be any place but here, she realised that this was the end. That all the hope and confidence that came with a life she had imagined outside of campaigns was all just fantasy._

 _"_ _Please Alicia, don't make this any harder than it already is." She looked at him, tried to find the man she knew for most of her life, and gathered that he wasn't there anymore. Taking a deep breath, her peripheral vision caught Eli walking towards their vehicle._

 _She looked back at Will with shock, he leant over and opened the door for her. "Alicia you have to go now."_

 _Wiping the stray tear away from her cheek, she shook her head and whispered. "I will never forgive you for this."_

 _When Eli touched her shoulder on the way to the plane, she pushed him away and snapped immediately. "Don't touch me!"_

 _/_

The journey to Washington at that point had been a blur followed by the months afterwards, she remembered allowing herself to cry on Eli's shoulder for the first hour of the flight, the pain of having to walk off that plane with a smile was more than difficult in any aspect. She would do anything to avoid reliving the harsh memories.

"Will" she tried to smile, but failed instantly when the contrast of his deep brown eyes stared at her, the tension in the room was as big as an elephant and she swallowed the large lump in her throat. "Hi."

* * *

I'm Sorry! I know, I'm an awful shipper. You can all bite my head off. I'm going to disappear now cause I'm buried under uni. Oh and thanks for the reviews and all that stuff, very appreciated :)


	3. The Overhaul

Surprise! I managed to get this out before exams. This chapter is a bit more civil than I expected. Enjoy and I hope you are all still with me xo

* * *

There was so much to say in such little time. _How are you? How are you feeling? how are the kids? Are you happy? Do you need anything? You look sad, you look happy, you look beautiful. I love you. I'll always love you._

Words that ran through his mind continuously as he stared down at her. Will Gardner, always exposed to inclination, thankfully not this time, the details of which having to relive the harsh memories of their unfortunate circumstances settling inside him once again.

She looked happy, when he first saw her enter the ballroom, the genuine smile that graced her lips told him that he had made the right decision two years ago, even though his selfish heart was telling him otherwise.

"I um…" Cary broke the awkward silence, glancing between the two adults who couldn't seem to tear their eyes away from one another. Awkward was an understatement when it came to Cary, he loved Alicia, and came to care for Will, but things were totally different now, "I need to go" Cary snapped her out of her trance. "but will keep in touch. How long are you in town for?"

Alicia took a glance at the diamond rolex on her wrist "A couple of hours" she laughed

"Really?" Cary said with a frown. "You're not staying?"

"No" she fidgeted with her wedding ring, avoiding Will's gaze. "I.. I have to get home."

"Okay." Cary said, she reached up and hugged him before pulling back. "It was really good to see you Cary."

"You too.." he looked from Will to Alicia. "Stay safe Alicia. We will catch up another time?" she nodded, he squeezed her elbow in acknowledgement and suddenly he was gone.

The silence between them was nothing short of awkward, finally he chose to clear the air and smiled at her with his hands in his pockets. "It's been a while."

"It has." she nodded in agreement, "everyone seems to remind me of it."

"Everyone?"

"I bumped into Diane earlier on. If I had known you were here I would never have come." He watched as she stood up, straightened her dress and posture, she stared at him as if he weren't the man she knew since law school. She was a totally different person now and it took him off guard, the way she carried herself, the way she spoke, her smile, her poise that seemingly never went unnoticed, the way her body flowed as if she were now a ballroom dancer. If it weren't for her features that hadn't aged a day since the last time he saw her, he would have guessed her to be somebody else.

"Ouch?" he questioned mockingly

"Night Will"

"Alicia are we really going to do this?" he said when she began to walk pass him

"Do what?"

"Hold grudges."

"Over what exactly?" she had her brows raised in his direction and stared at him in a way that told him the same feelings she shared two years ago were no longer available for shared interest. She could barely look him in the eye before looking away.

"Us"

She shook her head. "There is no us. There never was. You made that _very_ clear."

"Alicia" he began when she walked away and then walked back with her hand pointed in his direction. "Did you even get my calls?" she snapped. "My messages, I must have called you a billion times. I called your office until you changed your number. I sent you letters, you sent them back."

"I changed my address"

"Yea I figured that one out earlier on.." he liked it when she got all rattled up, in this circumstance he didn't exactly like the reasoning behind her outrage but he still found it amusing when she tried to calm herself by taking imaginary long breaths followed by a sigh. She closed her eyes, probably imagining somewhere else she would rather be. "I'm better than this." She said and then suddenly a calm smile was spreading across her lips and her eyes were open; she looked as though she had just completed a form of silent therapy. "You know what. All is forgiven, I'm over it and I can move on just like you did. It was very good to see you Will."

He watched with confused brows as she walked away, her heels clicked along with the agent who began to follow her. He would kick himself if he knowingly allowed her out of his life once again, so he stopped her. "Wait.." he watched as she stopped and he made his way to her, ignoring the frustrated gaze her bodyguard held.

"Look" he let out a sigh "I don't wanna cause any trouble Alicia. Listen, take a walk with me."

"A walk?" she questioned as if he had lost all control over his sanity, which bearing in mind wasn't totally off base. "Where?"

"Throughout the building."

"Why?"

"Because we haven't talked about anything in two years." He saw the hesitancy in her eyes and continued. "Please?"

They walked the first hall followed by the second which led up a beautiful staircase with paintings that caught Alicia's attention. Her bodyguard followed slowly, several metres behind them but it was almost as if she lacked notice that her form of agents didn't exist. She was so involved visually with the new design of the building, she had always found a passion in art, something he never really understood but accepted regardless.

The atmosphere that stood in the large gap between them was still knowingly awkward, they weren't necessarily comfortable around one another, she still made it clear to avoid touching him at whatever cost, but with time she gradually began to open up.

She had her arms folded in her chest, her porcelain skin was radiating and the strapless dress she wore only accentuated her beauty more if it were possible. He noticed when she talked that her voice was slightly raspy and he wondered if it was the cause of her having to talk a lot during the course of tonight, he would be lying if he said that he hadn't noticed the consistency of which her rounds around the room were, talking, laughing with various people.

He was proud of himself considering most of the night he avoided looking at her, but only when necessary and instead involving himself with conversations over equality for all and the Supreme Court and what he thought about politics. Cliché topics in all honesty; it said so much about the type of class that was invited to the function.

For the third time in five minutes they were stopped by someone else who greeted Alicia, she either knew them or she didn't, when she did, she either hugged one or smiled (an obvious sign that they weren't in her good books) and when she wasn't familiar with one, he watched her as she shook their hands and devoted what little time she had to listen to their words before departing and waiting for him to walk along with her.

"So.. you and Cary merged huh?"

He found it hilarious that she would ask this question, he had pictured their first encounter so many times over the years, what she would say, what he would say, how she would promote herself, not once did he think that she would ever allow herself to be around him again or yet talk business.

"Yep."

"Good investment?"

"Good enough." His answers were short and simple, he didn't want her to think that he was trying to win her back in any sort of element; under nothing but his best intentions for her, he wanted her to be happy, he wanted her to succeed in life and make something for herself as a public figure, he wanted her to experience things that he could never give her, and as far as he could see, it was all worth the sacrifice. She was the happiest he had seen her in a long time, her worries and stresses were replaced with softness and concern for others.

He never thought it was possible but she was even more beautiful now than ever before.

"I never assumed that you and Cary would agree to merge." she said softly

"We still have our disagreements, on everything, I guess it's good that Diane's always there to keep us on track."

She nodded her head and they carried on in silence. They reached a very tall balcony that overlooked the ballroom, many of the guests looked small as he stared down at them. He watched her from his side vision, she leant over the rail to get a better look at the height and then she smiled.

"Have you ever been cliff diving before?"

He stared at her in shock "No" he laughed

They began walking in silence again, the large gap between them had been lessened by an inch. "I discovered it about a year ago." She began talking. "Grace went hiking in the canyons one day, I dropped her off at this local area and we passed some teenagers, they were jumping off 20 to 30 foot cliffs into the water. I thought they were trying to commit suicide so I pulled the car over and discovered it was only for fun. So I asked them if they could teach me and they did."

He didn't mean to take it with humour but he couldn't help but laugh. "They must have gotten the biggest scare of their lives."

"They did, but they were trained professionals." He watched as the corner of her lip switched up into a smile. "Grace was completely _mortified_ and the minute we got home she rushed to tell her father. Peter wasn't very happy with my sudden interest in… it."

Will could only imagine the family orientation that went on behind closed doors in the white house. He couldn't imagine living a life like that, however, her current lifestyle of which pondered on a great deal; for the sake of Alicia whose happiness and safety would always be on his priority list.

"Did you end up jumping?"

She looked at him and nodded. "Oh yea, plenty of times."

With that she carried on walking, they both had their arms loosened behind each individual's back as they trailed in silence. The silence wasn't necessarily awkward or comfortable, she just seemed to be in another world.

And he didn't take any offence to her need for space.

"You look different." She murmured softly. Taking another glance at him

"I do?" he tried not to smile. "Like wise?"

"No I'm serious Will." She acknowledged his name for the first time, a tiny smile gracing her soft lips. "You seem… different, happy.. nice."

"Nice?"

"For a change." She smiled to herself, most likely proud of her statement. He wanted to tell her about everything, about how his life had changed dramatically fifteen months ago. About how desperate he was after he pushed her away and how the realization that he may never see her again dawned on him and terrified him to a point that he had once thought he was damaged forever. Damaged was an understatement.

"Can we.. take a seat please?" she nodded to his request which surprised him even more. They sat on one of the long stools against the wall and he took a deep breath.

"I want to say some things but before I do… can you promise that you won't interrupt until I finish."

She stared at him with trepidation before she nodded. "What I said that day at the airport… I need you to know that none of it was true."

He watched as her gaze went from his to the ground.

"I do care about you, I'll always care about you. You were my best friend and at one point my..."

"Will why are you" she said and then stopped. Shaking her head, she encouraged him to continue. "I couldn't let you ruin your life Alicia. I couldn't let you ruin your reputation just to be with me. It killed me seeing you hurt that day, but the only way I could get you to leave was to make you hate me. That's why I said all those things."

 _The only way I could get you to leave was to make you hate me._

"Really?" she doubted him, he pulled his brows together and nodded.

"Yes."

"I always thought that you were just taking advantage, that all those months meant nothing." In that moment, he experienced the familiarity of his chest tightening. He moved closer and took immediate action, trying to grab her attention by placing a hand on her arm, she pushed away and stood up, her breath hitched as she went to the railing that circled the building and stared down at the set of people from below.

He followed her gradually, standing next to her, he lent his weight against the railing and stayed silent. "I find it hard believing you." she finally said after several minutes.

"It was so easy for you to just… let me go. After everything we went through, all the fights we had during the campaign and the tears, I didn't know why you hadn't just ended it right then, instead of waiting till election night was over."

"It didn't feel as real until the date came closer. We were living in fantasy-land Alicia. I thought that it would be easy, you and Peter divorcing, but I woke up one morning and realized that I couldn't let you ruin your life."

"But it's my life" she said, her gaze fixed on the ground below. "It was my decision, not yours."

"I know."

The silence afterwards was long and comfortable this time. They finally took solace in one another's company instead of feeling awkward about it. His eyes roamed where they were, her bodyguard stood at the end of the hall, a distance longer in comparison to before, Will noticed but kept it to himself. He wondered if the 6 foot tall man trusted him enough to guard Alicia from any ongoing terrorist walking nearby.

"If you haven't figured it out at this point Alicia, none of what I said that day was true and I wasn't taking advantage of you. I loved you."

"I appreciate you telling me this Will.. but it's too late."

"I'm not asking anything of you Alicia. I just wanted you to know."

She looked at him with piercing hazel eyes, and nodded while offering him a kind smile. They remained intact for a while, his eyes couldn't leave hers even if he wanted to, he hoped that this could mean they could be friends regardless of how he felt about her.

"Will I…" she began, failing to continue, he could see that she was struggling to form words.

"What?" he pressed, "What is it?"

He heard the familiar voice of Eli coming from down the hall. "Well, where the hell is she? She wanted to go home, I have a helicopter waiting for her up on the rooftop."

Will and Alicia's heads followed the noise, he noticed that her agent had disappeared and then he heard his voice. "I don't know where she is sir, but I don't think she's up here."

"I have to go." Alicia said, her gaze fixed on him before she gathered herself and began to walk away.

"Wait" he touched her arm "When am I gonna see you again?" he didn't want to sound desperate and mentally kicked himself for adding more fuel to the fire. She glanced down at the ground and then back at him. Pulling her arm away from his, she began "I…"

"Alicia!" her head followed the noise, Eli had just rounded the corner when he spotted her. Will watched as she grasped onto the railing and took a deep breath, closing her eyes, he wanted to hold her and tell her that everything was fine, that they didn't have to talk anymore and she could live on from the heartbreak that he had obviously given her. But he was too worried for her wellbeing in this moment to think of anything else.

"Eli" she said as he got closer

Will watched as the older man's gaze found his and his shoulders tensed with recognition of the third party in the area. "Is everything okay here?" the possessive side of Eli presented itself, a side Will had seen only a few times.

"Yes." Alicia said. "We just bumped into each other a minute ago."

He ignored the lie that came out of her mouth and stretched a hand out in Eli's direction. "Eli. Good to see you."

Eli smiled at him as they shook hands, his gaze going from Will to Alicia's. "You too Will. Alicia, if you would still like to go home tonight. Your flight is waiting upstairs." Eli was being very formative with his false smile, Will read through the exterior and noticed that he was less than pleased with the situation.

"Yes thank you Eli. Can you do me a favour and let the house know I'm on my way, cancel dinner and send everyone home, I'm tired."

"Your mother called, she's worried."

"I'll call her later.. Thank you Eli, for everything."

"I'll walk with you upstairs."

"No that's fine." She smiled, while ignoring the look of shock on his face. "I'll see you and Peter tomorrow night."

She indicated for her agent to approach, Eli left the area with a sign of disbelief on his features and Will watched her every move as she handed the six foot man her wallet. "Wanna walk with us to the rooftop?" she asked Will.

He nodded and watched her smile. "Cool.. I just have to run downstairs and get my coat. I wont be long. Stay here with him Steve, make sure he doesn't run away." She teased

"Yes Mrs Florrick." Was his response, Will gave her an expression worthy of shock, was she actually going to leave him alone with this guy? His only response was her teasing grin before she flowed downstairs, it was almost as if she glided across the room, she walked passed a few people who noticed who she was but ignored their observation. He couldn't see her from where she moved to which was her table, but he understood that she was probably talking to Peter. Will watched Peter walk her halfway across the ballroom, he kissed her forehead and let her go. He was aware without a doubt that Peter loved her, he just didn't understand how he could watch her walk away. The irony was hilarious seeing as he often asked himself the same question.

He watched as she rushed towards their direction and then he followed suit. Two other men that he guessed were a part of her entourage stood a few metres behind them, he found it suffocating, having so many people follow his every step, he wasn't sure how Alicia handled it. He had watched her for some parts of the night, and easily spotted the mere moments where she either wanted them to follow her, or she wanted them to sink into a hole and never come out.

"Thank you for coming with me" she said when they reached the inside of the elevator. "I didn't want to hear Eli's lecture, and I hate being alone."

Will raised his brows and looked at the two tall men that stood in front of him, and the one who stood at the back of Alicia. He sensed Alicia reading through his thoughts when she smiled. "Being with these three highly boring agents often feels like I'm the only human in the room." She smiled again when they all snickered. "They're not very…. Social."

"I don't ever remember you being social." At his amusing words he watched as Alicia threw a glare at Steve who made his amusement clear with the knowledge of Will's words in his head. The tall dark man spoke for the first time, his voice was very deep. "Mrs Florrick is the most social person I have ever met, she can talk until there isn't enough oxygen for any of us."

"I'm right here you know?" was her response

"Really?" Will asked surprised"Because the woman I met twenty five years ago refused to say a word to me for a whole year after I accidently pushed her into a pool. "

"Accident?" she gaped. "Are you really going with that one?"

"Let's not forget the time five years ago when she failed to mention to a client that she was married and he went out and brought her an engagement ring."

"It was not an engagement ring, and he was a psychotic maniac who had a sick obsession over woman with dark hair." She defended, much to the amusement of everybody in the elevator.

It wasn't long before they reached the rooftop. The pilot already had the helicopter on with the wings in full spin. Her hair flew in all directions, beautiful dark curls in contrast with her pale skin sailed in the cold wind. She stopped and stared up at him, she wanted to say something, he could see it, but she was struggling internally with words as her eyes tried to search for something to say.

Instead, he moved forward, kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear. "It was good seeing you Alicia. Promise me you'll stay safe." She nodded her head, and for the last time she smiled at him. "I promise. Bye Will." and then she was gone.


	4. The Longing

She could almost feel the texture of his lips against her forehead, the way he stared at her, the way his hands touched her shoulder as he leant in, the way the tip of his nose stroked her hair when he kissed her skin. She felt like the obsessive woman she had become after he left her, she had gotten over that stage after she accepted the fact that he didn't love her, but now it was back. She told herself that the last time she would ever see him was at that dinner, but regardless of everything he had done to her she still cared for him, she still wanted to know that he was safe and out of any harm this horrible world consumed.

"Good.. Fantastic.. don't move please." The photographer was saying, she tilted her head slightly and smiled with soft eyes towards the lens. Her photoshoot had been scheduled for weeks now but she always found these sort of events so corny and unnecessary. Peter had yet to announce that he would run for a second term, they had a couple of more weeks to decide, something that terrified her, seeing as they had yet to discuss it as a family.

Her photographer was a man who she had grown to respect in the industry, she had met him first during the time of Peter's presidential campaign. Time magazine was enormous, though she didn't necessarily understand what interest anyone had in her, all she could think about was Will and her next flight to Cambodia which was in four hours and why on earth the two subjects seemed to intertwine.

"And we're all done." He announced much to her appreciation, she thanked her assistant for helping her with her robe and then made her way over to Ian. "That was beautiful darling, you're a natural." He said, shaking her head, she disagreed but tried not to offend him. He was a middle aged gay man who had an English accent and was known of his temper regardless of how much he seemed to adore her.

"Thanks."

"Here, I want to introduce you to a friend of mine. This is Rachel, she's the production manager of the company."

"Oh, hello" she stretched a hand out and shook hers.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Madam First lady." The name still felt uncomfortably foreign for her even after so many years.

"Please call me Alicia. Can I help you with anything?"

"Yes actually" the older woman smiled, they began to walk in the direction of Alicia's dressing room, she touched Ian's shoulder on her way out and then turned her attention back to the woman next to her.

"The company has been experiencing some… difficulties with our privacy accounts.."

"Privacy accounts?"

"Yes. Several emails from our staff in Chicago have been leaked, I was wondering since you worked in Chicago, any possible firms you would recommend."

"Are you suing?"

"Yes. We're suing the company we think may have incorporated it. I know nothing about Chicago, I've lived in New York my entire life."

"You know what Rachel. I know a firm that went through the exact same thing a few years ago. I'll give them a call."

"Really?"

She smiled in her direction. "Yes."

"Oh, I would appreciate that very much Mrs Florrick… I mean Alicia. Thank you."

/

"Cary Agos speaking." The familiar voice sounded exactly the same since two weeks ago, only a little less relaxed and instead more exhausted.

"Hello handsome."

"A… Alicia?"

"Well who else calls you handsome? Should I be jealous?"

She heard him chuckle through the phone and smiled. "Madam first lady, if I had known it was you on the phone I would have answered with a bit more enthusiasm for the sake of royalty" He teased

"Don't worry about it. I'll keep you in this country nonetheless." They both laughed. Before she added "I told your assistant that I was your housekeeper, I hope you don't mind."

"oh no! You should have told her your identity, she might start showing some respect for me at some point."

"Mr Agos, that is an important line regarding code of conduct that should be addressed immediately."

"That's a bit ironic isn't? I mean coming from you?"

"Oh shut up." They both laughed for a second time, reminiscing on her days in the office, then she returned back to the reason she had called in the first place.

"Listen.. I have a friend who needs council for a class action time magazine is taking out against an agency that's exposed their organization and leaked all their emails."

"Yea, I heard about it, it's some type of scandal here."

"Yes. Well, I recommended you guys to her, I hope you don't mind. I thought since Will and Diane went through the same thing, it may prove beneficial for both parties?"

"What are you serious?" he said "That's one of the most well-known companies in the advertising industry."

"And you're one of the best firms in the country. That's what I told her anyway, you're going to have to keep the legacy going from now on. I think they have pretty high expectations." She grinned

"Well, give them our details and since I am the handsome one, I'll be waiting by the phone this time." She snickered at his response with amusement.

"Where are you by the way?" he asked. "A war zone?"

"No, I'm in a plane, the engines are really loud. Listen I have to go, we're about to take off. Will talk later?"

"Yes. Thank you by the way."

She smiled. "You're welcome handsome."

The flight to Cambodia was long, but she had gotten used to it over the years, she had adjusted to traveling like a bird adjusted to flying. Even though it wasn't entirely sustainable for any normal human being, she loved it. She went through paper work for the majority of the time, and walked along the plane when her legs became stiff. She had two of her main staff with her, Damion was an intern studying at the white house, a portion of his degree was based on the diverse cultures between Vietnam, Africa and America, she had found him some months ago and assigned him to her team. Marissa was her assistant, Alicia's biggest confidant when it came to being on the road. She had five secret service member's with her, one being Steve who was extra defensive when it came to being in foreign countries.

Nobody seemed to disturb her when she worked on her laptop, more or less when she pulled her reading glasses out. They knew how absorbed she was into her work, and for the first time she decided to use it as an advantage. Glancing around the area, Marissa was asleep a few seats opposite her, some of her agents were resting, she was fairly constructed from any eyes. Turning her attention back to her laptop. She typed his name gradually into the chum hum search engine.

 _Will Gardner_

His name felt so strange to her senses, it was difficult for her to understand how one moment he meant absolutely nothing to her and then immediately with one conversation he was in her mind.

She scrolled down a few photos, the majority of them were from the list of Chicago's top available bachelors. She noted from a headline that he had been moved from 16th into the category of number five. She ignored that and moved on.

There were several articles about Will and Alicia's affair during her and Peter's split in 2012 when he was states attorney, the news had come out through Peter's opposition research, his apposing candidate tried to destroy him by going against Alicia. She often wondered how they had managed to pass the voters through that one.

She had read enough of these to last a lifetime, so for the sake of harsh memories resurfacing, she ignored them and clicked to the next page. She found one viable piece that caught onto her attention, she rolled her eyes when she realised it was an interview regarding his bachelor title as number 5.

 _IN: 'So Mr Gardner, how does it feel to be such an icon for men in Chicago?'_

 _WG: 'Icon?' laughs 'Well.. I uh, I never thought of it in that way. I don't understand why people have much interest in me. I'm just a lawyer.'_

 _IN: 'A very handsome lawyer.'_ Alicia distinguished by the tone of it that she was a woman. Typical. And not to mention unprofessional! Didn't she have any sort of morals?

 _WG: 'Thank you Mrs Davis, but honestly, I'm not looking for any sort of romantic relationship at this point in my life. I just want to focus on my work. That's something that I hope any woman who I'm with will understand.'_

Alicia sighed. After all these years he was still the same.

 _IN: 'There's gotta be a time in your life where you've wanted something more?'_

 _WG: 'Oh yes, there's been plenty of those moments, I think when you find the right person who makes you reconsider everything, it's great you know.'_

 _IN: 'So you have been in love?'_

 _WG: 'I didn't say I haven't. Of course I've been in love, I just don't tend to expose it to the world. That's all.'_

 _IN: 'Fair enough Mr Gardner. Can I just ask you one more question?'_

 _WG: 'Yea sure, go ahead.'_

 _IN: 'It's my understanding that Alicia Florrick once worked here for your firm?'_

 _WG: 'Uh yes, although I'm not sure what that has to do with this?'_

 _IN: 'Oh excuse my bluntness. I'm just a really huge fan, you have absolutely no idea. What was it like to work with the now first lady of United States?'_

 _WG: 'If you're a fan that's fair enough.. It was just like working with a regular person, she's one of the most hard working and intelligent attorneys I've known.'_

 _IN: 'I understand that she was a main partner?'_

 _WG: 'Yes. She was offered partnership at a very early stage in her career. She's not only a very good attorney but she's also a wonderful person, I think that has a lot to do with where she is now.'_

 _IN: 'Are you familiar with politics in that case?'_

 _WG: 'Well.. I would never physically join the arena of politics, but I think being a lawyer you have no choice but to follow it. It's everywhere you go. In saying that, I respect the president and his current choices, the rate of police brutality in America has certainly dropped while the economy has picked up again. It's difficult to achieve something like that in such a short time.'_

 _IN: 'I agree. Do you think that once the first lady and the president decide to leave the office, that she would ever return back to being a lawyer?'_

 _WG: 'Uhh, I think that's a question that you should save for her. I don't think she will though, personally I think she is doing a very good job with her campaign for children overseas.'_

 _IN: 'It's a very controversial topic though don't you think? She's ignoring the children in her own country that are suffering and working in other associations that don't concern America.'_

 _WG: 'It is very controversial but at the end of the day she's trying to help people in other countries that don't have the type of support and security that we have. I always knew that this was what she was born to do, help people.'_

She removed the device from her lap and closed it down, the article wasn't finished at that point but she suddenly felt tired and overwhelmed with feelings that once damaged the way she processed everything. Grabbing her blanket, she wrapped it around herself and brought her legs up to her chest. She sighed as she stared at the small screen in front of her. Mrs doubtfire was playing, it was her and Zach's favourite movie when he was a little boy, she couldn't laugh right now even if she wanted to. Her heart destroyed. Everything she thought about him had been wrong, he wasn't a man that took advantage of her, he loved her, yet he didn't want her the same way she wanted him. She shook her head one last time. This would never have happened if they had just realized their attraction for each other before she and Peter threw their pitch into the presidential race.

/

She woke to Marissa calling her name, pulling the headphones off her head, she stared up at the young woman with frustration. "Sorry to wake you up but we're landing in half an hour, you might wanna get ready."

"ok thanks."

She dressed in a pair of jeans that rolled up just below the knee, and threw on a lose white blouse. She made sure to wrap a scarf around her head before stepping off the plane. They went for the poorest side of Cambodia, the air warm and humid and completely diverse from Washington. There weren't as many buildings in the area, her first visit to this place was by accident, she was on her way to Thailand for a conference when they had to stop overnight due to terrorist threats in the sky. It was the first time she had ever physically walked through a village of poverty with her men. The image of sick and dying children remained in her head for days until she decided to do something about it.

What she loved most about travelling in foreign countries was that there were no camera's, she could be herself around people who didn't understand how large her status was, she could play and talk about things that didn't involve budget meetings, or the art deco in the white house and the type of things first lady's did in their spear time. It was pathetic, and she hated it when interviewers asked her such irrelevant questions.

"Hi there sweet girl." She bent down to her knees and waited for the six year old to crash into her arms.

"Licia!" her arms were around her neck in minutes, offering the type of cuddles that reminded her of why she devoted so much of her time to their care.

"Have you been behaving?" Alicia asked when she pulled back. The little girl nodded and looked behind her and then her brows creased up. "Where's Gracie?"

"She couldn't come this time sweetheart, she has to go to school."

"I go to school too?"

"Hopefully one day you will. I promise." She lifted her up onto her hip, the orphan was extremely small for a six year old, the type of weight Grace held when she was only three.

She walked into the small room and greeted some of the caregivers that worked in the orphanage, bending down, she smiled as she listened to the kids sing songs, some of whom recognized her were up and running towards her with giggles and smiles that made her feel lighter immediately, the weight on her shoulders that came with worrying about the possibility of a re-election and Will and all the bullshit that came with the downsides of her job, it was all gone.

The soft smile that she found so alluring in herself made an appearance when all the kids in the village remembered her. She considered herself with different smiles, something that the press caught onto, there was the fake one, the indulged one, and then there was this one. Relaxed and happy, a smile that should belong to the heart of her husband but didn't.

She glanced around the area, her secret service were dressed casually, the majority of them were surrounded by kids, smiles on their faces. Marissa and Damion were playing soccer with the older children, and all she could think about was Will; on a scale of ten she knew he would like this at a rate of eight. She was positive he would love them as much as she did, she didn't often visualize a future with the man who ripped her heart to pieces and trampled on it on his way out, but she was still allowed to think about what they could have been if it weren't for timing and unfortunate circumstances.

They remained in the building for a few hours, the house was large, two story with staircases that stretched up to meet all the kids bedrooms. She stayed for dinner and listened to each and every one of them tell tales, she wanted to warn them that fairy tales didn't exist but refrained from ruining at least an ounce of their version of hope.

A little boy with innocent eyes asked her if she had kids, and she said yes. He asked where they were, and she said they were with their father. He then told her that his parents were blown up by a bomb. She took him in her arms and asked if he had any relatives, he said that he had an older sister but she died of a disease. He couldn't speak English very well but what she caught onto was that she developed aids and died shortly after.

She watched as he jumped off her lap after a while and he ran off to play with his friends, she unconsciously made eye contact with Steve, she was beginning to like him for once, he offered her a smile and then she let her gaze fall to the ground, feeling completely hopeless.

For reasons of safety, she wasn't able to stay overnight in these type of foreign cities due to the conflict of interest that involved her title of first lady. Even though half the people in these isolated villages knew nothing of her other than she was an ambassador of some sort, they often assumed that she was some rich person who had power over their living, how naïve they were, she could only wish she held that title, maybe then she could do something effective.

They got back on the plane and set out for the main city in Thailand where they would stay for a few nights and visit former villages. Steve took his seat next to her and set his head back against the chair. She let her gaze drift outside the window, with the sun going down, it was a beautiful sight, but she still felt completely empty

Steve's phone began to vibrate and he answered quickly, speaking in hushed tones, she wished he would just take her orders and stay home with his partner, but he never listened to anything she had to say.

"Your wife?" she asked

He nodded "Yea. Just saying goodnight."

She sighed once again and stared out the window, she thought about Peter and what he was doing, he had a meeting with the president of china and she wanted to know how the negotiations were going, Grace had an exam today as well on criminal law, she was graduating at the end of the year and planning on changing her second name from Florrick to Cavanaugh, Peter understood and respected his daughter's decision, Grace and Zach had been fairly isolated from the public and press, but by now everyone in a court of law distinguished the name Florrick, and Grace didn't want to be scrutinised by who her father was. That's why she spent the majority of her holiday with Veronica at the beach house, away from her mother and father that obviously brought a lot of attention.

"It was a good day Mrs Florrick." She heard Steve say

"It was" she said. "I don't know.. I always feel so _drained_ after these visits. I just feel so hopeless at times."

He remained silent for a while, this was why she liked him, he didn't talk much, and other than the glass wall she was made of, he treated her like a regular person and she needed that on a daily basis.

"I know it may feel… that way Mrs Florrick.. but I've never met anyone who cares as much as you do for those children. I've been with the white house for two decades and by far you're the first person I've met who actually has interest in everything."

"Other first lady's didn't have interest in anything?"

"They did." He said "But only for particular organizations, things that they cared about."

She laughed. "I don't see any difference there Steve. I run a campaign that raises money for poor children overseas. And that's all I do."

"Yes but when it comes to other associations you care..like that guy from the military who had his legs blown off in combat. You talked with him for hours. You care."

"You know who taught me that there's more to life than thinking about yourself?"

"Who?"

"Will." Her gaze dropped down to the ground as she smiled softly. "When we were in law school we used to make cookies, he would go out and buy a ton of blankets and then we would walk the streets holding hands, he would give a blanket and a box of food to homeless people. He's always been like that, even though he hides it and puts on this tough person, really, deep down he's kind and loving."

She fiddled with her fingers, craving to just lie in Will's arms and forget about everything else. She didn't know why she was talking to her secret service agent about this, god knows she had embarrassed herself enough in his presence. Steve was staring at her now as if she had gone insane, but then his features changed and he smiled at her.

"What did you think of him?" she asked, hoping for a reaction. "When you first saw Will?"

"He doesn't talk much…Not that I listened in on your conversation" she grinned at his answer. "He allowed you to talk more than he did which is what everyone does I guess.. Yea, he's.. nice." his lack of context was fitting for who he was

"I want your honest answer Steve. What was your first impression?" she found herself laughing, a teasing smile to her lips as she tried to gather an honest opinion from her awkward bodyguard.

"FIne. You want my honest answer?"

"Yes."

"I have yet to meet anyone who has ever looked at you the way he did." She felt chills run up and down her spine at his words. She thought she was the only one who noticed Will's eyes remain on her for a bit longer, or the way he touched her skin for the briefest moments, as if he were afraid she would break but needed reassurance that she was real.. "That is nothing against Mr Florrick by the way." He added,

She smiled at him and shrugged. "I'm glad you met him." She pointed out honestly. "It'll probably be the last time you ever do."


	5. The Adoption

_"Diane, we agreed we wouldn't go any higher than twenty million.." she heard his hushed voice down the hallway of his apartment as she padded down only wearing underwear and one of his shirts. She leant against the wall and watched him pace back and forth in his kitchen._

 _"_ _Why am I whispering?" he faltered, probably trying to come up with a lie. "I'm whispering because it's nine a clock on a Sunday morning and I'm tired, and don't try and change the subject. We are not giving Canning another cent, if we have to take it back to court that's what will do."_

 _She couldn't hear what Diane was saying on the other line from where she stood, but she could see that Will was getting more frustrated. "Are you serious? What do you care? You're leaving the firm anyway!"_

 _She watched as he sat down exhausted. "What happened to being a team? Working together?"_

 _She decided to move towards him with gentle steps. "Oh that's just great Diane. Wonderful to know where your priorities remain. Enjoy your judgeship." With that he hung up and sighed. She let her arms slip around his shoulders from behind and he flinched immediately before softening under her touch. "You scared me."_

 _"_ _You woke me."_

 _He turned around in her arms pulled her between his legs, allowing his hands to run over her hips and thighs. "I'm sorry" he apologized "I tried to be quiet."_

 _"_ _It's okay" she played with his hair and leant in to capture his lips In a kiss. No matter how many times she kissed him it always felt the same, intoxicating and crazy enough to drive her madly in love with him all over again._

 _"_ _What's going on with you and Diane?"_

 _She watched as he sighed and moved his head to rest on her chest, closing his eyes, wishing all the stress on his shoulders to just disappear. "You're so lucky you get to take a few months off work. This crippling economy is destroying every damn business in Chicago." She felt for him in every aspect. She and Cary were lucky because clients from other firms that had gone bankrupt were making their way for Florrick Agos, all because of her title now that they were five months away from Election Day. They were overfilled with clients so much so that they had to recommend moving elsewhere, Lockhart Gardner was the first available firm on their list where she recommended representation, and her insistence behind it didn't go unnoticed._

 _Having two more months at the firm before she would take a 3 months break due to her schedule for the campaign. Cary agreed to keep her name on the letterhead until they distinguish whether she was staying in Chicago as first lady of Illinois or moving to Washington to take on the world. She was yet to tell him about her real plans, she and Will agreed to keep everything undergrounds for the sake of disclosure._

 _"_ _You should call Diane and apologize."_

 _"_ _Are you serious?" he looked up at her. "I didn't do anything wrong."_

 _She looked at him with raised brows, questioning his childishness. "Will.. come on."_

 _"_ _Fine" he half mumbled. "I'll call her in a while when I've cooled down."_

 _"_ _There's the nice man I know." she grinned when he snickered at her. Slipping her arms back down from his neck, he caught onto her hands and she looked around the apartment. This wasn't their usual place, it was always her brother's old apartment that they met in but last night she was so desperate to have him she snuck into his place. He closed all the blinds and curtains in the large apartment to make sure they were hidden within layers and layers of material before they crawled into bed and made love. She shivered under his touch when he ran his hands along her glorious body, his eyes looking over her as if she were some goddess._

 _"_ _I swear… you are the most beautiful thing on this earth."_

 _"_ _You're not going to think that in twenty years' time when I'm old and grumpy."_

 _"_ _When you're old and grumpy?" he laughed. "Alicia, you're standing half naked in my kitchen. You think I'm afraid of you getting old? You still look exactly the same since I first met you. There's no difference."_

 _"_ _Trying to get me to have sex with you again Mr Gardner?"_

 _"_ _Depends.. Is it working?"_

 _Before she could reply he was pressing ticklish kisses of purrs against her neck, having her laugh. She felt him pull back, and watched him from above as he looked at the clock and then back at her with hunger in his eyes. "I have you to myself for one whole hour before you have to get ready for court."_

 _"_ _What are you gonna do with me Gardner?" she teased, she was like putty under his fingers, willing and ready without hesitation to give anything up for his satisfaction._

 _"_ _I know a lot of things we can do but let's start with this first." He cupped her face and brought it down to rest on his forehead as he kissed her. A storm of emotions racing within her when she felt his hands slide over her body. She straddled his lap from where he sat on the stool, kissing him passionately while grinding her hips against hi. The greatest touch to her skin was his eyes followed by his lips. She shivered when his hand found its way under her shirt, pulling back from his lips, she lifted the shirt over shoulders, displaying her breast before discarding it on the floor and forcing his lips to hers. She gasped when he offered less stability as he pick her up and carried her to the couch. She laughed when he dropped their bodyweight on the spread and began pressing kisses against every inch of her body. Her laughs were replaced with moans that led to allowing her lover to rest in her arms for what felt like forever._

 _She stared at the ceiling and ran her fingers through his silky hair. His head rested on her chest when he fell asleep, buried on top of her, she didn't mind, if it were any other man she would crawl away but this was Will, and she loved him with everything, she wanted him to meet her kids, which was a huge step for herself, and would most likely not happen this year, but he knew that at the end of the day, everything boiled down to what was best for her children, he respected that, and anyone who understood why a woman would stay with her husband after a scandal was one in Alicia's good graces._

 _She pulled the blanket on the sofa above them, his couch was large and comfortable, easily manoeuvrable, she watched him sleep for a little bit, the lines on his forehead ceasing with every breath he took. She fell asleep and forgot all about court._

 _/_

"Alicia, hello? Alicia?" she was snapped out of her thoughts by Marissa shaking her shoulder. She was staring at her laptop when Will entered her mind for a third time on that trip. She decided right then that she was going achieve at least six hours of sleep tonight, discard any of her fondest memories away into a box and forget all about it.

"Yes?"

"We're here" she pointed out of the plane outside her window. She hadn't realized they had landed in Africa when she recognized the stunning sunrise that fired across a beautiful set of private land. Ethiopia was one of the poorest countries in Africa, she knew because she had spent a considerable amount of time several months ago helping the repair of damaged orphanages. But regardless of anything it was still so beautiful.

She shook herself out or her trance and stood up. The warm breeze that hit her face as she stepped off the plane made her sigh, amongst the poorest villages, this part of Africa was absolutely beautiful, she had been to many places, she had probably visited more countries than she ever did in her lifetime. Her favourite place to vacate in was New Zealand and Scotland, though she only visited each of them for a short amount of time before dragged off by the busy schedule of her husbands.

She threw a silk scarf around her head to ignore the heat before jumping in the waiting car that accompanied her staff. They drove through the city and headed for the outskirts, the village wasn't as bad as people said it was, it just had a reputation for violence and disruption, something that was common in every city she worked in.

"Alicia" Marissa pulled her back from her long stare out the window.

"Hmm?"

"It's your mom." Her gaze dropped down to the phone in her hands, she took it and smiled.

"Hi mom"

"Hi honey, how are you?"

"Good, why?"

"Just asking." She said. "Where are you now?"

"We just landed in Ethiopia. How are you?"

"Oh me? I'm fine. Everyone worries too much you know, the doctor says I'm fine but you already know that."

Her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer a little over a year ago, she had the double mastectomy not long after she went through two doses of kemo. Alicia would give anything to not go back to the days of having to worry whether she was going to lose her too. The press had created false rumours that Alicia was suffering through depression because of Veronica's health, something that was far from the truth, there were too many reasons to why she disliked the media, and she still had a list to write, that being on the top of her personal inventory.

"I understand that mom, but you have to keep your vitamins up. I can't deal with another one of your slips right now." The tears that clogged in her throat made her well up inside. She shook them away immediately

"Honey, I'm fine, I.. I'm fine, there's nothing to worry about Alicia.." she's heard the speech before, the one where Veronica makes her health better than what it actually is.

"I have to go now mom." She said abruptly, her gaze rested outside the window, she didn't want to talk to her anymore at this point.

"I'll call you in a couple of days."

"Make sure you do. Love you sweetie."

"Yea, you too." She hung up and gave the phone to Marissa, ignoring the concern in her eyes, she sighed and rested her head against the seat, wiping the naïve tear that escaped down her cheek. She'd promised Peter that she would look into this place, but she felt a headache emerge and was close to calling the evening to an end and going straight to the hotel.

They stopped outside the newly built building, fresh grass viewed out to the front which was a striking change, the house that she had seen designed on paper was the house that sat in front of her. It was beautiful.

"Alicia!" the old woman that she had grown fond of, greeted her at the front door. She was the head of the house, and also taught the children as a former teacher. She wrapped her arms around Judy and smiled. Her tense shoulders already terminating.

She had yet to meet any of the children in the orphanage, but to say that she was excited was an understatement, she could almost feel her heart bumping against flesh. And their innocent beautiful smiles as she walked in made everything worth the struggle.

After greeting the kids, Judy led her upstairs to where the babies were settled. The place had a warm atmosphere, as if the children weren't just orphans but were treated with love and care.

The lights were dim as they entered one of the nursery's, seven different cribs were lined up, she could see that Judy was leading her to the first crib, but there was a new born that caught her attention immediately on the other side and her curiosity reached to a scale of ten.

"Her name is Zahara." She pointed out. The infant was sleeping, her tiny fists spread out above her head with a pacifier in her mouth. She had beautiful golden brown skin, it glowed and the soft texture felt of precious glass. Alicia had met many different children in the last two years, all of different ethnicity's and stories, but there was something about this particular baby that held an attraction. There weren't words to describe it, the feeling was palpable and Alicia could almost feel the eternal struggle pulling her back and forth between what she wanted and what she _couldn't_ have.

"Is she new?" Alicia, her eyes fought to leave the infant's beautiful face.

"She's six months old."

"What? She's so tiny." Alicia recalled back to when Zach was six months, he was so chubby he could barely crawl without tumbling over.

"Yes. She's very ill. Her family died amongst explosion, her mother was the only one left before she gave birth. She died afterwards due to lack of treatment."

At her words, Alicia felt her chest tighten, she rested her elbows on the edge of the crib and covered her face. Silence settled in the room for several minutes until she heard little whimpers from beneath her. She wiped the tears away from her face with her sleeve and bent over just in time to catch eyesight of the baby. Her eyes were piercing green, with a hint of ocean blue. She had never formally seen a child in Africa with eyes like that, her first reaction was to smile but she was too absorbed into her features.

 _Peter would adore her._ Was the first thought that entered her mind. There was no way Zach and Grace wouldn't spoil her rotten, Veronica would fall for her beauty in seconds, and within an instant she watched as the small infant smiled up at her with her arms stretched up.

"That's the first smile I've seen from her Alicia." Judy pointed out with what looked like sincerity.

"I can't get over how beautiful she is." She felt guilty for not having the same level of fascination for the other thousands of children she had met. But this was different, this held a similar feeling to love at first sight only in a less entitled, less corny way. Adoption had been a subject that never entered her mind seriously up until now, it was an alien topic only because of who she was as a public figure, she was positive that if she wasn't married to the leader of the country and she did this for a living she could easily make some little human the happiest child in the world. She had met so many children in cities like this that were desperate for a home, she found herself getting desperate at times too, trying to find a home for one, only this time she was in charge of the cap that would either change her life or not.

And as if on cue, the infant's arms stretched up at her as she whimpered. "She's probably hungry" Judy pointed out. "If you'll excuse, I'm going to prepare a bottle for her. Do you wanna hold her?"

Alicia nodded, Judy encouraged her to lift her out of the crib before she left downstairs. Alicia took a deep breath as she unlocked the borrow. She held babies everyday but she was afraid she could possibly break this one. She slid her arms underneath the small child and slowly settled her into the crook of her arm. "Hi there sweetheart." She whispered softly.

Zahara wiggled in her arms before she gave up and cooed into Alicia's chest. Her hand reached up to touch Alicia's chin with a smile that melted her heart and she was done for it.

* * *

It wasn't long before Judy came back with a warm bottle of milk and found Alicia sitting in the rocking chair with a very happy baby in her arms. "Her body system is lactose intolerant so we have to give her a special type of milk." Judy said as she bent down next to Alicia.

"She's lactose intolerant?"

"Yes. It's rare for a new born but shortly after we took her in we had one of our doctors take a look. She wasn't responding very well to her powder."

"Does it mean that she'll have this for the rest of her life?"

"It's very likely, however it may change in the future."

She gave her the bottle and Alicia gently placed ii in her mouth, she remembered when Zach and Grace were infants and could barely crawl, they could probably eat until exploding if they wanted to, Grace fell pretty well into her habits of eating vegetables as well, Zach was a different story, however when Peter played airplanes he use to eat them until there was none left, she almost laughed at the recollection, she didn't realize how lucky she was back then. If she could go back and have more children she would do it in a heartbeat.

The baby's eyes fluttered slowly as her cheek pressed against Alicia's breast, she ran her free hand through her hair and smiled down at her. "You're very good with kids Alicia." Her former friend said as she sat in the chair opposite her.

Alicia smiled at her in gratitude before returning her attention back to Zahara. Her little fist had caught onto Alicia's finger and she was now staring up at her with her coloured eyes and a sweet smile. "You are definitely the most beautiful baby I have seen in a while." She stroked her cheek. "I wanna take you home and give you cuddles."

She heard Judy chuckle and sighed for the last time. "I think she's the one."

"I think she is too." She said. "You two are made for each other."

Alicia contemplated her words, she felt like she was going completely insane, this was real, this was Alicia traveling to fantasy land again because she didn't want the life she currently had, she should be greateful for everything she had and she was, but then again everyone deserved to be happy.. She just wanted to live somewhere private with an un-famous identity. "I don't know Judy" she sighed. "It just seems like such a crazy idea."

"You don't have to decide." She comforted. "Just spend some time with her. She needs… someone she likes, she doesn't like anyone else here. She can cry for hours with some of our caregivers. You're the first person she's ever settled with."

"I'm gonna come back." She promised. "Tomorrow morning and maybe the next. I wanna spend some time with her."

"That sounds like a great idea."

Alicia nodded as she returned her attention back to the little girl in her arms. She had stopped drinking from her bottle at this point and was fast asleep. Alicia kissed her forehead and felt the depths of her chest fill when the infant curled into her neck and rested her head against Alicia's shoulder.

* * *

It was four weeks in and she was already beginning to feel at home working here in the children's facility. She had travelled back to the states once before flying back to Ethiopia. She had to reassure Peter that she was safe and alive while forcing herself to have another argument with him over his desire to announce his re-election. She always knew that It was something he wanted, without concern or fear, she was aware that with his power came expectations, and expectations led to pressure, pressure of which the American people were forcing onto herself and her husband's shoulders.

She wasn't exactly in a position to choose, but she told Peter to either wait for her answer, or start without her, failing to even mention that she was planning on adopting an Ethiopian child under a different name and introducing her into their home.

She wasn't sure whether she needed psychiatric health under the acknowledgement that she was excited to see Eli Gold's blue and red reaction.

She heard small cries coming from the room as she made her way across the hall, passing hospital rooms where elders sat with limited resources. She swallowed the intense lump behind her throat as she made her way into the baby area, Zahara had to be brought into medical care due to her malnutrition. Her whimpers slowed down as Alicia picked her up and settled the infant into her warm arms. The six month old yawned and stretched her limbs, her silk pad of hair tickling the soft texture of Alicia's neck. "Are you serious?" Judy exclaimed. "I've been trying to get her to stop crying for hours and then you walk in.."

"Are you absolutely positive you wanna do this?" she heard Marissa's voice come from across the room and nodded.

"I've never felt so positive in my life."

"Alicia you do realize…. The repercussions if this gets out right?"

"I've already spoken to Zach and Grace. All that matters to me is that they understand why I'm doing this."

Marissa sighed. "Okay. Whatever you want. Steve and I will be your witnesses when you sign the final papers tonight."

"I know" Alicia said. "We just have to wait for this little one to be discharged." She smiled down at the child in her arms, pressing another soft kiss against her forehead. She had spent the last couple of nights reading on Zahara's family history, the files were provided by none other than her talented friend Judy who kept a record of each infant's medical records along with their genetics referring to their identity.

It was very important for Alicia that she understand her culture and heritage. It was also very important that once Zahara gets older they visit Africa as much as possible. It all felt overwhelming crazy but Alicia had never been so in-love since Will, and even then nothing compared to this, nothing compared to the smile of which her cheeks overspread with the deepest blush each time Zahara smiled up at her causing her heart to flutter back to life once again. She had been living in a different woman's body for the past two years, and now it was time to come out and experience the exquisite feeling of being a mother, again. It didn't matter whether she was born with her blood or without it, none of that mattered to her. She had spent the last month with the child to know that this was what she wanted.

Zach and Grace weren't going to give her grandbabies anytime soon, something she grasped onto a long time ago with Zach's busy job and Grace's overwhelming life as a student in her last year studying law.

They left the hospital shortly after. Zahara's doctor was a man that Alicia worked with on field inside the hospital, she visited many medical facilities in order to push people to their limit, offering positive vibes when she lacked in her own.

Zahara made cute noises as they drove back to the orphanage. Her hands up in the air playing with the toy that hung down from her seat. She was unbelievably clever for her age, already trying to speak and form words as a response whenever Alicia spoke to her.

She pulled out her phone and texted Owen. _'I'm about to do something that may or may not be stupid. Tell me it isn't stupid.'_

It took several minutes for him to respond. But when he did she smiled at his subtle response. _'It isn't stupid.'_

At least if the adoption went through she could blame her brother for when the time came to inform Peter and Eli on the child that she was bringing into their lives.

"I take it you read through the adoption papers?" Judy asked when Alicia placed the sleeping child back into her cot, running her hands through her soft hair.

"Yes." Alicia looked up at her. "When can I sign them?"

"Now?"

Alicia smiled, her lower lip suffering from her teeth as she bit down her excitement. "Now sounds amazing."


	6. The Florricks

A/N: Sorry for the late one again, thanks to all the reviews, and follows etc, I know I don't say it often but you're all wonderful and I appreciate the feedback. Yep that's it. Enjoy!

* * *

She sat on the sofa in Peter's office with her hands placed on her knees and her eyes closed as she listened to Eli Gold's current outburst. His rant of questions started off with was she ok mentally, followed my questions regarding her head, her well-being, and what on earth was she thinking.

She remained silent for the ride, hidden glances thrown towards Peter who had his head in his hands.

"Do you hate me?" she heard Peter say, his words were quiet but she heard him. "Is that why you've done this? To get back at me?"

"This isn't about you." she said softly, her gaze dropped to the ground. Eli however was still going at it, but by now, ironically Alicia and Peter were the only stable people in the room. "You know more than anyone how much I wanted another child ever since we moved here."

"I knew?" the shock in his features hindered at the truth behind her words, he was confused now and she could slowly see the anger approaching. "Alicia…. I don't remember ever having a conversation about kids… you.. Are you really going with that statement?" he raised his brows. "That I knew and did nothing?"

"Through obvious reasons you must have known.."

"Oh yes I must have known since we haven't slept together in the last three years right?" he stood up and moved to the available window in the oval office, he rested his hands in his pocket and she allowed him to wallow in his anger, knowing that he had every right to expose her under the familiar light of guilt.

She remained silent in her own bubble and threaded her fingers through her silky hair. She understood his outrage over the situation, she initially thought that Peter would understand her love for the small infant currently sleeping in their bedroom, obviously she had to re-think the way she processed everything.

Eli had stopped talking at this point and his eyes moved between the two who formed the sudden tension in the room.

"Alicia… I've handled your outbursts with patience." Peter said. "I handled your depression when we first moved in, at least that's what I thought. I've gone to every fundraiser you've arranged, and done everything you've asked me to. So I'm going to ask one thing from you and I want you to listen."

She looked at him from across the room and raised her brows. "Take the child back." He said. "I hope for the sake of her health that you send her back into the life that she's supposed to be in, therefore she doesn't get exposed any more than she already has."

"The life that she's supposed to be in?" she repeated his words for her own mind, standing up, she ignored Eli's look of pure panic; she was so close to torturing the word 'divorce', just to distinguish a reaction out of him.

"You know what I mean.."

"The only place that she is supposed to be is with me." Her voice was steady and calm. Surprising herself in every way possible.

Peter looked at her with pity and sorrow, as if he felt sorry for her and she hated it. "Peter I am telling you" she moved towards him, "You know me. I wouldn't do this if I wasn't thinking straight. I understand all the repercussions but she's perfect Peter. She's everything, honestly" she laughed unconsciously. "Everything suddenly makes sense when I'm with her, she brightens my entire world and I'm a hundred percent sure she is going to do the same with you."

He looked unsure as he stared at her. They were interrupted by Eli who spoke behind "It isn't about how you feel Alicia" he said, "It's about how it looks. With Peter going announcing his candidacy for the next elections, the public are going to think that this was a conscious decision made for the campaign."

"The campaign?" she gaped, her head flying in Peter's direction. "So you're pitching?"

"Yes." His voice was firm and solid. "I was going to tell you, until you came home with an unknown child in your arms."

"I can't believe you!" she bursted "When were you going to ask me about this? Do you have any idea what you've just done?"

"I did ask you, four weeks ago and you told me to give you time. I've given you all the time in the world Alicia, and I'm doing this." His calm tone drove her insane. "And for your information, I do understand what I've done, and I think it's the best decision at this point."

"You idiot!" she screamed, Eli flinched in her side position. "This is going to expose us! This is going to expose Zahara, she's never going to have a chance at a normal life if we spend another four years here."

"If you hate living here so much why the hell are we still doing this?"

"I don't think.." Eli interrupted, she placed a hand in his face.

"We're still doing this because it's not just your life sitting on an edge, it's mine too. You fall, I fall. You're just as much as a part of my life as everyone else Peter. For heaven-sakes I love you."

"That doesn't mean anything Alicia, I'm in your life because I was chosen by fault, and that's okay, I accepted it a long time ago."

"Chosen by fault? what on earth is that supposed to mean?"

"You know goddamn well what it means!" he raised his voice for the first time in years. She couldn't believe that after everything, they were back here again, their relationship would always pivot back to this point, involuntarily. The irony was ridiculous because she knew that her fling with Will wasn't just one sided, it wasn't the only affair that could have ruined the campaign, but of course as a result of her gender, and being a woman who had every man on his knees begging for her attention, she would always be in the wrong. Always

She slammed the door on her way out of his office, ignoring the plain shock that registered through their staff. It was their first time witnessing herself and Peter fight, even in the last two years they were both regarded as calm and poised when it came to everything. Today was her only exception. She made her way down the hall, up the stairs and into the private location of where they lived. It was almost as if this area of the building was another house in comparison to what lay outside the door that entered into the business side of her life.

The halls were blue instead of white, her kitchen was a dark shade of grey and creamy brown, with a view that stretched out into the backyard of the white building. They had five bedrooms in their section, but one was turned into her dressing room. The other two belonged to Zach and Grace, though they were never used. And the other was a guest room, primarily used by Owen who often refused to stay anywhere outside of this section in the large building. Jackie had her own area somewhere in the house, but was only utilised when she was in town.

The area was closed off to any of the over-populated staff that worked in the building, it was refreshing having this, designed with a purpose that laid out exactly like her old apartment in Chicago, only the halls were longer, and the rooms were larger.

She heard her giggles even before she entered the room, the stress from her fight with Peter immediately falling from her shoulders as she walked in to find her housekeeper taking care of her beautiful daughter. Alicia wasn't sure what on earth she would do without the older woman, Nancy was an old beautiful lady who took care of the necessary things Alicia didn't have time for, housekeeping had always been essential when it came to Alicia's neat, tidy and structured life. From time to time, the older woman gave Alicia advice on what to wear under her Italian accent that she had yet to understand.

"Alicia, she is adorable."

"I know." She smiled proudly as she sat on the edge of the bed and dipped her head over the seven month old, kissing her nose gently, she watched as Zahara's eyes perched up at her and she smiled brightly with her little hands holding Alicia's face. Alicia kissed her from upside down followed by pulling her shirt up and blowing ticklish bubbles on her stomach. The little girl's laughter echoed the room sending her heart into overdrive once again.

"I changed her diaper. And switched the box on." Alicia knitted her brows together until she realised the older woman was referring to the television on the wall that played Barney and his friends. She nodded to herself and smiled. "Thank you honey. I can take over from now."

"You sure? I don't mind staying Mrs Florrick."

"I'm fine, you should go home. It's getting late. I'll see you in the morning."

Nancy nodded, she played with Zahara's finger one last time before leaving. Alicia waited for her to close the door before she lifted her daughter into her arms and smiled as the infant grabbed onto her hair, she didn't pull or bite, but instead stared at it with interest. She cried for half of the trip back to the states, Zahara seemed to dislike small spaces just as much as Alicia disliked hearing her cry. Next time they were to travel, the plane would be bigger and adjustable to the seven month old's comfort, new forms regarding confidentiality needed to be signed, attention amongst their large household needed to be raised, and she had a list of things to write, many including the new change their personal space demanded. The majority of it was already proving to be the beginning of a difficult journey, but Alicia was more than prepared for the challenge.

"What are we gonna do with you huh?" she questioned, laying on her back, she lifted her daughter up in the air causing more giggles. The last month had been nothing short of amazing, the bond that had grown between them didn't go unnoticed by anyone on her trail, including Marissa who seemed to be just attached to Zahara now more than anybody else.

After more playing, Alicia eventually grew tired and settled Zahara on her chest, staring down at her green eyes that fluttered with tiredness, she pushed her soft pad of hair back and kissed her forehead. "I'm never going to let you go sweet girl, I promise."

/

She bathed her daughter just as she had been doing for the past month, only this time it felt different to be doing it in her own home. Tomorrow was a new day where Marissa and Nancy would help her decorate the nursery, Owen was flying over late afternoon, enough time for him to spend with his new niece, no matter how foreign the term sounded to her ears.

She knew from the long plane ride that her daughter was tired, so she settled her into her arms and watched with admiration as she drank her bottle with her tired eyes focused fully on Alicia's. She heard Peter enter the door amongst their nightly routine of bonding time, but slowly forgot that he was near. It didn't take long for Zahara's eyes to fall shut, Alicia placed her in the middle of the bed in Grace's room with pillows and cushions on either side, used as her own shield until her crib would be built sometime in the next day.

She watched her sleep until she felt as if it were safe to leave her before assigning the baby monitor close to ear and walking back into the large living area. She showered in the guest bathroom, knowing that Peter was using their one, and when done she walked into her bedroom in silk clad pyjamas, ignoring Peter's gaze and shooting him a glare when he looked as though he was expecting another conversation.

"I'm not sleeping in the guest room because this is my room and I want to be close to Zahara." Were her only words as she climbed under the covers and faced the nightstand, the baby monitor facing her direction, she could almost hear the light snores that came from the small infant through the other line.

"So we aren't going to talk about this?"

She sighed, glancing at him behind her shoulder, she shook her head. "Peter I'm tired, exhausted actually. Go to sleep. You probably have a big day tomorrow." Just like he did every day.

"I have a meeting with the democratic committee." He said softly. "Will you be able to make it?"

"I'll decide in the morning."

"Because we have all the time in the world."

Rolling her eyes, she blew air between her teeth and switched the lamp off.

/

His peripheral eye found itself sitting on the clock for the tenth time that night. Alicia's slow breaths beside him told Peter that she was just as exhausted as she appeared to be. He could probably use his lack of sleep as productive time spent in his office, he still had a speech to work on and a billion other things to do, but it was odd knowing that there was somebody else in their selected area of the house. Usually it was just him and Alicia; that was when she was in the country which was hardly ever promising these days.

He heard the cries coming from the other room before the baby monitor on Alicia's side could even pick it up, sitting up on his elbows, Peter's gaze shifted along his ex-wife's sleeping form, she was gone. Her eyes didn't even flinch when Zahara's cries increased, her little voice murmuring something that resembled to 'mumma' but not quite close. He tried to touch her, but knowing that her day was long, he avoided adding more fuel to her exhaustion..

With a sigh escaping his lips, Peter got out of the bed and made his way down the hall. He made sure the light was turned down from high beam to low exposure so that it wouldn't frighten the small child, the room was warm but didn't quite match the baby who owned it; the bed obviously too large for her, he would have to set the crib up at some point for the sake of her security, at least that's what he told himself.

Grace's desk and books were clearly too old for a seven month old, his mind was already trying to imagine what Alicia had in plan for the bedroom, and he was positive that Grace wouldn't mind coming home to her room occupied by somebody else. Grace always wanted a little sister.

"Mu ma mu" Zahara cried, Peter lent over the edge of the bed and slowly lifted her into his arms. She stared at him with curious wet eyes under the dim light, her lips were in a pout and her cheeks were red and soaked with tears. The little hair that she held was now in a mess of curls as a result from the bead of sweat that formed on her forehead during sleep. He watched with shock as her tiny finger grasped onto his chin, there was no doubt in his mind as to why his former wife was so besotted with her, more so when the child yawned and then without hesitation snuggled herself into his chest. Her eyes closed, satisfied with the physical contact she was now provided with seeing as she had spent every night for the past month sleeping with Alicia. He remembered Alicia mentioning it when they were formally introduced, however it was all a blur when he realized then that the child was hers.

He walked back and forth in the room with the child in his arms, taming her into oblivion as he rubbed her back gently. He distinguished from the feel of his fingertips on her head that her hair was naturally straight, just like Alicia's, but under the influence of moisture it was a mess of curls.

He began to place her back on the bed when her grip tightened on his arms and she began to fuss again with pretend whimpers. "Come on kid" he whispered. "I'm tired too you know." he laughed when she responded with a soft cry in protest.

He sighed heavily and shifted himself on the bed, trying with everything he had to avoid disturbing her when he slipped under the blankets and allowed her to spread her arms against his chest, almost as if she was marking her territory just like Zach and Grace did when they were babies.

He played with her curls and stared up at the ceiling, the small child had him wrapped and tied to the ground with chubby cute hands and she knew it. The control he granted himself when Alicia first walked in the door with a child tucked in her shoulder, it had disappeared now and was replaced with fear. Deep fear.


	7. The Gardners

Will

The days of which consuming a few shots of tequila and having an easy avenue for him to think clearly were truly gone before him, he was aware that he shouldn't have taken Cary's advice and celebrated with the team. But it wasn't like he could take it back at this point.

He made his way across the street and back to the office, his ears were buzzing but he was able to walk straight. He smiled at several of his work colleagues and made his way for the office, closing the door, he sighed against his chair and glanced out to where he caught Zach sitting in the conference room, typing on one of the firms laptops, there were a couple of woman hanging beside him, however his attention only seemed to be focused fully on his work. To say that Will was shocked to find that their new finance accountant was Zach Florrick would be a total understatement. Diane had hired him, without Will's consent which caused controversy among other things.

Zach was temporary and considered himself a freelancer, he had every firm to their knees, but refused to participate in any permanent work including Lockhart, Agos and Gardner. He was similar to Kalinda, only less complicated.

The argument that Will had shared with Diane this morning was still vivid in his mind, Will had every right to be upset over the code of conduct that had been breached, Diane explained herself quite sufficiently; exclaiming that if the matter had been brought up earlier, she knew Will would have told her to look otherwise.

He had nothing against the young man, he just knew that there was a line between personal and professional, and he was trying to respect Alicia's family. He was trying to respect her.

However, Diane and Cary didn't understand, and therefore Will was left to deal with it. As if having her son in the only place where he was able to focus wasn't enough of a painful reminder, he had to deal with everything else that came with the struggle of running the largest firm in the country and having a personal life.

Not long after he completed his last set of paper work, the bottle of water that was provided by his assistant now sat empty in the trash can. He sobered the small amount of tequila down his system and felt better about making his way home, but not without stopping to acknowledge Zach's first day.

He stood straight at the class door and took a deep breath for he was nervous enough to feel the sweat bite behind his neck, he remembered the dated promises he and Alicia once talked about, how he would formally meet her children and have a relationship with them. Not once in his lifetime did he ever think this is how it would be, introducing himself officially to her only son as his boss.

Fortunately, there weren't many associates in the area, and they were considered to be the only two in the area.

"Hi Zach," the man in question pulled his gaze away from the computer screen and tensed at the sudden recognition of who stood opposite him. Zach offered a polite smile and nodded, "Mr Gardner"

"Will, please. Call me Will."

Zach smiled and then returned his eyes down to his paper work. So far, nothing was working out and Will suddenly wanted the ground to swallow him.

"How's your first day going?"

"Huh? Oh good," he nodded "Yea really good."

"Not too much hassle from your new co-workers?"

There was a pause before Zach responded, "No, not really. Everyone is quite nice here."

"I'm glad."

"Your finances are in the ground Mr Gardner."

The change of conversation took him off guard. "Excuse me?"

"Last year you spent over a million on renovations, including offices in New York, Houston, and California. You own leases to buildings that you aren't even using, you're sending twenty of your associates to New York for a weekend in the Hampton's?"

"It's for a few clients."

"But twenty? Do you really need to send that amount of lawyers?"

"We have a conference that same weekend in the city. It's important."

"Fine." He wrote something on a piece of paper. "You're planning on opening offices in Philadelphia early next year."

"Yes, once we get our heads around to it…"

"I would hold off on that one. I don't think you can afford it at this point, and even if you could. You'll probably just add more weight onto your shoulders. The firm's income is manageable for the moment, but if you do anything expensive, you'll drive yourself into debt."

" I don't think that's true.."

"No it is. I just had a look at the numbers." Zach smiled at him, it was supposed to be nice, however it didn't seem that way. He definitely had Alicia's attitude, and Will didn't know whether to smile or bury himself into a large hole.

"Well, we should talk more on Monday Zach, it's Friday, and if I talked more on shop I think I'd go insane."

"Yeah sure thing." He smiled, Will nodded and began to make his way for the door, briefcase in hand when Zach called his attention again.

"One last thing, Will?"

"Yes?" he smiled at the young man and walked closer to where he sat, it was the first time Zach had addressed him by his first name.

"The firm donated five _hundred_ _thousand,_ anonymously to my mother's campaign last year. Whose choice was that?"

Will looked as though he were a dear caught among the headlights, waiting to be hit by the force of the third elephant in the room. He stopped, and looked directly at the table, suddenly interested in how the young man had uncovered so much information in one day.

"I.. I don't know what you're talking about."

"I saw the bank-statements, and the signed agreement from both partners. Its okay, I'm not going to tell anyone. I just want to know how you could afford to give half a million to a campaign that doesn't have anything to do with your business."

Will sighed, hopefully for the last time. "We were given funding to use either for our associates or a charity. Our associates have everything they need, therefore we decided to go with the charity idea."

"My mother's campaign is not a charity."

"I know, but we thought it was the best idea."

"Why?"

"Why?" Will repeated, for Zach nodded with quizzed eyebrows.

"Because we support wholeheartedly in what's she's doing."

"Good, that's all I needed. Thanks." The young man turned his gaze back to his papers where he ticked off something.

"Zach, I know you're an adult, and I respect you. But does Alic.. your mom know that you're here."

"Does she know that I work at her old law firm?"

"Yes."

"No, she doesn't. and I don't think it's important right now. She's…. busy." The last word was stretched as Zach's gaze dropped down before he returned back to his work.

Will offered a smile before he left, his mind was running crazy with thoughts, the adrenaline from the alcohol, and the sudden recognition on their finances, plus Zach's face that resembled so much of Alicia, and then there was the mention of Alicia. _Alicia, Alicia, Alicia._ God, everything was of her these days. The universe refused to give him a break.

As he reached the elevator, he caught Diane waiting and joined her to the ground floor.

"So apparently our finances are going downhill."

"Yeep.. I told you."

"We could have gotten someone else to tell us that."

Diane sighed while she closed her eyes. "Will.. we've argued about this already, I'm tired. Zach Florrick is the best in Chicago, I didn't hire him because of our connections, I hired him because he's good. So get over your childish dilemmas, this isn't about you. It's about the firm."

Will raised his eyes, "Sorry Miss grumpy pants."

"It's Mrs." She corrected him, much to his amusement.

"I'll see you Monday?" she said

"Hopefully, if I don't survive tonight." Diane laughed and patted him on the back.

"Say hi to Macey for me." she said, he smiled, knowing that he wasn't nearly as ready to go home and face the wrath of her but had no choice.

"I will."

* * *

 _He was so tired he could feel his body melding into the sheets, Owen's apartment was no longer Owen's apartment, it was Alicia's, the scent of her familiar trail circled the entire place. The furniture had been replaced by Alicia's taste, there was definitely a lot of less whiskey and instead more wine. Owen lived in Ohio at the moment therefore he had no idea of his sisters renovation, and Will was prepared to make a run for it when the time came for the brother and sister confrontation regarding the dramatic change in the owners apartment._

 _The soft feel of her loving fingers trailed patterns up and down his back, his attention needed to be on her, for they hadn't seen each other in a while, but he could barely keep his eyes open. His day was long, filled with a trial that went on forever, followed by having to participate in a deposition in order to support his new junior associate. The thirty minute drive to Owen's apartment was an additional cause to his fatigue. Alicia ran him a bath and joined him, he held her under the warm water, kissed her head while their hands danced in one another's._

 _"_ _You hungry?" she asked, the concern in her eyes was adorable_

 _"_ _no, you?"_

 _"_ _Kind of"_

 _"_ _I'll go make you something." he began to shift off the bed, she grabbed his arm and forced him back down. Smiling softly when she pushed him down on his chest. "How about a massage first?" she whispered._

 _"_ _Hmmm."_

 _He slipped his shirt off, leaving him only in a pair of shorts. She rubbed warm sweet almond oil in her hands and began to apply it to his skin, thick handsome muscles flinching before he began to sink into the bed, his eyes closed and he sighed. He knew that she could sense the tense weight upon his shoulders for she recognised it immediately when he walked in the door. She had been busy too, constant traveling as she also juggled her career while seemingly having to adjust to the fact that her daughter was off to college soon._

 _It was difficult for her, he couldn't even imagine it, he didn't want to imagine it._

 _And yet here she was, comforting him, when it should have been the other way around._

 _"_ _How is it that you're forty six and have the body of a toned twenty one year old?" she asked_

 _'_ _I could ask you the same thing.' He thought, but smiled instead and closed his eyes when her hand reached the base between his shoulder and neck. She stretched the ache there and erased the tense spot before he felt a kiss against his hair._

" _You seem to be getting better."_

 _"_ _Don't stop, please"_

 _She continued with her dance, added more oil, they talked and giggled about stuff they had encountered over the week. He told her about the most embarrassing time of his week which included Diane and Kurt in a car. He had knocked on the window because his frustration over her lateness had reached its peak, he hadn't realized until later on what they were doing._

 _She told him about Eli and his latest obsession over her need for wine at each event they attended, she had only done it to tease him and would never intentionally drink during the day, however that didn't stop her from laughing her head off at his red face. She had hugged Eli and told him that she loved him and would never do anything to jeopardise her fake persona._

 _Will rolled over and looked up at her, the pink blush that went to her cheeks was a sign that his adoration for her hadn't gone unnoticed for she leant down and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. His hands tangled in her hair, she had loose curls due to the moisture from their bath earlier on, she was makeup-free and wore grey mini pyjama shorts with a white tank top. He loved this side of her more than the others, beautiful, free, raw and completely normal. This was only ever seen from a few other people, but was saved for him specifically._

 _"_ _How about popcorn and a movie?" he said, she nodded and smiled._

 _"_ _You pick which one" he pressed a kiss against her forehead and made his way for the kitchen, where he came back with her favourite ice-cream and a boll of buttered pop-corn. Very unhealthy but she had been on a campaign bus for the last week eating rabbit food. He had to excite her working diet somehow._

 _They snuggled in bed, and she skipped past her usual program darkness at noon, knowing that it made her sad because of Grace, he chose some comedy and they ate junk food all night.._

 _That morning, the sunlight that streamed through the blinds disturbed her, her lashes flinched and slowly, her eyes opened to a new day. She had her cheek pressed against Will's back as she spooned him from behind, the laptop from the previous night sat near the corner of the bed. A boll of cake was on the nightstand with melted ice-cream and Will was making cute snoring noises._

 _He heard her whisper in his ear and smiled. "In 3 more months you can take me for a walk outside the river in the morning and we can hold hands."_

* * *

He arrived home and parked in the shed next to his other car that he hadn't driven in more than two years. The house was quiet, no parties, no alcohol, no food. Just quiet. The large lake out the back that viewed onto hundreds of other houses offered him a sense harmony. She always said she wanted a house like this. A house where there was a wine cellar downstairs and a large kitchen that was right next to the living room. A place when he could take her for long walks and hold her hand.

He heard footsteps come downstairs and looked up to see Sara. "Will, you need to get your plumber to fix the drain in the bathroom."

"Hi to you too, sis"

Sara smiled as she wrapped her arms around him, "I have to go home now. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay, thanks, you're a lifesaver."

"No problem. I'll tell Lilly you said hi."

She was out the door in a few seconds, he threw his coat off and undid his tie as he made his way upstairs and towards the bedroom. There, he found the one person who had repaired his life together after he broke Alicia's, and taught him everything about love.

She was lying on her back, her book was on the ground and her eyes were closed. However he knew she was awake, and knowingly jumped on the bed to disturb her.

"Hi baby" he whispered

He watched as a smile creeped upon her lips, her eyelids opened and the eighteen month old looked up at her father. "Hi daddy."


	8. The Mended

The warm water trickled down her back, slid past her bottom and flowed along her glorious long legs towards the base of the tiled floor, the shower head was the best investment she had made. Zahara loved showers, more than she loved the bath, which Alicia always found charmingly surprising over the last 3 months of having Zahara as her own here in her own home.

Three months, had it really been that long since she had brought Zahara home? It felt less and less as the days of living her life to the fullest became the best form of happiness in her life now.

The quick recollection reminded her of why her time in the shower was limited, her daughter's monitor for the moment while she got ready was Zach, but he had made no interval at reminding his mother that he had a flight to catch in an hour. She dressed quickly in a pair of dark blue jeans and a white silk blouse, the top button had been erased by the hands of her toddler some weeks ago, Alicia had made a mental note to buy another one, but it was her favourite shirt. Her cleavage that seemed to perform at inappropriate times was the only reason she began to dislike it.

Alicia took a glance at herself in the mirror, there was no doubt that she looked beautiful, months ago she would have doubted it with extreme insecurity, but as time grew, and she began to develop into someone that she finally felt comfortable with after two years of living in a box, she found herself accepting her inner self-confidence and parading it for the world to see.

The press had even noticed her sudden change, not only in her appearance but her smile, she was always weighed by others that her smile wasn't real enough, or that she didn't think other people were worthy of her generosity; that statement seemed to alter now coming from the tabloids, however now they were complaining about her lack of appearances that came with her husband. There was always a positive that ultimately entertained a negative. The negative being that whatever she said or did was guaranteed to be placed out of context.

She tip-toed her way into the living room, knowingly aware that if she made her presence known Zahara would get distracted from her game with her big brother. Alicia smiled instantly as she heard her daughter's giggles followed by the sight of Zach on the floor with a ten month old in his arms. He was lifting her up and down with his hands, using her as some weights for his arms while he kissed her nose repetitively. Zahara's chubby little body went up and down, her little hands trying to grasp onto Zach's face but failing as she laughed until unconscious tears of joy broke out of her green eyes.

Finally Zach stopped, laughing to himself, she watched as he pressed his lips against her cheek until her chuckles began to calm down. "Who's the prettiest little girl in the world?" he asked.

Zahara tried to talk with a coherent response but she was still struggling with her words, which was absolutely normal for a ten month old.

"That's right." Zach said. "You are."

Alicia couldn't wait for the time where her son would have children, yet she was selfishly torn between wanting to be a grandmother and have her own daughter be in a similar generation as her own grandchildren, or allow Zach to wait for a few more years. She decided long ago that she didn't care, her son was twenty three years old, he was thriving in his happiness and that was more than she could ask for.

"Look who's awake!" she gasped, and smiled when Zahara's big eyes shot up in her direction and she began to jump with excitement. Her arms consciously stretched out to her mother which Alicia dived into her and attacked her with kisses. Lifting her up into the air, she kissed her cheeks and settled her against her hip. "Good morning my darling, I missed you enormously while you slept for nine hours straight! Momma is a lucky one today."

Zach snickered at her words as he sat up and gathered his things, Zahara began to play with the ends of her hair and she took the time to press a gentle kiss against her son's forehead. "Thank you for looking after her while I got ready."

"It's okay. But seriously mom, you have to find a baby-sitter, you can't do everything on your own."

"I'm not on my own, I have your grandmother and your other one and Grace, your father's been a great help too."

"You mean the one who I hardly see and works thirteen hours a day?" he mocked, much to her disappointment. Zach and Peter had gotten more distant over the years, Zach resented him for bringing them into this life and Peter was too stubborn for his own good, the only thing they had in common at the moment was Alicia and Zahara.

"Anyway, like I said, I don't need a sitter. We're just fine on our own aren't we princess?" Zahara nodded with a toy in her mouth, unaware of what Alicia was talking about. "And besides, your sister has just gotten settled into her new home and it takes a while for her to adjust to strangers. I don't want some lady coming in, destroying her and exposing us to the world."

Zach chuckled. "You know how insane you sound right now mom?"

"Not as insane as I look?"

He smiled as he wrapped both arms around her, he kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes. Two decades ago she was picking him up out of his cot and doing the same, it was hard knowing that the roles were suddenly reversed. "You got a new job in Chicago right?" she asked

"Yes, among everything else"

"Why don't you just settle down sweetheart?"

"Mom" he said "Don't worry about me ok?"

"Well at least tell me where you're working? Maybe I know them?"

"No mom.. you don't. I have to go now okay, I'm going to be late. Have fun on travel and promise me you will listen to Steve, especially when it comes to your safety."

"I promise" she mumbled.

"However, when you _do_ decide to hire a sitter, make sure she's married so dad doesn't screw her too."

With that he grabbed his briefcase, kissed Zahara's head and then was out the door before she could even formulate a response.

She looked down at her daughter and saw that Zahara was staring at her with a gaze that owned Alicia's heart completely. Her mood went from shock to joy in seconds, she kissed her nose and held her tight. "Looks like it's just me and you for now sweet pea, you'll have to sort your big brothers behaviour out the next time we see him. Daddy's not going to be very happy with what he just said."

Zahara's only response was her little fingers that grasped onto Alicia's lips, probably her sign of informing her mother that she was hungry while seemingly making it clear that Zach was still her favourite person at the moment, the substance of which Alicia tried so desperately at convincing otherwise was clearly not working.

At first it was difficult for Zach to adjust at having a new sister, he had his speculations, regarding the true intentions behind the adoption. His questions were evidently a stab to the chest for Alicia, just like it would be for any mother, but she knew his heart was in a good place.

Grace was the opposite, which was expected, she knew how much her mother wanted another child, Grace had spent the better half of her summer break travelling with Alicia afterall. Since moving into this world, Alicia had made it a mission to introduce her kids into the real world, into everything that was wrong with society, poverty, rape, abuse, violence, feminism, global warming, the list went on when it came to Alicia's profession.

Peter was the same, with each day that went by, his role in the household changed, he no longer woke up at 6am because he had no choice, he did it because Zahara needed a bottle of milk, or she woke up early, or she simply wanted his attention. It was magnificent seeing the transformation in her ex-husband, they had gotten Eli to arrange a new file for the house to sign, including everyone else who knew of Zahara, a confidentiality agreement that if by any chance anything that went on inside closed doors got out to the public, Peter and Alicia would have the right to sue. It was all for safety measures in keeping Zahara un-exposed for the moment.

The child in question was getting bigger and bigger as the days went on, Alicia and Peter had finally became experts at her special dietary needs, she could digest dairy products easily but it often governed on what it was. Regular milk was definitely a no-go, having a child who was lactose intolerant wasn't the issue, the trouble was having to remind everyone that she wasn't just like anybody else.

"Somebody is very hungry this morning huh?" she exclaimed when her baby girl dug herself into her yoghurt.

Settling her onto her lap, Alicia lifted both legs up on the coffee table as she sat on the sofa with Zahara's small back pressed against her chest, preoccupied with her latest toy Peter had spoiled her with.

Alicia had just gotten comfortable with her daughter tucked in one arm and her laptop in the other when someone made their presence heard with curse words coming from outside the door on the patio.

The door opened revealing Owen on the other side struggling to drag his suitcase through the doorway. He sighed and dropped it next on the floor.

"Hi" he said, breathless

"Hi" she tucked Zahara into her lap when her little body tried to crawl off and bolt for her uncle. "What are you doing here?"

"I missed my niece" he exclaimed. Alicia rolled her eyes with a grin. "How the hell did you get through security?"

"Relax Alicia, those people know me, I've been here for two years."

"What are you actually doing here Owen? Don't you have a job?" Just then he took her daughter from her arms and lifted her up in the air, kissing her and attacking her with love. The amount of attention that her family gave Zahara was more than Alicia ever expected, as if the beauty of her child wasn't enough, her personality was the type that captured anyone's heart. Her eyes. Her exquisitely soft baby skin, golden with a hint of caramel. Alicia had a list of all the beautiful things that came with motherhood at such a late stage.

"I got fired." He blurted out

Her gaze went from her little girl to her crazy brother. "What?!"

He sighed. "Well not fired, I was forced to resign."

"For what?"

"Fraternizing with a colleague."

"Are you fricken serious? Owen what the hell has gotten into you? You're not in your goddamn twenties anymore!"

"Sis you don't need to remind me." He laughed. She watched as he sat down next to her and faced Zahara to him, the ten month old tried to pull his reading glasses off but failed when he distracted her with a bottle of candy behind her ear.

Alicia shook her head and threw her younger brother a glare, "No.. She's just had breakfast."

"Come on Leesh, she can chew it."

Zahara's eyes were already set on it, her gaze went from Owen's to Alicia's and she pouted in that adorable way that brought anybody down to their knees. Alicia laughed, "Okay princess. But only one."

Turning her attention back to her brother, she watched the alluring smile that appeared back on Owen's face as he played with her daughter, the smile he saved for when admiration came into the game or he was just simply falling in-love, in this instance her daughter was the centre of his attention.

Lavished in a sense of whole, she rested her head against his shoulder while she joined in the parade of viewing her little one.

"So what happens now with work? Because honestly Owen, I love you, but I can't allow you to be unemployed for the rest of your life."

"Well I got an offer at Chicago University which Is great but that doesn't start until 2 months from now so it looks like I'm spending all my free time with you and this one."

Alicia tried to hide her disappointment, but failed miserably. "Wow sis, thanks?"

"It's not that Owen. It's just that in a few days I have to go back to work, the team needs me for travel, and I'm taking Zahara with me of course. It's gonna be a long month on the road. You can come if you want but.."

But she knew how much he hated travel, especially when it came to countries that involved settling in the poorest sides of the area. It was far from holiday-material and she wasn't ready to face her brother's wines about the climate in sudan and the heat that once made him faint.

"I'm not gonna sit around here with your husband."

"Then go stay with mom."

"So you're just gonna kick me out?" he teased

"I'm gonna make it easier for you."

"Great, then I'm coming with you." he watched her reaction. "Please Leeeshh" he begged, "I promise, I will be on my best behaviour."

"You're worse than Grace."

He began to pull his poor version of the sad eyes that tried but failed desperately at convincing her that he was innocent. "Fine." She sighed. "But I need your help with something."

"Of course."

"I think… no, I know there's going to be a lot of speculation on who Zahara is. I can't necessarily say that she's my daughter because that will expose her, you know how fast word gets out to the press. And if they find out.."

"It's okay Alicia. Will all just say that I adopted and Ethiopian child that calls you momma. No big deal."

She bursted into laughter and covered her face while she tried to get a grip on herself. Her brother had just come up with the most ridiculously hillarious and intelligent plan of the century.

"Mum mummm mum." The voice in question stretched her arms over at Alicia, crawling over her uncle and into Alicia's lap where she placed the piece of candy up in her face, near Alicia's mouth, a smile curled to her lips as she held onto her baby girl.

"Aww, she's only ten months old and she's already learning to share. There's no doubt Alicia, she's your child"

Alicia smacked him and giggled, "Shut up Owen."

/

The bags were packed and sent for the airport, Zahara was fed and on her way for a nap, Owen had a range of books that would occupy him for the month of traveling. She still had a proposal to write with a pile of records she was scheduled to read for work and a timetable that seemed painfully gruelling.

On top of all of the stress of her day to day life, the cycle of another second presidential term was consuming her being once again, the next election was still a year and a half away, but some ridiculous pop star vs rapper had gone out and announced his candidacy forcing Peter to release a statement. The only core focus that had her in a space of level headedness was Zahara. In so many ways, it was her that constantly brought the both of them back to the ground.

Peter's reluctance in seeing Zahara leave for a whole month didn't go unnoticed either, he wanted her with him, which simply was not going to happen. Maybe that was what cultivated her need to pull back and forth with her job now that she had a much larger responsibility.

"I think at some point we have to start considering having her in a stable environment, you know, where she isn't shifted on travel." Peter was saying where he sat on the edge of the cream white sofa in Zahara's bedroom, a very grumpy, tired little girl on his lap.

"We?" she smirked on her way to where he sat, packing her daughter's travel bag.

"Well we are her parents aren't we?" even though it was feeble, she could hear the slight tone of possessiveness in his voice. His undivided love for the small child did not go unnoticed in any way either, just like every other member of their family. In this case Peter was the only one who hadn't exactly voiced his role in the infant's life. His pride often too large for his head.

"Of course. But you and I both have lives, you have a country to run and a campaign to prepare for, I have traveling commitments and people relying on me. We both have busy lives Peter, and we don't exactly have the time to play mommy and daddy at the moment, so for now she's gonna be with me."

"And I don't have a say in what is best for her?"

"Look" she sighed "I know that this isn't ideal for her, but I didn't plan this Peter. Before starting this campaign I didn't know I was going to adopt an Ethiopian child and bring her back home. But fate happens, and I cant control everything including my emotions. One day, she'll have stability with me, but right now, she deserves the world, and I'm gonna give it to her."

"Do you realize how crazy that sounds?" it would have felt condescending if it weren't for his teasing smile as he stood up, settling Zahara into his side while lifting her bag off the floor.

"I was thinking the other day about the adoption papers…. Legally, she's mine, I signed as a single parent, but if you want me to change that.. I wouldn't mind. She deserves two parents."

She could see that he was trying to process her words followed by a small smile.

"I didn't even think about it up until now but yea… yes, I'd really appreciate that."

"No problem." he pulled back, and grabbed Zahara's coat. "I'll buckle her in the car."

She followed after them quietly, down the stairs onto the ground floor and throughout the corridors,

She watched them from behind, Peter was talking to Zahara and her little girl was pointing up at the ceiling, showing her father how clever she was while simultaneously being cute at the same time.

They reached the cars, Peter buckled her into the dark suv

"Let's go! Let's go, lets go!" Owen made his impatience clear where he sat in the passenger's seat.

Peter did the final straps and pressed one last kiss against Zahara's forehead before he pulled back and found Alicia standing behind him. She pushed herself up on her heals, wearing sneakers made her seem short for a change, though it didn't stop the kiss that went to his cheek, just like she did every time they parted.

"We'll keep in touch. Call me when you land." She nodded and slipped into the car, next to her baby girl who had already passed out into unconsciousness. Alicia lent in to press a kiss against her forehead for she knew the child was asleep, she still spoke. "We're going to have so much fun baby girl, I promise."

* * *

A/N - So this chapter was Alicia based and the next one is Will, the next update wont take long but it will most likely be the last for a while; end of semester is always study crazy. Thanks for the reviews! xx


	9. The Secret

He felt little hands clasp onto his head followed by the sheets ruffling, and came to the abrupt recognition that his child was trying to wake him up. He moaned, Saturday's used to be a sanctuary, now they were filled with diaper changing and baby food, and he wouldn't take any of it back for the world. He stretched his arms and smiled, allowing the one and a half year old to snuggle into him, he wrapped his arms around his baby girl and sighed. His moment of piece was soon disturbed as Macey started to pull out of his grip dragging him off the bed.

"Baby, it's too early."

"Hungry daddy" she rubbed her cheek with one hand and the other with her tummy, along with eyes that he couldn't resist and he chuckled, taking her into his arms and pinning her up to the air, he rubbed her face with kisses and she giggled. She had his eyes, everyone said that.

She had her mother's nose and mouth, she had Will's hair, similar to his Sister Aubrey's only it was more wild with crazy thick brown curls. Throughout all the things he had achieved through life, Macey was the gem that made everything worth the struggle, she was his life now, the last year and a half had been difficult, the custody battle that went on was the easiest part, It was pushing her mother out of their lives that was the most difficult.

"I'm sorry baby, daddy get up soon," he settled her into his side as he made his way downstairs, he had brought the house a little over a year ago, when Macey was six months and barely crawling, his sister Sara had complained about his apartment being too inconvenient for a toddler and therefore his sense of panic over something happening to his little girl forced him to look into real-estate for the first time.

He placed her on the ground, she was able to walk and run on her own accord, which often drove Will insane, for trying to keep a house tidy these days was nearly impossible.

He switched the tv on, Macey usually sat at the table but he had her sit on his lap through the sofa as he read through the paper and slowly drank among his morning coffee routine. His reading classes irritated the bridge of his nose; he had to get that sorted sometime soon amid the ten billion other things he had yet completed on his list. _Call the plumber._

"DADDY LOOK!"

The sound of his daughter's shriek made him jump, he followed her hand that pointed towards the tv screen. "Daddy it's a princess."

Macey loved Disney character's, largely princess based seeing as she was one herself. He smiled and kissed her chubby cheek, "Daddy!" she said when his eyes forgot to take an accurate look at the woman on the screen.

He took his reading glasses off and looked into the screen, it was a princess, a very beautiful princess, however she was an older one in comparison to the characters his daughter obsessed over, she was….. Alicia.

Did his own daughter just call _his_ Alicia a….?

Will looked down at his daughter with shocked brows, she was smiling at the tv and then her hands tried to reach out but failed as Will's grasp tighten for she would have fallen off and face planted the ground. "I want it daddy."

He followed her finger and though he knew he was probably half blind, he was sure his one and a half year old was referring to Alicia's dress that she wore at the white house correspondence dinner just the other night. She was stunning in a silver gown with diamonds covering the base of it. The back of her dress was completely bear leaving spectators to take in the beauty of her flawless back. She had her hair out with curls that heightened the extended length of her hair, it was longer than it ever had been before, and it sheltered portions of skin that was exposed behind her dress; it was probably someone like Eli who was consciously aware of the knowledge that Alicia was showing a bit more skin than usual.

Will looked back down at his daughter, she was staring at the screen with complete awe in her eyes. This wasn't good, this was far from good, this was total disaster.

"Daddy, I have party too?"

"You want a party baby?" she nodded eagerly, she came to stand up on his lap and placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself, he held her with one hand while the other came to brush a messy piece of hair from her face.

"Pease daddy?" she looked at him with deep brown eyes, up until Macey was born, there was only ever one person who could persuade him into doing anything, then again if that person came to his door asking for the world, he would give it to her, but having his own child was different in so many unconceivable ways. He had to learn how to make rules, and though Macey had him tied to the ground with one finger, he was her only constant parent, therefore he had to draw a line in the sand between daddy and dad. In this case however, a party… was better handling now than sometime far in the future, under one condition of course…

"Can I have some cuddles first pease?" he asked

She giggled lightly and wrapped her tiny arms around his neck, he kissed her small shoulders and held her tight, the news anchor in the foreground of his view was talking about Alicia's change in appearance now, the alluring smile that always jammed his heart was extra beautiful and the world was only noticing it now. He pulled back and looked up at his little girl, she was much too young to understand who Alicia was to him and anybody else, and as far as he could tell, she would never know.

"We need to buy balloons and make a cake if you want a party, princess, should we go for a drive?"

She nodded quite adamantly, her smile reached her eyes, their little adventures during the weekends always seemed to excite her, under all matters that were concerned, he always made sure that his priorities and time management skill's lifted directly to his daughter. Diane and Cary understood, he was no longer in control of much when it came to the firm, and he accepted that a while ago; for being the only name partner with a baby to raise was obvious and intensely difficult as a single parent but in theory, he knew that he would give _everything_ over to the devil in order to have his little girl.

* * *

 _Callie was his form of distraction, she was someone who spent the night at his apartment and helped him down his collection of alcohol._

 _It had been a month since Alicia had left and he had destroyed whatever chance they ever had together, the look of pure heartbreak on her face still killed him, it still had him pinned to the ground with guilt and complete anguish with a lasting effect that he was sure would carry on for the rest of his lifetime._

 _Her messages and letters were beginning to slow down, he kept sending them back without examining its content for if he did, a single word from her would take him to DC directly, knock on her doorstep and beg for forgiveness._

 _His gaze rested on Callie, she was lying on her stomach, naked, and asleep. Her hair was all over the place and there was a glass of unsettled vodka on the nightstand. He remembered when she came back to Chicago four years ago and offered herself to Lockhart Gardner as a lawyer, at that point Alicia was still working for him, and having Callie around her was dangerous territory._

 _He was grateful that things had turned out differently, and they took Cary back instead, although what led after that decision wasn't exactly a fairy-tale either._

 _The apartment reeked with alcohol and something else, he couldn't be bothered with the job of cleaning it, Alicia always liked a tidy place, however she wasn't here anymore to tell him off and therefore he could live wild for just a bit more whilst she lived the high life in the white house._

 _He imagined her dinners; the ones of which the press had documented over the last month, the inauguration day was huge for America, nobody but him noticed the way her eyes were pink when she removed her sunglasses, she had been crying, obviously, because of him._

 _Nobody but Will noticed the way she held onto Peter's hand as if her life depended on his firm hold, nobody saw the way her legs trembled and her smile wasn't as beautiful as It appeared to be. It hurt, that's why he couldn't watch anymore of it and threw the remote in the trash can._

 _Will sighed for the morning, grabbed his briefcase, left Callie on the bed and made his way for the office. As soon as he walked in, he was ambushed by Diane. "Will, we need to talk."_

 _"_ _Not now Diane."_

 _"_ _Will, talk to me" she pleaded_

 _"_ _No"_

 _"_ _Fine!" she walked into his office anyway and slammed the door shut, leaving outsiders to spectate on what was going on. She folded her arms, he sat against his chair, rested his head against it and closed his eyes._

 _"_ _We are meeting with Cary this afternoon,"_

 _"_ _Why?"_

 _"_ _Because he wants to discuss a possible merger."_

 _"_ _And why are we even meeting with him?"_

 _"_ _Because it's a good idea."_

 _He opened his eyes and looked at her, "Are you serious?"_

 _"_ _Will, things are falling apart, you're not in the game, you need to do something… go somewhere. Merging with Agos and Associates is not a bad idea. Cary needs more hands, ever since Alicia left, he's been struggling to maintain anything."_

 _At the mention of her name, his gaze dropped from hers to the ground and he suddenly felt numb again._

 _"_ _Look, Meet us at the restaurant across from the courthouse at one. Please do this, for me."_

 _With that she left, and he watched her walk back to her office. Wishing Diane would prove herself to be just as extraordinary as people thought, he wanted her to call Alicia and tell her to come back to where she belonged. He knew Diane would never do it, nor would he ever ask her to, but absurd thoughts were beginning to enter his mind and this was stage three of destruction._

 _He walked into the restaurant and spotted Cary immediately, the man smiled at him, Will nodded and slid into the chair opposite._

 _"_ _I was hoping you would bring Diane with you, I think she's still in court."_

 _"_ _Yeah, probably, she's handling a trial."_

 _"_ _Well, I guess we'll just wait." The tension in the area wasn't as big for Will to care, his eyes settled on Cary for a bit longer, hoping to read his mind. Cary looked at him with suspicion, and Will knew that he was testing the element of which Will's guise was a horrifying sight;Will hadn't shaved in weeks, his eyes were tired, and his tie was stained. Will still didn't care_

 _A text message flashed across Will's phone,_

 _'_ _Diane_

 _Tell Cary I'm sorry, gonna have to cancel, judge wants to carry on for another couple of hours.'_

 _"_ _You've gotta be kidding me" Will muttered under his breath_

 _"_ _She can't make it?"_

 _"_ _No. she got held up."_

 _Just then, the waitress placed their selected coffee cups on the table, they decided to loath in each other's presence for a bit longer, out of fault._

 _"_ _So have you heard from Alicia?" Cary said, probably trying to come up with any linked topic between them_

 _"_ _No.. You?"_

 _"_ _Yea, we've been talking."_

 _"_ _Really?"_

 _"_ _Yep."_

 _"_ _How is she?" Will couldn't stop himself_

 _He watched as the younger man let his gaze rest on the table, his brows tied and then he looked back up at Will. "I don't know" he answered honestly. "There's… she called me about a week after the 'big move'. She said she was coming back, she wasn't happy, she missed her old life." Cary shook his head. "I don't know, she sounded off you know? I was worried about her, she wouldn't explain a thing to me, even when I went to visit her."_

 _"_ _You went to visit her?"_

 _Cary nodded, he looked uncomfortable. "She was… she wasn't good man, I had to see her anyway because she had to sign some papers. We had lunch in the dining room, she just looked so unsettled. We went for a walk, I tried to get her to talk to me but she just kept saying she wasn't happy. Something's going on over there."_

 _The concern in Cary's eyes made Will's dislike for him lessen just a tiny bit. "Do you think…. No nevermind."_

 _"_ _What?" Will's brows perked. "It's ok, say it"_

 _"_ _Do you think Peter's doing something to her, like you know?"_

 _"_ _What? Abusing her?"_

 _"_ _Yea? Maybe psychologically or physically?"_

 _"_ _No, no! Peter would never… look I know that guy is many things, but he'd never do anything to her."_

 _"_ _Well then what is it? Because she refuses to say a word."_

 _"_ _Cary honestly… I can't say. It's something to do with us, it's complicated." Recognition formed in Cary's eyes before his shoulders relaxed._

 _"_ _Oh" he said._

 _"_ _Yea"_

 _"_ _That was… are you sure?"_

 _"_ _Yes.." hopefully it wasn't anything more and the thoughts in Cary's head were just that. " we had a fight.. it's, I can't explain much.."_

 _"_ _I just wanna know that she's going to be okay."_

 _"_ _She's gonna be okay."_

 _"_ _Good, I'm going to see her again in a few days anyway. She's invited me to some lunch or something."_

 _Will's eyes lifted to face him directly, he nodded slowly, gradually accepting the fact that Cary would always be an integral part to her life, for he no longer was and he began to accept that._

 _"_ _She can never know that we're thinking about merging."_

 _"_ _Why?" Cary asked_

 _"_ _Just don't tell her, it'll ruin her right now."_

 _/_

 _He dropped his briefcase on the kitchen counter and sighed heavily, his apartment was unexpectedly clean, he knew Callie was still here as her shoes remained in the entryway even after he told her repeatedly to move them. He was surprised to see that the liquor wasn't out and that there weren't traces of meth on the kitchen counter; she was back on drugs._

 _He made his way down the hall, reaching the bedroom, he saw her blanked expression as she sat on the leather chair in the corner of the room._

 _"_ _What is it?"_

 _He watched as she took in a deep breath and closed her eyes, "I think I'm pregnant."_

* * *

"I swear you spoil them too much." Sara joined him In the kitchen where he stood arranging the dirty dishes. He looked over his shoulder just in time to catch Lilly putting cake in Macey's mouth. Macey smiled over at him, the one and a half year old had chocolate on her teeth and he couldn't help but laugh.

"They're allowed to be spoilt."

"I can't wait to watch her grow up and drive you up the wall."

"Yea, please don't remind me."

"You still got a while to go little bro" she ran a hand through his hair, he snickered before pulling away, he took a plate of food into the living room. "Okay. Who's ready for some broccoli and carrots?"

Macey looked up at him, her eyes shot up, she dropped her toy and ran straight out of the room, her little legs took her as far as the closet. He smiled the entire time on his direction to her hiding spot, bending down, he slowly opened the door and found her sitting in the dark corner behind some old coats. "Princess? Come on"

She shook her head, "No daddy, I don't wannna eat tat"

She looked at the bowl as if it were her worst enemy.

"Stop being cute and give me cuddles"

He watched as she pouted, her head was down, she looked up at him then her eyes quickly dropped to the ground before she begrudgingly sunk her little body into his arms. He laughed and kissed her hair, knowing that soon he would be the target of a tantrum, he couldn't love her any less even if he tried.

/

Will made his way into the office, Monday mornings usually involved him being late with a hint of pancake stain on his shirt, today was different. Everything went surprisingly smooth, Macey slept in his bed last night just like she did every night; he really needed to work on that.

She remained unconscious till eight where he had to wake her up, totally uncommon when it came to his daughter. She occupied herself by eating cereal and a banana whilst he made her lunch. She didn't say much, and he hoped by the end of the day, preschool would be enough to wear her out for the rest of the evening.

He smiled at his assistant, she handed him some papers and mentioned that Diane needed his presence in her office. He dropped his belongings on his desk, grabbed one of his baseballs and threw it up and down with one hand. "So I was thinking, since I won that class action last week, you give me a break from depo's today?" he teased as he made his way into her office, dropping the ball on the ground, he relaxed against the chair and lifted his feet onto her desk. She pushed it off in one swift movement with her hand, removed her glasses and folded her arms as she mimicked his position.

"You look wonderful today Diane, is that a new haircut?"

She laughed and shook her head. "Shut up. We need to talk."

He sighed and flew his head back like an immature teenager. "What did I do now?"

"Nothing" she grinned. She stood up and closed the door, making her way back, she sat down and handed him a folder.

"Grace Cavanaugh is looking for an internship here in Chicago, apparently she's already been asked, but she's turned both firms down. She's looking for a two month contract, and she's also looking for a firm who values her privacy. I think we'd be perfect don't you think?"

Will's brows were tied in confusion, "Grace Cavanaugh?" Who the hell was that?

"Grace Florrick" she rolled her eyes. "God Will, are you living under a rock?"

"Oh.. no" he said. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!" he repeated, he stood up and walked around her office.

"Will.."

"Are you planning on investing in the Florrick's Diane? I mean, first Zach, and then now the daughter?"

"Keep. Your. Voice. Down. People can hear you"

"I said it before and I'm saying it now. No."

She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. "Why? Tell me why, give me one good reason why we shouldn't do it."

"When Alicia worked for us as an associate, there was a reason she separated her personal life from her professional life." And now that he had his own child, he could relate to it.

"That was because they were kids, they are no longer kids. They are adults, and they are wanting to join the industry, they want to come here. Zach Florrick turned down five job offers and accepted our one, do you think that was pure coincidence? They trust us because of their connections, why not let them in?"

"They don't trust _us._ They trust Cary, because they know him, they don't know us Diane. We honestly can't afford to get ourselves involved in this political game."

"Political game?" she looked shocked, the renowned metaphor clearly didn't communicate to her in the same way he understood it.

"Sometimes I think that you can't separate Alicia from your profession."

"Don't"

"That dinner at the white house that we are invited to in five weeks? Are you gonna be there or do I have to make other plans?"

"I haven't decided whether I want to go to that yet."

"I don't know what the hell you're trying to achieve with this Will, but I think you need to get over it. I just handed you Grace Cavanaugh's resume, take a look. You might be surprised."

"Will?" she said when he headed for the door, he turned back in time to see that her glasses were back on.

"I know you and Cary tend to think that my office is a football field, I think the intentional frustration you bring on me is getting old right about now."

Her gaze pointed directly towards his baseball that had rolled into the corner. Their laughter echoed the room and he shook his head.

"How's Macey?" she asked, from where he stood, she could see the familiar eyes that glistened with pride and joy.

"She's a perfect chubby little monster."


	10. The Sister

I owe a special beta for fixing this chapter when I didn't have the time to. Welcome new followers! xx

* * *

Celebrating ones birthday on a plane wasn't exactly ideal but she didn't mind. She was glad to be out of asia and finally heading for Africa where they would get to spend some quality time in the city where Zahara was born. The candle on her cake marked 48, oddly enough she felt ten years younger, and she wondered if it had anything to do with the little girl who had stolen her heart less than four months ago.

She hugged Zahara from behind as the little girl sat on her mother's lap in front of the chocolate cake. Alicia rested her chin on her little shoulder, "you gotta help me blow the candles out sweet pea."

Zahara jumped up and down in excitement while everyone sung happy birthday and cheered in celebration. Marissa had a camera pointed in their directed and coaxed Owen into joining Alicia's side, Marissa managed to catch them laughing at each other. The next photo was of Zahara and Alicia, she had both arms wrapped around her little girl, squeezing her tight with cuddles that had Zahara giggling uncontrollably.

They stopped in Kenya for the night, afterwards they would fly to Ethiopia which wasn't far but foreign policy and anxiety got the best of people like Eli Gold and the secret service. She was beginning to acknowledge that being mindful of her surroundings was important now that she had another human being to take care of.

Zahara tucked herself further into Alicia's shoulder as she whimpered, she was tired and spent the better half of the journey distressed, traveling did prove to be a major hurdle for the two of them, her daughter wasn't adjusting to it as kindly as she had originally planned, so far time and patience was her only chance at making it work.

"I know honey, mommy's just about there sweetheart." She cooed softly, rubbing her back in soft patterns.

A house in the outskirts near the most rural and safe side of Kenya was awaiting their arrival, Alicia hoped with sufficiency that the common greeting she often received wouldn't last long. She concealed her little girl in her arms as they entered the gate and eventually in front of the house. Brick, antique walls with vines that grew across hard texture was the sight that featured. She had stayed here once with Peter, the large house was concealed for executives involved in politics, royalty, and high profile individuals who were looking for privacy.

They were greeted with a man and a woman at the foot of the doorstep, the sun in kenya was just setting, and they were all expected to participate in dinner. Alicia politely declined while Owen jumped at the chance of food, making her way upstairs, she noted the young man from before stare at her daughter with an odd expression and she motioned for Steve. "Come with us please?"

She gestured, more for Zahara's security then anybody else's. He nodded and followed suit. The other two agents set her bags in her private room, they left while she changed Zahara's diaper and pressed a warm cloth against her face, the child was still reluctant in freeing her tight grasp from her mother, so Alicia reserved her special place in her arms.

Steve took his time in adjusting the windows, checking the locks, and examining the bathroom before making himself present again.

"All clear Mrs Florrick."

"Good. You'll be in the room across from us?"

"What about Mr Cavanaugh?"

"Owen can sleep in the next room. I'll feel safer knowing you're closer. You're more mindful."

"Since when did you become prone to safety Mrs Florrick?" he teased.

"Since I began to take in all your shit talk on the plane this morning." She answered, he laughed to himself as he exited the room. She carefully placed her baby girl on the bed and rested her weight on her elbow as she took in the perfect complexion of her child, the golden skin that seemed to grow more stunning as the days went by, her lashes incredibly long with brows that were designed by god. Her hair was tied in a bun above her head – Owen's fantastic assembly, and her silk pink pyjamas fitted her little body like a doll made for precious hands and unconditional love, this definitely not going unnoticed by herself or anyone in the family.

Just as her eyes began to drift shut and her mind finally began to close, she heard the familiar sound of her phone vibrating in the pocket of her bag. She squirmed to the floor, knowing who it was, she answered in hushed tones, afraid that she may wake Zahara.

"Peter?"

"Hey" she heard his soft voice from the other line. "Just checking in to see that you're okay."

"I'm fine."

"Zahara?"

"She's… good." She glanced behind her shoulder, a grin tugging to her lips this time. "She's perfect and completely knocked out. She could barely keep her eyes open when we got here."

"And the housekeepers?"

"I'm guessing they're a bit surprised to find that we have another guest but I don't care anymore. I'm sick of lying."

"I know." he said, offering no ultimatum's in the situation. As an awkward pause found its way into familiar territory. Peter jumped straight to conclusion.

"So, um. Your mom dropped in today."

"What?"

"Yea" he sounded just as surprised as she was.

"She visited? I didn't even know she was in town?"

"She told me to get her a plane and send her to wherever you are. I thought I would call you first."

"She did what?"

"She wants to see you and Owen. Zahara too of course…"

"Does she know that you have a country to run? And that I actually have a job?"

"Alicia don't be like that okay, she's your mother."

Was he _actually_ conditioning her on her relationship with her mother? Anger at her former husband found its way into known territory as well, and just before she could retort, he added;

"I think something's going on with her."

The unknown ball of fear behind her throat made itself known as she swallowed the thick lump of concern. "I don't think it's anything to do with her health." Peter reassured. "She just seemed off."

"Have her on a flight by tomorrow please."

"I'll have my secretary arrange it."

"Send one of the agents with her as well, people are unpredictable these days, some stranger tried to attack Owen the other day." She explained

"She won't need one."

"Excuse me?"

"I'll have Eric go with her."

"Good." She felt a coy smile developing inside her head.

"I have a national security briefing to attend and breakfast to eat."

"Ok, I'll let you go then."

"Give the little trouble maker a kiss from me?"

"And me?"

"And a kiss for you too." she could feel his smile from the other line. They both said their goodnights plus the good morning that never went overlooked on her part and hung up. In another life she would have considered their conversation to be extremely strange or at least in any element awkward. It was a long time before she became at all reconciled with the idea that her and Peter were growing closer.

* * *

There was a knowing feeling that grew within her when she felt her mother enter the hotel suite, by now they were in Ethiopia, settled in the common area of the hotel, Steve had left for the airport to collect Veronica while Zahara sat on the ground occupied by her uncle and her toys.

She stood up and made her way for the door that opened, revealing the seventy year old in sunglasses, a blouse and jeans with her handbag.

She smiled instantly at her, Alicia buried her in a hug.

"Hi mom." Alicia was close to asking her mother how she was when Veronica pulled back and ran for the little girl in the corner who had her arms up, her laughter echoed the room for the older woman lifted her up in the air and attacked her with kisses.

* * *

 _"And he sailed back over a year, and in and out of weeks, and through a day, and into the night of his very own room, where he found his supper waiting for him.._

 _And it was still hot."_

As she neared the finale of the children's book, she looked down at Zahara to see her small hands spread above her pillow with her eyes fully closed and most likely in another world. Alicia placed the book where Veronica sat near the edge of the bed.

It was more odd than difficult having to adjust back into the world of being mommy again. Preparing milk bottles instead of wine, changing diapers instead of doing paperwork, reading night time stories instead of books on foreign nations and religious protocols. Thank lord Zahara was yet to be in the stage of asking her mother to read _Where the wild things are_ , twice, and beg for another reading. Coming from experience, Alicia learnt that it was impossible to refuse her children with bedtime stories.

"She's really clever." The older woman said when they exited the room, their direction headed for her mother's en-suite. "I didn't think she would recognise me, it's been so long."

"I didn't either, but she's beyond anything I ever imagined."

Alicia began to assist in unpacking her bags, she tensed immediately when finding that her clothes were very minimal, which ultimately meant that her mother wasn't planning on staying for long and though she appreciated her presence, she disliked that even though her health had somewhat deteriorated over the years, she was still the same.

"Zahara would probably get used to you a bit more if you spent more time with her."

"I would but I've just been so busy lately."

"Planning your fourth wedding?"

"Alicia, I would really appreciate it if you and Peter came, I know you're very busy but this is important to me."

Alicia smiled to herself. "So that's why you're here."

"No, I'm here because I recently found out some very disturbing news, I needed you and Owen to be in the same city so we could talk about it as a family."

Alicia felt her heart drop to the ground, and her gaze instantly fixed with concern, the older woman shook her head and waved the mad idea out of mind.

"It has nothing to do with me, I'm healthy and perfect." Alicia didn't look too convinced. "Why don't we finish unpacking my things and meet down the main floor, hopefully your brother has finished flirting with the house manager."

* * *

Owen and Alicia sat on the sofa situated in the lounge, there was a buffet of food in the corner that Alicia hadn't touched, even though her starved tummy had been repeating its impatience for the last hour. Veronica stood pouring herself glasses and glasses of wine, not a positive sign at this point.

"Mom. Come on, sit down." She got up and began to remove the alcohol, her mother placed a hand on her arm and pushed her back down.

"Your father loved you both very much, you know that?"

"Yes. Mom god, I feel like I'm in preschool again. What is this about?" Owen was just as impatient as she was.

Her mother began to pace, and though Alicia was vaguely annoyed, she sensed immediately that this wasn't just any ordinary family orientation. "When the both of you were in middle school; it was such a long time ago it makes me feel ancient. He and I weren't in the greatest place regarding our marriage."

"We know.. that, jesus"

"I think you both deserve to know the truth."

"What truth?"

"He was having an affair. He _had_ an affair I mean, her name was Rebecca, does the name ring a bell?"

"Dad was having an affair?" The first lady's eyes that glistened with tears told the both of them that the forty eight year old wasn't as self-aware and intelligent as the tabloids seemed to make her.

"Yes. For twenty years. Up until he passed away actually."

"Oh my god" she covered her face with her hands and rested her elbows on parted knees.

Owen looked up at his mother with confused brows

"It gets worse, this woman, Rebecca, she called me last week. She's dying, she has cancer, she told me everything, and I went to go see her." Her mother sat near the coffee table and placed a photograph in front of them. An older woman centred the image, she was around about the same age as Veronica, only her eyes were a striking shade of blue and her hair was blonde. There wasn't a doubt in why her father would go for her, however Alicia in her shade of pride and stubbornness, refused to have anything to do with the woman at this point.

"What does she want? Money? Her share in the inheritance?" Owen snickered

"No" there was a long pause and outside the bubble of agony that had been created in the last five minutes. Alicia sensed a storm approaching by the shallow touch of tears that formed in her mother's disappointed guise.

"I found out that she has a daughter, blood tests were done, and.."

"Mom?" Alicia stood up, watched as her mother took a deep breath

"You have a sister."

* * *

Grace's first week at Lockhart Agos and Gardner had travelled by rather smoothly, she was extraordinarily intelligent and confident in every aspect, but she was also stubborn, just like her mother. The resemblance in their personalities was uncanny, the only difference was that Grace was open and Alicia had always been closed off.

Zach Florrick and his sister only made conversation with other associates when it was professionally necessary while at work and stuck to each other like glue, the pair weren't at all interested in making friends which other's found as resource for gossip. They were polite, kind and pleasant in ways that convinced him that they weren't only her children, but they had inherited the soft side of Alicia's loving character which was not at all surprising; they had been through things that would usually take young adults a while to adjust to.

Will found himself pressing further into his heal to rid himself of the constant pain he was feeling having Alicia's kids around him for the most part of his working days. It had been 2 years and five months since election night, but the distressing picture of her tears was still so vivid, even though he had said his apologies five months ago, it was difficult knowing that she was a country away risking her life while her kids were under his wing.

And though Macey was another reminder of why he should be home, she was spending the night with Will's mother, he had planned on meeting his sister Sara for dinner but she was running late, and for he sat in a restaurant alone, the familiar feeling of being the target of many woman's stares settled inside him once again. There was a blonde in the corner who sat with a bottle of merlot red wine – it was one of Alicia's favourites.

The woman was staring at him with a coy smile as she looked over him hungrily. There was another one too, sitting across the far edge of the restaurant. He sighed heavily and rested his head backwards, so far, his sister's absence was causing nothing but trouble – he knew this would happen.

"Hey is that Will?" he heard the familiar voice come from behind him

"Oh yea, I think it is."

"Maybe we should?"

"No Grace.."

"Mr Gardner!"

It was a long time before he became united with the idea that the woman calling his name was one of the many people he had grown tired of in his law firm. He turned to face them, and smiled graciously out of politeness.

"Zach… Grace, Hi." It wasn't that he disliked them, he could grow to love them if he wanted to, he just couldn't handle it anymore; Alicia was everywhere, tv, magazines, th papers, and now her kids were working directly with him and their response to working among their mother's ex-lover wasn't at all accurate to his rude behaviour lately, they were actually astonishingly lovely in reality.

"We're just getting dinner, would you like to join us?"

"Grace I don't think he.." Zach said, Grace waved a hand in his face, the action portrayed their relationship in context. Grace had obviously grown up with the upper hand when it came to her brother, they were both opposite characters; Zach was quiet and respectful whereas with Grace she was a full time party.

"Are you waiting for someone Mr Gardner?"

"I'm waiting for my sister actually but it looks like she's taking her time"

"Great. Then you can sit with us." She patted the seat next to her. He took in a deep breath, preparing himself for the downfall, he couldn't bare the idea of hurting her feelings – he had done it to enough Cavanaugh's to last a lifetime. And just as he began to bid an excuse, she added.

"I won't take no for an answer." Her eyes were dead serious with a hint of something else, it was scary how much Grace resembled to her mother, the strangeness of actually having it in proximity was oddly relenting, a sense of sympathy, for the two young adults reminded him just how much he was smitten over a woman he could never have.

"I don't want to intrude."

"You are not intruding on anything, we would like to have a guest." Seeing as they had no other reliable ones in this town. "Right Zach?.." she nudged him in the elbow.

"Right." He offered a rather kind smile, advanced towards his sister's desire to make friends in Chicago, Zach gestured for him to join them.

Will felt his inner lungs releasing in defeat, he stood and made his way to the table.

The conversation between three was soothing, even though they were a completely different generation, they were beyond his years, and they were mature enough to understand his perspective on the world. He disliked the living of politics, which Zach and Grace seemed to share. They talked on baseball - Grace wasn't at all interested. They talked about overseas travels, Will told them about his trip to the UK back in his late twenties. Zach and Grace talked marvellously on southern Europe and their time in Africa and Asia with their mother. Alicia's name only popped into the conversation twice, they referred to her as mom _– obviously –_ though it was still odd for him being an outsider.

The food was delicious and the wine wasn't too savvy, Grace had a class of white, she said red was her mothers and white was hers. " _It's our thing"._ She explained to which Zach rolled his eyes and Will laughed.

"So I've told you both every embarrassing thing I've ever done, now it's your turn. Why did you choose to move back to Chicago?"

Grace looked over at Zach who answered first "After I graduated, I worked in DC for a bit but I hated it. Chicago's my home, and just because my parents are my parents, doesn't mean I have to live under the radar as well. I want to live a normal life as much as possible, while being free to do whatever I want; that's why I didn't sell myself under a contract in your firm, its better being your own boss."

"I've never known what that feels like."

"Really?" Grace was surprised "But you are the boss."

"Yes. But that doesn't mean I have control over everything. Trust me Grace, being partner isn't all that it's cut out to be, sometimes having less power is better in order to have some sort of content lifestyle."

"Content lifestyle" she repeated to herself. "What is that?" The three of them chuckled under breath.

"So Grace, why did you move back?"

She looked up at him and suddenly her expression changed from elated to uncomfortable. "I needed a 2 month internship at a law firm, so I came here, after this, I will go back to DC for graduation. I was supposed to stay in Washington and complete a short internship there but.. it's too complicated. My mom got me into a firm with one of her friends, but I wanted to get it on my own. So I packed up and I left."

With the sudden knowledge of where they had found themselves, Will tried to comprehend what she meant. "Grace… does your mom know that you're here?"

"She knows that I'm in Chicago, she doesn't know that we are working at her old firm."

"We?"

"Yes"

"You never told her?"

"I didn't want to upset her." Zach explained, the table unconsciously went quiet. "She's really happy at the moment, she hasn't been happy in a long time."

"Yea, and I mean – she's busy." Grace said

"Playing mommy." Zach's response was barely a mumble but Will 'heard it. His comment had Will's brows creasing up with puzzlement and before he could say anything he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Will? You started without me?" Sara looked down at him with a grin, her gaze instantly moved to the two young adults

"Sara you're an hour late."

"No, I said meet at seven."

"You said meet at six"

"No I said seven!" she raised her voice and he shook his head in frustration

"You must be Mr Gardner's sister." Grace stood up and lifted a hand out to Sara, she shook it and looked at the younger woman with an odd expression.

"This is Zach and Grace, they work with me at the firm." He explained,

"Ahh, right. Why is it that I instantly feel bad for you having my idiot brother as a boss?"

Will opened his mouth but Grace was the first as she laughed and gestured towards the seat. "Sit down with us, please. Will was just telling us about high school, seventh form."

"He isn't intentionally trying to destroy your sanity right?"

"I hope not" Zach teased. "However it does feel that way." Grace added. The four adults laughed loudly, his guarded character seemed to have disappeared, being with two young ambitious leaders, he came to the sudden recognition that being liberal-minded wasn't necessarily a bad thing afterall.


	11. The White House

The flight home was exhausting and long, it was no secret that she was tired, the last two weeks had been a painful endurance, ever since the revelation of the bomb that their mother had dropped, Owen and Alicia had turned rather silent and remained like that for the rest of the journey.

Her little girl was the symbol that kept her in line, Zahara through their connection could sense that her mother was sad and often cheered her up which without a doubt worked successfully.

It was Owen that she was mainly worried about, he had burnt all the photos he had with their father and resented him for the unforgiving lie that had been brought down upon the family. He had even gone to lengths of calling Peter and asking for a few favours.

Thank god Peter was naïve and busy enough to ignore his former brother in-laws orders, though questions were raised and curiosity had gotten the better of him.

So far, other than the country that she still half led, and the small human who had stolen her heart; Alicia's entire world had fallen apart, after all, this type of revelation was something that she would expect to have actioned by her mother, but her father?

Her father was a man who stood in between right and wrong, his morals and intentions had always been correct, he was an honourable man who loved and adored herself and her sibling, he was perfect, and yet in between all of that, he had managed to have himself a mistress, while simultaneously including a secret child that nobody else knew about until now. Twenty years after his death.

"I'm so tired" Owen said, his head was against the seat in the plane, the coach was dark and dimly lit, the majority of their team were asleep, Zahara remained in her arms – unconscious and perfect and she pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. "We have a few more hours before we land in DC, you should get some rest." She said

"You haven't slept all day, are you feeling good?"

"I just can't sleep. I'll be fine once we get home."

She returned back to her slumber of inactivity and allowed her mind to take over once again, pressing her daughter further into her chest;

In a way, she was no different than her father in reality, she had adopted Zahara four months ago and had gone under every length to make sure that nobody knew of her, she was the secret that could either make or break her reputation among humanity. But what could be more awful than having a parent who chose conviction over certainty? Who preferred their own pride over honesty?

Alicia winced at the idea of having Zahara away from light for the rest of her life, giving her no chance at honouring her identity and accepting her chosen family with love and respect. Alicia refused to make the same mistake as her father, and she completely despised the idea of her child feeling like this in a decade's time, the direction of this revelation had suddenly taken a vast turn in Alicia Florrick's life.

"What are you gonna do Alicia?" Owen looked at her with concern – he read her mind.

"Nothing" she said, kissing her child's head again and closing her eyes briefly. "Don't worry Owen."

/

She waited for Peter to finish in the office before she crashed to the bed, she was exhausted beyond words, and she knew he could see by the way he took Zahara off her arms and offered to take care of bath time.

Her lashes fluttered open in the dark room and her gaze instantly settled on the clock on the nightstand. 8:30pm, it marked, she had been asleep for two hours. Outside was pitch back and DC was unusually quiet on a Sunday night. They had arrived midday, though it felt as if it were a decade ago.

She pressed a button on one of the remotes, one of the curtains opened immediately, allowing available light from outside the balcony and into the room. There was a knock on the door followed by a familiar voice calling her name. She kept her eyes closed with her ear pressed to the pillow. "Come in"

"Hi Alicia" Eli said gently, careful not to disturb her, but clearly wanting something.

"Hey" she mumbled

He sat on the chair next to the bed and rested his elbows on his knees, he looked down. "Your mom told me about what happened, I'm so sorry."

"It's disgusting right?"

He remained quiet.

She ran a hand through her messy hair and dug herself deeper into the covers. "I know you've just come back from a very long trip but we need to talk about the possibility of this becoming news. First lady finds out that she has a half-sister. This woman could be exposed, or worse, followed.'

"That's not necessary. It won't happen because I'm not meeting her."

There was a longer moment of silence before he spoke. "You're.. not?"

"No." she said strictly "I don't want anything to do with her."

"Oh" it was in rare moments like these where Eli Gold was the target of speechlessness that ultimately always had her questioning her bluntness.

"Okay." He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and pulled back.

"Back to business. There's the dinner that the house is hosting Friday night. The one where we honour the most successful businesses that have had a positive effect on the econom..."

"Yes I know, I'll be there."

"Yes.. I just feel as though it's fair to warn you that Lockhart Agos and Gardner are invited." She closed her eyes. Her earnest desire to have her life wash away at this point was quickly removed from thought when a knock to the wall came from the doorway and Peter walked in with their child in his arms. Zahara was a ball of cuteness in her silk purple pyjamas with her tired eyes, she had done so _so_ well on the travel from Africa to the states; for the eleven month old had made it clear to every member of their travel team that being rendered into this type of lifestyle was not her choice, changes had to be made rather prudently and Alicia had to sacrifice some months from her busy schedule in order to provide the steady routine Peter had talked of a month ago, and having her in the room now reminded her why she needed to get out of the depression that was slowly creeping up again.

"She was asking for you"

Alicia opened warm arms and allowed her little girl into her chest, "Anyway" Eli changed the subject. "How was the trip?"

"Intense" she answered. "Busy. We went from village to village, we stopped at hospitals and children's facilities more than usual, some of the conditions are horrendous; I had our auditor go over the budget for renovations, also I met up with some investors, their intentions seem pretty reliable, however donating a large amount of money was completely unexpected."

"They probably have an agenda"

"Yea, I'll go over it in the morning."

"So how was Zahara on the road?" Peter came to the bed, offering his hand on holding the heavy child but accepting when Alicia silently shook her head. Already, there was competition between which parent needed her the most.

"She was perfect, as always" she smiled down at her, "Right sweet girl?"

Zahara shrugged and snuggled further into her arms, she was tired and only slightly grumpy, she fluttered her lashes and her breathing began to slow down as she pressed her cheek against the soft skin of Alicia's chest.

Eli left the room and so did Peter.

* * *

The week travelled at a slow pace, Alicia obliged to the relaxed atmosphere with gratitude. She had spontaneously taken Zahara out to lunch with a friend from LA the previous evening, and the cameras had managed to capture all of it. Eli had received several calls from his posy of reporters asking for a statement in whether the rumors of an adoption were true, and thus some of her staff were experiencing the familiarity of panic, only it was coming from the other side. She, in fact, was extremely calm.

Zahara was beginning to walk, she was able to stand on both feet but could only make it a few inches before someone caught her. The child's first birthday was in a month, and Alicia had already made the arrangements, including the difficult task of going through Eli to clear Peter's schedule for a day and have Zahara christened in Ethiopia.

The dinner was only a few hours away, the strangeness of knowing that Will would be in proximity was overwhelming, but she didn't have the time to think too much into it, Zahara had tethered herself to a cold over the last couple of days, and when called into action, she would have sacrificed every better feeling to have her toddler feel better again.

Zahara was restless as she slept on the sofa, the doctor had just been in for the second time today, checking her temperature which seemed to have calmed down over the last couple of hours. The guilt she felt in leaving her child was undoubtedly an ache to the chest, but Nancy, the house keeper and sitter for the chosen time was more than willing to take care of her; an angel sent down from god, she was sure of it.

"Alicia you have a half an hour before that dinner. Why don't you go and get ready?" the older woman addressed later on, Alicia nodded, her gaze still set on her little girl.

"Go! You crazy woman"

"Okay, I'm going!" she teased, leaving Zahara with a kiss against her chubby cheek. Reluctantly, she exited the room and headed for the hair and makeup team, indeed she trusted them, she trusted them with everything and smiled slightly, containing her excitement while seemingly gasping for oxygen. Five months prior she had no knowledge that she would bump into Will, but she did, and their conversation was one that she truly enjoyed. She needed his advice now more than ever before, she needed him to tell her that her father _was_ a wonderful man no matter what anyone else said.

The styling of her hair and makeup took longer than expected, but it was worth the time for she flourished in a dark navy blue gown, there was a large split in between her breast, where the length of dark fabric continued down to follow the curves of her hips and eventually her flaunting gorgeous legs. Another split found its way on the right leg from an inch above her knee to conclude down among the Louis Viton heels that stood out and made her seem almost taller than her husband. Her back was covered this time; for the dress had enough revelation, her stylist made sure to accommodate to the chief of staff's wishes, however that didn't stop him from including a dark shade of maroon lipstick. The long hair that often had people talking was pinned back into a tight bun, the choice had her smart cheekbones stand out.

"You are a rare form of beauty Alicia, from the 1920's" her stylist said when he took a look at the final result

"Umm, thanks?" she laughed.

He walked her down to the dining room, there were numerous people; as expected, she tried to search for the man of the night, but failed, and finally allowed her grip to loosen from the firm bicep of her favourite gay man – Owen was never to know that she had her own list.

"Thank you for walking me down sweetheart."

"Try not to drink too much okay?" she laughed loudly and pushed him away, he left a kiss on her cheek and saluted a nod to Eli who made his way for her. He rolled his eyes, "You're late."

"I am"

"Alicia!" the loud voice from behind her shoulder had her turn, her dress stirred flawlessly with her movement and she smiled at the woman instantly. She was a business woman down from LA and had donated to Peter's presidential campaign three years ago.

"You look AMAZING" she threw her hands up "As always."

"Vanessa, I didn't expect to see you here tonight, you look lovely."

"Yes, well, I was hoping you would tell me why I'm invited to such a chestnut party."

"It has nothing to do with Peter and myself, Eli's trying to seize money for Peter's next presidential election, but don't tell anyone, it's _supposed_ to honour the most successful businesses in the country." She whispered cheekily

"My lips are sealed."

She made a series of conversations around the room, still yet to distinguish the man who had broken her heart two and half years ago, she was about to give up when an instant draw across the room caught to the eye. In the foreground, stood some guy who she had been talking to for the last fifteen minutes, but right behind his shoulder was Will.

He was at one of the buffet tables, she could only see the side of his form, but she knew instantly that it was him. He was glowing in happiness, and he was a handsome form of humility.

But the woman on his shoulder was certainly questionable, she was beautiful of course, and in another universe if Alicia were a stranger, without a doubt, she would walk up to Will and separate the hand that settled on his bicep. The woman with unfamiliar blue eyes leant in and pressed a kiss against his cheek, and he blushed while talking with the guy who stood opposite them. She would separate that too if she could.

She pulled her gaze rapidly from his form to the businessman that stood in front of her, she laughed at something he said, her exterior was pulled off by her beauty, but the interior was filled with the familiar feeling of disappointment once again.

She made her way into the ballroom where she knew Peter was, her husband was talking to the big money, and before she could make her appearance by his side, she was stopped once again, this time by somebody she actually liked.

"You're late!" he teased

Her smile that reached her beautiful green eyes was genuine this time. "Handsome"

Cary smiled and shook his head, "Give me a hug Alicia."

She wrapped both arms around his neck and sighed, "Twice in one year" she said. "I wish we could see each other more often."

"Well then move back to Chicago."

"I wish." She pulled back and looked at him, nobody that she knew from home ever seemed to age nowadays.

They moved to a corner and talked for longer than she had with anyone else in the room, favouritism never went well with Alicia, especially when she was exposed but Cary was her own individual.

They talked a great deal on the personal side of their lives, Cary seemed uncomfortable talking about the professional success of the firm, though he did mention something about having to cut back on spending. She informed him on how well the campaign was doing, she wanted to tell him about Zahara, the excitement was overwhelming, but she couldn't do it, the revelation would shock him, and she couldn't deal with another reason to form yet another explanation.

Owen had joined them at some point, dressed lavishly in his tuxedo, Marissa was there too, and then eventually Diane, she was stunning in a floor length white gown, but when she invited Will to join them Alicia tensed. He was just as uncomfortable as she was when he introduced the blonde into the group, however she caught the intense gaze of which his eyes reflected her own.

"Your daughter is going to be an amazing lawyer Mrs Florrick" his… _friend_ addressed after Alicia politely declined the formal intro of Madam First lady.

"My daughter?"

"Yes, I had the pleasure of working opposite her in depo's last week."

"Um" she smiled up at Owen, she almost went cross-eyed, she found the situation humorous seeing as the woman had confused her even more, and though arrogance was never something Alicia favoured, she found herself doing it out of spite for the woman who she disliked already for no apparent reason. "Depo's?"

"Yes?" now she was confused. "I'm working against Lockhart Agos, your daughter is the intern there? She's really wonderful"

The group had stopped talking to each other at this point and their attention resumed to Alicia's face that formed with a drop of realisation. "My daughter is the intern at Lockhart, Agos and Gardner." She repeated to herself as she looked up at Owen, their sibling connection through the shock of the situation didn't go unnoticed by anyone.

"Oh wow" Owen said as he took another sip of wine

"I seriously thought you knew Alicia?" Cary said, he looked more than shocked, he was horrified.

Alicia smiled, her grin forced with a painful grimace, she could hear the vast pound of her heart that sung through her chest.

"Alicia" Peter's secretary interrupted, unacquainted to the current spectacle taking place, she whispered something in Alicia's ear. Alicia nodded; Zahara wanted bed time story from her momma.

"No I didn't know that. But I'm going to kill her nonetheless." She answered to Cary and smiled softly, stretching a hand out to Will's girlfriend, "It was a pleasure to meet you anyway, I hope you all have a lovely night."

She understood for when she walked away with Peter's secretary in toe that she was rude, but she no longer cared.

Exhausted with a sense of heavy fatigue and a hungry tummy, she rushed upstairs and fed her attention to the only little one who managed to make her night. Even with her dress that was beginning to dig into her skin, she made the story choice enthusiastic enough to have Zahara fall asleep in her arms, it was difficult untangling the child from her grip, but when she did, it made her return down to the dining room all the more difficult.

When she walked back in, she apologized for her delay once again, Owen commented on it being a consistency nowadays, and she embarrassed him by mentioning that she only ever saw him at the dinner table when he wasn't in his room drinking. Some laughed, and others didn't understand a thing.

Alicia sat at the table next to Peter, "You okay?" he said quietly

She looked up at him, a strand of hair caught among her long lashes and she pushed it away. "No I'm not. But thanks for asking." She whispered.

He took her hand across the table and squeezed it, the concern in his eyes was real, their hands separated and the moment of comfort was broken as Peter returned to his dinner while making conversation with the lovely Asian man who sat across from her, apparently he was the wealthiest in the room, though that was still to be proven.

She smiled broadly at her chef like a child, he made his way from across the room smiling, "And what would you like madam first lady?" he teased, knowing that she hated the name with a passion

"Salmon tartare pleeassee" she smiled up at him with wide teeth, he shook his head, she would have it every night if she could, just to piss him off.. "You drive me insane you crazy woman. Anything else?"

"Nope."

"Really? Not even wine?"

"Not even wine." She watched him exit the room, she couldn't deny that he was charming and sexy, the odd philosophy behind her fascination in men with good taste in food and wine was strangely alluring.

The table's content of so many people who all seemed to talk over each other was a bit overwhelming. She waited patiently for her food while looking at everyone else's, she hadn't eaten all day, and the consequences of her poor decision were beginning to weigh in.

Her eyes unconsciously scanned the table, she didn't mean to, but her gaze settled on him for a moment, and the minute suddenly took a turn when Will's attention went from the minor across from him, and directly to hers, as if he could sense the beautiful pair of green eyes that settled into his, this allowing for fortune and figure to enter their first kind moment of the night.

And then in a flash it ended abruptly with the food that was placed in front of her, she thanked Michael and grasped the first set of cutlery, _why did they fucking have so much?_ –she thought

"Alicia" this time her own secretary interrupted, she sighed and closed her eyes. "Can I just eat my food first please?" she begged

"It's very important, it's your mother?" she had the phone by ear, Alicia stood up, excused herself – _again_ \- and grasped the phone. She opened the patio doors, unfortunately for the sake of her own credibility, she slammed the doors shut with excessive force without thinking much into her action and made her way around the side of the house, where the crickets sung and the moonlight reflected on her skin and the lights outside led her to her destination.

She found the railway of twin stairs that circled down to the ground of the property, she stood in between them and sat on the bench, her body was exhausted when she spoke into the phone.

"Mom, what is it?"

/

Alicia's disappointment in the many members of her family was unquestionably large, first her father, her brother, Grace, and now her mother. Alicia was much too old to be playing these games, for the change of heart in her mother remained unforeseen; Veronica had gone out to Chicago and met the woman herself, the sister, the girl whose birth was in the wake of an affair that tore her marriage apart.

 _Apparently, (_ not yet substantially proven) the woman was beautiful, she was ten years younger than Alicia, and her name was Victoria.

The stream of natural, and honest words indicated to Alicia that her mother was clearly trying to encourage the epiphany into creating a relationship that could potentially fix the wall Alicia had built over the last two weeks.

Alicia was disgraced of course, and failed to understand why her mother was so desperate at having Alicia and Owen know the hidden _sister_.

Sister

The odd terminology still sounded foreign to her ears for she only ever had a younger brother.

Alicia hung up on the phone before Veronica had a chance to reveal the essential goodness of this woman's character. Alicia didn't want to know.

There was a lingering smell in the air that had her questioning whether her true morals were in the right place, as artificial as it may sound, she still felt as if she were struggling to maintain her friendlier nature when everyone else around her was going against her wishes, and leaving her in the most uncomfortable circumstances.

Oblivious to her surrounding's she didn't hear the slow footsteps that followed her previous path until they came closer and she turned from where she stood near the rail to find that, despite the long journey from the ball room to this side of the house, someone had managed to track her down after all.

In reality, she would be questioning the length of how he had known where she was, but as in love as she once was with him, her speculation ceased some, for when he smiled at her with soft warm eyes, everything else was forgotten.

Will stepped closer and she saw that he held another glass of wine for her, she stretched her hand out for it, and he gave it to her without reluctance, she took a sip.

He had good taste – _as always_ – and he selected the best choice of wine, the expensive one that was only brought out on special occasions. She looked at him and he looked at her and the smile that spread across her face indicated her true pleasure in having him to herself, finally.


	12. The Balcony

When he saw her, thus seeking out an acquaintance in the room, when he saw the man who kissed her cheek, when he saw her smile graciously to people of a glass whom any intercourse twenty years ago would have been considered strange for any Alicia Cavanaugh, and when he saw her thus civil, to anyone and everyone with great poise and humility, he realised that they had both changed tremendously over the years.

The change in her demeanour when openly in her own home, in her personal space, the difference and the variance in her personality was large and struck so forcibly in his mind, so much so that he could hardly contain his need to look.

He didn't know why he had chosen to bring Samantha as his date, she was invited on her own merit through her firm, though she assumed that they would go together for they were…. _Friends._ That's all they were, acquaintances with benefits.

Will had managed to hide his poor attempts to find Alicia, to have her in peripheral vision, to know that she was near, but he was failing as he scanned the room continuously, a half an hour in, and he was beginning to accept that she wouldn't show up when she walked in with a stranger on her arm, thus the kiss to her cheek and the short moment of bitterness that never ceased to leave him, especially when Alicia was in the arms of another man, any man, though none of them seemed to be her own husband.

When Samantha had made the grave mistake of informing Alicia on her daughter's travels, he watched as the familiar face of his only lover fixed into one that could kill if it were possible. Alicia played it off with a teasing smile and a cynical joke to her brother, though he knew that inside she was boiling, and Cary seemed genuinely shocked unlike Diane and himself. Alicia's reaction to Grace told all of them that she was also ignorant to her son's recent travels.

He watched as she walked away with a woman following her footsteps, Alicia's palms balled up into fists, and she looked as though she were searching for a punching bag.

Her return to the table another 30 minutes later told him that there was more to her delay, the amiable smile on her face and her flushed cheeks reminded him of the nights where he would put Macey to sleep and she would tell him just how much she loved him and he would walk out with a heart that was ready to explode, the resemblance alone made him think of his daughter, his little girl who was most likely tucked up in her Aunt's bed all the way back in Chicago.

"Can I just eat my food first please?" her words were muffled by laughter on the other side of the table –someone had probably consumed a bit too much alcohol for when he looked, two old men were intoxicated enough to cause some attention. The room shook when the doors that led outside slammed violently and Alicia's glowing form slowly vanished into the night.

Owen drew the woman who had interrupted his sister into his side, "What did my mom want?"

"I'm not quite sure, she just said it was an emergency"

"She keep's stressing my sister out, next time when she calls, ask for a message; just to put pressure off Alicia's shoulders." He asked nicely

"Of course"

"Thank you. You're a sweetheart"

/

The dinner had subsided into several speeches, and then the ballroom where dances took place and the time came for the chosen firms to court their potential client's for the future. Will's internal worry for the woman who had disappeared some time ago was large, he couldn't deny the throbbing ache that told him something was going on, maybe her mother was sick again? Owen wasn't at all concerned for he had left over fifteen minutes ago, the cynicism of the group of people probably disdained him just as much as it did with Will.

Diane and Cary were confident enough to take the lead and Samantha was talking to some woman about the interior design of the dining room when he made his way out onto the patio with two wine glasses in hand.

Unwillingly admitted on his part, the house was stunning and much bigger than he had ever expected, he recognised some areas from photographs and documentaries, but others were foreign to his mind, like the actual scope of the property and _how on earth could anyone live this kind of lifestyle?_ A place filled with constant chaos and relentless pressure placed among the two important people of the house.

His heart trailed after her and so did his feet, for the guilt that he had been feeling in forcing her into choosing this was eating him up, he made his way across the house and followed the lights, he wasn't sure where he was going, but the footpath down to where the light shined the most was promising. He rounded the corner and found her standing in the middle of the large concrete pillars that the house contained, she had one hand wrapped tightly on the rail, while the other tucked around her waist, her eyes that often drew him in were focused on the view and she was a rare form a beauty, his passion over her stunning features would never, ever stop.

She turned abruptly and the same loose strand of hair that had caught between her lashes only an hour ago, followed her movement.

His reaction to her seizing the glass in his hand was nothing short of shocking, he gave it to her, watched as the lips he loved tasted red liquid, leaving a trail of evidence against the cracks of her maroon lipstick, and then she smiled at him and he lit up inside.

He moved to her side, calmly, and took in the view of DC's backyard, the green field stretched right across like a football field, a fountain sat in the middle and the trees that circled the entire property offered a foundation of privacy. It was hard to think that five years ago she was just a fourth year associate working at his firm, and now she had this.

He felt her eyes on him, and looked at her only to catch her smile, she laughed and bit her lip.

"What?" he asked

She just shook her head. Her eyes glistened with humour, "Nothing, it's just that every time I see you, you look younger."

He didn't feel younger.

"Thanks, I think."

She took in a deep breath, and folded her arms as she lent against the rail and stared at him with scrutiny. "So how's my daughter doing?"

He smiled, "She's doing great actually. Grace is very intelligent."

"Yea" she laughed "I don't know where she gets it from."

Alicia's need to criticize herself broke his heart, when did she lack such confidence?

"I do."

"You're biased."

"Probably."

He watched as she laughed again, and then her smile fell and it drove him up the wall to see her so unhappy. "I'm guessing Zach is there with you too."

"How did you..?"

"I know my kids" she said, "When one does something spontaneous, the other eventually follows."

"Alicia I'm sorry I wanted to tell you, I really did, but I didn't know how."

"It's okay Will" she reassured, her kind smile was back again. "I get it. They're adults. They can do whatever they want now."

"They care about you"

"I know they do."

"If I had known earlier that you didn't know anything…"

"There is no one else in this world I would rather have mentor my children, than Diane and yourself." She cut him off before he could continue, striking him with a good sentiment of surprise that eventually had him grinning and the nodding, acknowledging her words.

The silence that followed was oddly calm, she had joined the parade in simply enjoying one another's company, there was so much to say, but little motivation to do anything.

"Alicia" a voice from behind his shoulder caught his attention, he turned to find another stranger standing with a phone, he could only associate her by being one of Alicia's staff.

"No more phone calls for tonight please."

"I know, it's just that, it's your father's old lawyer? He says he has some stuff to discuss regarding your father's will."

"Tell him, to _never_ call here again and that I want nothing to do with it. Whatever paper work he has, he can discuss it with my brother."

The girl looked more than uncomfortable when she nodded, "Okay."

"Ashley, I'm sorry for snapping at you." Alicia apologized immediately, though he wasn't surprised, her soft heart was still tender regardless of everything else. "Just tell him… tell him to call my mother instead. She'll take care of it."

"Alright Mrs Florrick." The young girl nodded, and walked back around. Alicia stopped her

"Ashley, if anyone does ask, tell them I've gone to sleep."

"Yes ma 'mm."

"What is your father's lawyer doing calling you about the will? Twenty years after his death?" he asked when the young woman disappeared and Alicia sighed heavily.

She shook her head, rested her elbows on the rail and ran her hands through her hair, involuntarily unloosening the knot and incandescently allowing it to fall upon her shoulders. _God she was beautiful._

Even when tears began to slide down her cheeks and her hands trembled, there wasn't a doubt in his mind, she was still remarkable in his eyes.

"Alicia talk to me" he begged, placing a hand on her shoulder and using his connection with her to coax her into saying something, anything.

Instead, she leant into his touch, and in return he wrapped his arms around her. Her body, a valuable quality, fell into him and she broke out into a flood of tears.

/

They had moved to the bench, where she sat down and told him everything. Branching from when her mother had travelled to Africa two weeks ago only to ruin the good opinion Alicia had of her father. When Alicia mentioned that her father had also lied to her mother their entire marriage, his heart went out to Veronica for the pain she must have felt was enormous, though Alicia refused to show her concern.

The confliction of hate towards her father, and yet her respect and love for him as a parent was eating her up inside, he could see it in the way she spoke so kindly of him, _still_ , even after everything.

Will contemplated on going to see the biological sister in person, as she did live in Chicago, but that wouldn't be considered appropriate at all and Alicia would most likely disown him altogether.

"Peter said it was a good thing, that I'm angry now, he thinks it won't last and eventually I will accept it."

"Accept that your father had a hidden affair almost your whole childhood and got his mistress knocked up?"

She winced at his blunt response, "Don't say it like that."

"I'm sorry, but you want me to remain honest with you. It's going to take a while for you to accept it Alicia, but you can't let it take over your life."

"Well then what am I supposed to do?" she looked up at him with torn eyes. "I feel like everything I believed in has been ripped to pieces, I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for my dad Will, and now I don't know whether anything he said was true."

"You shouldn't have to hate him."

When her pending silence answered to him, he took her hand and rested it on her knee where she squeezed it and allowed his support to engulf her moment of vulnerability for just a little while longer.

"I knew you could make me feel better, I just didn't think you could still have this effect on me."

Her words, so amiable in light, had him building the wall he had between them bigger and bigger; for this, whatever this was, could not happen. No, not when she was first lady of the country and he had much larger responsibilities, 2 years a five months ago his answer would be different, but that was then when knowing the feeling of crushing her heart was filled with resentment and this was now, when having his own child taught him that his own happiness no longer mattered.

"Don't worry" she said when she sensed his internal worry. "I'm not going to jump on you." Her words, as shocking as they were, had her laughing. _She was still the same._ Hilarious and easy going.

"I didn't think you would."

"Blondie might think differently."

A grin tugged to her lips, "Blondie?" he asked.

"Your girlfriend." She gestured to the house, he snickered.

"Samantha is not my girlfriend. She's just a friend."

"A friend? Really? Hmm."

"I'm telling the truth!" he chuckled "She means absolutely nothing to me." He wondered if he were trying to convince her or trying to convince himself.

"That's mean of you to say. Do you have many of these _friends_ Mr Gardner?" she teased

"Not as much as you think."

"Right."

"Samantha will leave tonight, not because she has to, but because she will."

"Trouble in paradise?" she chuckled. He found it odd that she was so calm about this, for he was not in the same facet of having to watch men fawn over her all night, and he continuously wondered how Peter put up with it.

He shrugged and allowed it to slip off. That's until she pushed;

"Oh come on! You can't leave it there. Spill"

"Okay, if you insist.. She knew that you didn't know about Grace's internship, I told her yesterday. I also told her not to say a thing to you, but I guess she wanted to see your reaction."

"She doesn't sound very nice then."

"Nope."

"Be sure to keep her away from my kids."

There was a fire in her eyes that told him he should be worried, for she was one of the most powerful woman in the country, he would be worried for Samantha's well-being if it weren't for the smile that graced Alicia's lips.

He hadn't felt a more promising inclination when their eyes met, wholly engrossed by her, he wasn't sure on how he had managed to live without her smile and her laugh for the last 29 months.

"So what are you gonna do now?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know. Mom wants me to get to know her, this woman, but I don't want anything to do with her, I never want to meet her or her mother."

"Alicia.." her distress over the situation clearly had her unbalanced, she wasn't the same woman he knew. "Leesh," he moved closer, his hand remained in hers, and he used his other to push the strand of hair that had fallen on her cheek. "Don't be cold, you're too kind to be so awful. She's your biological sister, regardless, you're never ever going to get another one."

The change in their position ceased to remind them that they were outside, in the open. They were linked now, there wasn't a finer indication, his side pressed into hers and their knees touched. She leant up to his lips, where he stopped her from making a mistake and cupped her face instead. "No."

"Please" she begged, "please" Her forehead touched his and unconscious tears slid down her cheeks. He wiped them apart with his thumb and kissed her forehead; "Alicia I love you, but I can't do this to you. Not again."

She nodded, slowly, painfully, and pulled away from his face, though their hands remained allied, he smiled at her content features.

"Where's that smile gone huh?"

"What smile?"

"That one" he touched her lips with his thumb and as stubborn as she was, the alluring grin that tugged to her lips filled his heart once again. They both shared a deep sigh as he pulled apart, the night had been heavy, filled with many different emotions, all of which boiled down to the simple foundation of having to accept that he would always love her, only he couldn't have her, the general struggle must have been the very essence of love, for he was positive that the agony was worth something.

"I'm not gonna lie Alicia, regardless of everything else you're going through, you look happy, and I don't understand how, with everything that's going on."

"You really think that?"

"Yea. You're glowing; like early motherhood."

"Wow" her genuine shock over his words had him creasing his brows up in confusion. _Was it really that shocking?_

When she stood up and moved towards the steps, every disposition on the ground was good enough to distract her as he no longer existed in her frame of mind.

"Did I say something?" he asked attentively, moving to her side.

She shook her head and remained uncivil, though not intentionally he was sure, he covered her hand and in return she allowed their fingers to entwine.

He wanted to tell her about his life, how he had missed her, but without receiving any kind of romantic intimacy, he found something else instead, and though he knew she would understand for she was once a mother herself, he could never tell her about Macey, because that would expose her, and it would also expose his own foolishness in getting a woman pregnant only after a month of losing his Alicia.

She took his other hand, and for a second he was positive that she was about to seduce him, until a knowing smile graced her lips and he felt like an idiot for even contemplating it. "You trust me?"

"Of course I do.."

"Do you wanna meet someone?" she asked, her features were soft now, in comparison to before.

"Sure… Who? you're housekeeper?" he chuckled

She pinched his shoulder "not funny"

"Sorry. So who am i meeting?" he said when she dragged him inside.

"My daughter."

* * *

I received a few messages over the week, and just letting you all know, it's TOTALLY and completely a willicia story with a willicia ending, haha. Please review!


	13. The Friendship

She had never seen a more promising sight ever before in her life, Will Gardner had truly shocked her, he was quite attentive with children – she noticed. And to say that it took her by surprise would be considered a major understatement.

Zahara had instantly moulded into his arms when Alicia asked if he wanted to hold her, her daughter was half asleep, but aware of her surrounding's and that there was a stranger holding her. Two people who held a significant place in her heart were indistinguishable among grace, Will's eyes were like nothing she had ever seen before, and Zahara was a perfect sense of composure in his arms. Alicia could almost feel her own heart pulsing through her chest,

"Alicia she's beautiful…." he stumbled.. "I can't believe you d…" he said where he sat on the sofa with a little ball of cuteness on his chest.

She smiled to herself and gently sat next to him, aware of the distance and the length of which her dress displayed more skin than necessary, she sat formally with her posture up and her eyes focused on nothing but him, though at first unwillingly admitted, she knew that deep down his attraction to children had suddenly changed, a few years ago he could barely hold his niece without the fear of disorder, and despite the expensive tuxedo he currently wore, he ceased to care anymore for the change in his eyes now was strangely alluring.

"She's my everything." Alicia touched the base of Zahara's head, pushing a couple of strands of silky hair behind her ear.

"When did you meet her?"

"When she was six months." She answered, setting his cup of English tea on the coffee table. "It wasn't long after that dinner with you in Chicago actually.. We were travelling in ethiopia, and we stopped at one of the orphanages. When I met her she was this vulnerable little thing who could barely eat. I never really thought much into adoption, trust me, it was the furthest thing from my mind but I knew, when I saw her, I couldn't imagine living without her."

"How did you manage to keep this a secret?"

"Peter and I keep her from outdoors as much as possible, the only time she's exposed in public is at airports, and even then, I have enough security to hide her. It's pretty easy here you know? she can go and run around outside in the backyard and nobody will bat an eyelid."

They fell silent again, just enjoying one another's company, heightened into somewhat of familiar territory, though she had never felt comfortable in his presence since the conclusion of their relationship all those years ago. Maybe it was the essence of her daughter that had them easy with each other, or maybe it was simply the shock of witnessing this new, soft side of Will Gardner that offered her an involuntary sense of composure.

"What about when she gets older?" he asked

"What do you mean?"

"You can't hide her away forever Alicia."

His concerns were almost identical to hers – she noticed, just like any fit parent would, he answered to her growing concern on whether she was really willing to have her own child hidden under the microscope for fear of exposure. How much did he truly know? how was he possibly able to relate to the struggle?

"I want the world to know who she is, to know she's mine, but if that happens, I'm afraid she'll never have a chance at living a normal life, she will get criticised for the rest of her life, and if I do hide her, I will just be like my father, "

Her speech, as prepared as it was, gave her no chance at revealing the real reason in why it was important for her heart to have Zahara honour her identity with respect and pride - away from the spotlight. Maybe his vanity was less than before and he would understand; when she had known him to be the man who only ever cared about his job, she once assumed with the highest of spirits that his character could never change when it came to his lack of interest in children.

But something had changed in him – she noticed for the first time tonight, it wasn't just his gentle heart that had hers doing summersaults, it was the way he carried himself, his smile, his respect, his self-confidence with children, with every essence and with every turn of fibre within the loving creature that he was. _So remarkable_ \- she thought.

"I think it's going to take a while for you to get over what your father did" he pushed gently

"He _slept_ with another woman Will. He fathered another child and never told me about it."

"Nobody is perfect Alicia."

"Whose side are you on?"

"I'm not on anybody's side."

"Can you just be on my side for now?"

"Okay" he laughed, the conviction of his valuable qualities that reminded her of why she once loved him so much, never ceased to strike a cord, and the sight of him holding her daughter wasn't a bad inclination either, she was simply wholly engrossed by the sight of them that she fought to remind herself that time was ticking and soon, the night would be over and all of this would simply be the product yet _another_ memory, repaired and revamped after the damage that had caused its existence in the first place.

"You know, my daughter isn't very fond of strangers Mr Gardner, therefore you will have to explain how you manage to have her wrapped around your finger as well." _as well_. She returned to her teasing tone, chastising herself when recognising the instant mistake.

His smile indicated that he was oblivious to the meaning of her words for he threw his head back and laughed. She grinned at his sight of happiness., a natural desire grew within her; an odd sensation that had her soul begging for more of their easy, genuine friendship.

"You lack enthusiasm in my ability to charm toddlers Mrs Florrick."

"Since when did you start talking like a British police officer?"

"Since when did you become princess Di?"

"Excuse me?" she looked at him from across the sofa

"That is what the press call you don't they? Princess Diana?" he obviously found humour in the situation as he looked as if he wanted to burst in laughter.

"They…" what? "that is horrible!"

"Because she's dead?"

"No!" she threw the cushion at his head, careful with her movements in dodging Zahara.

"I go from being Mary Antoinette to Diane Spencer in the course of two years. What is wrong with the world?"

"Don't take it personally Alicia, I'm sure she would be honoured." He chuckled to himself.

"Okay enough with the teasing, we're gonna wake her up." She stretched her arms out for her little girl, which Will obliged without difference and gently handed her over to Alicia, their hands touched briefly, and the expression of both as they looked at each other, was all astonishment at the effect their skin still had on one another. They both pulled away, awkwardly, she stood up and moved to stand as she settled her little girl into her arms and rocked her back to her rightful state of nirvana.

She felt Will's gaze on her form when hers settled directly onto the perfect complexion of her child's, she pushed a few lose strands of Zahara's hair behind her ear and smiled at the long length of her beautiful lashes.

She heard Will clear his throat as he began to walk the living room, admiring all the pictures they had accomplished over the last 2 years, he remained still for a few of them, including the photographs she had with the future King of the monarchy and the Dalai larma. Though they weren't enough to peg his interest for he remained quiet. The photo of her tattoo had him smiling for a fraction of a second.

"I still can't believe you actually got a tattoo,"

"Would you like to see it?" he furrowed his brows at her question and looked at her with peeve. She smiled at his reaction,

"What? I have to strip down anyway don't I?"

"Alicia.."

"Will my god, it's a joke!"

He shook his head, "I often wonder if you tease other men like that too."

"Sometimes I do, when I want something." His jaw dropped at her response and she stifled a giggle,

"You can't handle jokes."

"I can't handle _your_ jokes because nobody knows if they're false or not."

She looked down at Zahara's peaceful state, "Well thank god your ears aren't adjustable to adults words yet or else mommy would be in jail with all the things I've said in front of you."

Will's laughter echoed through her veins and she smiled. "Now can you tell if that's a joke?"

"I'm not gonna answer that." He replied

Silence filled the gap between them and she closed her eyes, measured the distance of time, and prayed to anyone above to pause the world clock for the two of them to settle in momentary bliss, but of course, he was the perfect gentleman who reminded her of reality.

"I have to go soon." His voice, alluded a sense of heavy remorse.

"Yea I have to put her down and change.. I'll walk you down."

"I can find my way back."

"You are going to get lost Will. I'm walking you down." Her tone was unambiguous enough for him to understand that she wasn't taking no for an answer.

She left and returned from the bedroom to find that he had made his way to the window where the balcony among the large white house lingered along his attire, he stretched out for the door handle for his own sense of escape – she guessed. But the door refused to open, and she answered quickly. "We keep it locked, Zahara's curiosity often leads her to dangerous situations."

"It's a beautiful view." He moved his head to take in the view of the woman who had claimed his soul from the very beginning, Alicia was dressed as normal as normal could be directly for the pleasure of his eyes. She wore a pair of nice fitted jeans and a white silky tank top. Her makeup remained the same; the traces of discarded mascara from her emotional tears earlier on were removed, and enlightened into perfect flushed cheeks, however her hair that had been obtainable among her perfect shoulders, was tied up into a nice ponytail. It was an outfit that was familiar to his eyes, back when they were in-love under the heavy burden of her husband's presidential campaign.

She forced herself to smile and then forced herself to speak. "We should go, your colleagues are probably looking for you."

He followed her down the extravagant staircase, the Easter holidays were soon approaching and he could see that the staff of the white house were preparing for a formal gathering, and though he knew that deep down she still struggled with jesus, and the idea of god, it was nice to know that her kindness among her staff led to all of them recognising through her faults, that she was filled with compassion and genuine care, maybe he was a bit bias, however he wasn't the only one who noticed the smile of a young volunteer in the common area when she walked past.

"People still work at this hour?" he asked

"It's only 9,30."

"Only?"

"They stay in late on Friday nights, it's a long weekend, Peter changed the rules a year ago, so they get two days off instead of one."

"Wow, what a difference." He mocked

She swatted his shoulder, "Don't be cynical, it doesn't suit you."

He rolled his eyes, "Says you."

They rounded the corner laughing and found familiar eyes meeting theirs, Diane and Cary were retrieving their coats and Samantha stood next to them, common awkwardness forced its ugly head into Will and Alicia's bubble of happiness and it was soon torn apart by Will's _girlfriend_ , whatever she was.

"There you are! I was beginning to think you had left!" she put her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Nope, I'm still here." He responded with a hint of sarcasm that only Alicia could understand.

"Cary" she pulled herself away from the two of them, shifted her attention to her only true friend and took his hand. "You have to come back some time, I have a lot to tell you."

"I will Alicia, I promise." In the conquest of all that remained awkward with so many people entering the room, heading home to their warm beds after a luxurious night of food and wine, Alicia and Cary embraced with a hug that left passers-by's wondering if they were more than just acquaintances.

"Diane, it was so good to see you again." Alicia touched her elbow, her words, as honest and amiable as they were, it was enough to score a smile from her former lovers best friend.

"Like wise Alicia" Diane's ocean blue eyes went from hers to Will, a change of disposition from the ceiling to the ground told Alicia that Diane's hidden gaze warned a sign of disappointment towards her business partner.

"Will, I will be waiting in the limo. Samantha you can catch the next one."

"But I was.."

"I'll see you tomorrow." There was no sense of formality in Diane's voice, the tone of it was intimidating enough to have Samantha offer a simple nod.

"please take care Alicia" Diane addressed, amicably authentic and honest in every way possible, Alicia nodded in response and she left. Soon with Samantha following her footsteps and then Cary, who pressed one last kiss against Alicia's cheek and whispered something in her ear that had her giggling.

"You guys have a really good relationship." Will said, standing beside her

"You gonna get all emotional on me Gardner." He smiled and shook his head.

"Thanks for the house tour, you're right, I would have gotten lost."

"Don't worry about it, that's what first ladies are for right?"

"I have a feeling you have many other things to do."

"Yes, you're right, I do actually."

She looked down at her feet and he joined her in their civil union of silence. She felt his hand touch hers and she looked up into his eyes, "Zahara is beautiful, and you're the best mother." He said, his voice soft and gentle.

She closed her eyes at his scent that alluded itself into engulfing her spirits, not very fluently for he had changed his familiar cologne into something more rich and rough – she didn't like it. She didn't like the change.

"I wanna see you again." If it weren't for her weak voice that managed to sound through her own ears, she would not have been able to hear it herself, but he did, and as dangerous as the situation was, she was grateful that he had.

"That's impossible." She raised her eyebrows up at him, "Last year I managed to persuade my agents in allowing me to go cliff diving for fun. _Nothing_ is impossible."

He chuckled quietly and she would have sacrificed every pleasure in the world to just lean her head against his chest and wrap her arms around him. Why was she like this? Why couldn't she just move on?

"I know you are gonna do right by your sister." The change in topic had her stiffen slightly "Don't, Will, she is not my sister." She stepped back and looked at him in warning

"Fine, half-sister." He teased

"You're testing the limits here."

"Okay, I'm sorry" he placed his hands up in defence.

"Thank you" she said "For what?"

"For talking… with me tonight… for not laughing when I bursted into tears like a baby and for accepting the.." she paused, and her voice lowered its exposure so only his ears could comprehend. "the adoption." She said. "It's always a relief to have someone who has my best interest at heart."

She watched as he looked towards the doors and pushed his jaw in, he rejoiced in the simple notion of having her scent and her laughter and her smile, and her honesty, and her stories on her recent travels and her glorification for being a mother and everything else that their perfect night of unity accomplished. However soon it would all be gone, and as sensible and as warm as he was in this moment, they both were aware of the repercussions if this were to become more than what it already was.

"I have to go." He said

"Okay" she smiled.

"Next time you're in Chicago, call me. I mean it." He slipped his business card into her pocket; and even though she had the power to track down his number and his address, it wasn't the point, those sentiments had undergone so far in the past that she didn't need to be that miserable person again.

"I will.."

He pressed a brief kiss against her forehead, leaving his mark of ease for the night, departing with the texture of his lips still violently shaking her soul, maybe this wasn't healthy after-all. He had tethered himself to her without even knowing, he had done it unintentionally, still, it was un-fair that his effect on her left her craving for more sweet kisses and night time stories.

She waved goodbye to him from where he stood at the door, Will's eyes were a mixture of warmth and love and another form of humility that ultimately left her questioning how it was so easy for him to just walk away.

She wrapped her arms around her chest and made a direction for the ballroom, chairs were stacked, content among the tables were being removed, some people had left, and the ones who hadn't were invited into the oval office, Peter had business to discuss, as always, leaving her alone to deal with the remaining chaos.

She stood in the middle of the room and wiped the sweat off the palm of her hands above her pristine jeans. The scent of his new cologne lingered among the area, as if he was still here, as if the shadow of his existence would always remain in her silhouette.

"Alicia are you alright?" one of the staff made concern for her immovable stance had others speculating whether she was truly sane, or she was back to square one again.

"I hardly know."

/

Will rested his head against the recliner, he disliked limousines because they attracted too much attention, though the free wine and comfortable seating was certainly a benefit. Diane sat across from him with her gaze relieved towards the window, rejoicing in her delight to having the advantage in ignoring him, he guessed.

She was disappointed in him and he didn't even know why. He had been partners with her for more than a decade, and yet he still couldn't fathom her mind.

"Okay" he was the first to speak. "Just say it"

"Say what?"

"Alicia" She chuckled quietly and shook her head, residing in an even more awkward sense of silence.

"You're an adult Will, you can do whatever you want."

"You think Alicia and I?.."

"Like I said, you're an adult."

"Tonight was the first time we have seen each other in nearly three years Diane, all we did was talk."

"I saw the way you were looking at her and I'm not the only one, I won't let you jeopardize everything. Listen to me, you can do whatever you want, but I don't want to see your face on news-outlets."

"We are just friends."

"I'm tired okay Will? I don't want to fight, the only reason I dragged you in here was because I didn't want you and Samantha riding in the same car together."

"Why? You were the one who introduced her to me."

"That's EXACTLY why I pulled you in here. You're playing with her, she's in it for the long haul, she's serious about this and you won't even take the time to consider settling. You do this all the time, you drag woman in for fun, and it is none of my business. I completely understand that, but I just want the best for my goddaughter."

"Don't bring Macey into this."

"Okay, let's just stop arguing. This conversation is over."

"You don't think I want a mother for Mace? It keeps me up at night thinking about it."

"Does Alicia know about her?" He ran his hands through his hair.

"Why are we even talking about Alicia again? She has nothing to do with this."

"You haven't told her have you?"

"We only just started talking."

"My god, this is all just so stupid."

"Look at us Diane, we're like a bickering married couple"

"We're not."

"Can we just go back to an hour ago when we were celebrating the gain of two wealthy businessman?"

"I just wanna go back to the hotel, Kurt and I are going out for dinner."

"I thought you already had dinner."

"Yes, and the food there was marvellous, but it's not exactly great when you can't even eat with your own husband." Will laughed,

"There were no objections in bringing him to the party." Alicia probably would have welcomed him with open arms.

"Yes, but he said that he would rather watch paint dry than sit in a room filled with democrats talking about everything he's against." She smiled

"Sounds like him."

"How's Alicia?" the change in topic was done under his favour, he was sure, and he tried to overlook the fact that Diane had involuntarily allowed Kurt and Alicia to sit under the same category. Maybe she knew, maybe she knew that Alicia was his choice above all woman and maybe she knew that Alicia was the one he wanted for Macey and for himself and for everyone else, his own selfish heart torn between wanting her and actually disliking her for being herself.

"She's.." he paused, his reflection on her character tonight had him smiling inside, a sensible man like himself was still violently in-love with a woman who had an entirely different life now. "-good."


	14. The Revelation

**AN/ Thanks for the continuous feedback :) xx**

* * *

"Daddy pease don't go," his heart reached out for her when he took her in his arms.

"Baby, we already talked about this. Daddy has to go to work and you have to go to school."

"But the zoo daddy, we go zoo?"

"Remember the plan? We will go in the morning if you promise to be good. Okay?"

She breathed deeply and then nodded somberly. "Okay" she whispered.

"Hey" he touched her chin. "Where's that smile gone huh?"

Macey glared at him like a teenager trapped in a toddler's body. He chuckled, she wasn't as mending as Alicia was, she also wasn't as forgiving, for his absence from his trip to Washington two days ago was still a topic that had her stubbornly upset.

"I have to go now princess," he pushed a strand of her curls behind her ear. "Be good for aunt Aubrey."

"I'm always good!" she stomped her little foot, angry and seemingly frustrated at his inability to ever take her seriously.

He laughed. "Okay, darling, I'll see you in a bit."

"Your assistant called" Aubrey spoke from the kitchen. "She said something about a meeting at ten."

"Yes, that's why I have to go." He rushed over and kissed her cheek. "Thank you for looking after Mace, you are my lifesaver."

"You need a wife!" she yelled when he rushed out the front door.

/

The atmosphere that had alluded itself into the pleasant halls of Lockhart Agos and Gardner warned Will of something distressing, and the eyes that settled on him was more than enough of a sign that something was going on.

The conference room, where a buffet of fruit salad and croissants were untouched as it's occupant stood in front of the large television screen. He heard Alicia's voice echo through the sound system and pushed his way through the crowd. Alicia stood up on a podium with Peter standing nearby, she wore a navy blue dress, her cleavage was on display but her eyes were the main source of attraction, her hair, a valuable piece of humanity's doing, was displayed against her shoulders and some pieces fell against her cheek. It had only been two days since their last greeting but he could still feel her presence in the back of his spine.

"Everyone get back to work! This is not a room for your own entertainment!" Cary's voice was a mixture of anger and frustration, he reached for the remote to switch the tv off but Will stopped him.

"What's going on?"

"You haven't heard?" Diane asked

"what?"

CNN choose that time to court their replay of the footage. "As you all know, in my job description, I work directly with children's homes all around the world, our choice of an adoption was in no way done to offend the American citizens because of our child's race, in fact, I find it stumbling that some think differently." She dropped the bomb rather swiftly for an opening.

"There are so, so many children out there who need homes, who need love. Five months ago I made one of my regular trips to Africa where I met the most wonderful human being and since then, we have had her in our home. Her involvement into our lives has been a wonderful experience, and the decision was in no way done to influence our lives here in the white house. We simply done it to have the chance at being parents again, the child will remain under a tight microscope, we will not promote her to the public and if in any way her privacy is violated, legal charges will be pressed and we will not take it kindly. We value privacy, therefore I hope you can all respect that for the moment."

Below the podium, questions sung like birds in the morning, and Peter chose to answer them as his wife stood next to him, they gave little detail on Zahara's identity, only her age, and that she was born as an orphan. The press were like rats, jumping for any source of material and food for their personal use.

" .fuck." said Cary

"They adopted."

"Five months ago."

"How have they hidden this?"

"Who cares" Will spoke for the first time. "It's nobody's concern, let's get back to work. Everyone." When they exited the room, Will switched the television off.

"Where's Zach and Grace?"

"Grace has taken the day off, and Zach is in his office." Cary answered, Will nodded and left for the wind.

He heard Cary walking behind him but ignored his insistence until he felt his hand on his shoulder. His business partner pulled him into the corner where Will looked down at him with disdain and frustration.

"Look, I know you care about Zach and Grace, and I totally get it, but" he glanced around. "People in the office are beginning to complain about favouritism,"

"People are jealous Cary, that's all they are. At this point I don't care about what anybody thinks of me. Now get out of my way."

He knocked on the door that led into Zach's office, the young man smiled at him from where he sat behind the desk,

"Hey" Will was surprised to find that he was marvelled in a coma of work

"Hey" he smiled up at him. "I went over the budget for this year's Christmas party just like you asked, and it should be fine. Also, the two empty floors below that nobody is using? Is there a purpose for those?"

"We haven's sorted that out yet.. Zach, there is plenty of time to.."

"I think we should start leasing them out to other businesses. We have to keep moving, like I said, the firm can't keep spending money on ridiculous things."

"We aren't spending…"

"Yes you are, but we aren't going to have this argument again Will." He laughed.

"God I always feel like we're at a baseball match when we talk." He sat on the chair opposite his desk and lifted his feet on the edge of the wooden table.

"You're the one who walks in here." He teased, Will laughed, positive that Alicia would say the same thing.

"If you need to take the day off, you can."

"Why would I take the day off?" Zach grasped the ball that sat on his desk and threw it at Will, he caught it with both hands and gained another point in their playful game of football. It had begun several days ago when boredom had gotten the best of them and they started testing each other's intellectual and physical physiques – Diane had lost it when her sacred vase of flowers in her office almost split in half.

"Oh I don't know, maybe because the world just found out that you have a sibling." He joked

"Oh, yeah that. I'm fine thanks."

"Okay, but as your boss, I insist that you take a break at least once."

"Yes sir." Zach saluted a nod. He was young enough to understand where the older man stood, however his opinion of his Parent's recent arrangement did not relate in the way Will saw it, maybe it was resentment or simply anger, but Will was positive that something had been bothering him for a while now and it resulted in his distant character. He wondered if Alicia's concern was at the same level, or she had simply accepted her distance with her children as a mere sign of normality.

"Can I ask you… a personal question?"

"Of course."

"Did you see my mom the other night, at the party?"

"Yes.."

"How is she?"

"She's good.." stammered Will.

"Really?"

"Yea" Will sat down, slowly coming to terms with the nature of their conversation and this new found territory. "We had a wonderful time, we talked, she told me of her recent travels, and then she took me to see Zahara.."

"Wait, what?" the hairs on Zach's neck had risen and Will could fundamentally see the tides changing.

"You met my sister?"

"Yes, you seem surprise."

"No, I" he looked over Will's head. "I um, I just didn't expect, I mean, my mom doesn't really do that with her friends. Especially when it comes to Zahara."

There was a knock to the door where Diane slowly made herself known. "Morning Zach. Will, I need you in the meeting with the Coopers?"

He took his feet off the desk and stood up. "Yes! Sorry, I completely forgot." He threw the ball back in Zach's direction, the younger man caught it with one hand and Will pinched himself. "Dammit!"

"I'm never going to lose, Will you should just give up now before you embarrass yourself."

"Never!"

"Oh god you two, please stop with the sport fixations." Diane begged.

Will smiled, and looked back at him. "Will talk more about it later okay?"

"Coffee, on you this time.

* * *

Daylight began to announce its presence in her bedroom, and if it weren't the inferiority of her lack of timing nowadays, she would be up on her toes ready to face another day, but within such an unfaithful statement, her need to remain under the covers was caused by her own stubborn actions.

Eli had arranged the breakfast, bound by her perseverance that this was what she wanted, however when the day finally came, and she was called into action, she suddenly took regret in her decision, for she knew she would be alone to wallow in her own foolishness with a woman she didn't even know. Owen refused to support her decision, claiming that she herself was too nice for her own good, and that his sense of forgiveness was less than hers, and his own pride had gotten in the way of the unavoidability as well as the certainty that this was important.

One day her kids would need a liver or a bag of blood, and if she couldn't provide them with one, maybe someone else could and therefore, with a little inspiration from a gentleman's previous opinion, it was worth getting to know her..

"Mumm mumm mumma" the sing song of pure love that echoed her ears raised her attention to her baby girl. She rolled over to her side and looked down at her child, Zahara was awake and pleased with the morning sun, unlike her mother.

Alicia pulled the covers away from the child and allowed her skin to breathe, she wore a thin white sleepsuit that Veronica had brought her some weeks ago, and a pair of pink fluffy socks, beyond adorableness for a child, and the amount of people who gushed over her daughter daily were leaving a trail of witnesses to testify so highly in their favour for the beauty of a toddlers character seemed almost unbelievable, though entirely true.

"Morning my sweetie."

She kissed her cheek and brushed her hand over her hair, if it weren't for obvious reasons that supported the inevitable of Zahara not being hers by blood, her hair was so much like Alicia's, straight with light wavy curls and a beautiful uncertainty of where it would grow in the future, the simple resemblance of hair had Alicia contemplating the inevitable that she had truly gone insane, wishing that Zahara was hers by line wasn't the problem, she loved her child enough to understand that; it was merely the opinion of others that simply had her questioning it. And since the birth of her and Peter's press conference, done only less than twelve hours ago, the need to shy her child from the aliens outside was chokingly huge.

Alicia pulled herself off the bed and gently lifted Zahara into her arms, her child loved the texture of silk, therefore Alicia's clothes consisted of them nowadays, the impression ultimately always had Zahara snuggling into her chest which was always an advantage in the mornings.

"Marissa? You're here" the young woman sat in the living room with her feet on the coffee table and the remote control in her hands.

"You don't have movie channel, what am I supposed to watch? Dora the explorer?"

"What are you doing here? It's seven in the morning."

"I came to help you for today of course! Who else is going to pick out your outfit?"

"Marissa, I wouldn't sweat on it. I'm just going to wear some old jeans and a shirt."

"You're what?" Alicia laughed when her exaggeration dragged from the sofa to the bench where she stood and watched Alicia prepare her morning coffee.

"Alicia, you are meeting your sister for the first time.. you cant wear.."

"Are you hungry? We have eggs, cereal.."

"No I already ate, and don't change the subject."

"Marissa please.. please, stop making a big deal of this, I'm trying to regain a sense of composure, and you keep reminding me of how nervous I should be. Just drop it please."

"Okay, okay, just promise me you won't go dressed as a hippie."

"Why does everyone care about what this woman thinks?" said Alicia. "It's not like she's important."

"You still hold resentment towards her don't you?"

Alicia looked at her as if she weren't the scholar who had a degree in communications and the mind of a genius. "Marissa, her mother tore my parent's marriage apart, I'm not going to welcome her with open arms if that is what you are referring to."

Every prominent feature of Alicia's went from happy to scarcely aggravated to voluntary happiness again when Marissa took her orders and put an end to the topic.

"Oh, that's it. Zahara can you not be beautiful even when you're half asleep?" said Marisa, releasing a mild laugh from Alicia against her will of waking the child up from her small doze off, her face nestled safely in the curve of her mother's shoulder, she stirred and her grip tightened on Alicia's shirt in response to her mother's sudden movement

"Look who is tired now" Alicia teased, touching her nose. "Sweet girl, you can't wake momma up at seven in the morning just to fall asleep again when I finally get up."

"I swear if she could roll her eyes she would." Marissa joked, and Alicia laughed, for a second, the events of the coming hours were lost from her mind for her child seemed to remind her of the joy that came with her life now.

"Wakey wakey princess"

"How long did she sleep?"

"Five hours."

"Ooh"

"Yes" she blew air in her face. "Peter the asshole decided give her chocolate, and she was up all night, sugar just drives her up the wall."

Marissa looked through Zahara's small innocent eyes and she smiled with compassion, her sentiments regarding Zahara had undergone so far within the material of love and adoration, the child had managed to have her wrapped under a small grip as well, just like Peter, and Owen and Zach and Will and anybody else who walked in and out of her life.

The television operated in the background of their peaceful morning, there was a panel of woman who sat among the cbs studio talking about none other than Zahara and the first couple's choice of an adoption, the announcement was still the number one trend on social media.

Their voices weren't indistinguishable among her ears, she could hear their indecisive opinions a mile away, she could smell their hunger for blood and she wondered if exposing Zahara to this type of grief was the best choice after all.

"It's so convenient how the Florrick's have planned this right after he announced his candidacy for the next election, and I think it's so hypocritical of Alicia Florrick to have mentioned her work is what drove the adoption. She did this purely for herself and her husband's career.."

"Alicia, don't listen to them." Marissa begged

The rain inside her veins and outside in the wind of familiar Washington howled and grew with each beat her heart repressed, and with each word that sunk into her understanding of what the world currently thought of the adoption, her courage sank, her customary mood of forlorn depression and self-doubt fell short and damp among the obvious residues of her anger.

Alicia pressed a button on the wall which made the television turn off automatically, she looked down at her little girl and smiled with hope, a sign that she hadn't given up completely yet. "You hungry baby girl? Mommy will make your favourite; princess cupcakes."

"Cupcakes for breakfast?" Marissa jumped, playing along with the game. "Who has the best mom in the world?"

/

The dining room downstairs in the main hall rung loudly with voices, Peter had invited some of his former alliances to discuss international policy, something to do with the boarders of each state, not that she cared for such unimportant issues.

Her fingers twitched at the fabric of her shirt, meeting ones sister for the first time in her late forties should have had her spirits excited, only they were the opposite. She wanted to hide and die in a ball.

"She's in there." Eli greeted her at the bottom of the staircase, Alicia shook her head, trembling at the hem of her own self-preservation, why hadn't she done this earlier? Why had it taken Will Gardner's safe opinion to lead her here? Why had she even listened to him in the first place?

"I don't want to do this anymore, can we do this another time? I think I heard Zahara cry, I have to check on her.." Alicia's poor excuses refused to intimidate Eli Gold, the mild and unfamiliar smile he offered her as a sign of encouragement was not enough in order to persuade her in moving her legs.

"Alicia come on, I went out of my way in arranging this meeting, and so did she, you can't back out now."

She made her way to edge of the room where she stopped at the doors to take a look inside, searching for the source that had led her into loosing at least half her sanity.

"How am I supposed to know which one she is?" she demanded, and Inside, people circled the area, they hadn't noticed Alicia's presence for her title as first lady hardly concerned them, she noticed some of her staff pacing back and forth, most were busy enough to dismiss the mess of papers they were creating. She understood for living in such a large house, that having control over shape was in the poor department, however she liked having a tidy house, in order to entertain her idea of self-control, at least then she could explain herself to long lost half siblings.

"Oh trust me," Eli said. "You'll know who she is when you see her." She narrowed her brows when he quickly disappeared, off with several interns at his side.

She made her way through the room, her eyes scanning each length of the area, searching for a sign of some human who was faltering just like her, who couldn't wait to get out of this place, who had any resemblance to herself or her brother.

Each member in the room was busy enough to mislead her as just another piece of furniture, some smiled at her, some didn't, she was just the wife to Peter's consolatory team, nothing more, however there was a single individual who seemed separate from the chaos, her attention placed outside the window.

Alicia's usual mood of self-doubt fell into the ground, disappearing with her selfish sense of humiliation, for when her eyes were promised a better perception of this stranger, her heart accelerated into high voltage and her veins took a pause in pumping blood.

There wasn't a finer indication of the truth, this woman was the stunning resemblance of her father, only there was a hint of some other beauty that was worth pure envy, only Alicia felt nothing but goodness as her feet forced movement and she gradually made her way to stop just several feet from where the woman stood.

"Victoria?"

If it weren't for her eyes, Alicia would have passed her as just another co-worker of Peter's team, she wore a long brown cream coat with jeans underneath and a pair of pumps that had her height strengthened into the same as Alicia's stature. Alicia had her height and her weight measured in the back of her mind, and now her father's blue eyes.

The woman in question looked at her, and Alicia looked back as if her presence was a reflection of a mirror, their features resembled so much to each other's it was uncanny, her lips, her nose, her cheekbones, the size of her ears, they could be twins if it weren't for Victoria's hair, a deep shade of blonde with light curls and a tint of brown highlights, it was short and ended an inch above her shoulders, and she was rare. That was all Alicia could come up with.

"I.." they both murmured at the same time, and then blushed at the same time.

"I'm"

"Hi."

Alicia smiled, "Hi' her voice deep with an imperceptible murmur

"You are.." she cleared her throat. "I didn't think you would show up."

"I'm sorry for making you wait" Alicia apologized. "I um, I can't lie.. I was nervous, I mean, _really_ "

"Me too" she cut in. Her voice was velvet with a hint of silk material just beneath the layers of her anxiety. "I don't have any siblings, so this is" she breathed in deeply. "this is weird."

"You don't?"

"No" Victoria looked down and Alicia bit her lip, folded her own arms and her gaze found its way to her wedding ring, a regular distraction nowadays for her marriage had never really found its way back to the fountain of love she so often wished for.

"I um.." "Do you wanna.." both woman spoke at the same time, again, they were visibly struggling with their awkward meeting, caused by the same essence of anxiety that they seemed to share.

"You go first" Victoria encouraged and then laughed, she wiped an embarrassing hand over her face.

"I was gonna ask if you wanted to go somewhere else, somewhere quiet? We could eat" she laughed awkwardly.

Victoria's eyes were a mixture of uncertainty and pleasure. "Sure."


	15. The Ambassador

AN. I'm so sorry for this:/

(but on a side note, happy holidays! lol

* * *

5 months later.

She carried Zahara in her arms as she made her way through the private area of their plane, the campaign was in need of her perseverance now that the united nations had joined forces with her material and offered some of their ambassadors to take a two week trip with herself and her team.

She would have declined if it weren't for the mere celebration of finally having the UN on her side with her own organization, though she was positive they could care less if her title as first lady wasn't the prominent feature that landed her the opportunity in the first place.

"Tired momma" Zahara spoke softly from within her tiny little voice, haloed and exhausted from their recent emergency stopover. Her words were more habitually comprehensible now that she had reached a period of growth, over the course of five months; she had learnt how to understand and value her words while simultaneously learning how to walk and eat on her own, she was everything and more than what anyone expected, changing every possible humans hearts within a mile-radius and pulling them under the spell of toddler loving charm.

"I know baby." She slipped Zahara into her seat on the plane, her baby girl slid easily from her arms to the first class of accommodation, clutching her teddy to her chest. Alicia bent over and buckled her seat-belt, a curtain of hair falling around her face, and when done, Alicia pressed a soft kiss against her nose and lowered the back of the recliner, placing a pillow behind her head. "Go sleep now baby, mommy will wake you up later on."

She sighed as she slumped into her own seat, next to the unconscious and stunning one year old. It had been a long day, having to balance her new crew in contrast with the new set of priorities that had been set out. She hadn't travelled with Zahara in more than six months, the decision to take a pause was done simply to suit her new primacies as a new parent with a demanding group of aliens who seemed to go at every expense in getting a photo of her daughter; Zahara was oblivious to the cameras of course, though her curiosity was beginning to reach its embers of disaster as it often did.

"Alicia, I would like you to meet Brad Collier, he's an ambassador with united nations and an actor from"

"Hollywood movie man himself.." she finished for him.

"It is a pleasure to have you with us Mr Collier, my name is.."

"Alicia, yea I know who you are." he chuckled, he bowed down with one hand behind his back. "Madam first lady, it is an honour." She wasn't sure whether he was mocking her, memorializing her presence, or a combination of both.

"Please, do not do that."

"My bad." He placed his hands up in defence; her need to hide her frustration from a long day failed instantly for he looked embarrassed and it only made her feel worse.

So far, her desperation to make new acquaintances on this trip was weakening; the seven different form of alliances were unique in their own way, Marian, a representative from Nigeria was here because of orders, as was Michael, and Terry, both based as representatives from the united kingdom, another representative from east Asia was also on the plane, Alicia was very familiar with her; they had conceited a lot of licenced debates over the last two years, both were very fond of each other's heated scowls. A reporter whose work amidst the UN based on children's hunger was also ordered to attend; Alicia was pleased to have her presence alluded to the team, as she shared for the second representative through the security sector of the UN and US government, he usually kept to himself, and ignored her attempt at grouping into friends.

Brad was the last of them all, she had spent a week trying to please six humanitarians, and he had spent his in the Hollywood hills playing the next idiotic superman of the box office. She wondered if his commitment to the united-nations was appropriately accurate at all, or he was simply there to haul awareness from the public as an iconic figure for publicity, she refused to care either way, knowing through her pride that he was simply the male version of Angelina Jolie, though he less inclined, less governed and probably ruled by the power prestige.

"Mrs Florrick, can we get a photo of you two for our social media account? It's already founded so many followers over the last few days." Yes, she was aware of the recognition that had launched the beginning of their colloquial movement together.

"Sure." They moved away from the seats, he was handsome from where she stood next to him, there was no doubt, maybe a little arrogant, but she was positive she looked tiny compared to his large frame, she smiled sweetly into the camera and within a few seconds he pulled away from her and smiled with a sense of humility, she was absolutely sure that he knew her disdain in his absence over the course of their tiring week on the road and she wasn't about to cut down on the intense schedule for him either.

When the pilot announced the beginning of their take-off, she buckled into her seatbelt, Marissa sat on the other side of Zahara, and she looked down at her daughter. The space in which the creamy leather seats offered, made her chubby child appear tiny, and she ran a hand through her soft silky hair out of conscience; feeling absolutely heart-stricken that she had dragged Zahara with her on this trip.

When they were finally in air, and they were allowed to unbuckle, Brad, who sat behind her, rescued himself from his seat and ran to the front of the plane where he caught everyone's attention. They were all familiar with each other, she noticed, and she was the outsider waiting among the gates to be let in. The new kid at school.

"Hi everyone, I just want to apologize for my absence over the last week" he spoke loudly. If her child wasn't such a deep sleeper, she would have scolded him for his volume. "I know you have all been working really hard, this campaign is so big internationally, I find myself on the verge of a heart attack already." She heard laughs echo the plane, and tried her best at refraining from rolling her eyes.

"But in that, I would personally like to congratulate the leading lady herself, it's not every day that the UNGA joins forces with another campaign, Mrs Florrick, thank you for everything you do."

He brought her a box of chocolates, her jaw dropped in response and Marissa jumped, clapping her hands like a crushed teenager. "Thank you.." she was gobsmacked at his generosity.

"You're welcome. Can I call you Alicia now? Or do I have to stick to the same boring traditional standings?"

"Of course you can, You really didn't have to buy me chocolates though…"

"Of course I did, that's the formal thing to do isn't?"

She nodded, "Thank you" roused by his genuine humility, endeavoured towards his charm and kind smile, she smiled and shared conversation with him for the next hour.

/

"Zahara baby, wanna talk to dadda?" her little girl nodded, eagerly, stretching her arms up from her seat. Alicia lifted her onto her lap, Peter had enough time that morning in the US to skype, needing Alicia's advice on national policy and other boring matters, however there was only ever one concept that Peter and Alicia shared good opinion on, and that only ever came down to their daughter.

Alicia placed one earpiece into Zahara's ear so she could make out Peter's words, there wasn't much sense of privacy on the plane, Brad was the only individual asleep, the rest were awake and in the peripheral zone of her vision, she could feel their attention on the small child's reaction to her father's industrial presence.

"Dadda home"

"That's right honey, I'm home, wanna come back now?" he smiled

"I stay with momma?" she whispered. Peter nodded with understanding, the disappointment in his features was visible but she didn't care, playing the victim always seemed to come hand in hand with him, twice its size now that Zahara depended on Alicia the most.

"I know" he said. "Are you being good for mommy?" Zahara nodded her head and Alicia brushed her bangs from her forehead, pressing a soft kiss against her golden forehead.

"Always."

"Eli's prodding me right now, I have to go, but will talk later?"

"Sure. Wanna say goodbye to daddy baby?" Zahara leant forward, touched the computer with her little chubby hand and kissed the computer screen. Alicia laughed, her heart pounding with joy.

Peter smiled, waved goodbye, Alicia ignored him and closed the computer screen. Their relationship had been tense over the last five months, his affair with his campaign donator, Vanessa, from three years ago had _almost_ been exposed to the press, photos had surfaced to the ground of the two of them together in hotel suites, eating dinner, holding hands. The billionaire in Vanessa was foolish to think that Alicia didn't know, however the pragmatist in the woman must have known the repercussions of such foolish actions; even when Alicia and Will were a combat affair, they never appeared together in public places, it was forbidden.

"I don't think you and Peter could be anymore awkward in each other's presence even if you blindfolded yourself to hold his hand." Said Marissa

"Marissa please" she sighed, her fingers began to unloosen the knots in her child's hair, pinning it back into a nice fish plat.

"I'm just pin-pointing the obvious, you deserve to be happy Alicia," The sentimental qualities of her words, which were based from an honest perspective of a friend – she was sure. Were benevolent enough to put a sad smile on Alicia's face. "Thank god we were able to rid those photos of Vanessa from all those events." finished Marissa.

Alicia sighed. "In two weeks, I am going to spend a weekend with my sister in her massive isolated house out in the woods of Chicago, call me then and ask me if I'm happy, and I'm positive I can answer your concern."

"I'm sure Victoria wouldn't appreciate a bunch of men camping outside her house for two days."

Alicia smiled, yes, her sister was just as stubborn as she was; a jean they were both familiar with. "She will get over it. She always does."

* * *

Observing his preternatural guise through the mirror gave him an odd feeling of unfamiliar weakness, Will always found himself exposed to falling in moments like these; what was he doing? What was he thinking?

The crisp white diamond ring that held firmly in between his thumb and index finger glided across pods of glistening rainbows among the rays of sun that gushed through its appealing presence. Macey loved the ring, Sara thought it was too safe, and Aubrey's significant disdain over his choice in marital companions was not exactly like his own, her opinion was one of tradition and love, she believed in the fairy tales, unfortunately his life wasn't one, and so sacrifice at the expense of his child's happiness was the best option for everybody.

"Daddy huwwy up!" he laughed to himself, his two years old's impatience getting the better of him, he found her sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You look like a prince daddy"

"and you look like a princess in your night ware baby, are you ready for bed?"

"Aunt Sara has chocolate drink for me."

He didn't like the sound of that, "Relax Will" he heard his sisters voice from behind. "It's just hot chocolate to put her to sleep."

"Good, not too much sweet stuff Sara."

"Hello? Anybody home?" Samantha's voice echoed the front doorway, she was here to pick him up for dinner.

Macey jumped off the bed and ran downstairs, her feet barely able to keep up with the steps as she clung onto the rail. "Samy!"

"Hi!" Samatha took her in her arms, she was good with kids, she would make a perfect mother one day, on occasion she disliked Macey's adventures with getting dirty; Samatha was prim and liked expensive clothes that played an essential part in avoiding stains, but regardless, she was perfect.

She wasn't the love of his life, he didn't think he could ever exceed to that fountain of love at this point in his life, but she was good for him, she was good for Macey.

"Hey babe" she said, kissing his cheek.

"Hey" he smiled down at her, she wore a beautiful dress, her loose blonde curls above her shoulders.

"Ready?" she asked,

"Yes" he took Macey into his arms and kissed her forehead. "Daddy is going now baby, I wont be too long, I promise."

"I come too daddy?" she asked through her lashes

"No sweetheart"

"maybe another time" Samatha said.

Macey smiled up at her, as if she hung the world and made it spin. "we play too Sammy?"

"Of course, one day when I'm not as busy. You can blame daddy's firm and his colleagues for that sweetheart."

Will smiled lightly, "Okay, let's go."

* * *

"The outside of sudan is dangerous, but the inside of it is average, with families and children trapped inside, if we just get inside, give enough influence for them to move out, we could move them to better conditions."

Brad said, they sat at the table in the designated house they were catered to. He was extraordinarily passionate about his work with the UN – she noticed. She had misjudged him harshly, his actions in the last few days proved that much to her; he was twice a human being than she ever was.

"That is all fantastic Mr Collier" Steve said with a hint of sarcasm. "But my facility will not allow Mrs Florrick to settle in the middle of sudan, especially with the war going on over there. Radicals will track her down and kill her because of who she is. All six of you can travel there, Mrs Florrick is my responsibility and she is staying here."

Alicia was close to objecting, but allowed Brad to pave the way for her next movement. "This will only take a couple of hours, I can promise you that much sir, we need her in this, she's the face of hope for all them, if we lead her into the building, will be walking out with everything that we have ever worked hard for"

"Listen to me" Steve moved closer to where he sat. "Her husband is one of the most powerful men in the world. He has power over the military, the war that continues each day is ordered by his lead. War is a form of revenge, and killing the president's wife is Christmas eve for them. If something happens to her, _all_ of you, go down."

Alicia closed her eyes, the degrees of cold stone finally reaching down on her, this was the expense of being Peter's wife, she knew this would happen, she knew Steve would put up a fight.

"Steve is right" she looked into Brad's sharp eyes. "As much as I want to go, I can't risk it, I have never stepped foot in Sudan and there is more than one reason why."

"Fine" Brad withdrew. "We leave tonight and will be back in the morning, Alicia can stay."

* * *

"The food here is amazing Will." Samantha was saying, he pulled his thoughts away from his wine glass, his shoulders felt tense, his heart was damp with an unfamiliar feeling, his soul was aching, inside his body was trembling – he had no idea why.

Concern shook through him for the only woman who could possibly inflict this type of behaviour after such a long absence from one another. A feeling of fear and longing for her safety was sentimental to him, and also terrifyingly familiar.

"Will?"

"Yes?"

"I was just talking about the food, it's great?"

"Oh yea" he took her hand from across the table. "I'm sorry babe, my head, I have a lot on my mind.."

"Wanna talk about it?" she finished her desert, placing her napkin on the table.

"Maybe.. Are you up for a walk?"

She pulled her brows together, "Um okay? Are you finished with your food?"

"Yes, I wasn't really that hungry anyway. Should we go?" he got up and took her coat, draping it around her shoulders and assisting her with her chair. She smiled up at him, pecked his lips. "You are such a gentlemen."

They walked towards the park, her arm tucked in his. _She's good for me._ He convinced himself as she conversed between topics of sport and soccer tournaments and what she thought about the law, her opinion's cliché but worthy of his attention nonetheless.

"Are you happy Sam?"

"Happy? What do you mean?"

"With me? With us?"

"Yes" she suddenly sounded insecure. "Why? Are you not?"

He stopped them, behind a bush of roses with fairy lights hanging above. "I am" he battled. "You make me happy, you make my daughter happy. I want you in my life Samantha. I love you, and I'm sorry for being so distant lately.. I've been thinking and.. I don't know.." He got down on one knee, pulling the velvet box from his back pocket, he opened its content to display the striking pod of diamonds. "Will you marry me?"

His knee trembled on the ground, his breath endeavoured against the cold wind, but levelled by his own sense of security; he wasn't as nervous as one should be on the night that was supposed to be his happiest of all.

She paused and looked down at him, her pupils huge, her features incomprehensible among the blow of realisation. Several seconds of silence flowed by, she began to tear up, which wasn't the greatest sign, then she screeched loudly, a grin tugging to her lips.

"Yes! Of course I will!" she cried.

* * *

Alicia pressed her lips against the crown of Zahara's head, tucked in her bed, unconscious and beautiful as always, Alicia gradually removed herself and slipped into her boots. Marissa slept in the room next to theirs, Alicia would only be absent for less than a few hours, though she had left a note anyway.

The clock read 11;30pm. Kenya was just beginning to descend into the night sky , the excess of its stunning orange highlights in its rare sunsets leaving a trail of evidence to testify in its favour of pure beauty. She had been here enough times to witness its flaunting landscapes and amiable people.

Alicia knocked on Marissa's door and allowed herself in, she forced herself to wake her former assistant. "I'm going, I won't be long. If Zahara wakes up, there is a bottle prepared in the refrigerator."

"How are you gonna get passed Steve and the rest of the men?"

"I forced them into drinking herbal tea before they left for bed, I told them it was good for the senses, they will be knocked out."

"I doubt it, but good luck." She dug herself back into the covers, reversing back into unconsciousness.

She tip-toed passed Steve's room, and peaked inside, he was asleep, on the bed, completely comatosed as expected; she smiled, her mission completed. She passed the remaining rooms with ease, and found herself to the second floor; downstairs, she could hear voices, one of her agents and the housekeeper. "Shit" she cursed, her peripheral vision instantly led to the nearby window where car lights from below caught her attention; there, she spotted two vehicles lined up for the journey, five of her familiar alliances jumped into one SUV, which soon descended down the driveway. She spotted Marian and Michael slip into the back seat of the second car, this was her chance, she opened the window where vines grew down the walls, absent of any source of material for her to use as leverage.

"Brad!" she hissed from above, his head flew back from where he stood at the boot, packing gear into the back.

"Alicia?" said he, "What the hell are you doing up there?"

"Shh! Be quiet, help me get down!"

"Are you… shit, wait there." He threw the boot down, quietly, and then dropped his other bag into the driver's seat. She had already started climbing down, thankful for her light weight, scolding her long legs for its incompetence in keeping place; she felt like she was seventeen again, running off with her boyfriend.

She heard the voices of her agent inside the house getting closer, and quickly shut the window, ducked her head down, her fingers slipped from the vines and she took a deep breath.

"Okay wait," Brad said from below. "Just fall down Alicia, the vines are slipping, I will catch you."

"Brad, I'm going to break your neck."

"Listen to me, I've held three times your size. Please, just fall down, it's only twelve feet high."

"Twelve?" she hissed, she closed her eyes and fixed into his gesture, trusting him, and fooling herself when she collapsed on top of him. They both fell down to the ground, she slipped away from him quickly, assessing the damage and repairing her gaze to adjust to his.

"Are you all right?" Alicia panicked

"Yes, it was just a fall." His toned body stood up from the ground, wiping the dust off his shoulder. She envied him, she envied his physique and natural appeal.

"Catch me huh?"

"You were heavier than I thought."

"You still want me to join you?"

"I'm not entirely sure that it's a good idea Alicia" he pleaded

"I think it's a great idea,." She patted his shoulder. "Come along, I can show you."

The flight was just over an hour, the plane small with the seven of them and their pilot, idly quiet with a sense of nostalgia, caused by nothing less than the knowledge that what they were heading into was more than a warzone. They arrived on the outskirts of the city, near the village Brad identified with; he told her stories of how people were treated there; stories that she was aware of, he explained with greater detail.

They were led into two separate cars once more, this time he sat at the back with her, she was tumbling into his company, they identified with each other in ways that nobody else could ever sincerely understand. He knew the force of their jobs, he knew the general struggle in sacrificing one's self in-trade for a better humanity, he knew the cost of fame, he knew the lack of normality in their lives, he understood her passion for children.

They pulled into a stop, out in the desert where houses and abandoned buildings sat scattered as if god's greatest gift wasn't enough to satisfy anyone's needs; and it wasn't, it wasn't. It never was.

Two of the ambassadors in the front SUV got out of the car to use the public restroom, and she looked out in the aurora that had formed itself into the dark night sky.

Green, a dark orange and a heavy navy blue lit up like silk patterns among the stars.

"This place is stunning at night." Said Alicia

"I don't think there is anyone else but us two who value it either." He replied

"Why is that? Why do we care so much?" her attention shifted to his gaze where he sat across from her, seatbelt tucked in.

"I don't understand."

"We are here, because we want to help. We're trying to make the world a better place because as humans, it's in our nature to care. But why? Why Africa? Why not America, why not our own home soil? Don't you ever wonder about the human species and why we care at all? If I cared less, my life would be so much more easier." As unfriendly of a sentence, they were probably the most selfish, torn words she would ever hear from her mouth.

"I know" he heaved a sigh. She was appreciative that he understood her scale. "I know for certain that you grew up in a wealthy family, good parents, steady lifestyle, I had that too. My father was an actor as well and my mother was a model. When you and I come to places like this, it sticks with us, like your first fall off a bike. It affects us enormously because we feel unpleasant knowing that we had a good life and others didn't. We probably had good parents too; not all children are raised to love so much. Maybe that is why we are here."

She sat still, her mind pondering his words, the light that entered her perspective was so much more promising than the one before; though his words were probably stretched from one of his chestnut movies or ridiculous screen plays. She smiled at him with soft eyes. "Maybe you're right."

He nodded, the same expression of content, he wasn't like the others; her false friends back in Washington who only ever sought for her out of her title towards Peter.

Alicia ought to shift her glance from him, but she was unsuccessful as his gaze rested impatiently outside the window and she admired him. "What is taking them so long?" he asked the driver.

"They shouldn't be long sir." He announced.

Brad shifted, and suddenly the street lights vanished into obscene darkness. "The power in the village must have ran out again." He muttered under his breath.

"Stay in here, I won't long; I'm going to see what is taking them so long." His large bicep – which was the size of her waist – flexed as he slipped out of the large SUV.

Her breath was uneasy as he walked towards the public toilets, his ease sinuous against the bracing sand and out of the corner of her eye, she caught two shadows against the wall of the small restroom. She refused to believe that anything was right here.

Two men with rifles sprinted across the village and onto the other side once distinguishing Brad's figure, they were running away, inclined by something dangerous.

Brad was oblivious to the male figures, she glanced around, the wind had suddenly ceased at moving and the crickets who only seconds ago were singing among the dark, had suddenly taken a turn of silence.

"Brad" she pushed the car door open and ran for him.

"Brad!" she was only a few meters behind his shoulder when the explosion ensued and her body sailed backwards into thin air, landing jaggedly on the ground, the full force of its blazing horizon damaging her senses.


	16. The Bomb

Repaired by the pang of sudden recognition, her left ear sung with hammering pain as she stood on both feet and searched for any sign of humanity. The car that she had only recently occupied was ruined only several feet away with flames demolishing the outside of it.

The smoke that had taken over the shattered village built a horrible and unhealthy cough within her chest, she covered her mouth and nose and stumbled her way through the haze of dusty toxic smoke.

Running towards the vehicle, she searched inside for the other two UN ambassadors and found nothing, that being in comparison to the driver who remained in the front seat. His head had a gash and his eyes closed, she searched his pulse and immediately dragged the door open, unbuckling his seat, she tried in earnest desire to wake him, but it was miserable for he responded with nothing other than a thick but veil pulse-line. She dragged him from the car and onto the pavement; acknowledging the fortunate aura of her personal trainer who without, her arms would be just as weak as her legs.

"Wake up wake up wake up!" she yelled, holding his face.

"Alicia!" came another, yet familiar voice. Brad's robust appeal emerged through the hollow dust, and just like his movies – only less surreal – was the imitation of his sooth appearance that ultimately led her into breathing a sigh of relief. He was here, alive.

"Brad" she cried. "What the fuck has happened?"

"I think it was a planned explosion. I need to get you out of here."

"Where is everybody else?" she demanded

"I don't know" he revealed. "I've spent the last minutes trying to find Marian and Michael but it's as if they've disappeared."

"What about the others?"

"Terry and Melissa.." he faltered. "They're gone."

Her eyes instantly dropped. "They were in the restroom weren't they?"

"Yes" said Brad. "The explosion was planted behind the building."

"Who would do this!" she cried. "Who?"

"I don't know Alicia, but we have to go. It's not safe here.."

"We have to take this guy with us"

"We don't even know who he is. He might have been a part of the ploy, he was the one who ordered we stop here."

"I don't care. Innocent or not, he doesn't deserve to die. I'm not leaving here without him."

Brad sighed, bending down and taking the grown man behind his shoulder. "Why do you have to be so goddamn nice."

* * *

Nurtured with great love, a sense of success, a child to adore, and now a woman to grow fond of, Will still felt a sense of heavy weakness in his soul, as if half of it had been ripped apart from its chosen partner, one who he hadn't seen in less than five months. Will wasn't one for clichés or beliefs systems regarding overstretched story-tales, but he was a father, and he was once a lover, therefore he understood the sentimental beliefs that came with pure instinct.

"What's wrong?" Samantha mumbled from sleep, her arms slowly slipping from his as he stepped off the bed. He pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. "Nothing, go back to sleep."

Downstairs was quiet, the view of the lake outside his kitchen inclined half his sanity, giving him a chance to stretch and admire how far he had truly come. Three years ago he only had Alicia, the greatest gift that could ever have graced his life at the time, but that was history now – he convinced himself.

Her presence was the form of a pattern that had led him to starve, and then eventually endeavour. He had a life now, Macey, the dream house, and a loving fiancé. He would now longer allow himself the pain of waiting for a woman who could never, truly be his.

He threw on some shorts, a shirt, running shoes and hooked his earphones in before exiting the house and running his usual route of five k's. He had to take advantage in Samantha's supervision in the house this morning

He paused to stretch, an ambulance raced past with warning signs and he frowned. It was five in the morning and who could possibly fall on embers of disaster at this point in the morning?

Roused by the same sentiment of unease within his broken soul, he made his way back home and jumped in the shower, he leaned his weight against the tiled wall and closed his eyes as warm water poured among vulnerability.

He thought of Alicia, the contrast from her beautiful smile to Samantha's was beyond any possible woman that could embellish his sight and life, Alicia would always be the one and there simply was nobody who could remotely compete. He felt horrible for even comparing it, Samantha was a beautiful woman, she deserved to be loved just as much as she deserved the best, as stout and as a healthy love it may be amid them, he knew deep down that he could never claim his soul to hers.

He would never forgive himself for taking advantage in Samantha's connection with his daughter, but he promised himself that he would love her forever.

"Sam.. do you know where my tie is.." he announced, then stopped as he distinguished the loss of her from his bed. He passed Macey's room, she was still asleep, he pressed a soft kiss against her forehead and made his way downstairs where the distinct sound of the coffee machine alerted his nostrils and the ring of the kitchen television circled the bottom living area.

Sam stood in front of the tv screen, her mouth agape with half made coffee beans scattered along the bench. He pressed a kiss against her shoulder. "I thought you had runaway"

"Shhh!" she demanded, her attention firm on the tv reports.

"The first lady of united states was hit in the middle of an explosion early hours this morning, she was reported to be In the middle of sudan, a city she has since ignored from the beginning of her organization. We have not received any details at this point, her security team were absent of her arrival in the city last night and she was thus last seen with UN ambassador Brad Collier before the explosion struck."

Will remained quiet, whilst Samantha turned with tense shoulders and searched his gaze. Standard photos of Alicia greeted the screen, her smile, her striking but natural appeal, her environmental draw to others. A single image of her in Cambodia with a little asian boy sitting on her lap graced the screen, she was smiling as they played soccer.

He imagined her blistered and dead, and he couldn't vision a world that made any sense after a level of such emotional torment. Poverty seems grim to grown people, however Will was already contemplating it for himself.

"I'm sure she's fine." Samantha consoled. "That story doesn't make sense. Her security troops wouldn't leave her absent, would they? It doesn't make sense."

Will's eyes were still dead to the world as he answered, perhaps sucked in by the unfulfilled prophecy of physically losing her this time. "No it doesn't."

* * *

They climbed into the car, Brad was the weight that held her when she felt like crumbling; she wanted Zahara and she wanted home, but she also craved to help the others and none of it seemed inclined towards anyone's best interest, her presence only seemed to drive additional harm rather than cease it.

Brad had found the four ambassadors who had fled from the scene, fuming with outrage for their disappearance on himself and Alicia. Their excuses weren't nearly as suitable for Alicia's ears; she had zoned out several hours ago when she made her best effort in assisting the injured refugees of the village; the guilt of their wounds traumatising her own self-assurance. Any sign of violent grief was heard only metres away; the full force of the explosion had damaged more than just herself.

However madness they had conceived themselves into, she felt insufferable pain when they drove past torn homes.

"Hey" Brad brought her attention. "Alicia, you alright?"

She looked at him with broken eyes, emotionally wrecked. Everything takes what is strong already, and then destroys it until the damage is completed and the stage of repair is just a mere façade, she thought.

"My daughter.." she murmured.

"Your assistant said she was fine, will be there soon, I promise." He insisted.

She looked at his striking features, and for the first time she noticed the big gash on his arm and the blood on his forehead. She recalled the paramedics attending to his severe injuries and her less significant ones, she remembered his arm around her shoulder and her head on his when she cried her face into his chest. .

"I need to call my kids… and my husband..."

"We will do that when we return, where it's safe."

She shook her head, mentally challenging her own ire and burning tears. "Hey" she wiped her own tears and he hushed her sobs. Fearful of any sign of weakness for him to bend over her with pity, she pulled away but he was there before she could collapse completely. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder like before. She could share her experience with him because he was the only one who truly understood. "I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for what happened today."

* * *

Will's office had changed since Macey was born; the wallpaper was light grey, a hint of home for when Macey visited. There was a play area for her in the corner, the sofas were white, bookshelves were antique, imported in from Europe. Photos of Macey were a constant source of oxygen in the area, branching from when she was just an infant. He remembered her birth, she was seven weeks premature and failed on surviving on her own merit for Callie's short detox period from drugs was the lead effect that suffered his little girl on the first days of her unexpected arrival.

He remembered the bizarre stab of agony when finding his new-born child howling in the grove of painful uncertainty, he had never experienced anything even at all distantly similar, and he needed Alicia then just as much as he needed her now, safe in his arms, reassuring him that they had a chance to repair the past.

"Mr Gardner" his assistant knocked on the door. "Your daughter is here sir." Perfect timing.

"Thank you Monica." The engagement ring that settled on his finger felt heavy with guilt, but witnessing the smile on his child's face that morning when Samantha met her at the foot of the breakfast table was heaven on earth, worth his selfish remorse.

"My favourite princess is here" he announced his presence in the empty foyer. Macey stood with a lollipop in her hand, her backpack settled on her shoulders and her left hand settled safely in the palm of her preschool teacher.

"Thank you so much for dropping her off." Will said once he received his evening hug from his little girl.

"You're welcome Mr Gardner." She replied. "I must go now, can't miss the six aclock news." She smiled, bent down to her student. "We learnt so much today didn't we? What is two plus two Macey?" she asked.

"A window!" his daughter replied.

He laughed as he carried her towards his office, she cuddled into him and greeted a kiss against his shirt. "Hi daddy."

His day lit up, as it often did with one movement from an innocent heart of a two year old who owned his completely.

"Hi baby. Daddy is sorry for another late night."

"It's okay" she smiled up at him with happy eyes. "We have fun in the office." She explained

Will chuckled. "We do don't we?"

The fun had begun once Cary spotted Macey through the glass walls of his office and bribed her with sweats and ice cream. Macey looked up at her father as he explained to his business partner that she needed dinner first, of course Cary won a fair argument, with the exception of Macey's puppy eyes, she stretched her arms up at Cary and his smile in response was indistinguishable among a normal humane level of happiness. Perhaps Cary would be the last of Macey's charmed victims.

Will shook his head in frustration when Diane offered more sweats as a lure into her arms, he watched as his daughter hugged her too, and thus the power held over the founders of his efficacious business was none other than his 2 year old daughter, she was in total demand, testing the capabilities she had crayoned from her charisma.

Nonetheless, he was grateful for his partners enterprise with his daughter when it came to challenging nights like this one. "Hey" Diane knocked on the glass door. Coat in hand, car keys in the other.

"I have to go to dinner. Macey is playing with the secretary at the front desk, she's answering calls." Diane laughed. "You'll be alright?" the question was born from friendly habit, though he felt a bit less inclined to answer. Nothing was alright, nothing would ever be close enough.

"Yes, I should be okay."

Will nodded, still dazed from the morning's events, he forced a smile, though he knew she could read through the exterior. They hadn't spoken of Alicia at this point, Diane was careful and Will was seedless inside, empty.

She looked at him with sympathy, and left.

* * *

The air was cold when they landed in Kenya, her skin froze among the humid ground of Africa. They were only a few miles away from Zahara, at this point she felt like running for her little girl.

Her heart shaking with violent grief for the uncertain cries of her child echoed in her head, Zahara was an innocent baby who had an attachment to her mother and they had never been apart for this long, it was hard, knowing that she had subjected herself and her child to this situation in the first place.

"Momma!" cries of happiness screeched the house into pieces. Alicia fell to her child's height as Zahara jumped on her.

She was expecting tears instead of laughter, she was prepared for the major tantrum that came inclined from her cold absence, but as always, Zahara was simply joyous to be in her arms again and Alicia's heart almost caressed into mending the damaged pieces, _almost._

"Mrs Florrick" Steve's deep, fatigued voice broke through the panels of her and her child's wall of love. He was hesitant but also agitated.

"We are going home."

"Steve, I'm sorry.."

"We are going home, your husband's orders. Not mine."

"I wanna talk to my kids first.." she pleaded.

"Phones are off; they were tapped. You can use the phone once we are in the air."

"Steve.."

"Mrs Florrick we're on a tight schedule. I promise you can call your family soon."

"Steve look at me!" the room continued in silence, Zahara's grip tightened on her shoulder fiercely. "I am sorry for going against your orders. I take full responsibility for what I did, none of you will have any trouble with the chief of staff when we arrive home."

"We were never worried about our jobs Mrs Florrick." He deadpanned. "We were worried about you, there will be a doctor waiting on the plane to check over yourself and Mr Collier."

"Woah wait" Brad fought. "I'm not going home, I have to attend to the aftermath of the explosion.. Alicia may be finished but I'm not."

"Mr Collier, with all due respect, that is actually not up to you. You have also been ordered to return back to the UN headquarters in New York."

"Oh great" Brad mumbled. "I'm about to get sacked for forcing the first lady into a warzone." Marissa was the only individual in the room who laughed.

/

"Your chest doesn't sound good Mrs Florrick" the doctor explained. "It's sounds like a bad case of an infection."

"Momma hurt." Zahara's eyes were mixed with grief as she touched the patch of blood on Alicia's forehead.

"No baby" Alicia claimed. "Momma is fine."

"You are not fine." Her doctor argued. "Your wounds haven't been tended to in more than ten hours, your breathing is low, and your blood pressure keeps dropping."

"Well then fix it before we return home. The last thing we need is more unfiltered headlines. I want all the attention directed back onto sudan." Her doctor remained quiet as he managed the large gash on Brads shoulder. "But first I need a shower." She stood up from her seat on the plane, Zahara sat occupied with Brad's toddler charming ways, her giggles resounding throughout the plane, Alicia displayed her gratitude for his presence with a soft smile.

Marissa engaged with her in the small restroom, Alicia sat with her arms wrapped around her knees and her head bowed as Marissa wiped the blood off silver skin with the hand held shower head. "It's all my fault" she repeated

"No" Marissa tried. "It's not, don't blame yourself." She felt less stout, less staunch, less nourished in what was strong already but no longer exists, she hated her own familiar slope of weakness and she was convinced that even one good poem from Will Gardner would starve her either way.

"Don't give up" Marissa pushed on her shoulders.

She sighed, cold and dark and scared in her own hollow little world. She was grateful that Zahara was in the other room, occupied and happy with her little audience. She felt fortunate for Zach and Grace, she convinced herself that they were happy with their life in Will's law firm, though the strangeness of such a picture made her heart grow a desperate visionary staircase for her to walk back into his life.

"Come on" Marissa held her. "Let's get you dressed and fix your face, I can't have you looking like a living monster for your concerned staff." If her mood of self-dire wasn't out shadowing her sense of humour, caused by nothing else than her own foolish false sense of security, she probably would have laughed, but she tried her best at a warm smile.

* * *

Will felt desperate, on his knees, begging in a universe where nobody understood his battle. The news anchor's words reminded him that she was safe, for now, though his clenched chest remained in its helpless magnetism towards Alicia's choking pull.

They were miles apart, a country in distance, and several billion steps away but he could still feel her pain, he could still feel the everlasting damage that came with their past and torn future. He worried for her little girl, if something terrible had happened to her too, his concern built naturally on the foundation of having his own only several steps away from him in, absorbed in her toys.

"Daddy we go home soon please?" she asked sweetly from where she sat on the sofa.

He smiled over at her, his life depended on her happiness. "Give me five more minutes baby and will pack up, you've been a really good girl." The two year old grinned with pride, her eyes a reflection of her fathers.

He removed the trail of CNN videos rotating Alicia from his computer screen, exiting out of the disaster that had changed his day to catastrophe misfortune. He wondered how he would sleep that night, if he would sleep at all, maybe he was better off drowning himself in a bottle of whiskey.

In theory, Samantha was staying over for the night, as she did most nights, and she disliked alcohol – but Alicia loved alcohol. Alicia's character was similar to his that it felt out of place to dismiss the humble comparison, she could handle her liquor, she could handle his too.

However that lifestyle felt a decade old, and a day too young for him to forget.

"Knock knock" his attention instantly moved to the door where surprise flooded his features.

"Grace.." she was dressed in a pair a jeans, boots underneath and a shirt that seemed a few inches bigger than her. He recognised it from someplace, though he failed at enlisting it into the frail box of familiar memories. Maybe it was Alicia's? or maybe it was nothing.

"I didn't think you'd be in.. but anyway, I went over our cross examination for tomorrow, I also wrote several pages for the defences last tactic and ours in reaction.. It's taken me a while to get used to it but I think I finally understand why.." he began to zone out through her conversation, not intentionally, not uncivil in anyway, just quiet.

He noticed the void of makeup on her skin, her eyes were red for the tears that she had built had finally made its path down the familiar road of sadness that they seemed to share in mutual anxiety for the same person.

"Grace, have you been in all day?"

"What? No" her cheeks went red. "I came in this morning but Cary forced me to take the day off because he is an ass…. Anyway, I went home and studied but I have everything here, I'm prepared Will, I am." He could read through the rush of her voice that she had probably consumed the overall limit of coffee.

"I know you are" said Will.

"But you have to rest at some point okay? I will have your back if anything goes wrong tomorrow Grace, just go home and sleep."

"I.." she was flustered. "But I worked so hard, I can't sleep now, this is my last case for the firm."

"You're still planning on going to London next week?"

"Well.." her shoulders slumped as she slowly sat down. "I.. I don't know anymore, I might go home instead.. spend some time with family." Alicia. "I really appreciate everything that you and Diane have done for me Will, but I really wanna travel. This internship in London is the perfect opportunity to get away."

"So correct me if I'm wrong.. You're leaving a new, and full time job, that pays over ninety grand a year, just so you can go to London and clerk for some boring judge?"

She giggled, her smile wasn't the same one that had ninety percent of the young men in his firm falling at their knees, it was wretched into forlorn sadness that ultimately left him worried.

"Daddy look! I made a tower" Macey's voice lifted the gloom in Grace's eyes once she distinguished the small human in the corner of the room. Macey sat with pink lego toys taller than herself.

Grace gradually moved from her seat, to Macey's side where she bent down and smiled with a lenient grin that Will had never seen before.

"You must be Macey, I've heard a lot about you." Grace stretched a hand out, and to Will's surprise, Macey took it and dragged her to her side where Grace was forced to sit.

"Are you a princess?" Macey looked up at her as if she made angles spin.

Grace smiled. "No.. but I know a couple of princesses."

Macey's brows reached towards the sky. "Do you know Cinderella?"

Grace levelled herself into surprise, "I do actually.. well sort of.."

"Do you wanna play?" Grace was weak to decline.

"I would love to."

Will interrupted, "Mase, we have to go soon, its nearly bedtime and you haven't had anything to eat."

"But Will!" Grace whined, "We're playing"

Grace knew the trouble she was fundamentally causing with her teasing, he shook his head in response and she raised her brow as if questioning his intelligence was worth the tittering execrations that came directly from Macey, he was positive that Grace had, unfortunately, claimed another attached child into her arms.

"Yea daddy" Mace bossed her father as she often did. "We're playing."

It had been fifteen minutes into their domestic assembly, where Grace exchanged her name and Macey fell for her magical tricks. Will was tired and he wondered how his own child's alert system was so conscious. And to make the situation more difficult, Zach's influx to collect his sister was another form that outlined Macey's curiosity when Zach announced his presence. He knocked on the door, beamed over at Will, and then looked down at his middle sibling. "Grace we're going, I have paperwork to do tonight."

"Zach! Don't be rude! You could at least say hi to her."

"To who?" Grace moved away where Will's daughter stood with deep hazel eyes, she smiled up at him.

"Macey, this is my brother, Zach this Is Macey, Will's daughter."

"oh right" Zach's brow lifted over at his boss. "Wow Will, she looks way too cute to be yours."

"Zach I don't even know what that means"

Zach smiled over at the child, and then switched into isolation. "Grace, I've had barely any sleep for the last twenty four hours, I'm sure you can relate. We're going." He demanded.

Grace looked at him with ice-cold eyes, reminded Will of her mother when anger had reached the peak of her stubborn mountain. "Don' . . We're not in DC.. Say hi to Macey" she demanded

"HI" Zach said defeated, "Can we go now?"

"Don't worry little one" Grace was sweet with Macey. "He's just grumpy. He _loves_ children, he's completely fallen on his head for our little sister."

Macey's brows perked. "You have little sister?"

Grace's gaze was soft now. "Yes, and you remind me a bit of her too."

"Do you have a mommy?" Macey's eyes were killingly soft with swelled, innocent interest and a hint of a sadness. It struck Zach, it peaked Grace attentiveness and it squeezed Will's heart into broken pieces.

"Yes.." Grace struggled. "But I don't really know where she is." She laughed underneath the layer of inflating insecurity. She returned back to the young girl who, only moments prior her embellishment with his daughter, was a destroyed twenty two year old trying to claim towards her boss that she was fine and less worried than he was for the only woman who could lead him into contemplating suicide. How could anyone ever go through this? He thought. How could Alicia selfishly do this to them?

Zach cleared his throat, feeling all the more awkward than anyone else, for the heat of the conversation seemed to strike his emotional capabilities as well.

"Hey Macey" This time, it was Zach who bent down to her height. "I bet you're a bigger baseball fan then your dad right?"

Macey looked at him in pure childlike disgust and shook her head passionately. "Na uh.. I don't like it when daddy yells the same things to the tv."

"Hmm, I can relate. What about burgers, do you like burgers?"

"Yes" she eyed him cautiously.

"Wanna go get some? I still owe your dad dinner."

She looked up at him as if he answered all her prince charming prayers, her beauty and sweetness for a two year old seemed almost impeccable, Zach thought, as she answered cheerfully. "yes!"

* * *

AN, first post of 2016! i hope you all had a good one. This chapter took me too long, as the ridiculous long length of it probably explained lol. Thank you all for the passionate responses xx


	17. The Shooting

Zahara's gorgeous giggles echoed among the kitchen of their private wing. She sat on the counter with Peter, her own personal clown for the morning. No substance could ever deny the knowing fact, that regardless of his failings in their marriage, he was a wonderful father, though his current relationship with his eldest children seemed to testify against it, that was probably a conversation promised for another day.

"Okay, I'm almost finished packing, have you seen her hoodie? The little Georgetown replica Grace got her.."

"It should be in the laundry room, I put it through the dryer last night."

Alicia gaped in mock. "You did washing? Seriously?"

Peter simply smiled. "Yes, it was a shock to the system actually, I haven't done laundry in almost four years and I forgot how the machine works."

"Welcome to humanity Mr President."

Alicia placed the last item inside the suitcase and moved them into the living room where Steve anticipated for loading into the car. "Don't feed her too much, she won't eat her lunch."

"You're still going to that?" Peter asked, lifting Zahara onto his hip. If he wasn't careful, he would juggle pear sauce on his blouse.

"Yes. I have to discuss campaign stuff with Brad. Come on baby" she stretched her arms out for her one year old. "One last kiss for dada."

They exchanged tiny hugs and slippery kisses. Peters face stung her with pain when he handed Zahara over to her, it was never like this with Zach and Grace, she gaged. They were never shifted between different countries as toddlers, how could she do this to her child now?

Continuity wasn't the same as stagnation, her father used to tell her. However, after the last five months that had opened her into his biggest secret of all, she wondered if his opinion was valuable at all.

"How are you doing?" A few weeks ago, Peter and Alicia's screaming match covered the property of their temporary house, back when Eli told her about Vanessa and their affair during his first presidential campaign. The hypocrisy in her actions was laboured only towards the proximity of which the press sat, knowing that the Florrick marriage seemed much more superficial than sincere.

"I'm.." she paused. How was it so difficult to answer her own husband? "I don't know."

He sipped his tea, "You need a break Alicia, make sure when you visit Victoria, that you actually rest."

"I don't know what rest is Peter."

"Then discover it, go and see Zach and Grace, visit a spa."

"It's only been a week" though, she recalled the explosion in sudan as if it were seconds ago. "And you know what? I barely walked out with a scratch, and people thought I was on my death bed. _You_ thought I was on my death bed." She remembered her arrival home several days ago, where Eli instantly scowled Steve for his absence and Peter's cold glance when he took Zahara out of her arms.

"A scratch." He shook his head. "As I recall, you came home with a chest infection, and a bad concussion to your head, with the emotional impact that Marissa explained to her father."

Alicia looked up at the ceiling, blew air between her teeth as she chastised her assistant. "So much for friendship."

"And there is nothing wrong with my head." She added

"Okay, there is nothing wrong with your head." He gave up and pressed a kiss against Zahara's forehead.

"Be good for mommy okay munchkin, I'll see you in a week." Zahara reached up and touched his cheek, offered her core on a platter of innocent adorable love. If things failed at working out, with herself and Peter, they would always have a small child to share in their ancient age.

/

"Have you been waiting long?"

Brad's eyes perked up in recognition at her arrival. He sat, relaxed, against the bar with his phone in one hand.

He grinned, "Are you serious? One element you can count on, is my patience among free alcohol."

"How did you have the entire restaurant cleared out so I could meet you?"

"I own this restaurant."

"Rich bastard."

He chuckled in response and she wrapped her arms around him, smiling, she pulled back and kissed his cheek. "Hello little one" he touched Zahara's soft hair, she smiled wildly in his direction and stretched her arms out for him, Alicia handed her over and searched for a chair.

"I'm hungry" Alicia muttered, stripping from the haute couture coat she wore, she sat down and allowed Brad to fit Zahara into the baby chair. "Can we order?"

"Hold your horses Alicia, in a hurry?"

"Sort of.. But I can make extreme exceptions for you Mr Collier."

He placed a hand against his chest. "I am flattered Mrs Florrick."

The evening travelled at a wonderful slow pace, she valued his open opinion and genuine company. He was appealing on every level, but hardly her type. She understood that, and would never delve into a field she had such high respect for.

"You're good with kids." She noticed when her one year old willingly allowed him to feed her spoonfuls of frozen yoghurt.

"Plenty experience with my own."

"Speaking of which, when am I gonna meet them?" she demanded.

"My kids? Soon I guess. They're off in Thailand with their mother, she's vacationing with her latest."

"How old?"

"My kids or my ex-wife?"

She scowled him quietly. "Kids."

"Seven and ten."

"Cute age." She remembered when her eldest two were that age and her insides did flip-flops in sweet memories.

"It must be hard, having to juggle your profession and being a father. I have Zahara, which is a full time job on its own, but its different for me."

"How is it different?"

"You work twice as hard as me, you have two demanding jobs, you haven't a wife to clean after you, and you have two little kids, plus you own several restaurants around the country."

"I own shares in big businesses." He corrected

She calculated. "Me; I have a house load of people waiting to do everything for myself and my family."

"Yes, but you also have half a dozen billion people criticizing everything you do, yourself and your husband probably carry the largest load of pressure, you have an army of security detail, you have a one year old who Is African American but refers to the president of US as Dadda'. And your marriage is also in the dumps." He was too blunt for her character, she had discovered that a mile away from the beginning of their friendship, in a positive way, she probably needed his spirit in contrary to the honest bond of their alliance.

"Brad" she hissed.

"What?" he threw his hands up in the air, just when Zahara demanded more fruit. Both adults tended to the sliced berries and her child slowly nibbled away at their fingers, blissfully pleased with toddler life.

"I was thinking, since your run-in with the U.N last week.."

"Oh you mean when they threatened to fire me if I wouldn't behave in front of the press and apologize for something I didn't do?"

"You didn't have to be so juvenile in front of them."

"Juvenile? Alicia, they want me to take four months off from participating as an ambassador. They know how much this work means to me, how hard I've worked."

"It's all my fault. If I wasn't there, the attention wouldn't have spanned, and you would have avoided the blame."

"It's no one's fault" he spoke firmly. "The explosion was an act of terrorism. That had nothing to do with you, and you were just doing your job. _We_ were just doing our job."

"Okay" she ducked her head in guilt. She's heard the speech before, from him, from Marissa, from Peter, from her mother, still, it doesn't cease the pain. "But you've earned yourself those four months off. What are you gonna do?"

He laughed and covered her hand. "You make it sound as if I do nothing. Don't worry, I have to conclude the last weeks of filming, and then afterwards, my agent will probably have another script coming in. I'll keep myself busy, why is that? Do you have something in mind?"

"Join my campaign" she jumped. "We need someone like you, we need more attention directed onto this canvass. You can go back to the UN when we're done, but in six weeks I have to make another trip to Cambodia."

"I'm in." he was quick to answer, her smile broadened and her arms coasted into a hug. "Yay!" Zahara, an unbeknownst to her mother's reason of sudden happiness, clapped her hands and screeched in excitement. A perfect jolt of love rushed through Alicia's veins and filled her heart of complete and utter joy for her child's infectious smile.

"An empty restaurant calls for celebration" Brad claimed, he was correct in his pleasant offer, but alcohol wasn't her greatest acquaintance at the moment, bearing in mind the stash of photographers that stood outside the door.

"A glass of wine Alicia, you deserve a glass of wine."

"No thank you" she said with deep remorse. "White house rule; can't drink in public."

"Well at least allow me to give you a gift, before you head out." She watched as he jumped over the bar and pulled out the expensive bottle from Germany.

"You're a charmer Mr Collier, but I cannot accept…"

"I'm not letting you go without it, I wouldn't let you go either way, but for now, I'm letting you go with a token of my affection." He teased

She covered her face, giggled and blushed like a girl invited in the arms of her crush. "Oh my god."

* * *

Underneath, the open, cheerful and lovely character that claimed Grace Florrick, there was still a shy little girl who believed in fairy-tales, She may have toppled over the edge of eccentricity herself, but she'd rather be idealistic than pragmatic like her brother. She told herself, as she sat back and watched her former colleagues celebrate a high advantaged settlement. She had to leave this place, she reminded herself. She had to find her own fairy tale somewhere else.

The firm stood toasting to herself and a few other associates departure from the firm, hopefully not forever, she pleaded, for the importance of being here in the wings of what was once owned by her mother and the only trustworthy lawyers in the state. Being here was important, like claiming the essence of what she desired while simultaneously pleasing her mother's internal worries, she knew through Alicia's wall with Will, there was a fine line of protection that settled between Gardner and Florrick, and Will seemed much more forgiving in light when he kept his promises and acted as the father figure Grace so desperately needed.

"You gonna celebrate or what?" Madie, her former friend stretched out a glass of champagne. Grace shook her head.

"No thank you. I think I might slowly head out, I'm tired, got a long day soon. Court."

"Wimp"

Grace simply smiled, "See ya tomorrow."

Zach had left an hour prior, she hoped that the chocolate fudge ice-cream she purchased wasn't demolished by her elder brother and left in its peaceful state waiting for her and a good dose of soppy romantic TV.

"Grace, wait.." the familiar voice caught her attention from where she stood in the empty foyer, waiting for the elevator.

She sighed when she saw him, objected to the tears that sprung through her eyes. "Carter, go away.."

"Please Grace."

She pushed his hand away when he touched hers. His eyes, a valuable sense of ocean blue, pierced into anguish. "Tomorrows your last day"

She looked up at the ceiling. _Don't remind me._ "Yep."

"Please don't go, I love… I love you." he whispered. "We have to talk about this.."

Amongst his poor actions in tearing her heart apart, he was probably the kindest soul she could ever come across, along with his soft character, and loving charm, he was perfect on every level, appealing, wonderful, it was fair that their relationship was an abrupt halt into the reality which defined the measurement of love and all its struggles.

"I'm sorry" he pressed gently. How many times would he have to repeat it before she forgave him?

His forehead grew moist with hot water when the doors to the elevator opened. She recognised the man who stepped through, his silver mustache depicted his age. He looked young for a cowboy married to one of the most prestige's woman Grace ever knew.

"Everything alright here?" Kurt McVeigh voiced unwelcome trepidation on Carter's part, and Grace silently hoped it was enough to send him off back to his office.

"Yes." She smiled, stepped aside and walked into the lift. She stood back and looked into Carters eyes, Kurt stood next to him, refused the young man's chance at going after her. Grace nodded at him, and then returned her gaze to the only boy who had managed to break her heart in the course of a couple of weeks. "Stay away from me."

She wiped the single tear that had escaped and cascaded down her cheek. It exposed an unknown side of her that she had feared for so long.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, the message instantly brought her down to normal ground, on an emotional level.

 _Mom_

 _'_ _I have a surprise for you tomorrow, stay safe, I love you.'_

Alicia's message had Grace closing her eyes in exhaustion.

Grace immediately thought of chocolates and one of Alicia's gifts that she often sent down from DC, and then Zahara's welcoming face flashed through her mind and a trip to Africa with her sibling and parents signalled an afterlife of peace and quiet; the idea was foolish for her parents were too busy to do anything but spear a call to their eldest children, however a girl could dream at some point, she thought.

* * *

Alicia stepped out onto the pavement that claimed the beginning of her sister's gorgeous home. The eight bedroom, glass house placed in the heart of the woods, the main city of Chicago a distance of a three hour drive, not at all ideal for she had promised herself that she would surprise Zach and Grace tomorrow morning, however the privacy of a homestead was promising and seemed much more isolated than the gated one she had in DC. There wasn't a sign of humanity out here, just herself, and the two other SUV's packed with her security detail. She sighed, it wasn't perfect, having them here with her, but this was her life now.

Alicia left her sleeping baby in the car, instructed the men to wait outside the doors whilst she made her way in, through the tittering stars of steps, throughout the glass doors, and into the hall where she bumped into Victoria's husband. "Is she here?" whispered Alicia

He pointed towards the kitchen, Alicia took her heels off and snuck into the area in silence. Victoria's playlist of music that called through headphones in her ears could be heard between China and London.

A distance in time, she decided, had been the length of which the two woman ceased at making each other laugh and humiliating one another's similarities. How could she truly hate this woman? Hate the reality of her birth if she reminded her so much of herself and Owen?

Victoria stood at the modern island, her back faced towards Alicia's sneaky presence as she sliced through vegetables. She slipped an arm around her shoulder, Victoria jumped, dropped the knife into the basement and placed a hand on her chest. "What's for dinner?" Alicia smiled.

"Jesus Christ you nearly killed me! Alicia, you're early, I thought you were arriving tonight."

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Well consider that job done," blonde and brunette hair locked through loops as she wrapped her arms around her, Alicia closed her eyes, dug herself further into her sisters shoulder and smiled. Five months had given them enough time to fall into a line of comfort that they so deserved after their first awkward encounter, she brimmed in the crown of happiness that had traced itself through her sister's fresh presence.

/

"Zahara! Baby, not too close to the pool." Alicia yelled from where she and Victoria sat on the grass in the backyard. Victoria practiced her former spellbinds of early morning yoga whilst Alicia admired and pretended that she was doing the same.

"I can't do it" Alicia whined as she watched the younger woman accomplish an up-side down split in the air.

"Yes you can" Victoria challenged.

"No, I'm too old."

"Don't use that as an excuse. You need to meditate your muscles. You do too much squats and weight-lifting, I was watching your trainer that day in DC. He pushes you too hard without thinking of the consequences."

"You were watching him?" Alicia mused. "Really? Are you sure it wasn't his abs that caught your attention? Because I remember that day very clearly, and it involved a lot of eye gogling and flirtation.."

"Sshh!" Victoria barked. "My husband is standing twenty feet away, and I am positive that he has some psychic technique of reading lips."

Alicia fell back on the ground and bursted into laughter, Victoria joined her and watched as Zahara crawled her way over to them. Alicia opened her arms, took her chubby daughter into her chest and tickled her mercifully.

After the laughter died down, and Zahara seemed just as tired as her mother, she snuggled into her arms and played with the string on Alicia's hoddie. "She likes being here."

Victoria ran a hand along the child's hair. "I like having her here. So does Bryan."

Alicia thought of Victoria's two children, recalled their innocent smiles when she first met them just a few months ago, they were small but old enough to carry themselves to the school bus, Alicia gazed down at her own child, and wondered if Zahara would ever be free to walk to school without security detail following her.

"When are Malcom and Cindy coming back?" Alicia mentioned the names of her new niece and nephew, _new,_ she reminded herself, such an odd philosophy and a strange domesticity of a family. She was still getting used to it.

"They're with my mother in LA. holidays.." she explained, then tensed when Alicia's eyes glazed with recognition.

"Sorry," her sister apologized.

Alicia shook her head, swallowed the large lump in her throat. "Don't be, we shouldn't have to be awkward whenever we mention our mothers."

Alicia watched as she smiled through the double flip she did with her legs. "Okay, I'm done. I'm no longer going to torture myself like this, I'm going inside to find food."

"Five more minutes" Victoria demanded.

Alicia allowed Zahara to slip from her arms as she ran up the bank and into Bryan's arms for now. "It must be wonderful having a husband who designs houses for a living." Alicia exhaled dreamily as her gaze stretched around the stunning exterior of her sister's home. Firm glass walls, furnished luxurious brown wood holding it in place to create the perfect picture of classy but modern, every woman's dream.

"It must be wonderful to have a husband who leads the country.." Victoria ridiculed in a teasing tone.

Alicia rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up."

"You know what I love most about you?" Alicia carried on

Victoria looked up from her long stretch to her toes, muscles of hair covering half of her face, her eyes scrunched up in slight pain for the ache in her lower carf. "What?"

"When we first met, you were never intimidated, you didn't stutter when you talked, you didn't spit your food everywhere."

"People spit their food?"

"The point is, you were normal, you treated me as if I was.." she paused, struggled at distinguishing the correct word.

"Sister" Victoria finished for her. "I treated you like any estranged sister would want to be treated. Because that's what you are, my sister and I'm damn proud of it, even if you stole my looks."

Alicia laughed, then instantly raised her brows in concern as she watched the thirty eight year old roll over on her back. To change the subject to a more neutral topic, Alicia laid on her stomach and looked up at her through her sunglasses.

"So what are your plans for today?"

"Go out, do some shopping, I might drop into work, however I'm supposed to be on holiday, though holidays -apparently- are not included for a surgeons life. We can do something if you want?"

"Maybe. I have to attend this function for Peter, but afterwards I'm going to surprise Zach and Grace, they don't know I'm here."

"Good, we can all eat healthy food together tonight, it's Bryan's turn to cook."

Alicia rolled over and looked up at her through her lashes.

"When will I get my chance at pigging out on junk food with you and a movie?"

"When do you know when you orgasm?" Victoria compared

"So my chances are pretty low then?"

They both closed their eyes, and threw their heads back in laughter. The cool chicago air breathing consciously behind her hair, the scent under her nostrils hinted at Grace's rare perfume with a stain of blood. She shifted silently in mild concern.

* * *

"Hey" Will's voice was soft as he found Grace standing motionless in the corridors of the courthouse. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." She was slightly irritated and off her feet. "Where have you been! I've been waiting forever."

"I had to drop Macey off at school.."

"If your daughter wasn't so cute I probably wouldn't forgive you so easily."

"Grace.. is everything okay?" he noticed the wrinkles under her eyes, caused only by a night deprived of sleep and the fatherly horizontal side of him instantly reached with concern.

"I'm just tired, sorry for snapping at you. Let's go, the judge is waiting." The trial concluded with a visit to his chambers where he lectured Miss Cavanaugh on her rude awakening with the oppositions last witness, she had, fairly in Will's opinion, slaughtered the defence table with new found tactics that Will found admirable, using her talent in the courtroom and introducing her knowledge with religion into coaxing the witness under the spell of sin and lying.

Unfortunately the Judge was catholic, and therefore Grace sat under a category of unpopularity when it came to her motives in the courtroom. Alicia, he thought repeatedly, she was a tiny Alicia waiting to blossom into the lawyer that everyone envied and loved at the same time.

"At least it is my last day."

"Pardon Miss Cavanaugh?" the judge was partially deaf

"Nothing at all your honour, do you have any more enquires?" she smiled through her teeth.

"No, you are all dismissed. Mr Gardner, you need to control your secondary."

"Yes your honour."

Grace was the last to exit, and purposely made it her mission to slam the door behind her before she strode her way for the exit. Will stopped her, ushered her to the side and forced her to explain.

"He killed his wife!" she threw her hands up in the air. "And he's pleading not-guilty, he lies through his teeth under that thick smile of his, I had to tear him apart."

"Grace. I've explained this to you countless times, you can't let the opposition get under your skin. Look at me" he demanded when her gaze glided. "You did a good job today, but next time, keep cool."

"Keep cool" she muttered to herself, her eyes were glassy when she looked down. She looked worn out, lifeless.

"Grace, what's going on?"

The silence in the area was chilling, he then discovered that the shape of it wasn't outlined by Graces sudden stillness, but the gunshots in the building that echoed among his lost ears which brought him down to ground one, instantly, he made sure Grace was fine before he searched for the cause of the loud screams that soon followed.

Glass shattered thirty feet away from him, revealing the source of the gunshots. "Carter" Grace's voice was weak and frail compared to the fire that excelled through her eyes. "That.. that's Carter and Cary's courtcase.. I… god no.."

If he had a chance at stopping her, he failed instantly for she took off at the speed of lightning and rushed for the direction of chaos and multi-layered glass.

"Grace don't!" her ears were indistinguishable against the world, he knew the distance that carried between two lovers, he had endured enough pain for a lifetime to understand it, to understand the solid run of her movements, to understand that Alicia would never forgive him if he gave up without a fight.

He followed her as she made a path through the secure walls of two security guards, pushed through their arms. "Mam, Mam! You can't go in there! What is she doing?"

"Just let me go and get her" Will begged. When the guard declined his offer, he pushed through anyway, and mentally prayed to anyone above that he would get to see his daughter tonight.

He spotted Grace running for Carter, her arms tackled him to the ground and he fell first, her arms circled his shoulders as she laid sprawled on top of him, acting as the shield that he didn't even need.

It was a second, Will thought.

A second that meant the world to Carter, and less to the individual who allowed one bullet to slice through Graces arm.

Carter rolled with her under the desk and held onto her whilst Will's arms flung around the shooter, he wasn't afraid, he noticed. He wasn't fragile, in some sense of the world, he had never felt so much rage fuel through his veins for he could already hear Alicia's cries at her own daughter's funeral

"You weak bastard" Will coiled when he noticed that the gunman was his own client. He reached for the weapon, straddled his brittle body and forced his head towards the ground. He wasn't aware of what he was doing when he pointed the weapon to his head and silently counted to three.

"Will stop!" Cary rushed, held onto his shoulders and forced him back. Instantly, Will felt the patch of blood on Cary's waist roll down to the ground. Was he hurt?

"Give me the gun and hold him down." His words were muffled with fire-alarms and a loud string of myriad voices in his ear. _Do it_ , he heard Alicia's voice in the back of his mind, the only distance that exposed her true absence was the lack of sensation in her smell, her touch.

In another world that didn't involve a possible mental disorder, he could hear her voice in his mind echoing itself into pulling the trigger.

"You're gonna do it?" Will simmered through his teeth as he asked Cary. An unfamiliar monster crawled its way through his chest and exposed itself to the world.

"We're not shooting anyone today Will.. just give me the gun…. please."

He wasn't sure what had drove him into listening to Cary, maybe the knowing fact that his reputation would die? Or that Grace needed his help? Or possibly the grumbling man that sat pressed under him, Jeffery begged and cried when Will tossed the gun under Cary's side.

In acid response, Will crushed the young man's knuckles into the ground, the monster that had unleashed itself whispered in his ear taciturnly, hoping that reverse psychology would work and the only gunshot he would hear was a simple threat. "You better pray she lives or else you'll have more than just the law on your back."

* * *

AN. *Big big Sigh* I don't like writing this dramatic stuff but it was always sort of planned for the story, it escalated quickly haha. Thank you all for reading xx


	18. The Child

AN, sorry for the long delay:( Life, craziness. I will try update the next one soon, I hope ya'll are still with me :)

* * *

It was impossible to understand the length of time it had taken her to get here, the torture of having to drive the long distance was unbearable, and the chances of hiring a chopper to fly her to the hospital were limited for now. Steve drove at the speed of lighting, he had no other choice as she would have climbed onto his lap and taken hold of the wheel.

Owen greeted her at the back entrance of the hospital, the floor was oddly quiet and void of any ongoing patient's to sink into the shock of her arrival, she was grateful, for she didn't think she would be able to deal with another distraction.

Owen explained the minor details that had managed to tear her heart apart. "She was outside when the gunshots were heard. Cary Agos is also in critical care, they discovered later on that his body reacted severely to the bullet wound in his thigh. Grace is in surgery."

"Surgery?" she panicked, her breath ragged as she basically jogged through the familiar corridors of what was once known as her local hospital, a lifetime ago.

Her heels were painful, but bearable in the substance of what held her together. Why had she worn the damn things anyway?

She remembered instantly the memorial that she was supposed to attend in honour of the military base that served in Afghanistan, their lives were centred through Chicago, where their families and children resided. She'd promised Peter she would take it, and right now, in the universe before Zach's horrific call, she would be holding babies and watching as wives skyped their husbands overseas.

She had planned a wonderful surprise later on that same day, where she would visit her eldest children and surprise them with a hug and a gift that involved their baby sister.

The dream was dropped, and as fate had reminded all of them, her world was turned upside down once again.

"Surgery." Owen repeated. "I was on my way home when Zach called and I made a left turn for the hospital. She was.. when I saw her… I.." he stopped, and the outline of his pupils froze with throbbing discomfort.

"She was what?" Demanded Alicia.

"Blood was everywhere… some of it was hers, I don't know, maybe it was Cary's. They both looked… damaged." he paused again, his legs jelly compared to his sisters who seemed to trace the outline of the hospital in solid memory. The two pair of agents that stood in front of them, and the two at the back were physically struggling with her fast movements, and though she appreciated their much needed support, she would rather they slip into the walls right now.

"Mrs Florrick, Victoria called, I'm Lucy, I work with your sister in.."

"Where is my daughter?"

"She is in surgery at the moment mam, I.. I need to talk about.."

"Take me to her.." the young woman seemed petrified as she stood under her gaze

"Just escort us to where the surgery is" Owen explained, "Alicia won't interfere in any of the procedures, she just needs to see her daughter."

"I don't think the sight would be at all pleasing Mrs…"

"Please" Alicia begged. "I just need to see her."

They were led into an elevator. "The floor above has been cleared off, for yourself of course and.. and.. and your husband.."

"Oh right." Alicia's hands shook with burning sweat as she waited for the numbers to climb.

"Will he… be visiting?"

"Yes, probably." The nurse allowed her eyes to dilate for a moment before she contained herself.

"The floor was left open for the remaining victims as well, I hope you understand Mrs Florrick, there isn't enough room to cater to such a substantial amount.."

"There were more?" Alicia panicked.

"Yes, several people were injured, but your daughter is in good hands, I promise."

Her gaze fell through into the wall, Steve spoke with the nurse on security tenacities and the five mile clearance of when the president would arrive. Alicia refused to think about it, the last thing Grace needed was Peter and his army of men escorting him through the halls of a hospital that deserved at least some sense of respect, as she and her own had already bombarded their way through the door.

"You know my sister? Victoria, you said she called.." Owen carried on

The nurse nodded. "Yes, Mrs Parker is one of the finest surgeons in the country, she mainly operates with children, infants.."

The elevator revealed the path that traced itself through an empty hall and concluded with several people fourty feet away, in the mist of her brimming panic that led her legs into rushing, she witnessed the shadow of a person walking towards her, only when she rose closer, then she realised the familiar face was of her son and his features resembled something close to relief and fear.

"Mom"

She recognised some faces in the blur haze of her background vision, was it Will? Diane? What was he doing here? Was he hurt?

Without so much as an additional glance, she immediately blocked them out when her son wrapped his arms around her lithe shoulders and she closed her eyes.

Even with her five inch heels, and her long coat that hung over her black pencil skirt dress, he was still taller than her just by a few inches. Her son, always her little boy in her eyes, shockingly the same height as Peter's build.

"Mrs Florrick, the surgery theatre is open." The nurse prodded from where she stood near the waiting door.

"Surgery Theatre?" he asked

She pressed a kiss against his forehead, and acknowledged her fate with gratitude for having her son in one safe piece. "I'm going to see your sister, come with me."

He gaped and stepped back, "You're gonna watch them pull a bullet out of her?"

Yes. Half of her team, including herself, had seen worse over the last few months, but who was counting? She had witnessed 55 deaths in one explosion, she had seen blood pour down Brad's shoulder, she had witnessed damaged villages beg for the simple establishment of water through the cause of an explosive missile that, regardless of Brad Colliers opinion, was executed because of her presence.

She reached out and touched his shoulder. _It's all my fault._ She thought. "I can't breathe until I see her. I won't be long, I promise."

Before he could argue in the same class as what his father would ensure, she dashed towards the room, her crew of bodyguards spread out across the hall. He was left him to wallow in the unwanted presence of the prison sector that touched close to his parents' DC home.

* * *

She had arrived earlier than he would have ever expected, two hours after the shooting. The possibility of her flying down here from whatever country she was in, with such short time was dangerous and mind blowing for Will to even process. He shook himself out of the methodical trance that involved Alicia and his hazard thinking. He was engaged to Samantha now, she was the woman who slept in his bed most nights and made Macey smile early hours of the morning.

And yet, there was the same sluggish magnet of his soul and Alicia's, finally trapped together after another loss of time, another reason for him to feel anxious once again. He couldn't breathe, and not for physical reasons did it require the demand of a doctor's attention. In time, he simply needed to hold Alicia for him to heal again.

He had never felt even remotely close to nervous with Samantha, overwhelmed, yes, but never nervous, maybe it was better that way, the lack of excitement, maybe that was for Alicia only, and Samantha was a valid ultimatum for him to love, it was hard not to love her when she had such a wonderful relationship with his daughter.

The world seemed to halt when the ding to the elevator rung and Alicia walked through, with her determined stride, with her long dark hair, with her porcelain face, and her stunning figure. Maybe it was his world that halted and the rest kept swimming, however he couldn't understand either hemisphere his country sat on, for she corrupted him completely with her pivotal blast into the room.

Zach stood up immediately from where he sat next to a panicked Carter, the distance from here to there was long enough for Will to resemble, only vaguely, the presence of three, maybe four agents behind her, though his eyesight was drawn to Alicia's looming figure. He tried to look away, but then he would expose himself by being the only one.

Only when he allowed his gaze to rest on the floor, his head bowed in exhaustion, the muffled voices of Zach and his mother had him close his eyes in nausea. "I can't breathe until I see her. I won't be long, I promise."

And with that, she was gone, only leaving a fraction of evidence swearing to her presence. He probably would never see her again. And her scent lingered painfully around his heart.

Cary's girlfriend, Jessica was a dose of panic and needed more morphine than any of them, Diane had tried to calm her down to at least some human level of composure, but regardless she was still on her toes, as were the rest of them. Cary had gathered two gunshot wounds, including one to his thigh and one to the waist. If Will had only known earlier, his attention would have been targeted less on Jeffery and maybe more to his business partner.

Other than Will himself, Carter was the only individual from the firm who had avoided any bullet wounds – thanks to Grace – it not only destroyed him, but it kept him mute for the remainder of the afternoon. Zach, in his pleasant, lovely fashion, tried to assure him that his sister's spiral wasn't any fault of his, though Will was sure he had only forced himself into being a kind heart.

"Cary Agos's family?" the unexpected surgeon appeared

Diane stood up, followed by everyone else with the exception for Carter and Will who remained in their seats, traumatised and spent on every level. "Yes?"

"There was a problem, we managed to remove the bullet around his rib, but his thigh was severely damaged, he lost a lot of blood, and the bullet was pushed further into his muscle. He should be fine for now as long as we keep him roused with morphine. Tomorrow morning we will operate on his thigh, it's our only option at the moment, he needs to rest. One of our best surgeons has offered to take lead in the morning."

"But he is okay?"

The doctor was cautious with his words. "He.. he's fine for the moment. But we cannot make any guarantees for the fate of his leg. He will need serious rehabilitation afterwards."

"Can we visit him?"

"Two at a time please.. he is awake but only vaguely. The police will be in soon to question him, and afterwards, visiting hours are over."

* * *

Her fragile hand rested on the window, her eyes a mess of emotions as she peered into the operation room. She had promised herself once she gave birth to her first child that she would never allow anything to hurt her children, the wall had somehow collapsed, and Grace's delicate state was a cruel example of how distant they had really become. Of course she would blame herself, she thought. It was in Alicia's nature to take responsibility for anything that chanced the safety of her precious babies, adults or not, they would always be hers.

She watched, and she listened. Was that really how they sliced through skin? With a singular knife and a few tools. Only steps away from destroying any chance her daughter had left.

Steve, who stood several steps behind her could barely look without choking. It had a reverse effect on Alicia, maybe her eyes had been subjected to an excessive amount of harm over the last few years for her state to be such at ease, to contradict it would only involve the wobbly foundation of her legs.

"Baby" she murmured, both the palm of her hands rested against the window, with a few inches she could press her forehead against the glass and cry. "She's lost too much blood"

"Alicia sit down, you're making me cringe." Steve pressed a seat behind her, she allowed herself to take in his features for the first time. She had never seen him so concerned, maybe it was her state that he was troubled over? Or maybe he knew deep down that Grace would never make it? A combination of both gripped Alicia's chest into pieces.

She sat down and covered her face. "Victoria" she murmured. "I need Victoria."

* * *

"Jesus Cary, you got hit pretty hard huh?"

Cary winced at Zach's teasing response, the heavy dose of morphine doing its wonders. "Na man, just a couple of hits. That's all."

"Just? Hits?" Diane looked at him with disdain.

"I feel amazing.." Cary looked up at the ceiling. "Exhausted, numb, but amazing."

"That'll be the drugs talking." Will commented. "It'll wear off soon."

"Is Grace out of surgery yet?" he asked Zach whose gaze stiffened under Cary's dazed one.

"Uhhh. No, they're still operating on her.. My mom is with her at the moment"

"Uh oh" Cary's brows raised through the veil reference of his former friend.

"No 'uh oh's. She's fine."

Cary covered his face with one hand in total panic. "Lord give me mercy, she is going to kill me."

"You're high" Zach dictated

"She is going to force one of her ginormous bodyguards on me and they will pull the plug while I sleep."

"I doubt that." Zach said. "But Grace's opportunity of ever stepping into another courtroom may cease for a few years at least, maybe, hopefully, but mom got one of the best surgeons in the country to operate on your thigh in the morning, so that means something at least positive, I think." Or maybe she had paid out millions to design Cary's impending death sentence.

"She did?" the curious gaze owned by Will made Zach cringe. He wasn't supposed to say anything -not when Victoria, only moments prior to the revelation - told him that it was licensed information that wasn't supposed to leave the ears of himself and his mothers.

"Yes."

"Tell her that I owe her a drink." Cary mumbled through the smear of his tired words. "You can all go now, tell Jess I'm okay, and check on Carter for me okay, has he run himself over yet?"

"No, but I think he's considering it."

* * *

They stepped out of the room into the same hallway that held a lot less movement than before, sans the added agents that had made themselves known to their land for the moment. Grace's room was at least twenty feet from Cary's, a good distance for Zach to understand that his sisters wish of encompassing a normal life was tarnished to the ground now that his mother had arrived.

"Miss Lockhart, Mr Gardner, can we question you for a moment?" the police stepped in, leaving Zach to tend to the only little girl who had him wrapped to the ground in foolish sibling love.

"Zahara." His heart drove with joy as she wiggled her hand away from the security detail and wobbled her tiny legs to finally fall in his arms. She remembered him. Of course she did, she was intelligent and absolutely astonishing for anyone to understand.

Her giggles resounded throughout the room and he refused to let her go, even though he could see from a distance that her tired eyes gave away her discomfort in being here, exposed to so many curious eyes.

"Zachh" she murmured, playing with the cuff of his shirt.

"hmm?"

"I want mommy."

He took her away from the side eye observation of the police, and sat down outside Grace's door with Zahara tucked into his shoulder. "Mommy isn't going anywhere, I promise, but for now, it's just us two. How about a walk huh? We can go and see where Zach and Gracie work." She nodded her little curious green eyes, hidden under those innocent thicket of lashes she owned.

/

With a couple of days nudged forward since the shooting, the police had made themselves known to Grace's tired condition at least twice before they gathered enough information to prosecute. Alicia had allowed Zahara to stay with her older brother during the two nights that she had remained next to Graces bed, and Victoria had made her concern visible for both Alicia and Grace's awkward situation.

Carter – who Alicia had never heard of up until this point – was Grace's friend, potential lover.. whatever they were, Alicia refused to think about it, knowing how truly embarrassing it was to have the world following Grace's recent relationships, she was grateful that Carter was there to look after her baby, even under the conditions that had led Grace into this position in the first place.

"I have to take a walk, if she wakes up let me know?" she spoke quietly in his direction, he sat propped against the chair, his hand tucked in Graces soft one.

He nodded, and before she could exit, he asked in the most gentle monotone known to mankind. "Mrs Florrick?"

"Call me Alicia." _You're sleeping with my daughter. Formal engagements no longer matter._ She wanted to say, but bit her lip instead.

"Yes?"

"Have you visited Cary? I only ask because he asked about you this morning, he wants to thank you for Victoria and her operation yesterday morning."

"No I haven't, I must admit I've been scared to visit him, there's at least, always, one family member outside his door. I don't wanna scare them away. But maybe later on tonight I will pop in."

Alicia's flat, knee high boots sung in its regular chorus against the tiled floor. She made her way for the empty room opposite Grace's one.

She recognised it as the familiar play area that Zahara had grown to on her regular visits, it made her sudden ache yearn for her child even more. The absence of any human-life reminded her of how lonely she had become without her kids.

She sipped her water, wondered in sorrow, of what Will was doing in this moment; if his rational was just as wobbly as hers, or if he had managed to make it out of the dark hole that consumed someone when they went through something as horrific; she knew of his participation in the courthouse two days ago, she recognised now that the familiar face in the hazey background vision of her arrival was none other than his soft one.

She wanted to wrap her arms around him and repair at least some of the damage that had been put on himself and Cary, but she also wanted to summon to her knees and thank those above – who she didn't particularly find belief in – however the lack of harm to Will's healthy form was slowly giving her a chance to believe in the fairy tales that Grace often implored.

She had to see him, she told herself. She couldn't hold it off any longer.

Just as she stood up and reached for the phone in her pocket – these things were so complicated on every level for her to comprehend, especially since her husband's staff gifted her with a new one each month – the door pressed open and a little girl rushed in.

She was several inches taller than Zahara, pastel white skin with rosy natural cheeks. She had to be at least 2 years old. Alicia thought. Her brown curls bounced as she ran for the container of books in the corner of the room, Alicia expected her mother or father to run after her, but she was alone in either sense of the world, her face hidden under those mass of baby hair covering her eyes.

Who was she? Alicia wondered.

The hall of rooms only catered to Grace and Cary, the remaining patients were either discharged or moved to a different unit. From a distance, curiously, she could spot the load of sport magazines that fell onto the floor, baseball, basketball, soccer, football. And just as the child curved to find the second party in the room, the air in Alicia's lungs stretched taut and her face visibly paled into a ghost.

Will.

The face was so unbelievably, terrifyingly similar in its unexpected tremor, the child's eyes were acquainted to those of similar grace and understanding, she had once seen her soul in the same chocolate brown colour, now owned by a small human who possessed the same facial structure. The only difference in its uncanny, impossible resemblance was her nose and her cute lips, clearly void of any sign of her Will Gardner. There was simply no possible mode in manner for the child to be any relation of her former lover, though her sudden interest in sport magazines had Alicia's brows creasing.

The little girl looked up at her through soft eyes, and grinned mildly before she returned to the collection of children's books.

Alicia stood, motionless as the child reached for _The secret Garden_ , Alicia had read it to Zahara countless times to put her to sleep, now, there was some sense of symbolism that came with the small child, unknowingly, reaching for each of Zahara's favourites.

Princesses. She liked princesses. Alicia noticed.

The same brown eyes darted back to Alicia's curious ones, her little face confused for the older woman looked at her as if she were an alien.

"Macey, baby.. where are you?" a woman's voice echoed the halls, and the young familiar blonde walked in with beauty, permitted to target any man on his knees.

Samantha.

She recognised her perplexed face instantly, it was impossible not to, wasn't it? She remembered the night at the white house where she and Will's largest gap of the night was his blonde bimbo girlfriend.

"I.. Mrs Florrick..I mean Alicia.. I oh my.. it's good to see you again!" she stretched a hand out to Alicia's, to which Alicia instantly ignored.

It was far from her intentions to be rude, but alarming sirens were ringing in her head, a large shockwave taking her back into self-tremor and loud pulsing veins making their way down south as her eyes sped between the little girl and her possible mother.

No.

It couldn't be.

Could it?

Alicia refused to believe the idea of Will ever lying to her about something as important and possibly mortifying to imagine.

She trusted him enough to know that this was just all a misunderstanding and the child had to be some distant relation. She convinced herself of it, though the obvious evidence seemed rich on their side.

"Um. Baby, we have to go now." Samantha was prepared to escape from the promise of the explosion that had formed itself into Alicia's eyes.

The child looked up at her with adorable puzzled eyes. "But I wanna give uncle Cary the book first.. did you know he likes baseball like daddy too?" Her face lid up in semblance of Will's soft one.

It was too late for anyone in a mile radius to explain or argue the child's words. The cup of water in Alicia's hand fell to the carpet -exposing her fragile hand- and spread out in scandalized, broken waves, leaving a weak stain at the bottom of her feet.


	19. The Lies

AN. Early update whauut? ha! Thank you all for the passionate responses xx

* * *

Alicia Florrick was a resilient woman, she reminded herself each day of the stout shoes that she accompanied herself with, due to her husband's political scandals and her own shortcoming in being his wife.

But nothing prepared her for this, _nothing_ prepared her for the downfall that included Will Gardner and his secluded, disgraceful lies.

A child.

He had a child.

A child that was taller and old enough to refer to him as _daddy._

Daddy.

Examining the words come from a little girl whose luring eyes were dangerously close to absolutely fucking adorable made her insides turn and her throat leap. Her voice was mute in the absence of her sense of comfort, for she couldn't produce a sound even if she wanted to.

Samantha's gaze remained towards the cup of water that had fallen from poise and turned into a mess of damaged awkwardness.

Frightened by the intense silence in the room, added by the perturbed woman standing in front of her, Macey ran for Samantha's hand. "Sammy?" she looked up at her with startled toddler eyes. "Can we go"

"Of course baby." She lifted her up into her arms.

"Believe it or not Mrs Florrick, it was good seeing you. You look fantastic. We were just popping in to see Cary, this little one wanted to see her Uncle. But give my love to Grace." Samantha eyed her from head to toe, oddly and sincerely concerned for Alicia's state.

"Goodbye."

Alicia stood alone, motionless, static, frozen, and isolated in every sense of the universe, she felt as if she was spinning with the planet and she was the orb that slowly began its dispense.

Her feet moved before she could rescue herself from falling, she stumbled her way into the hallway, and immediately searched for Steve.

"Mrs Florrick." She found him, settled against the wall talking to some woman who Alicia vaguely recognised, though her internal gaze wandered to her exit package. "Steve we have to go."

He pushed himself off the wall, concern reached his instant alarmed face. "What's wrong? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"I…" she paused, tripped over her own dry throat. She had hadn't she? She had seen a ghost. The possibility of entering some spiritual life where the universe was playing games, seemed much more favoured in her eyes than the shocking truth of reality. "Where is Zahara?" she managed to let out.

"She's with Zach. Remember?"

"Oh right.. I.. I wanna go. Now." Her words were slow, almost demanding, she didn't even recognise the hitch in her throat or the throbbing in her chest.

She entered Grace's room, the patient was still asleep with her boyfriend in the chair next to her.

With strain pulling at the back of her shoulders, in having to leave Grace for the first time in two days, she kissed her forehead and stroked the bandage on her shoulder. "I'll be back soon baby."

She found Zahara asleep in the guest room of Zach's apartment, her little fists placed above the pillow as she slept off the hard life of a one year old.

Alicia thought of the child back at the hospital, who only an hour ago, left her speechless among her blonde curls and her expressive brown eyes.

The face lingered in her mind as she climbed onto the bed and wrapped a protective arm around Zahara. The smile in the two year olds face, which remained in her memory, was undeniable in its sweet incarnation of Will Gardner.

The words resonated in her head like a haunted dream. _I wanna give uncle Cary the book first. Did you know he likes baseball like daddy too?_

Endorsed by the obvious confirmation, Alicia still needed the truth for her mind to return back to it's normal ground.

Images of Will with a baby in his arms flooded her head, and Samantha wrapped under his arm, holding their new born child. Alicia's throat harnessed itself in the promise of weak tears, so much that she wondered if it would bother Zahara enough to wake her.

It didn't, her baby girl simply fled under her sweet dreams as she snuggled her little body further into Alicia's chest, Alicia kissed her hair as added images washed against the shore of her fragile status.

His daughters first birthday.

Her first word.

Her first time walking.

Her first time holding his smooth hand.

Her first time wearing one tooth and a standard messy tshirt with Samantha rushing out back to capture her and Will for dinner.

In a distant universe before everything happened, she had once imagined it for herself, pregnant with Will holding her hand among the alley of romantic bliss, she remembered instantly the sight of Will first meeting Zahara all those months ago. The smile on his face was extraordinary. The skill of his arms when he first held her with ease, the way he made her laugh when he tickled her tiny nose and the style of which he gazed into her lost deep golden green eyes. Zahara had the eyes of an immortal trapped in toddler's skin. She had him wrapped to the ground as well.

She understood it all now, it could no longer be an unspoken topic between them, she had been kept out of the loop enough in the last year to understand that he couldn't trust her enough to repair their relationship.

Zahara tucked under her arm and stirred in her heavenly position, reminding her of why she stood so high in damaged moments like these.

Alicia felt a sense of guilt, yet excitement when her child rolled over into her arms and her lashes slowly exposed themselves to the world, allowing her remarkable green eyes to grace the planet with its unspoiled, sweet infant size.

"Good afternoon my sweet girl" Alicia whispered, a single finger decorating the piece of hair behind her tiny ear.

The small bubble that surrounded them was familiar in their napping routine, Alicia often slept in course with Zahara's norm, but with Grace in hospital and her stress levels expanding – time spent with her smaller child at this point was pale.

Still, the sweet scent of her baby's hair, with her golden brown skin radiating among the air, and her eyes looking into hers, fixed into one of love – seemed to repair every moving cell in Alicia's body. It was impossible to look at this child and not know that she was loved, regardless of the adoption that often put a crack between parent/child connection, it didn't bother Alicia. She was meant to do this, Zahara was born to be hers.

"Momma" she whispered, touching her cheek with delicate chubby hands. Her world, she thought. Her world in one simple image.

She wondered if Will felt the same, had he ever held his daughter and felt completely free? Could he, would he have ever told her if it were true?

Alicia smiled regardless of her struggle. "Hello."

* * *

Will's Porsche sat outside the house when Samantha and Macey arrived home, he hardly ever drove the small compatible, it was bound to his feet only, she wasn't even allowed to drive it. She didn't understand his sentimental connection with it, but she could care less, she was at loss for understanding men and their fascination with cars.

She slipped Macey out of her seat and allowed her to run off through the garage, where they passed Will's preferred white lexus LS. Again, she didn't understand how one vehicle wasn't enough to entertain his youthful fixation. She loved him regardless.

"Hey" she found him among the window, he had his reading glasses on, and a bottle of beer in one hand. He smiled at her, and beamed at his child.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" she screeched, her backpack dropping to the ground as she flew into his arms like a bird.

"Macey, macey, macey!" he echoed, his kisses against her face forcing a red blush to her cheeks as she giggled uncontrollably. He settled her on his hip, and moved over to press a kiss against his fiancé's cheek.

"How was she when you picked her up?"

"Good, as always. Her teacher said something about parent teacher's conference?"

"Yes, that's next week. I'm going, I missed the last two."

Samantha watched as he set his little girl at the table, she pulled out her colouring books and pointed towards the polished page that she had completed earlier that day.

"Baby it's perfect, you managed to colour in between the lines as well." he looked at her as if she was the only person in the world, and she was, in his eyes, she was. "You're so clever Mace."

He sat across from the two year old, and simply admired as she continued through her stencils, choosing carefully which colour to employ next. The soft skin of her forehead crumbled in thought as she searched through light colours.

Samantha cleared her throat, and tried to catch his attention. "I could come with you if you want? I'd be happy to join."

Her words, as amiable and kind as they were to her, they failed at grasping his attention for he seemed immovable from the bubble that consisted of himself and his daughter's loving connection. She always felt isolated, Samantha noticed, only needed when she was wanted and not yearned for like most woman in Macey's fairy-tales.

"Will?" she stepped closer, grasping his attention for a split second.

"Hmm?"

"Would you like me to join you? at the parent teacher's conference?"

He stood up and moved to press another kiss, this time against her forehead, avoiding her lips. He seemed off, she noticed it instantly from when she walked inside.

"No thanks babe, it isn't really necessary. But I appreciate it." He said effortlessly, as if the true meaning behind his response wasn't supposed to affect her in the way it did.

He moved towards the kitchen, where he grasped a freshly made raspberry smoothie from the counter, and poured a glass for Macey. "So I was thinking, I'll make dinner tonight? Parmesan salad, marinated steak? Sounds good?" he asked.

She sighed, made her direction for the visitor's closet where she hung her coat and slipped out of her heels. "Yea whatever."

He bent down to the height of the table and poked a straw near Macey's mouth. "Is it nice baby?"

She nodded her head passionately as tiny hands grasped onto the cup. "Thank you daddy." She looked at him with loving eyes. His hand greeted her soft cheek, she was his, he had made this incredible human being, and she defeated him completely. "Can I have a kiss please?" he asked sweetly

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his nose, and if he could explain the sensation of having something to love endlessly, he would fail completely at touching it with accurate words.

He stood up and passed Samantha's waiting form.

"So what did you guys do after school? No wait, let me guess. Mace just _had_ to have frozen yoghurt? Or was it a chocolate sundae?" he grinned over at his child, who regardless of her two-year-old sugar sweet tolerance. She glared at him from under her book.

"No. I picked her up, and she kept talking about Cary. Uncle Cary this, Uncle Cary that, instead of sweats or the playground, she begged me for a short visit. She just wanted to see if he was as fine as you said he was."

Samantha waited for the short chuckle that usually came from Will when discovering that she was just as vulnerable when it came to Macey's demands.

There was a long silence, Sam turned from where she stood to find Will's masculine face; pale with measured time collapsing around him.

"You took her to the hospital?" he managed to let out

"Yes. Of course we had to stop and get Uncle Cary a get-well gift, Macey chose her favourite chocolates for her favourite Uncle. That man was so happy to see her, he's going to be a great father one day."

"Sam" Will's throat was in pain. "I told you, Macey was not allowed to step foot near that hospital, what is wrong with you?" he was calm, but the fire in his eyes betrayed the obvious hurt in his appearance.

"Will? What the hell is your problem? There is nothing wrong with that hospital, if you're worried about her safety, there's no need. Alicia Florrick has basically got the whole fucking floor covered with agents to protect any living creature, speaking of which; are you still friends with her? Maybe you should get in touch, she seemed so odd today."

"What do you mean?"

"God I don't know. Just her face, it was like she had seen a known terrorist. Macey and I spent most of our time with Cary, by the way, she hasn't even visited him, did you know that? Cary's room is literally several doors from her daughters, it's been three days, and she hasn't visited him."

Will was an inch close to challenging Samantha's lost opinion when she carried on. "Anyway, Macey was talking to Cary when he asked her for some books, she ran off, a few minutes later, I find her in the waiting room with Alicia standing metres away. They stood so close together, it nearly gave me a heart attack.. I might not agree with some of her politics, but damn she looked good! I mean for her age? You wouldn't think that she's in her forties! And I swear she has extensions in her hair, Nobody has silky hair like that right? Her body, her style, I would kill to be her, just so I could get free clothes and have fittings with labels like Donatella and Vivienne Westwood." Samantha took a breath, sighed in envy, and shrugged. "Regardless of her obvious fortune package, she seemed a bit rude, she didn't say one single word to me. She just kept staring at Macey."

* * *

Alicia handed her phone over to Steve as they entered the hospital, she didn't have her usual entourage with her, she had sent four of her custom agents back home, and allowed Steve and two of her other instruments to remain by her side for the time-being.

"Brad has been calling, should I tell him you're busy?" Steve asked.

"I'll call him soon. I have to check in with Grace, I promised myself I wouldn't spend a night elsewhere but then I fell asleep and I felt like the worst mother when I woke up in the morning"

"I'm sure she wouldn't resent you for it."

"You're just trying to make me feel better. Please just give me a moment with my kids, and then we can turn the phones on."

He nodded, "Of course, I'm not your secretary Mrs Florrick, would you like me to flush your devices down the toilet? I'd be more than happy to do that."

"That would be considered harmful to the environment, what kind of world leaders are we if we did that?" Their laughter echoed the hallway.

Her strides were long, out of habit, she was accustomed to being on the run, oddly, it felt strange to feel free again, she was back home, in the spirit of longing, with the cool familiar air breezing behind her ear, and only within arm's reach of all her children.

The lies of Will Gardner's were inches behind her with a blade prepared to stab her heart, but at least for the moment, she had a distraction.

She burst into the room with a huge smile on her face and held the bag of bagels for Grace to see. "You wouldn't believe it but I thought we could skip the shit hospital food and ignore the amount of calories in this and just… do.. it.."

Her throat instantly dried out and her heart rapidly started to search for oxygen once she noticed the guest sitting opposite Grace in his glory, his perfect humility, his brave hair waiting for fingers to nurture and his eyes instantly drawn to hers. How could she truly rage at him now when he was here, his scent, his body heat, his warmth lingering among the room? She felt it, like the warmth of his sheets when she would wake up in the morning to find his eyes layered upon her body.

"Hi Alicia."

She forced herself to smile, painfully. The little girl with pale skin and brown eyes had been engraved in her mind since yesterday, and only now did it linger back into her core memory, the rosy cheeks, the big brown curls, her soft skittish smile, designed to torture anyone who had a chance to stand against such a beautiful little human.

"Will.." say something.. anything you idiot. "You.. you're here."

Only when he stood up to greet her fully, she noticed that he was wearing reading glasses. It had been five months and two weeks since their last encounter, and even then, when he wore his fashionable tuxedo and best smile with his comforting arms, he had never looked more pleasantly handsome than in this moment. It did things to her.

"I'm here." He repeated, _'for you'_ the words hung just off his lips, spoken through their own hidden language. She looked at him, and he looked at her with similar easinesss, he loved her, he would always hopelessly love her and the violent attraction for one another was still acute, maybe more for him.


	20. The Bad

His nervous appearance didn't betray the outline of his obvious attractiveness. Any woman within a distance could see that the man was out of this world, for his age, for his wealth, for anything.

"You brought bagels?" Grace sat up, squinted as the weight thrown on her shoulder caused her to fall back. Will was there to catch her, with a pillow and the simple press of a button that levelled Grace back up. If Alicia had a chance to fix anything, Will was a step ahead, fixing it for her.

"I did." Suddenly Alicia wasn't hungry anymore. "Eat up before your doctor catches you, how was your dinner last night?"

"You mean the thin piece of bread and cold soup? Just grand. The monarchy would rejoice I'm sure of it mom, it was the best." The sarcastic tone in her voice had Will laughing, Alicia glared at him.

"Better that than a night in pain because of an upset tummy."

"Blood levels?" Will asked.

"Yes" Alicia answered, refused to look him in the eye as she sat on the edge of the bed. "It's too low, too high, not enough. It keeps dropping which we're primarily concerned about." She rubbed her arm. "Peter and Grace share the same blood type, and heaven forbid his daughter exercises the idea of donated bags, so he's helping out."

-"Via correspondence" Grace added, a hint of added sarcasm in her voice and further remorse for her father's absence.

"Your dad is busy Grace." Alicia said

"I know." She looked down. "We're basically like vampires though" she changed topic, scoffed half a sugar coated bagel down her throat. "We feed off each other's blood until we turn pasty white."

"That's tactless." Alicia argued.

"In another world, it's sort of true. We depend on each other's success in order to take over the world. Well, they do anyway. I'm a 'normal' person Will." She stated with delighted pride

Alicia looked at the twenty two year old, and simply wondered how she had turned into such a different person from the shy little girl who was terrified of her own shadow. Before she could respond, a soft knock came from the door and Victoria announced her presence, with a kind smile that reminded Alicia all too much of her father's.

Will and Victoria – two important people in Alicia's world- were finally in the same room. Their first session of an unexpected gathering. Alicia hadn't told Victoria of Will at this point, and maybe that was the reason behind her ignorance. Victoria walked straight past Will as if he was a piece of furniture, and manoeuvred around the small space to check Grace's IV line. She touched the small of Alicia's back in recognition, and tucked the blonde curl behind her own ear as she read through the chart.

"How was your morning?"

Victoria sighed and shook her head. She was once a permanent doctor, but had graduated into a surgeon. She wasn't Grace's main practitioner, it wasn't ethical for family to work on family, but in between breaks, she had made herself known to the room too many times for anybody to count.

"That bad huh?"

"One dead patient, one successful surgery, and another heart disease to monitor. You tell me"

"Ouch."

"Yeup.. Grace, you're looking good for the moment. Can you move your arm?"

"Barely, it hurts, but I can."

"Hmm, what about your fingers?"

"Fine" Grace twinkled her hand until her nails exceled among the light, the absence of any sign regarding an engagement ring was major pain relief for Alicia.

"Perfect, you should be out of here in no time. I'll have the nurse come in and drop in some more fluids. You need more sleep, I have to insist on a no-visitors pass tonight.."

"But.."

"I'm sure Carter and your mother can do with the sleep as well. I'll let your doctor know." she removed the stethoscope from underneath her neck, her silky blonde hair falling to her shoulders. "It's important that you sleep." She looked directly at Will for the first time. "So visiting hours will be over in about a half an hour. You'll have to leave sorry." She had no compassion for his handsome features, not like Alicia, who was weak just staring at him.

"I understand" he said. Looked at her again. "You must be.."

"Victoria Parker" she stretched her practised hand out into a firm shake. If Owen were here, the two of them would be chatting like two old school lovers, and Alicia would have to force him away from corrupting Will entirely. But she was reminded of how little Victoria knew anything about this family, which bearing in mind, seemed like a blessing. "And you are?"

"Will, I'm Will. Graces boss."

He was a bit more than Grace's boss, but the details weren't necessary.

"Ahh right. Nice to meet you, anyway, I have to head out." She looked down at Alicia. "You're coming home tonight, no excuses. I want Zahara all to myself. Don't be late for dinner." With her final duty completed, she exited the room, her scent passed Alicia's nostrils, and she pulled herself to a smile. She didn't know where she would be if it weren't for her family.

Grace switched the tv on and settled down into the bed. The atmosphere was intolerably awkward, Grace was too tired to notice the pending tension between her mother and Will. Her lashes closing briefly in fatigue, Victoria was right, she needed sleep and If Alicia had a chance at forcing herself to leave, she was failing terribly for her palms tightened on the chair and her eyes refused to leave Wills soft ones.

The shame was there. She could see it in the way he swallowed urgently and the tone of his pupil rotated from dark brown to hazel, a sign of guilt that touched dangerously close to familiar grounds.

Her heart cried with silent tears, if Grace was conscious enough, maybe it was possible that the only person in the room blocking their unwanted moment, could potentially hear the competing sound of both hearts in the area.

The image of the same little girl flashed through Alicia's mind.

His daughter.

Will's daughter.

It was real now. She noticed. He had a child, a baby girl.

Alicia wanted to know so much about her, and yet she wanted nothing to do with her. She calculated it in the back of her mind, without the need to actually talk to the man who had drawn the mess of a picture. She could hire her own investigator and have Will's new life soughted out in bits of information that would eventually put herself at rest.

Amongst her hazard contemplating, she noticed that Wills gaze had fallen from hers and set on her wedding ring. Twenty four years, she had devoted herself to Peter.

And behind the insecurity that lay behind herself and Will's complex relationship, she had always supposed that someday, in the distant future, Will would be hers, with her kids and her dream house, her visionary kitchen, added to a dog who would accompany them early in the mornings, she had traced it over and over again in her mind. However the dream could no longer continue, for he already had one of his own.

Disclosure had rubbed the wound raw.

This time, the cut felt less harsh and more familiar.

They continued staring at each other. It was an odd sublime drug to always have Will's eyes on her, like this, lingering around the past as if he thought it was possible they could repair any of it. Her heart reached for more of his staring, but that smart head of hers reminded her that this was only temporary. And he lied, he lied.

Still. Like an addict, her ultimate drug was him, would always be him, and so she allowed herself the honour of catching his eyes flicker back to hers, replaced from guilt and switched into powerful love.

In silence, with nothing but Grace's television show playing in the background, they continued their mental dance. The added fortune she received to look at him so intimately, gave her enough time to confirm her suspicions. The child was completely his.

The door, that was permitted to family only, flew open and a young woman with golden hair rushed in. "Grace! Sorry, I'm so late, I brought sandwiches.. I.. oh my god.." her cheeks blushed red when she noticed the first lady in the room. "Mrs Florrick I'm so sorry, I didn't realise."

"I told her you would have private visitors. She refused to listen," Carter entered quietly, she saw the glimmer in her daughters tired eyes when he moved forward and kissed her forehead gently. Alicia hadn't been acquainted to him long enough to trust him, there was a silent backstory behind their relationship that Grace was quiet about.

"It's okay Maddie" Grace murmured. "You were bound to meet her anyway, mom this is Madison, we work together.. well.. we use to."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Alicia's voice was weak as she answered politely. Her gaze shifting between Will's one and the door. "If you'll excuse me, I have to make a few phone calls outside." As soon as the sound of her heels were leaving, which seemingly exposed her exit, with no doubt in her mind, the added footsteps was owned by Will.

/

The air stretched in her lungs when she fell outside, the exit balcony was hers alone to stand by, though her attention was on nothing but Will following her path. She forced herself to look behind her shoulder, just in time to catch him entering through the heavy door with hurried steps. He paused, winded and lost.

"Tell me it isn't true." She choked out. "I know that this is all a misunderstanding, it has to be right? You would never lie to me about having a child." She avoided eyesight, dreading any sign of the truth that could kill her anyway. She focussed on his form as he moved closer.

"I saw her yesterday, and it wasn't even her that took me by surprise, it was everything about her and I felt it. It was weird and strange and it felt like bugs were crawling on my neck, like I had purposely been kept out of the loop so I wouldn't know. I felt blind, and sick, I tried to run but I couldn't, my feet were paralyzed. And then Samantha walked through the door, and I didn't think I could hate you anymore than in that moment. But then I thought about it this morning; if you told me it wasn't true and that this is all just a dream, I wouldn't hate you anymore."

Before she could take a chance of oxygen, or even look at him, she realised the bitter taste on her lips was her own tears and the strange masculine scent covering her senses, was his warm chest taking her in. His heart bumped fiercely against her cheek, and the abnormal feeling in her own forced her to wonder why she was actually allowing him to hold her.

She moved her hands to his shoulders and pushed him away, his face was raw with emotion, tortured in grief and pain. She had seen that face before, she owned that face.

She covered her own with both hands and broke down, weakness was her best friend and exposure was her second. Samantha and a child and a house and a family and.. everything that she ever wanted. He had it with someone else.

He looked at her with eyes that stung like wasps, "I can live without you.. but I can't live knowing you hate me. Sit down and let me explain, please."

* * *

Eli manoeuvred himself around his territory, his head held high in confidence, the scent of triumph emptied itself in his office, and he smiled when he sat down in his king sized chair, waiting for the call that reflected his monotonous morning.

"Yes Mr President"

"HI Eli, I'm ready."

He crossed the familiar passageway, ignoring the fast speed of several interns rushing through, and he made his way into the oval office. Peter's desk was swelled with papers, his laptop fresh with video conferences.

"Morning Eli. What's on the list of agendas today?" The grey hairs at the temple of Peter's hair reminded Eli of their growing age. How unfair it was that Alicia's seemed to be decreasing! Albeit her youthful appearance nowadays, didn't support the old aged tone of her temper.

"National security update in five minutes sir, then senator Oconor will be arriving to discuss international policies. You have a meeting with assistant u.s attorney at eleven, and then we meet here after lunch. Employment rates will be discussed, also, we need to go over your speech with your press security for tomorrow's conference." Eli managed to catch his breath, his chest racing for oxygen. "And then you have an hour or so to video call Alicia before air force one is ready to leave."

"So it's just a normal day then?" Peter teased,

"Yes, it's just a normal day for us."

There was an interruption just behind Eli's shoulder, Nora peaked through. She never did interrupt him when he was in Peters company, but her tense posture offered some foundation. "Mr Gold.."

"Not right now"

"I think you will want to see this." She peered over her reading glasses.

"Go Eli, I have to make a few personal calls." Peter urged.

Eli sighed when he closed the door behind him, frowning over at his secretary. "What is it?"

She pushed the ipad into his chest, folding her arms as she waited for his reaction. "Why are there photos of Alicia?" he demanded, scrolling through more, until one separate image caught his eye. Panic rose as he zoomed in, Brad Collier was a fine looking man, but the image of his arms locked around Alicia's small waist and her hands raked through his hair, dragged Eli to his least favourite horror film. Lovers, they looked like lovers, their kiss scoped with passion.

"They were taken a week ago, there's a terrace on the rooftop of his restaurant. They were drinking as well."

"Drinking? She's not supposed to drink, not outdoors." The last problem he needed was added rumours of her fictional alcoholic troubles. Eli spotted a black and white photo of Alicia laughing, she had her arm around Brad's bicep and he was smiling with her. She looked happy. He thought.

"Her alcohol intake is the least of our problems."

He had seen Alicia with men, they flirted with her and she accepted it as a part of her job, but this was different. Brad was a famous product and she was a valuable one.

He scrolled through more, endless, mind-changing. A single kiss that could change everything.

"Washington times is threatening to print it without a statement."

His knuckles turned white. "I'm gonna kill her."

* * *

I swear I don't like writing cliff-hangers! They just happen. *guilty hands showing.* Also I'm sorry for this awful one; I'm a horrible shipper. Please review thoughts xx


	21. The Good

They sat in silence, a sad distance for Will to understand that she didn't want him near her. His heart battered his chest so fast he wondered if she could hear it.

Stolen glances seized his attention. He would stay here forever just to convince her that she owned him completely, but he had to remind himself that he had a fiancé waiting for him at home.

He cleared his throat, the thick ice that had been choking him for three years was finally released and he could breathe again. "She's two. Macey is."

"Macey" the end syllable slipped slowly off her tongue

"You named her after your grandmother." Alicia recalled.

Will looked up at her, overwhelmed. "Yes. Macey with a 'c' not an 's'."

She smiled lightly, the child's face flashing through her mind. "I never meant to hurt you" He said. "You're important to me. More than you think."

"I don't care for the hurt, you've done this to me so many times, I can barely keep up. I just wish you had told me. After everything you and I have been through in the past, did I not deserve to be told?" she was puzzled at her own discipline in such a fragile moment. The absence of emotion in her tone of voice told her that she had finally grown. "Whilst you were conceiving your child I was probably at the lowest of my life, and that was all your fault. You moved on quickly Will, you have to admit that."

"I still loved you.." he broke through until she cut him off.

"I don't believe you for a second. If you loved me, you would have called me. You would have told me."

She folded her legs under her feet, wrapped her arms around her knees and was quickly surprised at his lack of objection. He remained quiet this time. And aside from her obvious fury, her chest ripped apart from his silence.

"That night at the white house, when we talked, you told me that Samantha was just a friend. You didn't even swallow. You lied to me then didn't you?... She wasn't just a friend, she was the mother to your baby."

"Baby?" he shook his head fiercely. "Alicia.. Samantha isn't Macey's mother." He looked at her with slight irritation. "If she was, yes I would have told you. I would never allow her to rub any of it in your face."

"But I thought.."

"No." his voice was gentle when he stood from his position and slowly moved to her side. "Can I sit next to you now?"

She shrugged, less enthused then she was when he visited her home months ago. Less welcoming as well; he noticed.

He sat on the edge of the seat, his elbows supported on the soft pad of his jeans, she knew those jeans, she remembered washing them years ago.

"Macey's biological mother" the disdain in his throat from mentioning her existence didn't go unnoticed by Alicia. "wasn't in the best state when I found out she was pregnant. She had been kicked out of rehab several times, she was forced to leave the law for several months, I had her with me because..well.. I.."

"I needed the distraction. After you left, I wasn't in the greatest place either Alicia, anyone can tell you that. I went to work every day hung over, Diane probably has more memory than I do. " He looked at her. "It was a week after you left, Callie came into the firm one day, we went out… I never loved her, she was just there, and even in her state, she pulled me out of the water."

"Callie Simko?" the flash of pain in her eyes killed him, he reached out for her hand but she pushed it to the side. "Her? You had a baby with her?"

He stared at the wall, this time, his gaze clouded with rage, it frightened her, until she realized it was her Will. "One could put it that way, yes, we had a baby together. But she hardly participated in any noble doing. I was patient with her for seven months, aside from the full supervision of her health. She was doing drugs behind my back, drinking whenever she could. It wasn't the greatest time of my life Alicia, and I hope that fixes some of your discomfort."

The silence in the room was almost physically excruciating. His blunt response, one she probably deserved, cut worse than those bombs in sudan.

She had known from office gossip that Callie Simko was a recovering drug addict, but Alicia wasn't one for petty talk, nor did she care in any element.

"Did it harm the baby? The drug and alcohol intake? Did it harm the baby?" she asked, her heart suddenly beating rapidly. She had met countless disabled children in her work. The idea of Will witnessing a similar scene was horrifying.

"Yes" he closed his eyes. He would give everything and anything to reject the possibility of going back. "Macey was born premature, and for her seven month figure, she weighed only three and a half pounds. She couldn't breathe on her own, and her lungs were damaged. Her tiny heart was in constant failure and it was impossible to feed her. Fortunately, I owe people like your sister for saving my life.."

"My.." Alicia swallowed, a tiny smile catching her lips when Victoria tracked her mind. "How did you…"

"Know that she was your sister? I knew the moment she walked in the room this morning. I recognised her, she was head of the surgical department when Macey was born, I'm not sure why I didn't notice the resemblance then. She looks exactly like you Alicia, it's scary."

"She… she reminds me a lot of my father. She's so focused and driven, she cares too.. genuinely, and she's completely normal with me. She makes me dry the dishes, I haven't dried the dishes in four years."

"I know you don't believe in miracles, but if having her, by some fluke, next to Macey when she was born, for just a second. If that isn't any proof.."

"I believe in miracles, but I also see dead bodies every day overseas, innocent, sometimes even children. How is that right? How is it that we get to sit here, in catered rooms when somewhere over in Africa, someone is dying from lack of water, lack of nutrition, lack of health care. Your daughter is entitled to free health care isn't she?" she had entered his personal territory and she knew it, but she was brave enough to know that she still had full power over him, he could never rage at her in the way she wanted.

"I wanted to tell you" he pressed again, he took her hand without hesitancy and held it firmly in the safety of his warm palm. She felt his veins move and his blood pulse through her skin. "You were going to find out about her at some point, I was just hoping it would be pushed a little longer."

"Why didn't you tell me Will?" she pushed herself further, into his private space that was reserved for Samantha. He didn't object, but he didn't praise it either. "Give me the truth, please, did I do something wrong? Is it because I left.."

"No" he insisted. He sighed heavily and searched for courage. "I was ashamed, irresponsibly I got some drug addict knocked up and I forced her to go through with it, not even for the right reasons. I did it out of obligation, because I knew how damaged you were after Zach's abortion. I didn't want you to think low of me. And then when she had the baby, everything changed. I didn't want to tell you for different reasons, shame, fear, worry: I had already pushed you away, I didn't want you running for the hills, so I decided that I would wait for when the time was right. But then Macey.. she.. she got older and bigger and all I wanted to do was protect her. I'm sorry."

He squeezed her skin, he had been waiting for this moment, to let her in, to allow her to witness his new life. "If you had phoned me Will, I would have dropped everything to help you. You went through this all alone, she was premature and weak, regardless of our issues, I would have helped you."

"You wouldn't have left my side Alicia" he touched her cheek with his thumb, a sense of empathy washing over his gaze. "Your campaign was already on its way, you were in the early stages of Africa. I didn't want to take that away from you."

Before she could respond, he continued his sharpened speech. "It's been a while since you last worked at Lockhart Gardner, and I forgave you for leaving." Their heated love affair proved that much, she thought. But closed her lips.

"It's in the past now, but I never really understood why you left the firm the way you did, until I had a child.. I was selfish then, and I'm sorry for making you feel guilty. I just needed to say that, it's been eating at me ever since, especially in the last month." She almost forgot the company of his hand in hers, until she realized the warmth was retreating and his palm was touching her face. She closed her eyes and brushed her cheek against the comfort of his fingers, her halo, her safe haven, her warm place that she could call hers, even for a few short seconds.

Her eyes grimaced fiercely when he kissed her forehead, she expected it to burn through her skin, like a combination of steel and fire, but it felt kind and soft, just like him. "What's wrong?" he panicked after he felt her flinch.

"Nothing" she shook herself out of her episode. He was with Samantha. Samantha who Macey seemed to adore. The Samantha that had stolen Alicia's place before anyone knew it was hers to begin with. She glanced down at their intertwined fingers, and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Why did you do that?"

His face swallowed in guilt when he realized the stain on her forehead was the result of his kiss. He wasn't thinking, he couldn't think. "I don't know."

"I want to meet her." The short syllables were posed as a question, but it seemed more like a threat to her ears. She didn't want to scare his child, however she yearned to meet the small soul that already had her absorbed with needy excitement.

"That would be nice" in addition to his eager eyes, she noticed the uncertainty in his reaction and she smiled. "I work with kids every day, I may not like her father, but I think I'll like her."

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

She had a list of things in her head that needed her attention, added to those few extra paper work piled in her suitcase due to her week off from the campaign. This was more important, she told herself. "Nothing."

"Did you come here to see me?" she asked

"I came here to see how my employee was."

"If you're referring to Grace, she's no longer your employee, she left."

"Yes, you don't have to wave it in my face" he smiled. "I'm still trying to persuade her in returning, she's still welcome."

"She said she doesn't enjoy the rush in the firm, she doesn't like how everyone is out for each other."

"She sounds a whole lot like you."

"Shut up."

She hated how he could laugh, but she smiled when he did.

They pulled apart, in need for air, she pushed the bottom of her feet to the ground, and he manoeuvred his hands into his pockets, the comfort of her warm skin still haunting his own. From the corner of his eye, he caught her sigh while she passed a honey coloured hand through endless layers of silky hair. He remembered Samantha talking about her fine beauty, and regardless of her hint of jealousy, she was correct. Alicia was simply the essence of brilliance, she was complicated and real, and like the image he had of her that first day at Georgetown, he thought she defined what beauty was. Inside and out.

"Why didn't you answer my calls Will?" the topic had changed now, and he estimated from the coats of emotion that washed over her perfect eyes, she was talking about election night. "Was it because you wanted to be free? Or you wanted space? I sent you countless messages." She waited for him to form an answer, but he remained silent, with his eyes focused intensely on hers.

"For eight months I had planned on leaving Peter once the campaign was over, we had planned that together. He had his own life, and we had ours, and then you left. I was thrusted into a job that I didn't want and a large house that I was completely unprepared for. I know it was a while ago, but I wanna know why you didn't answer my calls."

"I.." as soon as he could answer, the door swung open and Alicia jolted in the air. Their moment spoilt. "Will.. there you are. Cary needs to discuss his load of cases…." Diane's eyes widened at the second figure in the room, and then her gaze landed on Wills hand that touched Alicia's knee. The disappointment was there, behind those blue advanced irises of hers, Will could see it, but she urged it away with a welcoming smile and suddenly he felt Alicia pushing his hand away as she stood up. "Alicia…. HI.."

"Diane. Hello, it's lovely to see you again. Will and I were just talking about how long it's been."

"It has… been.. a while.." Diane's displeasure in his presence was sensed mutually between the two partners and why was it that he felt like a school boy? Caught out with the girl that he was supposed to avoid. "Alicia you look well." She added, and the surprise was evident, after a week of false reports speculating Alicia's depression after her trip through war, he was surprised too, though he knew she was strong enough to fight through anything, she was strong enough to fight through him.

"Thanks." Her smile brightened his world.

"I'm sorry, I'm going to steal Will, we are taking the burden of Cary's cases while he's on leave, and Will has forgotten why we're here to begin with."

"Cary can wait a little longer. Alicia was just talking about how much she wanted to see him. Weren't you?" Alicia glared at him, in the childish way that made him laugh, for the sake of the added presence in the room, he kept his amusement silent.

"Yes" Diane agreed. "Cary would love to see you actually, he's been grumpy lately." Will hoped that the anticipation in his heart would show through his eyes, he wanted to spend every second of today with her, losing her again felt close now that she knew about Macey, and if he couldn't have her tomorrow, he wanted her now.

"Come on Alicia"

She sighed, mentally debating whether it was worth the effort to argue, knowing that she would fail anyway, for they were the best lawyers in the state. She nodded. "Okay."

/

Everything had changed. The air lingered differently in this circle. Her shoulders relaxed for the first time in years, and she felt free again, home. This was home, like the old days. Listening to her former colleagues talk about the law so passionately, without a hint of difference because of her presence, and without the need to include her in everything, she felt normal again. Nobody cared for her title, she was just Alicia to them. _Their_ Alicia.

She felt the unknown corridors of Lockhart Agos and Gardner growing in her mind, what did their lives look like now? Did they have large black fences too? Did they have bullet proof vests tucked in the back of their cars like she did? Did they have five different cell phones in one pocket?

"Judge Kennedy doesn't like me, but Will is his hero, so you can take that one." Cary threw the stack of readings in front of him. "The case is about a woman who was illicitly charged for fraud against her business in 2009. She spent three years in prison until they discovered that she was innocent. She's suing them for thirty million."

"Yea I remember this one." Will pushed the bridge of his reading glasses further into his skin as he flipped through pages. Despite the way it made him ridiculously handsome, it wasn't intentionally performed to catch her attention, but it did.

She distracted herself with listening to Cary's stories, he talked of Grace, and how she reminded them as a promising smaller Alicia who trusted in religion. If there was such a thing, she thought.

Zach was her life, her only son, and regardless of their passed differences, he had no tolerance for anybody who disliked her, so she was naturally surprised to find that he lingered around the firm for more than a few months, stomaching the downsides of office politics.

"He's not afraid to speak his mind, he drives Will up the wall." Cary added

"That is a total understatement, he drives me through football fields."

"You are not tainting my son with your awful sport monologues are you?"

"Awful sport monologues? What on earth are you talking about?" Will answered boldly, his passionate grin ringing through her senses, she marveled in the sight, savoring it for when she would leave and he was on her mind.

"So how is the campaign going Alicia?" Diane asked, out of politeness to the awkward silence held by her and Will's gaze.

She sighed, and laughed lightly. "It's… going." Slowly, it was going. _Call Brad._ She mentally reminded herself.

"I still think being a lawyer is ten times easier." she added

"Can you take Cary with you on your next travels?" Will asked. "Nobody wants him anymore."

Cary's laughter rebounded the walls, and then he stopped and clung to his rib. "Ouch."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine" he waved it off, they sat back in silence, posture tense.

He continued with his banter. "You didn't answer Will's question Alicia, can you take me with you?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Come on, we're friends" he begged

"No, Cary… you wouldn't last a day out there." A large smile graced their features, and Will made a comment about how the rebellion of first year associates would rejoice in the sight of Cary among the desert.

The image seemed much more appealing than what it actually looked like, but she guessed they already had an image painted in their minds, and she refused to spoil that for any of them.

She still couldn't grasp onto the reality of their presence. A familiar smile enhanced her face. She thrived in their company, feeling completely at ease with herself, she almost forgot about the lifestyle that called to her around the nation, the home that wasn't even a home, and the crowded agents outside that reminded her of how inept normal was, that is, until, Marissa rudely interrupted their union as she pushed through the door. She held Alicia's coat in one hand, and the other catered to her own purse, a sign that they were forced to leave. "We have to go."

"Marissa!" Alicia glowered up at her. "Oh sorry, Hi Cary, I don't mean to be rude." She ignored Will and Diane.

"Marissa, how are you?" Cary's cheerful behavior made Alicia question what drugs he was on now.

"I'm good thank you, shit job and all."

He laughed. "It can't be that bad can it?" he teased

Marissa moved closer, "Your precious friend, Alicia, forces me to walk through degrees of heat and hike through mountain rangers, she's cruel. I plan on suing her in thirty years when she's incapable of defending herself."

"You're taking her away from us now?" Will joked, Alicia ignored his teasing, the image of him and Samantha with their child still remained as its painful wound in her chest. And though Samantha wasn't the mother to his daughter, she stood closer than Alicia did. The twist in her stomach reminded her that she could never be that person.

"Just for five minutes." Marissa pulled her into the passage way.

"That was embarrassing, You don't just walk in and pull me out."

"You slept with Brad." The wave of shock slammed her through the wall, instantly, she looked around, searching for any open ears. She curved back, her voice low. "Where did you get that from?"

"Oh my god" she stepped back, "You did. You slept with him, you won't even deny it!"

"Marissa be quiet.."

"Do you have any idea what you've done?"

"Marissa, where the hell are you getting this from?" she demanded

"The Washington herald released several photos of you two just over an hour ago, Dad has been trying to force the press to turn away, but it's all over now. You look just as guilty as you must feel."

"Show me the goddamn photos."

The first image was of her between the balcony that settled just outside his restaurant, Zahara had fallen asleep that night at dinner, and she allowed herself to indulge in the fresh wine upstairs whilst her toddler slept in his arms.

The next image was of Brad's figure standing behind her, his delicate hand touching just the base of her hair behind her neck, she remembered his breath, the scent of his handsome cologne and warm lips. She promised herself, long ago, that she respected him, she respected herself enough to stay away, though in the heat of the moment, with hunger at the ends of her throat, lust had given into temptation.

The images swayed further into obvious certainty, though completely portrayed out of context. She had both arms wrapped around his shoulders, tender, raw, kind, affectionate, that's what he was, that's what she saw, and do doubt that's what everyone else saw.

She remembered pulling away, murmuring her unease. "I can't do this." She had said, and his response was one she had expected, "I know. I'm sorry." he was never forceful, he never drove himself to get past her barrier, he refused to push her, it just wasn't in his nature to corner, he wasn't like Will.

He wasn't Will.

And that was the only difference that held her back from falling for Brad's charming qualities.

The last image showed Brad following her into the building, representing an entirely different story from the truth. There was no chance that an eye could reach that high, not when they were on the roof of his building. Which meant the lens was long, and the photographer was desperate. "We didn't sleep together" she brought herself back to reality, facing Marissa's pending outrage. "We kissed, I told him I couldn't do it and he carried Zahara into the car where we took off for our flight. That's all that happened."

* * *

Zach knocked on his sisters door, careful of Carter's presence. "Hey, where's mom?" he stood near the wall with the heaviest child in his arms.

She shrugged, "I don't know. She took off and then never came back."

"I think she had to do some business," Carter's sweet character tried to justify Alicia's actions. "Why, what's the problem?"

"I have to go to work soon and I can't take Zahara with me. Mom said she would be here."

"Give her to me" Grace stretched her arms out for her little sister, eyes glazed with excitement. "I want hugs"

"No" Zach fought. "She wants to play, don't you sweetie?" Zahara nodded, not quite sure what he was talking about.

The same play area was there for her, with piles of toys and books, the guard who stood outside the door would be Zahara's main supervision for now. "I'm gonna go find mommy, I won't be long okay?" he looked down at her.

"Momma?" her small eyes expanded in happiness.

"Yes."

He left her alone to enjoy the momentary silence, and the comfortable sense of security she had in her tiny anticipated life. He hoped his mother had a plan for her future, one that didn't include tall white doors and brazen cameras.

Zahara reached for the book with blue covers and white bunnies, her small finger touched the pictures, and then she reached out for the nearest toy which happened to be a stuffed dog. She hugged it and then hugged the next one, squeezing it with warmth and love, the same kind of hugs her mother would give her every second of each day they embodied together.

Zahara's tiny consciousness hadn't noticed the added presence in the room, and Samantha hadn't noticed her either, when she willed Macey into the room on her own. "Stay here Mace, I'll go find daddy kay? Go read a book or something."

She nodded sweetly, and watched Samantha rush out in search for her partner. Macey's gaze hurried for the books. Short feet with small ballet flats traced themselves towards the familiar shelves. Macey, in her sweet innocent character, smiled at the younger kid who stood next to her.

Zahara wasn't accustomed to other children, though she did recognize, through nursed eyes, that the girl was one of her kind, and she smiled warmly.

Macey pushed the box of toys in her direction, she was nervous when her friendly nature pursued. "Do you wanna play?"


	22. The Hospital

AN. Its been a millennium, I know, but I'm sorry, I literally have no time to write anything these days. Sending virtual hugs to those who are still reading, and to those who are suffering from the fact that our beloved show is ending for good, 2 more episodes :(

* * *

Cary's doctor had made her concerns famous to the room at this point. Mr Agos needed rest if he had any chance at leaving his bedroom. Diane and Will nodded, as did Zach and the rest of them.

"Will" Samantha was quick to catch him when he stepped outside the room, and her arrival was one he certainly did not need, not now, not in Alicia's presence. Instantly, he wondered where Alicia was and if somebody had stolen her from him again.

"Sam?" Judging by the small coat she held, which belonged to his daughter, he knew immediately that she had brought Macey with her.

"I'm sorry.. I know, I was supposed to drop Macey off at Sara's but your sister called and lilly got into an accident at school so she can't baby sit. And I have to pack for New York tonight, and catch up on sleep. I can't take Macey with me everywhere you know?"

The tone of her voice implied that she thought Macey as some type of obligation. As if it was her duty to look after her, and though Will knew it wasn't true, he couldn't help but think of it negatively. He waited for the apology that would soon leave her lips, just like it often did when she realised she was uptight. "babe I'm sorry" she touched his arm. "I'm just so tired and stressed. I haven't even started packing for my meeting in New York."

"You're only going for a few days.."

"A few days still suggests a suitcase worthy of my closet." She joked

"Fine. Leave her here. Where is she?"

"She's in the playroom. Tell her that I'll see her when I get back from my trip."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "Will?" she flinched when his arms refused to accommodate her. It felt wrong. To hug her. When less than an hour ago, he had his eyes and devoted attention on the only woman who could take his heart.

"What is it?"

"Nothing" he lied. "Just.. You're leaving tonight." Was it wrong, that all he could think about was all the possibilities entailed for a few days of Samantha's absence and Alicia's company? He was awful, he knew that, he admitted it. But looking at Sam now, with her concerned eyes, reminded him just how much of an idiot he was.

"Aw I love you too" she replied. Kissed his lips. "You know what I could do with?" she whispered. "Some sexual recovery to ease the tension." She smiled, and wrapped her arms tighter around his waist.

With the scent of Alicia's perfume still lingering around the area. He tensed and shook his head. "Sam.." pulling away. He felt guilty when he saw her smile falter.

"Just.. I'll make it home early tonight okay?" he brushed her cheek with his thumb. "Go home, pack your bags, and get some rest. I love you."

"I" she sighed. "Okay. Give Mace my love."

"I will. Bye." He smiled at her softly, and then followed Diane's path, she must have heard some of their conversation: for she rushed immediately to the play room and to Macey's surprisingly cheerful laughter.

When he entered the room, the last scene he expected was the company of another toddler. He recognised her immediately. How difficult could it be? With her astonishing radiant skin, and her tiny delicacy, with her big green eyes and happy innocent smile. He had seen some photos of her through the news, ones that the press could find anyway, but she looked just as adorable as the first night he met her.

Diane stood unmoving, as did he, and every other ghost in the area. Macey and Zahara lay on the ground, with countless toys and accessories pooling their tiny forms. Macey pointed towards the plastic stars imbedded into the roof, and Zahara smiled.

He heard the familiar feet of Zach's behind him, and turned around just in time to catch his reaction. "What's going on?"

"I have no idea." Will answered

"I left her in here alone, only five minutes ago"

"It looks like Macey has abducted your sister. I'm sorry." Will said

Zach moved around, just enough for Zahara to take in his presence. She sat up immediately with eyes that could lure jesus if it were possible. She was truly beautiful, enticing, for her small age. Almost unreal, as if kindness in her given features were designed for Alicia's soft care only.

"Momma?" she asked Zach, knowing that he had made a promise.

"I found her, but she looks a bit busy. Momma will find you soon." It was strange, seeing Zach this way. The young man was often cold when it came to others. Maybe that had a lot to do with his journey as the only son to the most powerful couple in the country. Or maybe it was something else.

"Wanna play with us?" Macey asked under those innocent lashes she owned. Zach was jelly under her, but he put up enough restraint to last a short second.

"I have to go actually Mace…" when her smile turned into a sad frown, Zach closed his eyes. "Okay."

/

Her heels screamed its excruciating tune through the floors as she moved back and forth. "Eli.. tell me you can fix this, please." She whispered through the phone. The sound of her plead sounded so foreign to her ears, and to anybody else's, she guessed it was.

"I'm trying" he breathed. "They have already printed it Alicia. In about a couple of hours it will go viral. But that's okay, Peter has a plan, he has an announcement to make regarding his Supreme Court nominations and we're hoping that will overtake the article."

"Article? I thought they were just photos."

"No Alicia, we live in the twenty first century. You need to call Brad, please. I have... I have to go now.."

"Wait…" Eli hung up before she could verbally attack him. The seat behind her saved her from falling when she slumped down and ran her hands through her hair.

"Is there anything I can do?" Marissa was soft now, her anger reduced to guilt. Alicia pealed an eye away from darkness and looked up at her.

"Get a gun?"

"That would be pretty impossible nowadays with your husband changing the rules."

She closed her eyes and smiled, only Marissa would say something as absurdly relevant in their circumstances. Instantly she thought of Grace, and the bullet that had destroyed her perfect skin. Alicia's chest dropped from her own words, selfish. She thought.

This wasn't about her, this was about Brad, and Zahara's future and Zach and Grace and Peter and the stability of their jobs and…

A loud screeching laughter drowned the halls of the hospital, and her maternal instinct immediately knew who it was. She could recognise the chorus of such a beautiful song anywhere. It had only been a little less than 24 hours since she had Zahara in her arms, but it felt like a long decade.

She followed the noise, and she traced the familiar path which led her back into the play room. The area was crowded with familiar faces, Steve was chatting with Will, and if Will wasn't one of her least favorite people, she would have joined. Though, Zahara was in the air in Owen's arms and Cary was trying his hardest with one functioning leg to get her attention. She smiled mildly at the sight.

The unfamiliar face that alienated her mind for the last day was there too, in the corner, with Diane Lockhart wrapped around her finger: Macey was strange to her eye, her flushed face and perfect chocolate eyes stolen from her father's.

Alicia closed her eyes and blocked the image of Will with his perfect family. She bent down just in time for Zahara to crash into her arms. "Momma" she bloomed with happiness, her small hands weaved around her neck and she snuggled herself into Alicia's neck.

"Hi my baby" she burrowed her nose into her thick hair, the scent of fresh apples lingered from her shampoo, Zach must have bathed her that morning.

"Did you have a good time with your brother?" Alicia's attitude from when she entered the room up until she bent down had changed. She was thrilled and indisputably happy to have her safe bubble around her, even if it was just for a few seconds.

Zahara nodded in response, her eyes eager to catch Zach's ones. Alicia looked over her outfit, she wore matching purple shoes with her long purple coat and leggings underneath. Alicia looked up at Owen. "Did you dress her?"

"Yes? Why? What did I do now?"

"Nothing, it's just that she doesn't like purple."

"She's one years old"

"She doesn't like purple."

Owen blew out air and shook his head, she laughed to herself, their sibling connection still remained the same.

"Home?" she asked her little girl. Green colored eyes perked up, and the mention of distance had Zach and Grace turning sideways.

"dadda?"

Alicia brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "hmm, will see dadda soon. We're gonna tuck Grace back into bed because your sister is suppose to be resting." She threw a glare towards Grace's direction. She looked down at her child and tucked her coat closer. "Did you miss me?" she whispered

Zahara played with the ends of her hair, and she guessed that was the only response she would be getting at this point. "Are you going?" Grace looked at her with a haunting sad expression, it broke Alicia's heart.

"Yes" Marissa answered for her.

"No" Alicia rebounded.. "I mean yes.. but only for a little while. I just need to take care of some business."

"That's code word for world war three is about to approach." Owen teased, however her silence had his smirk dropping to the ground.

"Are we going to war?" Grace panicked

"No. Oh my god stop. I need to go."

Only then, did she remember that they weren't alone. The crowded room had been drawn in warm conversation with others. Though Will's was partly on her, and her own was on his child, she cursed anyone above to stop playing this foolish game.

She picked Zahara off the ground and settled her onto her hip. Grace looked at her mother with slight irritation, and Zach seemingly noticed the collision that was soon taking place with Macey running for her father.

Will picked her up when her little arms reached for him. Alicia's heart wasn't doing its normal rhythm, not in the poetic speed that often drove with Will in sight. The image of him with his child was pulling the strings in her chest, and the sudden glimpse into this new life was strangely alluring. She could get use to that image.

Already, she began to imagine another world for them, with early morning kisses, followed by pancakes on the veranda, and a walk with the girls along the beach. It was only then, did she realize that he had corrupted her completely, with his charm and sweet smile and god.. the way he simply looked at Macey. Alicia had never seen it before.

She shifted towards their direction, and smiled fondly at Will. "If I remember correctly, you never fail at your promises Gardner."

He laughed easily, his eyes shining in the familiar way she once adored. "You're right... Mace.. this is.."

"I'm Alicia" she stretched a formal hand out to her small one, the touch was soft, tiny, and powerful. A strange mix, and when the two year old smiled at her, Alicia didn't think she'd be able to survive the worst of this child, not when a simple smile of hers could turn her day around.

"I'm so happy to finally meet you." she said. "I've heard so much about you." -that was a lie, but she had a reputation with kids. and she couldn't afford to mess that up by the swamp of butterflies that dined in her stomach.

"Are you Gracey and Zach's mommy?" the gentle caress of her sweet-childlike voice captured Alicia's soul completely. This was not good, this was not good. She thought.

"Yes" she laughed lightly, nervously. "Did you know that Zach wanted to be a superhero when he was your age?"

"Really?" her voice hitched gorgeously and her brows raised in curiosity.

"Yep" Peter use to buy him red capes and fly him around the house, Alicia remembered. "And Grace, you like Grace?"

Macey nodded "Yea"

"Well.. Grace.. when she was your age, she use to bring small bugs into the house and pretend that they were pets. She use to say it was too cold outside"

Laughter could be heard a mile away, but Alicia's ears were only privy to Will's one. "In my defense I was two years old okay?" Grace argued

"Two and a half" Alicia corrected

"Guys, I hate to interrupt, but we really need to go.." Marissa announced.

Alicia looked back at Will, and smiled in the way she knew he adored. "I'll see you around, I promise." And then she smiled down at Macey, those brown eyes catching hers once more. "Promise me you'll boss your daddy around for me ok?"

She nodded. "Okay"

"Are you coming back?" Grace asked when Alicia tugged Zahara closer to her chest and made her way for the door.

"I will.. Go to sleep now. Or else I will call Victoria."

"It feels like you're going away for a while"

Alicia looked down at her, "I'm coming back, I promise. Now get some rest." and with that, she left.

* * *

"Goodbye" Will heard Grace say, sarcastically with a hint of bitterness at the ends of her tongue. "It was good seeing you mom" she mumbled

"She said she's coming back." Carter argued

"No… I know that look in her eye. She's been called overseas, or someone, something needs her. She'll come back later with a valid excuse and I will accept it because it's her job. Let's go. I'm tired." Will had never seen her so exhausted when she stood up, she moved to him and brushed Macey's curls behind her ear.

"Well?" Grace asked. "What did you think?"

Macey's green eyes danced once more. She lent into Grace's ear, and whispered softly so that only she could hear. "She's pretty."


	23. The Fight

Alicia adjusted the webcam above the television screen in Victoria's study. The light that casted through the windows was much more forgiving than the dark one in the bedroom. She adored the way the meadow light emphasized Zahara's big green eyes. The soft pad of her hair, so familiar in its gentle touch, excelled in light, with an angle-like crown circling her presence as she sat on the table. Alicia sat with her too, listening to Peter via skype, she moved back and forth between his power in toddler communication and Zahara's eagerness to respond.

"She keeps getting bigger and taller every day." He said. The soft light in the background of his image told her that it was a miserable day in Washington, the kind where she would have to call for maintenance to seize the heating in their bedroom.

"Well she does spend a fair amount of time with her brother. Zach eats like a horse, and apparently she's following his traits."

"She still likes Zach?"

"Like isn't an accurate term. She prefers nobody but him, if I'm not to put her to bed, it must be him. And if he isn't there to greet her in the mornings, she has a big tantrum." It was true. Zahara had an immediate draw to men. Peter. Zach. Brad. Eli. Sometimes even Will. And recently, Cary, though Alicia was still calculating the amount of days it would take him to fall into Zahara's charm.

"Why am I not surprised? Those green eyes can lure anyone in."

"Peter" she began, prepared to change topics. The elephant on her shoulders forced her to look at him directly, only to catch him shaking his head.

"Don't" his voice tightened. "Eli is handling it."

"Brad's entire career is going to be destroyed.." her own voice tightened, and the tears gathered on their own.

"Eli is handling it.."

"I don't care what Eli is doing!" she stood up hastily. "You could care less for Brad, but he's.. he's.."

"He is what?" Peter raised one brow, and at her silence, he leant against his chair and ran a tired hand through his hair. "Are you in love with him?"

"No, NO. This isn't four years ago. He is a friend and I care about him."

"Alicia.. I don't want to argue over a video call alright? I don't want to talk about Brad Collier. Can I just look at Zahara and not talk to you"

"Do you think this is best for her? Living like this? Fighting all the time? She knows when I'm sad, she knows more than any of us. I don't wanna live like this anymore Peter." Impulsively, she grabbed Zahara from her circle of toys and lifted her into her arms, the warmth of her child immediately calmed her quaking voice as she rocked her softly.

"Then leave me."

His choice of words had her hastening a second glance. Peter's natural poker face betrayed her disturbed mind. What did he say?

He continued, gently. "You're unhappy, I'm unhappy. I see the way you look at Vanessa, there isn't an ounce of jealously when you see her. You almost like her don't you? How is it normal that you can like the woman I'm in love with?"

It was the first time he had confessed it. The one word syllable for a woman that wasn't herself. She didn't know if she should cry or celebrate. The possibility of freedom felt so close, and yet, she couldn't find the strength to leave him, not when they had Zahara, not when they had this life together, albeit a busy life, it was still _their_ life.

She grabbed the remote control, and her thumb addressed the soft pad of the exit button. She could turn him off and pretend that this didn't happen. She had that kind of control now.

"Listen to me" he begged. "Eli will be in Chicago tomorrow night, by then we will know where the photos stand. Maybe we will all be lucky and return back to normal, but if not, the press won't stay away."

She tucked Zahara's small head under her neck as her child pressed her cheek against her heart. Alicia had always been territorial over Zahara, and it was worse when in Peter's presence.

She noticed his gaze linger on Zahara's tired eyes, he smiled mildly, and she used that moment as their farewell. "I should put her to bed"

"Yea"

"I'll tell Grace you sent your love."

Before he could say anything, she exited out from the webpage and turned the screen off.

She glanced down at Zahara and smiled at her sweet sleepy face. "I think momma made a mistake."

She raised her small eyebrows up as if she was protesting on Peter's behalf. "I think your sister is upset that we left her." Alicia corrected

Zahara's response appeared as an elusive eye roll, as innocent and guiltless as it was, Alicia laughed anyway. The joy of being a parent this late was overwhelming. And it felt beautiful to know that Will shared the same feeling. She held her closer as she thought of Peter's painful and necessary request. "I'm never leaving you" she promised Zahara "Dada can demand for a divorce but you're all mine." She sounded slightly crazy, maybe a bit lunatic. But she didn't care.

/

Alicia skipped past the reception desk on Graces floor, and made her way for Grace's bedroom. She knocked on the door softly, and peaked through with squinted eyelids. The last time she had forced herself in, a few days ago, she had walked in amongst Grace and Carter making out, and she refused to ever experience such embarrassment again.

"He's not here." Grace's sing song voice sounded like bliss. "Carter had to go to work, Will and Diane have him on some of Cary's cases." She explained.

"He sounds like a nice guy" Alicia's reply sounded sincere, though Grace knew her mother's cautious edge.

"Will? Yea, he's great."

Alicia smiled. "I was talking about Carter."

Alicia sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Zahara's teddy bear from under her arm. Grace laughed as she took the one eyed bear. "Where is she?"

"I left her at home with Marissa. She's having a nap."

"She doesn't like me.."

"Zahara loves you!"

"No. She loves Zach, she doesn't feel the same about me. She likes Carter, maybe that's a good thing."

"Your sister has a charm with guys, you should be careful you know, she might steal Carter away before you even notice." Alicia grinned.

"Not funny" Grace touched the fabric of Alicia's clothing. "You're wearing my Georgetown hoodie."

"You gave it to me?"

"I let you borrow it mom.." Alicia smiled.

"Well I guess we're even now. I still have a wardrobe of clothes that have disappeared in the last year."

Her heart seized joy when Grace giggled. She was so happy. "All my clothes are at Carters so if you want them back, you'll have to find his place."

Alicia nodded. Grace talked of Carter a lot lately.

"You and Carter are pretty close?" close enough that Grace was living at his place.

Alicia would rather be anywhere else then here, but the much needed conversation was there for her to grasp, and so she took a deep breath and dived in.

"Are you using protection?"

The smile fell from Grace's lips and her jaw collapsed. "MOM!"

"I know… I know.. I don't want to have this conversation either okay? But we never did.. and you're so young.. and.. and your father said that if I didn't do it. He would. Do you really want that embarrassment to happen?"

Grace covered her tomato blushed face and dug her head into her knees. "No.."

"Grace come on.. You're an adult now."

"Exactly! I'm an adult! You're opinion doesn't matter now."

"I just care about you.. And you've just recently graduated.. you have so much ahead of you. You're twenty two! I'm not ready to be a grandmother just yet."

"Have you forgotten that I still have my faith?"

"Faith..?"

"I'm still a Christian mom."

She was confused and stumbled slightly, shaking her head. "What does that mean?"

Grace sighed. "What do you think it means?"

When recognition dawned on her, Alicia made no attempt at hiding her surprise. "oh.. OH"

Grace shook her head, she could never get passed her mother's dull character sometimes. "So you're…"

"Don't even say it" Grace interrupted. "Yes. I'm still close with my faith. Carter understands that, he respects that. It's not all about sex with us. We love each other, I love him so much sometimes it hurts mom." This was the most open Grace had ever been with her. Alicia felt a sad tug in her chest, was this not good reason for her to move back home? She was reminded of everything that forced her to look the other way. She loved her job. She loved her kids, and those other kids that she considered her own. She loved them. And maybe that was her problem. She loved too much.

"Oh honey" she moved forward and brought her into her chest. She kissed her hair and rubbed her back. This was good. Grace was a virgin. And for the first time, as unfamiliar as it felt, she felt like praising her daughter's choice of religion.

Grace's vanilla perfume lingered around her nose, she remembered the smell at Victoria's home, before everything fell apart.

"What is it?" Grace asked.

"Nothing.. it's just.." it felt strange. "Your perfume.."

"Grandma got it for me.."

"I know…. But the day you got shot, before your brother called. Victoria and I were sitting on the grass and I could smell your scent, it was almost as if you were sitting there with us. I smelt blood too.."

"It was god." There was a sparkle in Grace's eye, the kind that forced Alicia to retort from overstepping her boundary.

"Do you not see it mom? You have to believe it, fate was looking out on us, on you." She smiled radiantly, it brightened Alicia's world.

"Yea baby.. You're right. Fate was looking out on us." For once.

"You sound tired.." Grace noticed. "Did you not get enough sleep last night?"

"Have you been on the internet lately?" Alicia ventured,

"No.. why?"

Cnn had done a special report on herself and Brad's joining earlier that morning. Alicia was surprised to find that Grace hadn't seen it. "I have to tell you something."

/

"Yea.. hmm… no Sara… yea that's fine… No.. Sam has to go on a work trip for the week.. can you just look after Macey tonight please? I have work… Yes yes.. ok thanks." He hung up and sighed. His sister was agony, she was the throb in his back that reminded him each day on the importance of responsibility and time management.

He rolled his eyes. He was the top litigator in Chicago, and his firm was the largest in the country. He knew the meaning of time management, and he had Macey as a gentle reminder of his responsibilities.

Tucking the phone inside his pocket, he made his way back into Cary's room. Diane hadn't returned that morning, so Will had the difficult task of going through Cary's computer files. Albeit a rough job since he already had a lot to deal with.

Alicia and Brad Collier. Brad Collier and Alicia. It was not even a day ago that she had accused him of being a liar, when she had her own lover too; Will's fist hurt from the wall he had punched that morning.

"Ok, I need stuff on the Layton's case."

"They're in alphabetical order" Cary handed his laptop over with one hand, he grimaced painfully in the wake of his left thigh. Will looked over him, concerned.

"Should I call the nurse?"

"No.. no. It's fine. Beth is in alphabetical order."

"Huh?"

"Beth Layton, the file is in my documents"

"Oh right.. I.." Will sighed and sat down. "I'll go through it later. I can take this with me?"

"Take it all with you." Will would have to be blind had he not noticed the way Cary looked over him skeptically.

"You don't look so good"

"You know, I've seen you in better days too."

Cary chuckled, "No, you don't look great. What is it?"

Will shook his head and ran an exhausted hand along his face. Alicia and Will had been absent to one another's company for years, she had her own life in… in Washington, afirca, asia, Cambodia, wherever the hell it was she lived. And he had his own.

Still, she managed to have such a large effect on him.

"I don't know… it's just this stuff with Alicia." Was driving him insane. Their unfinished conversation from the other day still needed to be addressed, and she had gone through every length to avoiding it

"You two are still on that boat?" Cary looked at him with pity

"Yea, I think the boat is sinking this time. She found out about Macey a few days ago. She's hurt, we talked for a while yesterday but then Diane interrupted us and we came in here. Afterwards, she met Macey, by pure coincidence, but she still refused to look at me."

"She probably just needs time.."

"We don't have a lot of time… She's not staying here forever, I can't beg her to stay for me. Not I'm committed to Samantha."

"Then why not let Alicia go?"

The question was inevitable. Like time, time was unavoidable, it would always continue, but he didn't have enough of it.

The answer was simple though. He couldn't let her go because he loved her.

He thought of Macey. His child didn't deserve to be thrown into the spotlight, he couldn't have her face on news outlets, and he couldn't allow himself to be like Brad Collier; who was currently moving among eggshells as the press ripped him to shreds. The poor guy, he had every woman and man in American loathing his existence.

"I guess you're right."

"She deserves to be happy. You do too. Sometimes we just have to let it go.." Cary, the experienced psychoanalyst that he was, smiled foolishly.

Will was just about to agree when he heard the loud screech of musical laughter just outside the room. His heart leapt instantly. Alicia had a crispiness to her voice, only ever adored under the security of his bed sheets. He remembered waking up to that sound; in Owen's apartment, with her soft kisses and her forgiving eyes.

Will stood up and moved to the door, he looked outside, and he caught her slim figure spinning around in someone else's arms. Alicia's smile was contagious as Brad Collier spun her through air like a doll. She had the phone in her hand and he set her down and she jumped on her toes. Somebody was talking through speaker, and suddenly Alicia was crying tears of joy. "We did it!" Brad exclaimed.

"We did!" she threw her arms around his neck and laughed. "Oh my god I can't believe it… I've been trying for six months and it's finally happening."

"This is why we do what we do Alicia." He looked at her, in the way that Will used to look at her "These children are going to have the best facility because of you. I'm so proud."

"I couldn't have done any of it without you."

They were exposed, Brad and Alicia. They had eyes and ears on their perfect outlines and strangely, Will didn't feel envious. He felt scared, scared for her, afraid for her reputation, her credibility being involved with this man. His feet moved forward before he could even grasp what he was doing.

"Alicia"

She looked back, and her face changed instantly "Will?" her cheeks grew a beautiful pink color, and it felt nice when she pulled away from Brad. "You're still here?"

"Yea, I stayed overnight" he joked. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is... fine. I.." she looked over his body, his dress attire was straight from court, and he mentally wondered why it caught onto her so significantly. "You're looking at the new shareholder for the newest children's hospital in Ethiopia"

"Leesh that's so great" he touched her arm, and her entire face lit up.

"Oh my.. we're being so rude.. Will this is Brad... Brad this is.." she swallowed. "Will"

"It's a pleasure to meet you" Brad acknowledged, his arm introduced itself into Will's one.

Will wished he could say the same thing. "It's pleasing to see that Alicia has so many friends, it was never this way when we were together."

She punched his shoulder in protest "hey!"

"When you were together?" Brad asked, Alicia jumped in before Will could answer.

"Will and I went to law school together.. and we worked together for a while"

"For five years and six months until she left me" it was implied as a joke, but Will's expression suggested otherwise, and frankly, Alicia didn't understand where he was coming from. That was history now. She raised her eyebrows up at him.

"Ah right.." it was obvious that Brad felt awkward by the way his posture stiffened and he stepped backwards. "Well, it was good to meet you. Now I know who to contact if i ever need a good lawyer huh?" he nudged Alicia's arm.

"I have a short list of the best in the business."

"Cool.. well, I have to go, but I'll see you later on? With Eli?"

"Unfortunately yes" she laughed. "Bring a bottle of wine please"

"As long as you promise to bring that kid of yours."

"Zahara doesn't like wine"

He laughed again, and then looked at Will. "She's trouble."

Will smiled. "An understatement."

"Oh and.. Brad?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for coming. And I'm sorry about Eli.. forcing you down here and everything.."

He nodded, "I need this fixed just as bad as you do."

They watched him leave, and then Alicia looked up at Will. "What has gotten into you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You just seem... not yourself.."

"In case you haven't noticed, its been a while"

"Yea, and whose fault is that?"

"Are we still playing this game?"

"What game?"

"Where you blame me for everything that ever went wrong in our relationship."

"You like playing the victim don't you?"

"Not as much as you do"

"Why are you being like this?" she threw her hands up. "You're ruing my day Will. I don't want to argue. Not with you. Not now."

She began to walk away, and left him in his own darkness. He couldn't let her go, not when he needed her to stay. "Alicia" he said her name softly, but she heard it.

He walked towards her back and she felt the heat of his closeness. "Will.. don't"

"I proposed to Samantha."

She tensed, the muscles in her back flexed and she covered her stomach in case there wasn't enough air in her lungs to hold it.

Turning around, the sting in her green eye reflected the distress in his chest. She squinted, almost in agony.

"You what?"


	24. The Surrender

_"_ _I know this doesn't make any sense, but it was just a kiss. I don't want you or your brother to think that this was.."_

 _"_ _Was what?" Grace snapped. "A real love affair? How could you have been so reckless mom? You were outside"_

 _"_ _We were on the rooftop, there wasn't a building that could reach far enough for anybody to notice us. I thought I had privacy. We both thought that. I know that this isn't ideal.."_

 _"_ _I can't believe you.."_

 _"_ _Grace please.."_

 _"_ _No mom… What happens now? What happens to dad? To us? To.. him.."_

 _"_ _His name is Brad. And I don't know yet."_

 _"_ _What about Will?" she snapped._

 _Alicia flinched backwards. Taken completely aback by thin air. "What?"_

 _"_ _I see the way he looks at you, I see the way you look at him! I'm not blind. Where does he fit into this? You're just gonna run off with Brad and forget about everything?"_

 _Alicia allowed the silence to take its contemporary course before she removed herself from her seat. "I'm going to give you a few hours to rest.. and hopefully take in what you've just said to me. Whatever you think you know of me and Will, you're off base Grace." She touched her hand, gently. "I love you. Get some rest."_

 _She left the room, the weight of the conversation burning her shoulders and leaving her weak. She found the nearest chair, and used it as her only source of support. A bed and the sight of her child's resting face was her only motivation to stay alert, and the voice in the back of her mind forced her to remain attentive._

 _"_ _You look as worse as I had originally imagined." The voice was familiar, yet distant, and almost delighted, as if he was rolling in joy for her discharged state. She popped her head up, just in time to catch his smug reaction._

 _"_ _I have been trying to get a hold of you for the last twenty four hours!"_

 _"_ _I know" he looked down, guilty. The shade of his soft dark hair was striking against the contrast of his pale skin. She didn't know why she noticed it, or how she allowed herself to indulge in its youthful handsomeness._

 _"_ _I've been… busy.."_

 _"_ _Busy?" she stood up. "I hope that entails a lot of suffering on your part Mr Collier, since I'm the only one who has been forced to deal with the wrath of my husband's chief of staff."_

 _"_ _It was your husband's chief of staff who flew me down here.. After I was forced to leave my children on the only vacation time I had with them."_

 _Guilt sunk her core and she moved to him. "I'm sorry.. I've ruined everything. I understand if you refuse to work with me ever again, I'm gonna do everything to fix this."_

 _"_ _Before we get emotional and start crying over our vigorous experience." He smiled, "I have a man on the line who would like to talk to you?" Brad's phone was shielded but the caller ID was familiar. She glared at him, for no particular reason, and answered carefully._

 _"_ _Alicia Florrick?"_

 _"_ _Yes Mrs Florrick, it's Bryan.. do you remember me? From Ethiopia, I work for the company that handles the tools on the construction site.."_

 _"_ _Yes.. yes.. I remember you. You made my daughter laugh by blowing bubbles in her face."_

 _She caught Brad laugh from the corner of her eye, "Yes mam. I'm just calling to let you know that the big boss came in with a final adjustment." She could hear the sound of a chainsaw and a hammer rumbling the background of his call. He was on site now.. which meant.._

 _"_ _We just received information that we have authentication to operate the site. The area was deemed reliable and empty of any land minds. Just as you wished. It's the safest area in the village."_

 _"_ _You can start construction?"_

 _"_ _Under your authorization, yes mam"_

 _She felt herself shrieking madly, and finding the closest pair of arms to embrace with her sudden joy. She felt the bottom of her feet touch air and the comfort of Brad's presence sink into her core. "We did it!" he jumped with her._

 _The children's hospital had been in operation for almost a year, and she would never have gotten it completed if it weren't for him. she embraced him once more, squealed like a child, and returned to the phone. "Bryan, remind me that when I see you next, which will hopefully be soon as I can't wait to get out of this shit hole.. Oops did I say that out loud?" she teased, and Brad bursted into laughter._

 _"_ _When I see you Bryan I'm going to give you a big hug. And if you and your men start construction today, I might even kiss you."_

 _"_ _We're going to start right away then Mrs Florrick."_

 _She laughed, "Thank you."_

 _"_ _He called me this morning before I got on the plane." Brad said, "I had to come here and tell you. I hope you don't mind."_

 _She pulled him into her embrace. "We did it!" she exclaimed_

 _"_ _We did!... Oh my god I can't believe it… I've been trying for six months and I can't believe it.."_

 _"This is why we do what we do Alicia." He looked at her, in the way that Will used to look at her "These children are going to have the best facility because of you. I'm so proud."_

 _"I couldn't have done any of it without you."_

* * *

She remembered the sense of joy that overcame her when she received her call, more so when Brad was there to enjoy it with her, and even better when Will was there for her to tell directly. There was no one else in this world that she wanted to make more proud.

She remembered his strange behavior in Brad's presence, Will wasn't being himself, and Alciia highly doubted that it had anything to do with jealously. He probably shared similar concerns to Brad's position in her life, how would their false affair ruin Alicia's reputation? What did the world think of her now? General questions that she too considered for the past two days.

Will was there when Brad basically ran for the elevator, and he was there when she threw ice at him, and he was there to break her heart once more.

"You what?"

His words rung like repetitive syllables in her ear, like the music that plays in her nightmares.

"I asked Sam to marry me" he said gently. "And she said yes."

"When?"

"A few months ago.."

She sat down and ran her palms over the pad of her crisp jeans. Her posture stood straight, her hair pushed backwards, she refused to show weakness. "Well that's it then huh?" she looked up with eyes clouded in plastic joy. "Congratulations" she scratched out. "I guess you got what you always wanted."

"Alicia.."

"Don't" she shook her head. "Don't apologize, don't pick at the wound any more than you already have, I'm happy for you. Truly.."

"Why did you sit down?"

She sighed deeply, trying to find a place for her in such painful territory. "Because my feet hurt, because my ribs are still bruised from two weeks ago, because my blood still tenses when I hear loud noises. Because my lungs can't function if I'm indoors for too long. Because my mind is tired, because my head is sore from your bullshit. Because your child reminds me of a life we could've had. Because your senseless need to move on so intensely literally hurts my stomach. Because everything you seem to say pains me inside." She blinked her first tear and pushed it away before it could expose anymore weakness.

"That's why I sit down Will. That's why I can't stand to be in a room with you for more than five minutes. That's why I leave this place every hour. That's why I hate being in Chicago. Everything here reminds me of you. Everything. Sometimes I wish those bombs had taken me too, so I wouldn't have to live through the guilt of knowing I killed one hundred and forty people to save myself. I don't want your pity, or your words, I want you to stop messing with my head. You tell me you love me and then you go home to her, that's what you did last night right? And the night before? Right?"

"Stop it... stop it." He pushed himself off the chair and paced toward the wall and back again. "What do you want Alicia? Do you want me to leave her? Because I'll do it if that means you can come home to me. You don't have a right to put this on me when all I'm trying to do is make everyone happy."

"So this is your way of trying to find out what I want?"

"Yes" slowly, he bent down and took her hand. She glanced around, grateful that they were absent of any curious eyes. "Look at me" he demanded.

"I'm exhausted Alicia, you spin my head around until I can't stand anymore. I've been fine until you came back, you seem to think that I'm intentionally trying to hurt you. But I'm not, I'm just angry and mad over you."

"What does that mean Will?" she looked down at him with soft and fluid eyes.

"It means that if you want this, I'll wait. But if not.. I'll go ahead with my plan and we can part ways. For good this time though Alicia: no false charades. Samantha isn't a rebound for me, she's genuine for me, so if this thing between you and I has any chance of working, then I need you to tell me before I ruin her life."

"I don't want you to wait Will.. It'll be too long."

Tired of her tactics in avoiding the question, he sighed. "Just tell me what you want woman"

"I want us." It was the first time she had openly admitted it to anyone but herself, having him this close reminded her of that warm image she had painted in her mind. They had a real chance now, they had their own kids, they had similar lives as parents, they had a share in compassion for their girls, she knew this. They could fit perfectly with their binded souls still attached to that everlasting love. "I want to see you everyday, I want to visit you at work, I want you to come to africa with me, I want you to see where I work, who I work with and why I do it. I want Macey in my life, I want Zahara to know you. I want to be able to go for walks and hold your hand and make you carry me everywhere" she wondered what the moist taste of salt below her chin was, and when she wiped it away she realized it was the product of her tears. "I just want us back."

He pushed her hair behind her ears and smiled into the depths of her eyes. "You sure?"

She nodded confidently. "Are you not?"

He laughed, tucking a strand of hair behind her face. "I'll always know what I want. You know that more than anybody." He stood up

"Wait.." she reached out, forcing him to remain in his place tucked before her knees. "You'll be waiting a while Will… You know that right?"

"A few months?"

"No" she shook her head.

"No?"

"Eight months, maybe even a year. Half of that time I won't be seeing you. No, the majority of that time I won't be seeing you." She watched his response move down south and she touched his face with her palm.

"You have to understand that whatever I do.. I will never love him, but I can't allow anybody the pleasure in tarnishing his career. He means too much to me."

"Peter?"

"No"

"Brad?"

"Yes" at the rise of his tense chest, she gripped onto his shirt. "He's getting death threats because of a stupid kiss… I know what to do in order to fix it. But I need you to trust me okay? Please Will."

Her delicate beg reminded him so much of Macey's ways in pleading for her sweets. The comparison was on strange territory, as he hadn't been with Alicia like this in more than three years, and before, when he had nothing to compare of her demands, he thought it was plain frustrating, but now he found it beautiful. Even more so when she leaned into his ear and whispered 'I love you'.

"You too" he replied, trying with everything he had to avoid the thought of kidnapping her and taking their children away for a few months. He smiled mildly at the thought. "Okay. I'll wait, I trust you."

* * *

Will had left over an hour ago. She promised herself she would spend some time with Grace, but when she entered the room, the blinds were closed, and her daughter was asleep with Carter's arm as her pillow. She loved that he was there to catch her when Alicia wasn't there to do the same. She loved that her daughter had someone to take care of her.

Alicia sat outside the room, her face deep in her hands with her hair acting as a curtain to shield her thoughts. She didn't know who to contact, nor what to do, she just knew that she had a plan, and she needed it to work. For Will, she told herself.

"Is everything okay?" She heard the familiar voice approaching. She must have looked like a sad widow here outside the hospital room, with her back slouched forward and her face hidden from the outside world.

She looked up and saw Diane, concern ran deep in those blue eyes of hers, the older woman glanced between Grace's dark room and Alicia's hostile figure.

"Yes! Yes everything is fine.."

"Oh good.. I was beginning to think something had happened.." With every molecule of fine hair sprayed against Diane's shoulders, and the exclusive clothes that she wore to distinguish her power among everyone else, Alicia found it surprising to see that despite the lack of change in Diane's personality, she seemed to have adopted Will's care for her own kids; _Adult-kids,_ she reminded herself.

"No. Nope. Grace is…fine."

Diane sighed in relief as she sat down and crossed her legs, they both leaned against the wall, mutually exhausted for different reasons. "Cary is unwell."

"I know"

"No.. He's unwell. They think he could lose his leg.."

"But the surgery…"

"Was good. But not enough, there's something wrong with the vain. A blood clot."

"When did this happen?" Alicia asked.

"This morning."

"shit"

"Yeup" Diane smiled, she glanced back up at the ceiling.

"You made the right choice in leaving the law.." she whispered

"Which time are you talking about?"

"The second"

"Ahh, well. I didn't really have a choice."

"You could still be a lawyer, being first lady, you could still do it. You could come back too, I'm sure Will and Cary wouldn't mind the extra partner" she smirked.

"I know and I knew that back then. But it's not worth the fight. Not when I have a to-do-list that would drive anybody off a cliff."

Diane laughed lightly, and once the silence soon followed, Alicia put an end to playing with her wedding ring.

"Diane I need your help.."

She said it as if it were as simple as it seemed. Diane moved forward, this was foreign ground for her, for the both of them. The two woman hadn't been in contact for more than three years, and since then, Alicia didn't know what Diane thought of her, but Alicia valued the fact that they were able to share normal communication, without the added pressure of her status weighing them down.

"Legal?" Diane asked

"It's not _illegal_. Well, I hope it isn't."

"You know what I mean.." she smiled. "What is it Alicia?"

"I need a lawyer, a divorce attorney. Somebody I can trust, someone authentic, someone who knows me and Peter. You."


	25. The Divorce

A/N: this story reached 200 reviews, so thank you all :) I really appreciate the feedback given for this story xx

* * *

3 months later

Alicia made her way through the room of eyes as she forced herself toward the sofa. "You have ten minutes with her" Marissa was verbally attacking the interviewer. "You will not ask her any questions regarding her children, she doesn't like talking about her kids on air. Do not overstep your boundary regarding Mr Collier, and you'll only be permitted two minutes to talk of Mr Florrick. If you talk about any of his political downfalls then you will most likely be called. And no matter what, do not make her angry."

The interviewer was a young man, in his early thirties with the eyes of a scared child. Alicia pulled her assistant back and smiled. "Marissa, I think the camera man wanted to talk to you."

"I'm sorry about her" Alicia said when she sat down.

"Thank you Mrs Florrick for the opportunity, really, it's an honour."

"It's my pleasure. Let's get started shell we?"

* * *

"Macey, breakfast!" Will yelled from the bottom of the staircase.

He paced the living room, trying to find his briefcase and his coat. Ever since they parted ways with Samantha, the state of his house was frequently upside down, with a taste of being vertical. Aubrey was supposed to come around later in the day to baby sit Macey, but he wasn't sure whether the house was appropriate for anyone else. He and Macey were used to it, the mess that was their world, though he hoped it would change sometime soon.

"Yes, Daddy" Macey made a smart remark to her father's impatience. Already, she was a fifteen year old trapped inside a toddler's body. She stomped down the staircase, dragging her bag along the floor, she struggled to climb onto her chair, and when she took a look at the bowl of cereal that sat in front of her, she scrunched her nose in disgust.

"No pancakes?"

"I'm afraid not baby. Daddy doesn't have time today. Come on, eat up."

"Sammy used to make pancakes every day."

"Well, Sammy wasn't one to clean the mess afterwards." At his response, Macey looked up at him with sad eyes. He bent down to her height and took her face in his hands.

"I'm sorry my honey, I'll make it up to you tonight okay? I promise. Aunt Aubrey is gonna come over and you're gonna have heaps of fun."

"Promise?"

"I never break my promises right?" she smiled up at him as he kissed her head.

When he pulled away, he caught Macey's eyes dance along the tv, it took him a while to realise what she was looking at, or who she was listening to, but if the sound of Alicia's laughter didn't grasp onto his heart with excessive force, he was sure it did for Macey's.

"There's leesh daddy" it was amazing that his daughter could say her name, more or less remember her face.

"Yea, it is.." he moved toward the television and grasped onto its volume.

"Mrs Florrick, it's been a busy couple of months for you has it not?"

"That's an understatement, yes it has been."

"I know that separations can be difficult for any given marriage. But in your particular circumstance, how has this most affected you?"

"Well.. Like I said, it has been a long time coming. But I guess the most difficult part of this is trying to get through all the mess. The tabloids, as kind as they have been in the last four weeks, they seem to think that the separation was caused by Venessa Richards and.." she stumbled slightly on her words, and then her cheeks raged with a pink blush. Will wasn't blind, but he wished he was.

"and my own love.. To an extent, they contribute to our split, but the truth is.. Peter and I were just not in a happy place and now that we have some foundation, now that we have our own respective happiness, we're able to love each other in the way that is needed for our children, particularly for our little girl."

"Obviously you are referring to Brad Collier.. It's been a tough time for him as well, but ever since the two of you announced your relationship, his popularity has risen through the roof. Did you know that this would happen?"

"I think.. before we officially announced our relationship, he was on the list of being one of the most hated people in America, but I mean we both knew this would happen. We were aware of the consequences, and he isn't to blame for the separation. If anything, he's been nothing but my soul mate through all of this. He and Peter get along really well regardless, and that's all I want at the end of the day. I'm truly glad that people are beginning to accept Brad as the loving person that he is."

"Would you consider Brad Collier as your soul mate?"

"You know Kyle, a few months ago I probably would have snapped at you for that" she laughed, "But now, I feel at peace, in my home life, in my professional life."

Just then, Sara walked into the kitchen and Will was momentarily interrupted from the television screen; he was grateful for his sister's presence, especially now "I would be happy too" she remarked. "For a guy who buys his woman a twenty million dollar house in kenya; Brad Collier seems like the perfect gentlemen."

Will shook his head, the idea of Brad and Alicia disturbed him. Especially knowing that she made a pledge to him just a few months ago. The endless show that came with her life was starting to out shadow the myth that they would be together again.

"Sara, don't be so negative" he said

She laughed. "Says you." She watched him take in the interview with a profound layer of interest

"I no longer feel fixed to the rules and conventions that tie myself and my husband to the system," Alicia carried on. "We're just so happy now that we lead separate lives and I think that has a lot to do with Brad's encouragement."

"You didn't answer the question"

Again, she blushed and then her eyes danced in delicate softness. Will recognized that look, he owned that look. "Okay. Yes. I would consider him my soul mate. Absolutely, but that's all your getting on the topic."

Will switched the television off and stared at the blank screen for what seemed like hours, only when Macey tucked his pants, did he realise that his mind had been absent once again. She stretched her arms out for him and he picked her up and hugged her close. "What's wrong daddy?" she touched the base of his heart with her hand and he didn't think he could love her any more than in this moment.

"Nothing baby. Nothing."

* * *

"That was a good interview wasn't it?" Victoria said, making herself comfortable in Alicia's allocated dressing room.

"It was alright I guess." She shrugged.

"Wow, for a woman whose just gained Hollywood's' heart, you seem pretty depressed." She teased.

Alicia looked at herself in the mirror, the lines under her eyes suggested her exhaustion; the unhealthy pattern of fatigue in her collarbones reminded her of how little she had eaten; and the gloom in her eyes prompted the longing she felt for the only pair of arms that could make her feel warm again.

Having Victoria here with her was her preferred support, especially since Will hadn't been answering her calls in a week, which added to the stress that weighed heavy in her heart.

"I'm sure he's just having a break, he probably knows you're busy and he doesn't want to distract you." Owen had said. They hardly talked since their conversation in the hospital, and the only time they had truly relished in was the remaining hospital visits he had for Grace before Alicia left, plus the single handed afternoon she exercised her status as first lady and finally received quality time with Macey in Chicago's biggest aquarium.

She remembered that afternoon so intensely that it held a strong grasp to her heart. She insisted that she needed to meet Macey, formally, and that if they had any chance of a life together, they needed their children included in their scenes as much as possible. Will had managed to hold onto Zahara's hand for the majority of the night, but Macey was still on the edge curiosity, and she didn't understand the reasons behind Alicia's bodyguards.

As difficult as it was, Macey still managed to fall asleep on Alicia's lap, and she couldn't deny the tug of adoration she felt when Macey's hair curled perfectly into her fingers, or when Will noticed it.

"Alicia" Victoria was there to snap her back into reality, as she had been doing for the past week now. Her biological sister sat down in front of her and took her hand. "I'm worried about you." Though they had only known each other for a little less than a year now, Alicia didn't think there was any other woman outside the room who could understand her as deeply as Victoria did.

Alicia covered her hand and folded it underneath the coil of her slim fingers. "Where is Zahara?"

"with Brad"

"Where is he?"

"Waiting for you."

"You're coming with me right?" she said when she stood up and watched Victoria pack her stuff.

"Of course I am, I can't wait to get out of this place. I'm over the climate in LA."

When they merged into their hotel lobby, escaping the camera's that camped outside, it was surreal to see Brad standing there, with her baby in his arms. _Waiting for you._ He _was_ waiting for her wasn't he? In every sense of the word, he was waiting for her, which may have been beautiful in another lifetime, though, perhaps useless in this one.

"Hey" Brad smiled

"Hey" she grasped Zahara out of his arms and lifted her in the air, catching her with a kiss and a warm hug.

"Momma missed you"

She wiggled her way toward the ground and stood on both her strong feet. She could walk now, with little assistance than before. Brad taught her how to jump, run and eventually say his name, and the pure joy in his face when she accomplished all three was undeniable. He was a good father, to her child, and to his own.

"You sure you're ready to do this?" he asked

She took his hand, schooled by the fact that it seemed too big to fit her small one, and she nodded. "I guess this charade will be worth it in the end right?"

"I hope so." She picked Zahara up once more, and she protested by trying to fight off her grasp. "No Zahara"

"Listen to mommy baby" Brad whispered

Alicia made sure to keep her tucked securely in her arms when they walked out into the cold. Victoria was already in the car when they made it in, and the tight grip on Alicia's skin made her spine shiver. "Momma they scary"

"It's okay baby, I'm here" Brad stole Alicia's words. "They're gone now see" he pointed outside the tinted window toward the flash of cameras that slowly sloped away in the distance. Zahara moved out of her arms and folded into his instantly; Alicia failed at hiding her shock. Their relationship had developed in the last 3 months, it had significantly outgrown its purpose.

/

They arrived in DC in the later part of the evening, their flight had been delayed due to the weather, and so her meeting with Peter was already weighing on precious time. The library on the separate floor of the white house was as warm as California's temperature when she rushed in, "Sorry I'm so late." A very cross Peter sat apart from her two attorney's, and next to himself was seated his own.

"Two hours Alicia" Peter said

She stripped off her coat and sighed, "I can't help the weather conditions Peter."

She was surprised to see Diane there, and glad to see the firm's head of family law seated next to her. "Hey"

"How are you?" Diane asked

"I've had better days. When did you get in?"

"This morning, I have to fly back to Chicago later on tonight."

"Excellent, will you both be able to stay for dinner?" Diane's colleague began to shake his head, but Alicia refused to take no for an answer.

"Great, it shouldn't be long. I promise."

"Let's start then she'll we?" Peter's lawyer announced. "This meeting involves the general regards to Mr and Mrs Florrick's agreements for their pending divorce in September this year. Are there any inquiries before we get started?"

"Yes" Peter answered, "We need to discuss time arrangements for Zahara"

"We already did" Alicia said, folding her legs against her chest and closing into the comfort of her chair. Was it strange that since she had moved out of the house, it was now that it felt like home?

"We didn't cover the extent of it"

"Well, I don't know what else we have to talk about, I'm going to be in DC up until your term ends, so she'll always be here."

"Yes, but there's no doubt that you'll be traveling overseas, especially with the ratings within your campaign increasing in the last three months"

"We're not here to talk about my campaign"

"I have to weigh our options out Alicia, especially if I want to spend quality time with our child." She sighed heavily and closed her eyes. Diane placed a hand on her arm in support,

"Don't worry, will go over that shortly. But first my client would like to discuss her timetable around Mr Florrick's commitments" Diane addressed. She was second chair on the case, alongside her main lawyer who was estimated to charge twice the amount of Diane's hourly salary. Alicia couldn't care less about each ones rate, though she was surprised to see Diane take lead in her case.

"I don't mind participating within white house events, as long as they are relative to my job as first lady and not his next presidential campaign. I'm no longer his wife, therefore I shouldn't be forced into his fundraisers should I?" She heard Peter scoff, but she ignored it.

"No no… but.." his attorney stuttered. "I.."

"My client will be open to any commitments regarding her job as first lady up until Mr Florrick's first presidential term concludes in thirteen months. Though, your client must be willing to accept that Mrs Florrick has intense priorities as well and therefore, an agenda must be sent out to my client every month up until her divorce ensures." Diane said

Peter nodded in response and his attorney did the same. "Great, we will move on to finance."

"I thought we already discussed this Peter?"

"Mrs Florrick, please don't talk to my client from now on.."

"He's MY husband, I will talk to him whenever I want." Her temper rose.

"Alicia please stop making this complicated" Peter begged.

"Just carry on with it" Diane interrupted, there wasn't time to fight, Alicia understood it in the way Diane looked at her.

"Right then.. Mrs Florrick. You own a very large inheritance on your father's side am I correct?"

"I… why do I feel like I'm suddenly being interrogated?"

"Where is this going?" Diane asked.

"In David Cavanaugh's will, there was a large number of money split into four categories. One was given to Veronica loy, the Second was privately funded to Miss Parker's mother, the third was given to Owen Cavanaugh, the last, which happened to be the biggest of the inheritance was given to his daughter; your client."

Diane seemed partly stunned, as Alicia hadn't mentioned this before. Peter's attorney handed her several files, reading through, Diane paused and turned. "You never said anything?"

"I didn't think he would be that desperate to go there."

"I'm not" Peter pled

His attorney interjected, "The agreement in Mr Cavanaughs will was that his daughter would be able to touch the entirety of the allocated inheritance once both Zachary and Grace Florrick reach the age of twenty four. I believe that Miss Florrick's twenty forth birthday is in four months' time."

"How much is there?" Diane asked

"Unfortunately the documents we were sent are confidential, so we wouldn't know, though my client believes there to be a lot."

"Due to my rights, I shouldn't need to confess its figure should I?" Alicia patronised.

"What is the point here counsellor?" Diane asked

"Mr Florrick stresses that if your client were to marry Mr Collier, or marry anyone for that fact, she would adhere to a prenuptial agreement, for the rightful security of his children's welfare." Alicia laughed loudly, covering her face.

Peter shook his head at her amusement and closed his eyes.

"That's what this is about?" she laughed again, "Brad. This is about Brad. If you can't access my inheritance, then no other _man_ can am I right?"

"This is about Zach and Grace" Peter argued

"Oh whatever Peter.."

"Okay stop" Diane calmed her down. "I think we have established the foundation of this submission and I will consult with my client."

"Great, let's move on then."

/

"You have to agree toward a prenup Alicia, it's the only way to settle his conscience." Alicia watched closely as Diane pushed her plate aside and poured her tea.

Alicia ran a hand along her face and sighed. "This is just ridiculous. He's only doing this for personal reasons that don't concern Zach and Grace at all."

"That may be true, but as your lawyer, I would advise you to sign the contract."

"Brad and I don't plan on getting married.." And she certainly didn't want Brad getting the wrong idea, which could appear if he found out that she was signing a contract toward their false-future engagement.

"It doesn't matter. You owe it to yourself."

She sighed, sitting back, she glanced at the ceiling in exhaustion. Her day had been strenuous to say the least, she yearned to ask Diane about Will, knowing that it was inappropriate, she remained discrete and controlled herself.

Diane placed her napkin on the table and folded her arms. "Did you not get along with your father?" Alicia looked at her, stunned.

"Why do you think that?"

"You don't seem interested at all in the money."

"It's… complicated"

"I don't want to know the details.. But I do need to know some parts, as a member in your legal team, I need to know that your finances won't be at risk by your spouse or… future spouse.."

Alicia glanced down, she sighed and leaned back in her chair.

"My father's parents were bankers, and their parents were bankers. Being the person that he was, he inherited their fortune. When I was nine, he sold the remaining piece of land that our family owned and divided the money into sectors for each of his siblings. But when he died, and they found out that Owen and I received triple their amount, due to the use of my father's legal team, they were denied the chance to sue, but as a result, they disowned myself and my brother. That's why I haven't touched the money, it's caused a whole lot of mess in my family. So I wanted my kids to have first choice, or at least, I wanted them to know about it. That's all you need to know"

"I need to know the amount Alicia, Richard needs to take care of your finances and he needs a number."

"Richard?"

Diane laughed, "Your lawyer, Richard" she pointed outside to where the older man had been forced to play tea time with Zahara. The sight of himself in his expensive suit sitting on a chair half his size was hilarious. Alicia smiled, her little girl had a grip and charm with any soul living on earth.

"Where is David Lee?"

"He left the firm. Now stop avoiding the question."

She smiled, "Six point three million... belongs to me.." she swallowed painfully. She hadn't told anybody its number in a long time. "There's also a beach house on the coast of Connecticut that belongs to my brother and I, but I think Owen wants to sell it." The small pupils in Diane's eyes rose in surprise.

"Okayy.. Did you and Peter sign a prenup?"

"Yes, when I was twenty five and Peter proposed, my father was persistent that I get one" she laughed at the memory. "At the time, I had no idea why."

"Good.. good. Your father's a smart man. Peter isn't entitled to this money am I right?"

"Definitely not."

"Okay. That's my job done then." She reached for her notebook, keyed in some minutes and typed through her emails so that she wouldn't forget.

The sun was warm on such a strange autumn's day, it was beginning to set and its sparkling reflection began to mirror the stunning architecture in the room. Alicia waited patiently for Diane to finish and then jumped at her chance.

"When I asked you three months ago to be my lawyer, you said you would look into the firm instead, because you were resining soon, I was surprised to see you here this morning"

"Yes, well. I _wasn't_ going to come, but Will insisted that I be second chair. He was concerned that you wouldn't trust Richard enough."

"Will was concerned? I mean, Will is involved?"

She smiled. "You seem surprised."

"No.. I.. No.. Just that. Peter and him.. don't really get along."

"Wills ego is no longer the same as it once was. He wanted you to know that you could still trust the firm by forcing me into being here. I don't know why I get dragged into these thing but I do."

Alicia glanced down at the table cloth. She didn't know where her life was going. She had agreed to eight months, knowing that it would take longer than that to receive her life with Will. Sighing, she pushed her food aside and returned her gaze back outside. Somehow, Victoria had joined the tea cup party, and Alicia smiled gently at the plastic donut in her mouth.

"How is Brad?" Diane asked, innocently. They had met twice, one evening at the hospital, and the first morning Brad had been introduced as Alicia's official partner. Diane liked him, and Brad liked her, not surprising for they had similar interests, he was a proud Clinton supporter, she was a fan of Tolstoy, and when the time came for a spear debate, they were relentless together.

"He's…. worried." She answered truthfully. "For me"

"His career is flying, and his credibility has risen extensively"

"That was the plan" Alicia muttered under her breath.

"He's getting too close."

"Too close?"

To Zahara. And to herself. They were now viewed as a _couple_ , when her name was brought up in conversation, it was inherently linked to Brad Collier, she couldn't escape from his symbol, she was tied to him now; he was her ticket to freedom and her receipt to one more restriction. And if she had known that a few months earlier, she would have taken a different road.

Nevertheless, Diane was oblivious to the real reasons of Alicia and Brad being together, she naturally thought it was a binding of love, just as everyone else thought.

"To my kids" she answered. Zach liked him, and so did Grace, but perhaps Alicia was under the illusion of it being real, for they showed no sign of actually _wanting_ to engage with Brad, not in the way that they physically interacted with Will nowadays. Nevertheless, it wasn't them that she worried of, it was Zahara.

"Both Zach and Grace speak kindly of him, isn't that a good thing?"

It was ironic, she thought. Diane had a closer relationship to Zach and Grace now than Alicia had in the span of a few years. The older woman probably knew more of their adult lives than Alicia did.

"It doesn't matter, I'm just being a paranoid mom. How is Will?"

"Will? He... he's fine.." she stuttered at the change of territory.

"Yea?"

"Yes"

"And Macey?"

Diane smiled softly at her question, "Macey is.. great. She's beautiful."

"


	26. The Battle

The elevator to the thirtieth floor woke Diane out of her sleepy haze. Surviving off four hours of sleep and a cup of caffeine should have been her days a decade ago, though, she found herself living it once more for today.

She rubbed her temples as she made her way toward her office, she stubbed her toe against one of the boxes that sat outside her door. Half her office was packed into cardboard and she almost _almost_ forgot about her farewell party later that evening.

She counted the seconds for Will to rush in for his daily update, one, two, three, four, five..

"How was it?" the length between his office and hers was short enough for her to know that he had probably been waiting outside the edge of it all morning.

She turned around in time for him to catch her face, she sighed, and slumped onto her chair.

"You look like you're in the arcades of a hangover. What happened? Alicia didn't introduce you to the liquor cabinet did she?"

"Very funny.. I didn't land in Chicago till one a clock this morning. The weather in DC went from Hawaii to the North Pole in the course of a few hours and our flight was delayed _once_ again"

"It's a rough life isn't it?"

"Shut up."

"How was the meeting?" he tucked his hands in his pockets and walked toward the window, pretending to take in the view of Chicago's skyline.

"It was…. Interesting.."

"What does that mean?" he was failing at hiding his concern for the issue, she could see the significance of the subject reflecting in his troubled eyes, but he tried to push it off by playing his usual facade.

"Well, for starters, did you know that Alicia's father is rich?"

" _Was_ rich, he passed away twenty years ago. Why? Did something happen?"

"Peter's attorney brought her inheritance to attention.. I had no idea.."

"Peter's gonna try and go after the money. That son of a bitch.. I knew it."

"No Will, calm down, jesus, anyone would think that you're close with the Florrick's." his strong silence raised questions, 'close' probably wasn't an authentic choice of phrase, but 'affair' wasn't either, she thought.

"Anyway.. Peter's not after money. He just wants to make sure that she sticks to the agreements within the will."

"Which are?"

"Once Grace reaches the age of twenty four, Alicia is entitled to touch the entire inheritance with the promise that both kids get their share. In case Alicia gets married anytime in the future, Peter wants her to agree toward a prenup, a contract agreement within the settlements of their divorce, so that his children aren't liquidated of their own money. Which bearing in mind, I wouldn't mind if she agreed to it, as her lawyer, it is important that she sees the consequences of marrying somebody who could potential bankrupt her.."

"We're talking as if she's already decided upon marriage."

"Peter seems pretty determined that she and Brad are determined to have a family."

"Peter doesn't know shit"

She stood up and rushed to close the door, she sighed slowly rubbed her temples once more. "What is this about Will? You can't just say things like that, not in this environment. What is it about this case that interests you so much?"

"Because this isn't just any divorce case. Our firm is already under enough scrutiny as it is."

"You know what. From now on, if you need consult, go to Richard. I can't talk to you about this."

"Why not?"

"It's unprofessional"

"I'm a partner!"

"You're Will" she folded her arms. "To her, you're just Will. It's wrong. It's like me asking for details on Kurt's second marriage, that's if he were ever to remarry, bearing in mind that I wouldn't let him live to see the day.. I'm sorry," she shook her head. "To put it mildly. You can't know all the details. Not with your history"

"My history?"

"Will. I'm ending this discussion. Please don't put me in this position" she begged

He looked at her with disdain and then blinked it away, leaning against the wall, he swiped his hand against his face and folded his arms.

"Signing a prenup should be her decision" he said. "Not his. It's her money, she's been through a lot regarding her father in the last year. And if she agrees to Peter's request, then he'll assume he still has control. She's trying to get out of the white house, not back into it. Tell her to compromise."

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"Alicia's not an idiot. She's probably invested the money into an account that can't be accessed. Tell her to compromise."

"Okay. I'll let Richard know."

"Good."

He stood still in his same position and stared at his phone. "She asked about you. Alicia"

"How is she?"

"Fine…. I guess.. She was tired, exhausted. And she didn't look good. Health wise. But I think it's just the job."

"Yea. Probably"

"She asked about Mace too.. I was a bit surprised actually"

"Yea.. We are.. we sort of spent some time together before she left. She booked out the aquarium for the day and I took Macey, she brought Zahara. Grace and Carter tagged along as well. It was a good day. One of the best actually."

Diane smiled, happy for him, happy for the both of them. They had found a land of solid foundation in their puzzling relationship, Diane only hoped that this was a chance for Will to finally move on now that Alicia had her own happiness.

The sound of Cary's clutches charged against the floor, he made his way in her office, using one finger to turn the doorknob. "Hey" he smiled.

His leg was slowly recovering from the shooting three months ago. He was still in physical therapy and had only recently revisited the courtroom again. Will didn't like seeing him in this state, not when he was still in the stages of recovery, it made him feel guilty. Cary didn't deserve to be in so much pain, not when he had finally grown out of his immature ages.

"How was it?" he asked.

"Good. There was a little drama, but nothing significant."

"Alicia's comfortable with Richard?"

"I think so."

"Good" he nodded.

"Oh, and she asked me to give these to you" Diane handed him a box of chocolates and a small card. Cary laughed and slowly shook his head.

"I can't believe she got them for me. They're from Europe. The best in the world, apparently."

"How nice" Will mocked, he walked out of the office, and toward his own

"What's wrong?" Cary asked

Diane watched him with concern, he slammed his office door and sat down, running his hands through his hair. "Nothing. He's just in a bad mood, that's all."

"He's been in that mood for a few weeks now"

"Maybe you should talk to him. Man to man." She joked

"Do you think it's about Samantha?"

"Possibly. She did leave him pretty abruptly."

* * *

Alicia woke early and packed Zahara's belongings. She was glad Diane had come, she needed her company, a sense of home, she needed home, and she needed to know what her kids were doing and how Will was. She had a loyalty to him that would never cease her attention, not even with his mixed signals and lack of communication.

"I didn't know you were still here" Peter's voice was soft and forgiving, in comparison to the day before where one would have assumed that they hated one each other.

"I decided to stay. I thought Zahara would like to see you when she wakes up, and quite frankly, I need a break from hotels."

"I'm surprised you and Brad haven't brought a place in DC yet"

"Well, I've been looking into apartments, but I don't know if buying is ideal, rent is expensive, and I don't want anything tying me to DC in the next twelve months"

"I was joking Alicia" he interrupted. "I didn't think you were actually thinking about it. You know that you're welcome to live here"

"Under the same roof as your girlfriend and with Brad? No thank you: I'd rather camp out at my hotel"

"The thought of you living in a hotel for the next year literally sickens me, Alicia. Find you and Zahara a place now or else I will do it for you."

"Peter, please just stop. Your pursuit for more power doesn't influence me at all, in fact, it makes my intense migraine grow even more painful" she sat down on the edge of the bed pressed her hand against the ache in her skull. She sighed, she didn't want to snap at him, he didn't deserve it.

"You okay?"

"No! NO! I'm not! I'm tired and angry and impatient and for some reason I'm mad at you, yesterday wasn't supposed to happen. Our fight, it was unnecessary and damaged and to top it off, my lawyer thinks that I'm a spoilt bitch and Diane thinks I've gone mad. Zahara is in love with Brad, and I think I actually hate him for trying to repair my reputation; this whole façade is doing more damage to me than I ever thought impossible. I can't play fake anymore."

"Alicia you don't have to pretend anymore"

"Pretend for what?"

"I'm okay with you and Brad. At first it was odd, knowing that it was a disguise for the divorce, but I've come to accept that he makes you happy. It's okay, you're free now, be with Brad, marry him, travel with him. I don't want you to act as though it's all pretence to get through this divorce."

She loved him, Peter, despite their issues, but she couldn't help but grow angry at his need to think that everything was about him. "Peter it's not real" she stood up. "I'm not with Brad. Not in any mode or possibility. I don't love him.. I.. Are we.. are we that convincing?"

"Your interview yesterday…" he stuttered. "and your photos online.. I thought.."

"No.." she grabbed her bag. "No. This is what you and Eli suggested. Don't act as if my relationship with him was my own idea."

"But I thought.."

"I have to go. Zahara should wake up soon. Her breakfast is in the fridge. The sitter will be here in an hour or so. Don't wait up."

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Okay. Bye."

Steve drove her to the closest beach, they arrived a little less than a couple of hours and were greeted with Brad and his photographer. They needed a few more photos to prove to the world that they were who they were. The last ones of them holding hands with children in Cambodia had given the campaign a fair amount of attention, and boosted her reputation as the Presidents ex scandalous wife with a positive light.

She slipped out of the SVU and stood on warm sand. Her gaze set on Brad, he wore a pair of sandals with beach shorts and a half buttoned dress shirt, exposing his nice chiselled chest. "Hello" he smiled,

"HI" she smoothed out her dress.

"You're gonna have to put something on a bit more comfortable for the beach. We don't want to look as though we just came from a conference." He teased

She rolled her eyes and took the bag of swim gear that he handed her. "I'll get dressed in the car."

She came out wearing a white bikini with small grey shorts and a light cardigan. She threw on a sun hat and slipped into a pair of flats. "Okay. Alicia, I want you and Brad to walk along the beach with big happy smiles. Hold hands and cuddle, like a real couple would." Their photographer said. "I'm sure it will be a piece of cake for the both of you. Now go on. Quickly. This is private property so there aren't much people around but I need the sun to stay in place. You both need nice lighting."

They rushed toward the shore until she could no longer hear the shutter of his camera. She took Brads hand once they slowed down, and rested her head against his shoulder. Breathing in the air, she allowed her lungs to drink in the fresh aroma on the edge of the mainland.

"This has to be my favorite photoshoot so far. I haven't been this alone in… well.. in three years" she looked back and relished in the sight of her security being so far away.

"It's good isn't it?" he commented.

"Let's just keep walking" she said. "Let's just go, and leave them."

"Steve would murder me"

She remained quiet and shook her head. Obviously he wouldn't understand her nostalgia, her spent bereavement over the longing for her own freedom. She grasped onto his hand anyway, hoping he could understand through her skin.

"We should turn back, so he can get photos of us from the front." Brad encouraged

She followed his instructions and allowed herself to indulge in the cold sensation of the sea against her feet.

"Do you feel good?"

"Yea. It's nice. I feel replenished."

"You could have this everyday Alicia" he looked down at her. " _Every day_ for the rest of your life. If you just allowed yourself a chance to be happy."

"With you?"

"Yes. With me."

She let go of his hand and continued walking beside his warm body heat. "Brad. Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could love you in the way that you want. You've been everything to me in the last few months, but I can't look at you in the eye and tell you that I think we could be together forever. It wouldn't be true and it wouldn't be fair. I need normal, I need stability. I've been living in a bubble for the last four years. I want my life back. Do you understand me?"

He nodded slowly, and smiled gently in her direction. He lifted his arm as an invitation and she slipped under his warm shoulder. They looked toward the photographer just in time to catch him nodding in their direction.

"I think that's his cue for us to return."

"Can we stay a little longer?" she asked

Brad made a signal toward their group whilst she found herself a spot on the sand. He sat next to her and together they watched the waters descend back and forth between the land and the ocean. She took her hat off, closed her eyes and smiled as the wind soared behind her ears and through her hair. Another gust of wind forced sand into her thick curls and she laughed.

She took Brad's hand for support and told him a story. "When I was twenty, before I met Peter. A few friends and I went for a holiday, Will's parents had a beach house and we stayed there for a couple of weeks. We hated each other, he and I, we never really got along in our first two years of law school, but my friend lily forced me onto this trip and then.. suddenly.. we just grew close."

"Why didn't you like him?"

"Immature" she guessed. "I was raised to be responsible and he.. he was reckless and forgetful. But that summer, everything changed for me. He taught me that I could have a life and a career. He taught me how to be happy."

"Did you ever thank him?"

"I kissed him. I think that was good enough."

She felt Brad chuckle and squeezed his hand. "I really appreciate everything you've done for me."

"I don't wanna hold you back Alicia"

"Is that what you think you're doing?"

"I've witnessed it. In your eyes. The last three months, you've been happy but just not _enough._ I've tried so hard to access your mind but I can't and I feel as though Will probably can. I can't compete with that. You wanna be somewhere else and I can see it."

"I'm sorry"

He touched her cheek and smiled gently. "Don't apologize. Don't ever apologize for being yourself. You have a beautiful soul Alicia, I just wish you believed it."

She smiled in response. He stood up and stretched a hand out to her. They parted from the beach and slowly made their way toward the crew. "I rented that house up there for the day" he pointed to the small two story villa up the bank.

"It's beautiful" she commented

"We're all gonna stay for some food and beverages. You're welcome to come if you want."

"I'd love to."

She watched him stop and dig into his pocket for his wallet. He pulled out a card and handed it to her. "This is the number to my private jet. I want you to take it for the week, my pilot is lovely and the plane is perfect for Zahara. I'm going to California for work and I want you to take some time off.."

"Brad I cant.."

"Yes. You can. You've been working nonstop for the last twelve weeks. Call him, and go somewhere. Hide out. I don't care where, or what you do. I'm just sick of seeing you so unhappy. You deserve better."

He pushed a strand of hair behind her hair and began to walk away. She tugged onto his arm and wrapped around his shoulders. "I can't thank you enough for being so understanding."

He moved back "You know how I feel about you."

"Yes.. I think so."

"And I cant.. I can't keep doing this if you don't feel the same way about me"

"What about Zahara? and the press?" she asked

"Will sort something out. Even if its just for a few more months, just until it all calms down. I want you to be happy again."

* * *

The sound of Macey's loud singing in the bath caused a smile to fall upon Will's lips. He drained the pasta and switched the element off. Pulling the fridge open, he grabbed a fresh bottle of bear whilst sprinkling some pepper on the chicken. Alicia had taught him how to cook a few years ago, back when they were together.

"Will, your girlfriend is making headlines once again" Sara remarked.

He wiped his hands with the towel and watched as she set her ipad on the counter. "She's not my girlfriend Sara"

"But you do have a major crush on her." She teased as she made her way upstairs.

He grabbed the device and scrolled through TMZ's recent freight. Alicia looked beautiful on the beach, with her hair down and her long legs and her lean stomach, free for the world to see. He hadn't seen her in a bikini in years, and she still managed to take his breath away. Vanilla was his preferred colour on her, it made her stand out, not in the way that red did, but in the way that made less men stare.

He closed his eyes when he saw the photo with her wrapped under Brad's arm. He thought it would get easier, the façade, and the game and the interviews and the pictures and the endless talk and countless stories of their fake love story. He shook his head in frustration once more and made his way for the patio. The unusual warm night allowed him to leave the doors open just in time to catch the stars linger in the distance.

He heard his phone buzz in the back of his mind and tried to ignore it, holding onto the thoughts in his head until the phone continued to explode, and he picked it off the table.

 _'_ _Alicia's Private..'_

The caller id had grown to be as familiar as the night itself in the last few months. He wasn't sure whether answering right now was for the best, then again, he hadn't answered any of her calls in the last ten days.

* * *

She slipped into age appropriate clothes this time, finding a pair of old jeans and one of her hooded jumpers, she made her way for the balcony and closed the doors, basking in the still tranquility of her surprisingly wonderful evening. She missed her daughter and she longed for those perfect small arms to wrap around her, she longed for bedtime story and night time kisses, but Peter had his day with her and so she housed in her first experience of being a separated parent.

She took a sip of wine and leaned against the rail. The sun had set, and she could see the lights of other houses twinkling in the distance. The waves were whispering as they came in, and she thought about Will. about the life they could have with this kind of view to admire each day.

She dialed his number and waited for his voicemail. She had a long speech prepared, an apology followed by a lecture followed by another apology.

"Hello" she almost jumped out of her flats when she heard his voice.

"Will?"

"Hey" his deep soft tone made her spine tremble.

"You answered"

"I've been avoiding you" he admitted.

"That much is obvious"

"Will you forgive me?"

She pulled the phone away from her mouth and chuckled to herself. She didn't think it would be this easy, getting him to own up to his irresponsibility's had never been a comfortable task.

"Can you do me a favour?" she asked

"I hope so"

"Tell Macey to choose a place on the atlas. Any place. And I will take you both there with me. I promised her a ride on a plane.."

"But.."

"Put her on the phone now. And while you're at it, get a map, place it on the floor, and tell her to choose whichever one she wants. I'm abducting you both and I don't care for your excuses. Now do it."


	27. The Nightmare

This chapter was a bit rushed but I hope it's good enough to fit on pages. Thank you all for the continuous feedback and keen support :)

* * *

 _Alicia's maternal instincts were as solid as the ground when she woke to her daughters crying. Once realizing that the crying was merely a nightmare, she sat up, not knowing what gave her the power to do so, and without even realizing it, her feet were on the ground. Peter slept next to her, a horror in itself, she thought, as she stood above him._

 _She didn't know where she was, the walls and the carpet felt so cold and foreign._

 _The white house certainly wasn't her home, but the interior color was always inviting, and the underground heating was kind on wintery nights, though this wasn't the white house, nor was it any of their previous homes._

 _"_ _Peter?" she shook his shoulder. "Where are we?" his eyes stayed close and so did his pulse, she realized after a few short moments that he wasn't breathing._

 _"_ _Alicia" a voice called her name from the doorway._

 _"_ _Judy?"_

 _"_ _What are you doing here? Where's my baby?" Judy was the nurse who had first introduced Alicia to Zahara._

 _"_ _Sshh.. You have to be quiet, follow me.."_

 _She trailed down the unfamiliar hallway, the hairs on her arm grew taller and taller as she continued through the cold and narrow corridor. Judy was in a night gown, and so was Alicia, but the fabric was thin cotton, the kind of material that she would only wear in Africa on a summer's night._

 _"_ _Judy.. Where's Zahara?"_

 _She paused for the only room that had any light, and pointed in its direction. "She's right there."_

 _Alicia walked inside and heard the door close behind her. She smiled widely at her child, her precious baby._

 _"_ _Who are you?" she questioned the man who held Zahara._

 _"_ _I'm a social worker" he shook her hand confidently, tightening his hold on her daughter._

 _"_ _Give her to me" she demanded, her heart viciously attacking her chest._

 _"_ _I'm taking your child away from you Alicia. You're no longer fit to be her mother. I will collect her belongings soon and seize you to sign some additional paper work. The adoption was clearly a mistake, It's time for you to leave."_

Fresh air gulped violently into her lungs, her eyes fired awake and her body raced with shock. She placed a hand on her chest as she tried to regain breathing and glanced to the side. The coldness of the bedside reminded her that she and Peter no longer shared the same bed, neither did she and Brad, and Will was a state away having his arms to sink into.

The dream felt so real, she could almost smell it. She looked around and remembered where she was, after they had finished drinks, Brad took them down to the beach to watch the fireworks, and she had opted for a nap instead. She leapt from the bed, grabbed her belongings and ran toward the door.

"What's up?" Brad met her at the foot of the stairs, with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

"I have to go, Steve, take me back to Zahara please?"

He nodded and helped her with her bags. "What.. Alicia, what's wrong? Did something happen?" Brad asked.

"I just need to go home. I.. I'll see you later okay?" she raised her toes just to kiss his cheek and moved out of the way. Peter wouldn't be too happy with her invasion on his only day with Zahara, but Alicia didn't care, she needed to hold her baby.

* * *

"Diane, I'm sorry" he apologized for the fourth time on the phone.

"But what about the Knox lawsuit?"

"I asked Carter to take over for me"

"How long are you gonna be away?"

"I don't know" he threw a pair of chucks into his suitcase and grabbed some socks. "It won't be more than a week, I hope."

"You hope? Will, what's going on? This isn't like you. I'm supposed to be leaving the firm today. You know that right?"

"Can you just hold down the fort for a couple more days until Cary returns? Please, I'll buy you a gift or something."

"Where are you going again?"

He sighed heavily. "Montana"

"Montana?" Yes. Out of all the places that Macey could have picked, she chose one that was still close to home. He was hoping for an island, or a boat where they could live forever, knowing very well that Alicia wouldn't even tolerate such an idea.

"It was Macey. It's her fault. You can blame her"

"I'm not blaming my goddaughter on anything. Tell me what's going on now. It's not like you to pack up and go on holiday. Are you in trouble? Is she sick?"

Will lost track of all her questions and sat down, looking outside, he took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for war. "Alicia" her name slipped out of his mouth before he could control it. He heard her long silence and her extended sense of disapproval.

"Diane.. I.." what was he supposed to say? He had no excuses, he had lied to her for months, knowing that she wouldn't approve, not with his responsibilities and Alicia's last name, but he hoped that she understood his reasons.

"Don't do anything stupid, please." She sounded sincere and not as surprised as he thought she would be.

"I won't." He promised.

"Good."

* * *

"Dress.. or no dress?"

"Dress" Owen answered

She opened her closet and sighed at the number of clothes she had. "Which one?"

"Go for the violet one"

"Violet?"

"Yea. Red is too predictable, and purple is Zahara's favourite colour. She'd like it on you."

Alicia rolled her eyes and chuckled quietly, she folded the rest of her clothing in neat piles and then searched for her books. "I hid them away" Owen said.

"My books? Where?"

"You're not going there to work Alicia. Take a break"

"Owen please.. don't do this to me. Where are my books?"

"Can you not work when your holiday finishes?"

"I will go insane without working. I have a lot of responsibility."

"I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to unwind… with Will" he smiled slyly as he flipped through magazines.

"Owen" her thick voice grew more agitated.

"Fine! They're under Zahara's bed" he shook his head

"Thank you!" she yelled from down the hallway.

He stood up from the bed and followed her down toward the room. "Are you at least going to relax, is there a spa pool where you're going?"

He entered the room and realised that they had extra company with Zahara still asleep. Peter had put her to bed late last night due to Alicia's untimely interruption. "Ssshh" Alicia demanded. "Don't wake her up." Her slim body fit easily on the ground as she crawled to grab her precious books.

She stood back up and caught sight of her child's sleepy face. Placing the books on the rocker, she returned to the bed and sat on the edge of it, leaning forward gently to touch Zahara's face.

"It's really important that she gets along with Will and Mace"

"Of course she will.." Owen said

"As horrible as it sounds, the only thing standing between Will and I now, are our kids. That's why I wanted this holiday. That's why I called Will" she moved her hands in her lap and closed her eyes. "The more I see Zahara and Brad grow closer, the more I'm reminded that she might never have that with Will. Zahara called Brad dadda the other day, did you know that?"

"No… I didn't.."

"It was an accident. I'm sure of it. She had mistaken him for Peter, with his reading glasses and hair and.. god, I can't have it. I can't have my child force me to choose someone who I'm not in love with. Not again."

"Hey.. hey, come on" he sat next to her. "She's just a baby Leesh. This is different, you and Peter are getting divorced and no other opinion matters. Of course she's gonna bond with him, but it doesn't mean you have to stay."

"I'm just confusing her" she wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "What kind of mother does this? First Peter, and Brad, and now Will? There's too many of them for her to count."

"You're just finding reasons for you and Will to fail. You always do this. It's okay, don't stress over it Alicia. It'll all work out" he rubbed her shoulders and smiled softly.

"I wanna make it work"

"I know. Will and his daughter took a whole week out of their lifetime to spend with you. The least you could do is pack the rest of your gear and take a nap." He smiled in her direction. She loved him, her brother, he was her left arm and her right, but it was still difficult to tolerate him completely.

"I couldn't sleep at all last night. When I was with Brad, I took a nap, and I had this horrible nightmare. I woke up late, it was dark and they were still at the beach, but I couldn't wait. I just rushed out and came straight here. I hugged her all night, and tried to figure out what I was doing wrong."

"Did you find out?"

"The dream happened after I called Will, so either fate is playing some sick game with my choice to finally choose him, or it's a sign that I'm about to lose my child."

Owen laughed and shook his head. "Leesh, that's never gonna happen, you know it. There's not a chance in hell you could lose her. What was the dream?"

"I don't wanna talk about it. Not with anyone."

"I'm your brother" he brewed

"I just don't wanna talk about it Owen" she looked up at him with eyes that made him understand. He nodded and patted her knee.

"I'm gonna cook up some breakfast. You haven't eaten in more than twelve hours. It's not good when you want to build your metabolism."

She waved him off with a teasing smile. "Yes doctor."

When he left, she glanced back down at Zahara. Green eyes illuminated her soul when she found them staring right back at her. Moving forward, she pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. "Morning baby"

"Momma" she touched her cheek with warm innocent hands and smiled up at her. A simple gesture could bring a tribe to their knees, Alicia was sure of it as she allowed her first dose of tears to slip down her face.

Zahara stroked her tears away from her face, trying to soothe her mother with panicked little eyes. She whispered "its gonna be okay momma" as if she knew what troubled her. Alicia never thought to see the mother-daughter bond reversed between herself and her toddler, the way it had always been with her children, the way Alicia bent backwards to make sure that they would never feel pain. The small tear that had escaped from Zahara's eye was removed with a single kiss, Alicia ran a hand through silky hair and smiled gently. "It's okay baby. Momma just had a bad dream. You know what a bad dream is?"

Zahara was slightly unfamiliar, but she nodded and sat up to offer her arms as a proposal to ease the pain. Alicia took her into her chest and kissed her countless times. Nobody was going to take her Zahara away, she'd sacrifice everything before she would let it happen.

* * *

Macey snuggled into his shoulder as they made their way through the terminal. He followed the directions that Alicia had sent to him, and he met a young woman at a private desk several corridors away from the main station. He found it a hassle in getting to her plane, he knew she was here from her last text message, though the process to finally have her in his arms was taking longer than he thought.

"Tickets?" the young woman said, he handed them over to her.

"Gate s59. That's Florrick?" He wanted to correct her by saying Alicia's maiden name, but nodded instead.

"Passport? I need both your ID" she looked at Macey.

He did as he was asked and glanced outside the window. He wondered where their week would take them, if they would talk, if this was a chance they could repair their past or simply a getaway trip for herself.

"Sir?"

"Yes?"

"I was just saying that there should be a car waiting outside to take you to your flight."

"Oh, right. Thank you." If he had been paying her any attention, he might have noticed the way she eyed him flirtatiously, but he grabbed his belongings, nodded one last time and made his way toward the door.

"We gonna see Leesh and Zahara soon daddy?" Macey asked

He kissed her forehead. "Soon baby,"

He stepped outside and made his way down the steps. A smile spread across his face as he met their driver. "Putting on a brave face for your boss is it?" he teased

Steve chuckled. "Get in the car Gardner."

"Has my luggage been sorted?"

"They're on board with Mrs Florrick"

"How is she?" he buckled Macey into the back and jumped in the passenger's seat.

"Strained" he answered. "She's been off all day. Particularly emotional. Mr Cavanaugh was worried about her when he saw them off in DC."

"What's wrong with her?"

"You'd have to ask her"

"Is it Peter?"

"I'm not qualified to answer that question Mr Gardner"

"God, can you at least call me Will? Mr Gardner makes me feel as though I'm still at work"

"Will" he said with emphasis, and then he smiled. "We're here" he pulled next to a massive white jet, it held a brisk smell of having just flown through cold clouds.

Macey's big eyes measured its size and grinned as if it was a Christmas tree. "Leesh should be in there sweetheart." She wiggled her way out of her seat, moved out of the car and raced up the steps, her hands clutching the rail. "Mace be careful" he warned. She waved at him from the top and then entered into the plane.

He smiled as he grabbed his briefcase and his coat, Will took one more look at Chicago and climbed inside. He examined the jet carefully, white leather seats with lush cargo and warm ease, everything he expected from Brad Collier's freight. Next was his search for Alicia, only to notice that Macey and Zahara were the only individuals there. He chuckled as he watched Macey embrace her friend. Zahara with her kind soul gestured to her seat where they squashed in with one another and took solace in Zahara's toys.

He dropped his belongings and made his way over to his girls. He bent down on one knee and smiled as Zahara stretched her arms out for him. His heart stretched warmly when she wrapped her small arms around his neck. She remembered him easily, and it took to his soul.

"Hey princess" he kissed her hair and moved back to admire her face. Her eyes reminded him so much of Alicia's, and he knew that her kindness also reflected in her mother's, regardless of their biological difference. "Where's momma?"

Zahara pointed to the mid-section of the jet, where the small kitchen convened between the pilot's apartment and the bathroom. "You girls stay here okay" he touched their heads and walked slowly. He found her pouring two glasses of whiskey after she seized some pop-corn. He paused to watch her for a moment, her beauty causing his heart to pound. He longed to see her hair cascading down her back and remembered only too well the feel of it. Her waist begged his touch and those lips.. He smiled, reminding himself that he had a whole weak to admire her from only a short distance.

Both their outfits matched, she wore a pair of tight fitted levis and a white silky blouse, he wore old jeans and a white jumper. Together they tailored perfectly, a flawless match. He stopped just several feet away and watched as she turned to take him in, she smiled with tired lashes. Love adorned those perfect green irises of hers but he saw everything else as well. Her arms eased open and once he had her in his embrace, she clung to him as if her life depended on it.

Minutes passed and he continued to hold onto her, her hands gripped onto his back, her nose was overwhelmed with his scent and she continued to say nothing.

"What's wrong.. tell me" he said softly, knowing her too well.

She pulled an inch apart and shook her head. "I'm so glad you're here" she let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. "I missed you"

He nodded, and settled his chin on her shoulder. "I'm here now."


	28. The Vacation

He watched her with the two of them, she was a natural beauty with children, born to be a mother, he knew this by the way she fitted so easily with them. He was in awe at how she managed to hold her attention to both her child and his while juggling her own exhaustion. Will remained patient with her, laughing at her games with Macey. They had only been in the air for forty five minutes and had another two hours before they would land. He hoped she would talk, but when Zahara had finally grown tired from all the fun, she excused herself for the kitchen and came back with a treat for Macey and a bottle for Zahara.

"I can feed her if you want?" he asked

She smiled at him and touched the side of his face with gentle fingers, her way of showing him how much she appreciated him. "I'm okay. It only takes me five minutes to put her down."

She was about to kiss him, but then he caught her glance in Macey's direction, and she ran a hand through his hair instead. "I'll be back soon."

Seeing that Macey was occupied with a movie, he left her alone to seize coffee for Alicia, when he came back, Alicia was walking back and forth and singing a quiet lullaby in her daughters ear, kissing her head every so often and repeating the same lyrics. In the short time he had spent with her and Zahara, he had never seen her so fixed to her child. He understood the bond, and certainly the love, but his instincts told him that something was wrong.

When Alicia placed Zahara on the small bed, he saw the war in her eyes as she forced herself to let go. He was a second away from getting up and wrapping his arms around her, he was a few seconds short of forcing her to talk to him but she seemed to avoiding the concept. Instead of sitting in her seat next to him, like he hoped she would, she sat opposite Will and dropped herself next to Macey. She set her feet on his foot rest and looked at his daughter. "It's a princess Leesh" Macey pointed at the screen

Alicia smiled at her, her eyes dancing in excitement. "I know. I got the movie out especially for you. Do you like it?"

She nodded happily and pushed her head against the seat, she looked at her father, feeling empowered for a 3 year old. His heart tightened with warmth when Alicia touched Macey's hair and said softly. "We're gonna have heaps of fun this week. I promise"

"Really?" she asked.

"Hmm. We can go skiing, walking, playing. Anything you want."

"Can we get ice cream too pleazee leesh?"

"We can get anything you want honey. As long as it's organic"

Will rolled his eyes and she chuckled.

"Zahara has to eat special ice cream doesn't she?" Macey pointed out,

Alicia was moved at her fond memory. "Yes. She does. She's still lactose, she probably will be for a while"

"Maybe we can get that ice cream instead. So we can all eat it wit her."

Alicia didn't think she could fall for his child more than she already had, but she was falling, so hard that her head was probably fractured in love. She smiled once more, the first hour of their week already proving their time to be a treasured one, she leaned forward and kissed Macey's head. "That's really kind of you. Are you sure you want to go dairy free for a whole week?"

Macey nodded confidently.

"I'll tell you what. We can get both Zahara's ice cream, and the normal one, and if you don't like Zahara's one, you promise me you'll tell me okay?"

"But what a bout Zahara?" she asked

"I will find a way to make it more better for her. That way you won't have to feel guilty, and I can be happy knowing that you're happy too."

"Why is Zahara sick?" she posed the question with small worried eyes, curious in her own toddler thoughts.

"Well.. Um, when Zahara was born, she was very sick, kind of like you. But it was her stomach that hurt the most. She didn't have a mommy or daddy, so that hurt her even more.."

"But then you decided to be her mommy and daddy?"

Alicia looked at Will, hoping he had an easier understanding. He smiled at her, and moved forward. "Kind of like that Princess. But it's really complicated. You'll understand once you get a bit bigger."

"Macey" Alicia stroked her cheek gaining her attention. "You do know that Zahara has a daddy right?"

"Well.." her eyes moved around in confusion. "Where is he?" she shrugged her small shoulders.

"He's at work, but I have no doubt that you'll meet him one day"

"I could share my daddy wit her" she offered.

As stunned as he was, Will couldn't help but laugh at her seriousness. Alicia smiled, heat growing in her cheeks as she tried to understand how such a child could be so generous and completely innocent.

Her nature was wrapped with so much kindness, it made it difficult for Alicia not to love her. She felt a deep urge to protect Macey's nature from the world. Alicia thought of the little girl who had lost her leg in a landmine near Somalia, she was in similar age with Mace. The idea of somebody bruising her brown haired fluffy little girl raised years of fierce defence training. She smiled to herself, silently wondering how her mind was able to travel down such a road. She stretched her arms out and pulled Macey into her chest.

"Come here you" Macey cuddled into her neck and pulled apart seconds later.

"Can I go sleep now?" she asked.

Alicia chuckled under her breath, thankful for her naiveté. "Of course. Do you want me to give you more cuddles?"

"With hot drink too?" Macey asked as she climbed onto her lap. Alicia arched an eyebrow at Will, he lifted himself up with an amused smirk and made his way for the kitchen. "One small cup Mace. That's it." He made himself clear, glancing back just in time to catch sight of her little head falling on Alicia's shoulder. Alicia brushed her back in soothing patterns and whispered something in her ear. Macey's lashes fluttered tiredly, she was exhausted, and apparently Alicia was also, though she was doing a pretty job of hiding it. Nothing made him weaker than seeing her so captivated and smitten with a child, with his child.

He returned moments later and found Macey already asleep in her arms, "No hot drink then?" he laughed.

"Too slow Gardner. Can I get one instead?" she looked up at him through her reading glasses and he couldn't help but smile at how appealing she looked, wrapped with his toddler and her hand struggling to hold a book. He unconsciously leaned in to kiss her forehead, and moved back. "Chocolate or coffee?"

"Coffee, and make it like you used to"

"Yes mam."

* * *

After placing Macey next to Zahara, Alicia returned to her seat, grabbing her book and forcing her mind into avoidance and silent entertainment. He wasn't having a minute of it. He placed her cup on the stool, took the book off her lap, and sat in front of her

"Hey.. I was reading that.."

He removed her reading glasses from the bridge of her nose and grabbed her hands. "Talk to me" he demanded.

"Um. Okay, about what?"

"You've been acting strange since I got here, you wouldn't let me go before.."

"Am I not entitled to hug you when I haven't seen you in three months?" she interrupted.

"Steve told me that Owen was worried about you"

"He did?" she glanced back at the rear of the plane in time to catch Steve snoring. "He's supposed to be my bodyguard, not my therapist."

"You look tired, have you been sleeping?"

"Of course"

"Eating?"

"Will!" she grew angry,

He laughed at her irritation, "It's not funny!" she cried.

"I'm sorry" he looked down in time to catch her hands falling into his. Her fingers intertwined with his own and he waited for the silence to carry them out.

"I had a dream" she said

"Like Martin Luther King?"

"It's not funny anymore" she tried her best to appear serious, but her small smirk suggested otherwise. He took the smile off his face and squeezed her hand in support.

"It felt so real, like I could almost smell it in my sleep. It was horrible. In my dream I was in bed and I had woken up to see Peter next to me, only he wasn't breathing and I didn't care. I could hear Zahara crying but I didn't know where she was, when I found her she was with a social worker and he claimed that he was taking her away from me. I didn't even get to hold her."

Once she finished talking, including the broken piece where she had woken Zahara up that morning just to share her tears, she found herself wrapped in Will's embrace, his soft cologne moving around her body like an invisible musk. "No one is ever going to take her away from you. I promise." It was the same response Owen had vowed to her, and it still made no difference.

"How do you know that?"

"Because you're the most amazing mother I've ever known. Because you'd fight through hell for your children, and because I'd drag every lawyer in the state to stop it from happening."

"I hate how it's so easy for somebody to snatch her from me"

"I know" he kissed her shoulder lightly and rubbed her back. She curled into his arms, lost in a sea of security and love.

"I wish you were here all the time" she whispered, afraid that somebody might hear her revelation "When I first entered my campaign, I didn't realise how lonely I would be until I started flying. I would think about you all the time when we were travelling."

"I called you, once. When Mace was born, I called you" She tied her brows together in confusion.

"I realized after, that your phone was probably disconnected. They changed your number didn't they?"

She nodded, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I thought it was probably a sign that I leave you alone. You were so amazing, the things you were doing overseas, the way you had bluntly questioned every institution in the world. I didn't want to take that away from you."

"I just wish I had found out about Macey earlier. Have you heard from Samantha?"

"You mean after she repeatedly bashed my car with my baseball bat and threw a fit in front of my sisters?" he smiled at her gauged reaction.

"What!"

"Yep. I deserved it I guess,"

"Where was Macey in all of this?"

"She was at school. Don't worry, she knows nothing."

A guilty frown crowded Alicia's soft features as she glanced down at their tanged hands. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault."

He took her face in his hands, he panicked only a little, knowing where guilt got Alicia in dark days like this one. "Don't blame yourself. I called it off. She knew the truth, she had known it for a long time. I chose you, we chose each other. That's all that matters"

"We chose each other" she repeated, grinning. "I like that"

"Now look who's making fun of me" he mused

She shifted her body closer to his, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

The kiss knitted with powerful, familiar emotions; soft and passionate, passionate and intense, intense like the flame in her heart. He pulled an inch apart, luring oxygen back into their lungs and leaving herself completely disorientated with hunger. She hated how easy it was for him to gain his place back into her heart, and she liked that she could still love him, this way. She was sure that there wasn't enough sonnets, or acts in the world to express how much she loved this man, but she was willing to find out.

"You look exhausted" he declared

"Thanks" she mumbled

"How about a nap? I'll wake you up when we land."

"Okay." She didn't put much of a protest on his front, which surprised him to say the least. He pushed the recliner in both their seats to a comfortable sitting and urged her to lie down. She placed her head on his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his torso, the soft fabric of his jumper warm enough to rest her nerves. She closed her eyes, and bathed in the sensation of having him close.

* * *

The big sky was turning dark when they landed in Bozeman airport, he had woken Alicia from her sleep after he removed Macey and Zahara from the jet and buckled them into the SUV. "Come on, it's time to go.." he brushed her messy hair away from her face.

"We're here already?"

"Yep. Everything is in the car, wear this, its freezing outside." He took off his jumper and draped it around her shoulders.

"Steve said I can't walk out with you. For reasons of disclosure. He thinks there's some photographers across the terminal" said Will

"You're kidding me right?"

"Don't worry about it. Everything's going to be okay"

She picked her pillow off the seat and marched toward the exit. Overlooking the chilling air, she raced down the steps, toward her three agents. "I want them gone. Those photographers, I don't care how you do it. But I want them out and if they don't leave I will call Eli Gold and make sure they're out of a job by tonight, do you understand?"

"Leesh it's okay.." said Will from her shoulder. She put a hand in his face and looked through Steve's eyes. "I want them gone. Now."

Two other cars followed there one, both carrying their luggage and her agents. Steve drove with Will in the passenger's seat, the two of them spoke in sport's grammar, Alicia failed at understanding anything they said, so she immersed herself in toddler language instead, making sure that the two little girls were dressed in warm nightwear and their stomachs were fed.

Her small dispute toward her agents didn't go unnoticed by Will, he questioned her when he had climbed into the car. She ignored him, hoping that this wasn't the beginning of a tense drive. By the time they reached the private resort, Zahara and Macey were barely awake. The mountains were even more cold then it was below. Alicia wrapped Zahara in her blanket and carried her up the stairs with Will in toe. They placed both of their sleepy children in the same bed, the heating pushed from the ceiling gave a warm breeze in the king sized bedroom. She placed a gentle kiss on Zahara's nose, and reached over to do the same with Macey. Will watched her from behind.

"You okay now?" he asked as they tip-toed out of the bedroom, clearly remembering her outrage from before.

"Bath?" she asked him instead

"Actually.." he looked down, "There's a game on, I've already missed first half"

"A game?" she raised her brows and smiled.

"Mark said it's a good one"

"Are my agents corrupting you already?"

"More like the other way around"

She yanked him gently by his shirt and kissed his lips. "Don't leave me alone for too long"

"I promise." He kissed her once more, happy to have her with him, happy to be free and open with their love. "Try and get some sleep. You won't be getting any more of it for the next week." She laughed to herself as they parted.

"I'm counting on it Gardner."


	29. The Adorn

AN: Thank you my sweet beta Andrea for editing this chapter. Warning, major fluff :)

* * *

A shiver of cold air and bright light filtered through the window and hit her face, causing translucent pieces from the sun to reflect on her pale skin. Their first night here proved to be an unconscious one, she had slept for more than ten hours and woke up to Macey blowing kisses in her face. The memory made her heart grow with happiness and her eyes finally open. Their second night had proved even more beneficial, physically stimulating. The house was empty as the girls had fallen asleep downstairs, one of the agents took shifts at night outside on the porch, whilst the other two slept outside in the lot. She remembered Will walking out from the shower last night, she remembered fondly his response when she took hold of his hand, locked the door and forced him onto the bed. A sweet smile surged across her face as memories of last night resurfaced.

 _Soft lips pressed themselves against the arc of her neck while his gentle hands caressed her creamy thighs. He had always been gentle with her, in their years together, afraid that if he drove her too strong, time would never see them through the night. Tonight was different though, she had him forever, and so she strained at the need to go slow, forcing him to bruise and mark and throw until there wasn't any more energy in both of them._

 _He flipped her onto her back and took hold of her wrist as he smashed his hips into hers. She groaned in pain and sighed in ecstasy. The thrill of having him inside her never ceased to amaze her, his strength, his determination, his endless power to make her feel good, this good, reminded her of all their other times together. She looked into his eyes and held onto his hair tightly, sharing a passionate kiss, she pulled apart and arched her back, closing her eyelids, she dug her nails into his lower back and moaned loudly as he pumped into her. "Will"_

Alicia stretched her sore limbs and climbed out of bed. At some point during the night, she had dressed herself into a pair of grey night shorts and a white tank top, or maybe Will had dressed her, she didn't remember. She smiled to herself as she heard her ankles crack against the white fluffy carpet. She made her way for the window. The view never failed at taking her breath away. A long river from below the snowy mountains stretched across the country with sapphire crystals sparkling across cold water. Her left hand moved over her right arm, trying to find the ache that dug into her skin. She looked down to see the large purple bruise on her wrist.

She looked back out the window, in time to catch a white dove fly meters away from the house. She smiled to herself, the symbolism behind it made the butterflies living in her stomach grow warmer. She looked back down at her arm and she smirked at the memory behind it.

 _She felt his hand tighten under her wrist as she lay underneath him. "Ah" she groaned at the pain in his grasp. "Faster" she demanded, near the edge. He stopped and looked into her eyes, dark lust crashed through those brown eyes of his as he stared into her own. He moved down toward her neck and bit her skin lightly, entering her once more to shadow the coldness of being apart from her._

 _"_ _I want you on top of me" he whispered, finally releasing his tight grasp on her hand. A stabbing pain shot to her elbow but she failed at noticing it, caught under the influence of his spine tingling gaze._

 _She pushed him off and pressed his athletic back against the bedsheets. She bit her lip as she strapped her leg around him, lowering her hips closer to his and joining him once more. His hand grazed across her thighs and around her ribs. She moved tenderly over him, sighing loudly as she closed her eyes. She heard him moan and gradually leaned across him, pressing her breast against his chest, she planted a soft intimate kiss against his lips. "I love you" she murmured._

"What's wrong?" she heard his gentle voice peek from behind her shoulder.

She jumped out of her hazy memory and quickly covered the bruise with her hand. "Nothing" she said.

His hands reached her hips from behind, he pressed a fleeting kiss against her shoulder and slowly removed her hand away from her arm. He looked down at the bruise for what seemed like hours, she could hear the clocks turning even before it reached 12, she looked up at him through green-hazel-like eyes and smiled gently.

"I think we may have swam overboard last night" her eyes shined bright with humour and happiness.

It may not have been the perfect choice of words in their situation, she knew that now by the way he suddenly pulled away and shook his head. She turned around and touched his chest, she didn't want him to feel guilty about hurting her, not when it came out of something so beautiful.

"Will, come on, it was an accident"

"Alicia, look at yourself" he gestured toward the vanity.

Peering over at the mirror, she moved closer to inspect the second bruise on her shoulder. It was small, compared to the one on her wrist. She watched through their reflection as his hand lifted her singlet to catch the third one above her hip. He searched for more, her lithe body standing there as if she were his own personal manikin. He found a fourth bruise on the small of her back and stopped.

There weren't any more bruises, not including the one that started to spread through his chest. She laughed at his grim face, struggling to believe that this was happening. "What's wrong with it?"

"You're practically beaten" A war of torment and anguish rose in his eyes, she wrapped her arms around his back and rested her chin against his chest. "Last night was perfect Will. I wouldn't take it back for anything. It doesn't hurt, see?" she lifted her arms up.

He stood still and just looked at himself through the mirror. "Say something before I find a real reason to be angry at you" she demanded.

He looked down at her and pushed a strand of hair away from her face. He kissed her lips lightly, and remained silent. Why couldn't he just see how happy she was?

"You're never gonna sleep with me again are you?" she questioned, half furious at her perfect morning having just been destroyed, and half anxious at his answer.

"Put some clothes on okay, breakfast is ready downstairs" he pulled away, looked at her wrist once more and then walked out.

She shook her head and laughed to herself. "Ridiculous" she murmured and slumped against the bed.

* * *

She decided to skip breakfast, the decision was a terse one. She knew how much he hated it when she didn't eat, so she avoided the kitchen and took her time in the shower. She heard him come inside the bedroom a couple of times, maybe to see if she was still alive. She laughed once more, hoping he understood how ridiculous the situation was. They were both adults, they were entitled to have a little fun, even if it contained a rough preference under the sheets.

She blow dried her hair, cleansed her face and wrapped a towel around her body. She made her way into the master bedroom and searched for something to wear in her suitcase. She noticed the bed had been made, and he had gathered her clothes strewn across the floor. Since when did he become so spotless? She'd noticed it in him for the last two days, and though they had spent years apart, she never expected Will to be this clean.

Making a greater mess, she tipped her suitcase on the floor and picked out her favourite jeans. She threw on a white turtleneck for the cold weather and sprayed through some perfume.

"Momma!" Zahara's eager voice shrieked as she spotted her mother walking down the stairs. She jumped from her chair, her little legs spilling as she raced toward her mom, Alicia bent down just in time to catch her.

"Morning munchkin! You seem super happy today"

"Dairy free pancakes that actually taste nice for once" Steve explained.

"I'll try not to take offence toward my own cooking thank you" she pushed him playfully and picked Zahara off the floor.

"Where are the others?"

"Some teenagers were hanging around the property last night, so Mark headed off to have a word with the neighbours"

"Don't scare them away"

"Mr Florrick gave strict orders to keep an eye on all strangers. I think he has a keen dislike toward the state"

"Gun law policy" she rolled her eyes as she placed Zahara back into her seat. "Peter's just trying to make my life a bit more harder." She sighed and moved over to Macey.

She kissed her cheek, and smiled at the chocolate syrup on her chin. "Morning baby. Did you have a good sleep?"

She nodded happily. "We slept on couch"

"I know! You're so lucky! Did you have fun?" she nodded and then looked over at her father.

"Daddy said we can't watch anymore movies today. He said it too bad for my eyes"

"Well daddy is just being so silly isn't he?" she moved toward the island and kissed his cheek. "Can I have pancakes too please?" she smirked.

"I guess I could cook some more up for you seeing as you're an hour late. Organic or dairy free?"

"Surprise me" she sat between Macey and Zahara and pulled out a flyer. "Okay. Princesses. Skiing or hiking today?"

"Skiing Licia!" Macey threw her hands up in the air, seeing the excitement, Zahara clapped her hands together and squealed loudly.

Alicia chuckled, "You finished eating baby?" the one year old nodded, reaching over to wipe her chin, Alicia made it to pick her off from her chair until Will cut in with a warm cloth to wipe her face. He lifted her with one arm and removed her bib.

"She has to take her daily medication" Alicia reminded him.

"I've already done it. Her temperature is a little bit higher than usual too, should I be worried?"

"It's fine. That usually happens during the mornings."

"Your pancakes are on the pan. I'm gonna go check her diaper." He left without another word, she watched him as he walked off.

"Leesh" Macey looked up at her, her eyes concerned

"hmm?" Alicia couldn't help but reach out and stroke those perfect brown curls.

"I feel sick" she touched her stomach lightly, looking up at her with puffy cheeks.

"Was it the pancakes baby?" she shrugged her little shoulders in response and looked down at the ground. She closed her eyes, and rocked back and forth. Knowing the signs, Alicia took her into her arms and raced for the bathroom.

* * *

"Should I tell the instructor that will be skipping the skiing?" Will asked.

"Yes" she had just hung up from her phone call with Victoria, a verbal diagnosis from across the country didn't settle her or Will's nerves. She had a feeling it was just the stomach flu, but Alicia had called the local doctor anyway.

"You and Zahara can still go if you want?"

"I'm not going skiing without Mace. It's okay, will go another day."

She finished folding the rest of Macey's clothes into the draw and took out a pair of her pink track pants and a white thermal top. "I'm gonna run her a bath. She's sweating too much. Can you get me my toilet bag please? It's in the bottom draw in the ensuite."

He returned with her bag, and Macey in his other arm. "Hi honey" she stretched her arms out for his daughter. "Are you feeling any better?"

She shook her head, wiped her face and touched her tummy. "I'b hungry leesh" tears welled up in her eyes. She had tried giving Mace her lunch, though she had only lasted ten minutes without heaving it up again.

"I know baby. But you know what happens when you eat"

"My tummy can't eat it like I can" she explained. Alicia smiled, and gestured toward the bath-tub. "I bet a nice steamy bath will make you feel better? We can do it later if you're not up to it?"

Macey rubbed her eyes, and looked up at her father for an answer. "I think you should let Leesh give you a bath princess. It'll make you all clean in time to see the doctor tonight"

Macey walked toward Alicia and stretched her arms up toward the ceiling. Alicia helped her in taking her shirt off. She rolled her own sleeves to her elbows and ran her hand through Macey's curls. "I'm gonna tie your hair up okay sweet pea?" Macey nodded, her gaze landing curiously on Alicia's hand.

"What's that?" she pointed toward the bruise on Alicia's wrist. Alicia looked up at Will, and back at his daughter.

"I had a bit of an accident, it was silly, but I'm okay"

"Does ib hurt?" her small chocolate eyes escalated into concern. _Not you too._ Alicia thought.

"No honey, I can't feel a thing. Literally, can't feel anything but a bit of frustration" she glared up at Will and then locked eyes with Macey once more. "Let's get you in the bath huh? I promise, you'll feel better afterwards."

"I have to give Zahara her bottle, what powder do I use?" Will asked from where he stood near the door.

"The pink one, and make sure that the water is warm enough. She hates it when the temperature is off"

He nodded and then paused, "look at us" he said. "We're like new born parents with two fully grown toddlers."

"Some holiday this is huh?" she chuckled.

* * *

As he placed Zahara down, he pressed a brief kiss against her forehead and slowly pulled apart, hoping that she wouldn't wake at the lack of his warmth. She murmured slightly and then rolled over onto her stomach. He smiled to himself, feeling extraordinarily accomplished to have put her to sleep. He wrapped the blanket over her small body and made his way for the kitchen.

Finally, Will was able to watch Alicia without interruption. She stood with her back faced toward him, sorting through Zahara's powder and Macey's medication. Her hair fell on her shoulders in that lovely way that made her appear absolutely effortless. Her turtleneck hugged her breasts perfectly, and her jeans wrapped around her bottom so securely, it made him excruciatingly territorial.

Slowly, his feet moved toward the island where he stopped inches behind her and placed his hands on her hips like he had that morning. She stopped what she was doing for two seconds, and then continued as if he weren't there.

He allowed his hands to travel to her shoulders, releasing the pressure and the ache in her muscles. He moved closer and wrapped both his arms around her own, bringing them in so he could entwine his fingers with hers. He pressed his lips against the fabric of her shirt, and inhaled the drug of her sweet shampoo.

"Careful. If you stand this close you might kill me"

Her words didn't sting him, she had every right to be mad at him, though he wasn't going to take his behaviour as a mistake. He couldn't help how he felt inside. He felt as though he had gone against his version of love when he saw those bruises. Will wasn't an expressive man, he wasn't sensitive when it came to notions of love and affection, but Alicia..

Alicia was simply everything to him. She was kind, and loving, but fierce and strong. She was sensitive, open minded and strong willed. He had spent years trying to hurt her, only to find that it was useless because it only hurt him even more. So why had he done it last night?

The intensity of the situation certainly was a reasonable excuse, plus her insatiable demands for more didn't help his state at the time. He laughed at her humour and he laughed at his own thoughts.

"I'm glad to see you now think it's funny" she scowled

"Only because you're too stubborn to see why I'm upset"

"You're upset?" she questioned. "Really? Because I'm nothing but angry at you right now." She released his hands and moved so she could stand in front of him.

"And so you should be. I deserve it." She closed her eyes and shook her head, growing even more frustrated.

"Why is this even a problem with us WIll?"

"Because I hurt you"

"Physically, yes. But we've hurt each other in the past haven't we?"

"Not with bruises Alicia."

She shook her head and remained silent. She folded her arms and leaned against the counter. "So what does this mean? We're never going to have sex ever again? I've been through a lot with you, but I'm not sacrificing my needs to satisfy your weaknesses." She said solemnly, but there was a teasing light in her eye.

"I don't ever want to feel the way I felt when I saw you in the mirror this morning"

She looked down at his shirt and furrowed her brows. "You've softened"

"What does that mean?"

"You never used to be like this when we were together"

"That's because I never had more than a couple of hours with you. Now I have you, with the curtains wide open and space to hold your hand in daylight. Do you know how foreign that is for me Alicia?"

"Do you know how foreign it is for me? Having you here to myself for seven days? I don't care about what happens underneath our sheets, I don't wanna be angry at you for something so stupid."

"Fine. I'll drop it, but only on my terms." He gave in easily, shrugging as if he meant half of it.

She nodded her head and moved into his chest. "Good, because I think I've fallen head over heels in love and I can't afford to kick you out again"

"So you're madly in love with me then?" he asked, proudly.

"No" she answered as if it was the most ridiculous concept on earth. "I was talking about Macey."


	30. The Family

A/N, This story is officially one years old and I can't believe I'm still going. Thank you to everyone who has read and continues to do so. I appreciate every single comment. I hate blabbering on, but all you special ones know who you are. Thank you :)

* * *

 **"** Thank you doctor. I really appreciate it" Will's soft voice echoed from down the hall.

The doctor was skilled and maven enough to practice perfect professionalism even in Alicia's presence, though he, like many others in this small town, was shocked to see her.

When she reached Will at the foot of the door, she was so happy she felt a keen desire to wrap her arms around the doctor, Will could sense it, and smiled wryly at her. "Alicia, come here" he gestured.

"Thank you so much for looking over her" she moved forward and shook his hand. "Are you sure my little one won't catch it as well?"

"As long as she doesn't spend as much time around the older one, and she eats the right food, I'm sure she will be fine" he smiled at her, that same speck of blush in his cheek.

"Thank you again"

"You're welcome Mrs Florrick. It's an honour to meet you. I had no idea that you were even in the state"

"I needed to find a quiet place to do some work and I wanted space for my child and my niece." It was Will that suggested the false reference toward Macey and his position, for her credibility and his unstable standing among the already curious public was building. Soon enough, word would get out, she knew this, though she was prepared to fight it.

"Well, you've certainly come to the perfect place. It's very quiet up here."

"It certainly is"

"I'll walk him out" Steve suggested, when the conversation ended.

"No, I will" Will said. Steve nodded his head and took a step back. Shocked at his willingness, Alicia followed Steve into the kitchen. Her agent had been searching through the phone book, finding some access for the internet cable so he could reach it outside in his cottage.

"You know, when I asked you to take it easy this week. I didn't mean completely" she joked

"I thought you deserved a normal vacation. As much as – normal – could possibly be in this household"

"I know I've said this plenty times before, but I really appreciate everything you do for me.. for us. Especially the girls, and I'm glad you're letting Will run free" she glanced outside the window, in time to see Will paying the nice doctor a fair amount of cash. The doctor tried to refuse, but Will handed it to him anyway. Alicia rolled her eyes, knowing Will's nature, she knew he would always find a way to give back, even if the doctor had already received a fortune from her bank account.

"It's not really difficult, with the way he is around you; I could probably retire now without a second thought."

"Okay. Now you've lost me" she chuckled, turning around to face him. He continued to study through the notebook, glancing up only once.

"The way you move, you position yourself around him without even thinking about it. When he moves, even a little bit, you adjust your position at the same time. Like magnets… or gravity or whatever. You're like a… colony, or a small coven. He would jump in front of a bullet for you, I don't even have to do my job most of the time."

"Since when did you become so animated with your thoughts?" she mused

He chuckled quietly. Will walked in, shutting the door behind him, he smiled at the both of them, completely oblivious to their conversation.

He made his way for her, slipping an arm around her waist, he felt the snow on his body start to melt from her warm touch. "He said Macey should be back to normal by tomorrow night"

She sighed with multi-layered relief and moved further into his cold chest. "How cold will it be tonight?" she asked, worried that he might catch the flu too.

"Below zero, the radio said"

"Thank god for open heating, otherwise I would be packing the girls up and taking them to some beach far away from this place"

"I knew I should have made Macey pick that island" Will spoke aloud.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Well, we have to at least take the girls to the water sometime. Brad took us to this amazing place near DC just the other day. What was the name of it Steve?"

"Sandy beach park"

"Yea that's the one. Will, it's perfect. Private property and everything"

"Our very own beach?" he laughed

She popped an orange slice in her mouth.

"It's a nice neighborhood to live with too. My sister-in-law stays close" Steve pointed out.

"Really?" Alicia asked, clearly interested.

"Yep, for the most part, it's great. You would suit it" she raised her brows in curious thought.

"You thinking of relocating?" Will mused, pulling her gently to his side.

"Well, I can't live with my ex-husband and his mistress any longer can I?"

Steve laughed.

"And hotels are just not cutting it. Zahara has become best-friends with the doorman. How's that for a good home?"

"Excellent home if you ask me" Will replied, not too fond on the idea of Alicia moving to some fancy beach with a nice neighborhood.

"Don't worry baby" she teased, rubbing his chin and throwing emphasis on the old nick-name. "Chicago will be there waiting for me in several more months. In the meantime, I need somewhere to live, we can't have the first lady of United States homeless can we?"

"The press would have a blast" Steve mused.

"And then I would really be screwed"

"If a beach is what you want, then go for it." He kissed her forehead lightly, and stroked her arm with his finger. "I have to go and skype Cary, won't be long."

She spoke up quietly, trying to stop him, but the sight of his back walking away stopped her.

* * *

He moved past Macey and Zahara's bedroom, seeing his daughter asleep for the first time eased his paternal nerves. He walked toward the study, closed the door and sat behind the large wooden desk. This house was still impeccable to his eye, flawless timber and warm dark colours, the kind of house that he imagined for himself and Alicia. A beach house was nice too, he thought, but he didn't want his childhood reflected in his life now. He wanted her in Chicago, where they belonged.

When he answered to the video message from the office, he wasn't expecting to see both Diane and Cary. They waved willingly, and he did the same, inconspicuous to their true reasons of wanting contact on a Saturday evening.

"You two are working, today?"

"Judge Parks has moved the trial to this Monday" Diane explained. "We need your help, or Cary does, I'm just here because you're not." She reminded him of his childish choice to abandon them without notice.

He smiled to himself, amused to know that Diane was still the same. "I'm all ears, whatever you need"

They continued with the case, Will serving minor feedback to Cary's cross examination. Diane argued with Cary, and Cary argued back, but they seemed to laugh by the end of it. "Carter seems fit to do final arguments"

"Yea" he answered. The door opened quietly as Alicia slipped in. She placed a cup of tea on the table and made her way over to the window seat, folding her legs up against her chest, she remained quiet. He was grateful that Diane or Cary couldn't see her, he wasn't sure about the three of them talking just yet, not with their newfound relationship still living in silence.

"I think Carter would do a good job, but even so, Cary should take final arguments. You know this case more than anyone else."

"I think we need to use him a bit more" said Cary

"He's on too much cases, he's bound to collapse any moment now"

Diane and Cary fell silent, and somehow, Will knew the wheels were turning. "He's been offered a job in DC. Junior partner" Cary explained.

"What? When?"

"Just the other day." Will looked up at Alicia, she had her hair brushed back perfectly behind her shoulders, her lips were pink as ever, and her skin blossomed with little crystals, the exquisite view outside surely doing things to her complexion. The view could never be as beautiful as she was, he was slightly in awe, and maybe even a bit fearful at the fact that she was easily prone to distract him like this.

"Will? Hello?" Cary waved in front of the screen.

Will shook himself awake. "He's never gonna leave Chicago, unless Grace leaves."

"Grace also has been offered a job at a different firm." Head's turned then, including Alicia's one. She moved to face him, her ears suddenly on fire.

"In DC?" ask Will.

"Yes"

"She gets offered jobs on multiple occasions" Will tried to justify. "She's the president's daughter. Everyone wants her in their business"

"This is different" Diane said. "She was honest with me. She told me that she applied for the job. She's looking at moving back Will"

Alicia's jaw dropped to the floor at the revelation. Clearly she had no idea. Alicia mouthed 'WHAT' in silent astonishment, wanting more answers.

"When did she do this?"

"A couple of days ago. I told her that I would have to discuss this with you. You were in charge of her contract when she started working for us"

"What about Zach?"

"He's staying, but I really want him to start working for us full time Will. Could you talk to him? Maybe persuade him into a contract?" Diane asked.

Will moved back in bewilderment. He was still trying to grasp onto the fact that he was about to lose two of his best lawyers to none other than Alicia.

"Will?"

"I can't pressure him into something like that" he answered truthfully. "The deal was that he would be our accountant as a freelance worker. But Grace and Carter.."

"We can't lose them can we? They're our best lawyers"

"Will talk about this later on. I have to go"

"Now?"

"Yes. I'm sorry"

"Okay. Well, give my love to Mace and say hi to Alicia" Diane said, clearly taking Cary back into oblivion.

"Wait.. what?" Cary called loudly, shocked to have heard Alicia's name. Diane would have the free choice to explain or not explain the details, Will decided, as he pressed the exit button.

"My daughter's moving back to DC" Alicia jumped from her seat, joy clear in her features.

"We don't know that for sure..."

"It doesn't matter. I can't tell you how happy I am" she sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her mouth covered his abruptly, leaving him breathless as she pulled apart. "Thank you Will. Thank you"

"For what?"

"For convincing her to come back"

"But.. but.. I didn't do anything"

"Of course you did. You brought us together" tears welled up in her eyes. "I can't tell you how much I was worried about her after the shootings, I felt like such a wreck when I had to leave her. But now I don't have to worry anymore"

"Slow down okay tiger. We haven't even talked to her yet"

"I'll call her tomorrow. I have to talk to her." She leaned in again, wrapped those strong arms around his neck and choked him with a kiss that made him starve for more and fight for the need to breathe. She pulled back, resting her forehead against his own, she chuckled quietly in her own little world and stood back up. She looked down at him as if he owned the moon and made it spin.

"I'm gonna go start dinner. I'll leave you to do some work okay?"

He looked up into her eyes and nodded. "Okay."

"Don't be too long."

He watched her walk away, leaving him lost with frenzied passion and uncertainty. If the rumour failed to be true, and Grace decided to stay like he knew she would, he might have to fire her in order to keep that same smile on her mother's face. He thought about it, and laughed to himself. He was contemplating on firing his best junior associate for love, and he felt good about it. To have this new-found philosophy told him that he had the ability to choose Alicia's happiness above anything else.

He had grown, finally.

A sense of broad fear and overwhelming joy circled his chest.

* * *

"The child is awake" Steve said once she drained the pasta, teasing Zahara's position as if she were a possessed alien, which she had been, for the last day, circling Will and wanting him, only.

And Will, the melancholy giver and soft soul that he was, couldn't refuse Zahara's pleas even if he wanted to.

Alicia simply could not afford to fight for Will against her own daughter, it just wasn't fair, especially knowing, she didn't have a chance with those green eyes waging war against any woman out there.

"Make yourself useful and keep an eye on Macey's soup" she threw the towel in his face and ran quickly before he could return the favour.

Venturing across the room and into the large warm living room, she walked around the big stone fire-place and squatted beside Zahara's face. "You had a pretty short nap princess" she murmured softly

Zahara rubbed her eyes, and kicked the blanket away, stretching her hands out for her mother, Alicia picked her up and settled her against her chest. _I'm so glad you're not sick._ She thought, knowing what it was like to have two toddlers down with the flu.

"Will" Zahara murmured, clearly wanting his hugs instead of her own mother's.

"I love you too" Alicia mumbled, smiling again, not that she had stopped smiling that day, she ventured toward the kitchen.

Singing a gentle lullaby, she rocked her softly in her arms, trying to find a juice box among the countless supplies they had in the refrigerator.

Heavy footsteps patted down the staircase and the cool breeze of Will's presence moved into the room. He spotted Zahara immediately in her arms, and moved toward her with the biggest smile she had ever seen, Alicia felt a tiny bit jealous.

Zahara dropped her juicebox in Alicia's hand, and returned the same grin for Will. He took her into his arms and lifted her into the air, like he did with Macey this morning.

"Two hours! That's the shortest nap I've ever seen sweet pea." he exclaimed

Zahara brought her tiny lucent hand to Will's face, practicing her perfect pitch with her chubby palm, all she needed now was a ball to capture Will's heart completely and abduct him from Alicia entirely.

"You been practicing?" Will asked, in awe. She nodded, her smile shocking and beautiful. No wonder Will was so easily fooled. Alicia thought.

"Macey despises baseball" Will said again. "How can this one year old like it so much?"

"Probably because you're not the only man in her life that has an obsession with sports. Zahara's easily swayed, especially when it comes to things considered as moving around and hard work" Alicia winced, memories of her own poor baseball services back in Georgetown.

Will laughed, reading her thoughts. He glanced toward the stove-top, intrigued at her decision to cook. "The soup is for Macey" she explained. "Lasagne is in the oven."

"You didn't have to cook" he pressed. "I could've done it"

"But I wanted to" she insisted. "I can't have you poison everybody"

Will looked mildly offended as he bursted into laughter. "You clearly haven't spent enough time with me" he moved forward, she sucked in a breath, her heart pounding as she waited for the inevitable.

She moved closer to him, expecting him to kiss her, but instead he grabbed the wooden spoon from behind her head and smiled at her flushed face. "Let me show you" he said.

Taking Zahara out from his arms and fitting her into her own, she watched him as he threw ingredients into the bowl. "Close your eyes"

She did as she was told, only calm from the little dimpled hands placed against her chest. Zahara was curious too, though unlike Alicia, she was allowed to see.

"What do you smell?" he asked, his hands still covering her eyes.

Mostly him, she thought. His strange, honey lavender scent mixed with his subtle masculine cologne. A new awakening to their memories from last night, sweet, tangent memories, soft moans and hard grasps, fixed with the scent of his nice smell. _Wake up Alicia_. She schooled herself silently.

"Food" she answered, knowing the obvious.

"I mean, what kind of food?"

Wriggling her nose, she took a whiff and then bit her lip. "Mint?"

"Again"

"Some kind of herb" she fought the urge to bend down and eat it, using the flavour of Will's scent to avoid burning her lips.

He lifted the spoon to his mouth, blowing on it gently, before dragging it to her lips. "Rosemary?" she asked, licking her lower lip at the surprisingly wonderful aftertaste.

"I told you I can cook now" he said, proudly, as if a few herbal essences could prove him to be a qualified chef. Removing his hand from her face, he watched her closely as she opened her eyes.

"You're cruel" she teased. "You were never this innovative in the past"

"That's because I was useless in the kitchen"

Watching him as he pressed an unconscious kiss against Zahara's forehead. "That's very true" she answered, still watching him as he moved toward the closet, where their warm coats were. She recognized the familiar gust of childish excitement in his eyes. "No, Will" she warned, already feeling Zahara slip out of her hold.

"No more playing outside. It's freezing!"

"Come on Alicia, she loves it. And if I even have the slightest chance of training any child on the foundations of baseball, I have to try now, while she's still young."

"She's not a boy! And sport is certainly not going to be her life when she gets older"

"Have you never wanted an athlete in the family?" he begged

Seeing his false-miserable face and eager eyes brought out a low growl in the darkest places of her throat, she was so absolutely weak when it came to him.

"Fifteen minutes, and then I want her inside, where the warmth is." Will drove a fist pump in the air, and took Zahara in his arms. He dressed her in as much winter layers as he possible could, before doing the same for himself.

* * *

The night came, Zahara had been bathed and put to bed separate from Macey's, though still in the same room. Neither Will nor Alicia wanted Zahara to catch the stomach flu too, but they agreed that it was best they remained together.

Macey still couldn't hold anything down, and Alicia was willing to go to any lengths to warm that stomach of hers, but for now, Macey simply wanted her father to hold her to sleep, so Alicia kissed her goodnight, gaining a tired smile in response, and left the bedroom.

She grabbed her laptop out from her bag, sat on the bed, and grasped her reading glasses. She scrolled through her personal emails, finding one from Peter. He needed her support on some diplomatic issue regarding taxes. She agreed that they would talk more once she got back. There were two messages from Marissa, another one from her brother, and a second from Victoria: All wishing her well for the rest of her vacation.

Soft voices came from across the hall, Will was amazing as a father, though she knew this from the very beginning, it was still overwhelming to feel this intense connection with him.

She returned to her work emails, scrolling through the few dozen photos she had been sent by one of her campaign advisors. She smiled warmly at the children there, and saved the pictures into her documents before falling upon Brad's unread email.

 _'_ _United Nations want me back'_ was all it said, with an attachment below. A legal document of his term as an ambassador set to be repaired and refreshed, leaving her alone to handle her own campaign. She had always known this moment would come, though she was expecting another three months before he could revisit the UN. They had probably been drawn to his – their – publicity over the last few months, and seen the rise of attention toward her campaign, that they felt it necessary to have him back again, now that he was favoured and likeable among the press.

 _'_ _Up to you to decide'_ she began. Then realised that he would probably read through her disappointment. _'But you belong with us'_ she continued. _'Of course, without pressure. Thank you for the jet once again, I owe you one Brad.'_

She touched reply. And pulled back when Will walked in. "All good?" she asked

He nodded patiently, carving his gaze over her cute position curled on the bed. He climbed on the large duvet cover, and crawled over to plant a kiss against her lips. "Very good" he responded.

"I can see that" she mused.

He pulled her glasses away from her face, and looked at them curiously before tossing them on the dresser. "What happened to going slow?" she teased, watching him as he closed her laptop and pulled the blanket over them.

"I just want to hold you, for a little while."

She nodded understandingly, failing at hiding her small grin. When she thought about it now, they didn't do much holding last night. Too crazed with their wild passion for one another, the closest they got to soft intimacy was the whispered words of love among their erratic love making.

She cuddled into him, the airy smell of Macey's scent still on his chest and Zahara's power still overruling his heart's judgement. She didn't mind one bit, really, because she was hopelessly happy.

"Are you really gonna live in that house in DC?" he asked gently

With her eyes closed, she shrugged her shoulders lightly. "I don't know yet"

"I don't want you to" he said, simply. She would have asked for a reason if she didn't already know. The idea of her living somewhere comfortable was enough temptation for her and Zahara to stay permanently, which of course, was not ideal, not for Will anyway.

"Okay." She murmured.


	31. The Girls

A/N: It's been a while (as it always is lol) but thanks to those who have reviewed and still continue to read. I take in, and appreciate every comment. Some good stuff and bad stuff will be coming soon so hang in there XD

* * *

Will's long and comforting scent was waiting for her when she woke in the bed, alone, with nothing but her clothes from the day before still worn into her skin, and a few tangled blankets. She stretched across the bed, hoping that by some miracle he would be there, knowing very well that he wasn't; she had felt his lips against her forehead earlier that morning when he left the bed, quietly, as if he feared she would wake and demand that he return to her arms.

She sighed with bliss, allowing the smile to fetch across her face for the ten billionth time. Her face should be hurting by now, her jaw and cheekbones being stretched to their limit with pure and utter happiness, she was afraid that her head may burst.

Checking the time, she realised that it was only 7.30, and silently wondered where the hell Will could've gone.

Alicia crossed the threshold of the bedroom and wended her way toward the girls bedroom. Her gaze immediately set on Zahara's empty bed, she panicked at the absence of her precious girl, the sheets thrown across the bed with her tiny pillow gone as well.

She turned for Macey's bed, and her heart fell short of a few single hits.

There, in the queen sized bed, was Macey and Zahara snoring quietly, their small arms grasping tightly to their favourite stuffed animals'. Zahara must have realised in the late hours of the night that she and her sidekick had been separated, and she must have moved. Alicia smiled, imagining her tiny one year old crawling off her own bed and struggling to get on the next one, just as she often did with Peter's bed or her own.

She tip-toed toward the two of them and sat beside Zahara's sleeping form, peering over at her sweetness and then doing the same with Macey. Alicia brushed Macey's curls away from that perfect small face and leaned over to press a kiss against her forehead, doing the same for Zahara.

She pulled away and caught Zahara's dark feathered lashes flutter and squint at the light, she looked up at her mother, half shaken at the abrupt awakening and half furious that her prized morning had been interrupted.

"Go back to sleep baby"

If only the child could talk with accurate diction, Alicia would probably be in Zahara's naughty list, first having put her to bed early, separating her from Macey and then waking her up because she simply wanted a kiss. A kiss that she probably would've gotten after she _awoke_ from her peaceful dreams.

As if on cue, Zahara, glared up at her mildly, turned around with her stuffed elephant and crawled into a delightful ball, rubbing her lashes to sleep.

"I love you" Alicia whispered happily. Smiling as Zahara drifted back off into her state of seamless unconsciousness.

"Leesh" Macey's raspy voice sung out gently, her eyes barely able to stay afloat among the cheerful daylight.

"Did I wake you honey?" Macey huffed out a frustrated breath and stayed quiet for a few moments.

"I tried to tell Zahara that she wasn't allowed to sleep wit me" Macey tried to explain through sleepy eyes. "because she might get sick.. but she wouldn't listen, she just hopped in like a rabit"

Alicia smiled at the image, and moved around the bed so she could sit next to the bright toddler. "Don't worry honey, I know how much she didn't want to be apart from you. If she gets a bit sick, It'll be okay."

"So she can sleep in my bed tonight too?" hopeful eyes loomed up at her, innocent enough that Alicia would have considered herself a full sinner if she were to deny her.

"Of course" Alicia tried to ignore the horrible image of both her girls asleep, sweating, queasy and crying in pain. A mother's worst fear. "but will see how the day goes. If you get any worse, we might have to take you to the doctor's office this time, maybe even Zahara too"

"I feel better now though" the child tried to reason, just like her father, she was determined to win her place back into the land where toddlers never get sick and life was simply easier. Alicia knew the feeling, the longing, having been trapped in that white bubble for three years, only fearing that she would have to suffer through another five more, she had found Macey's place sensible.

"And soon we can go on the ski's just like you said" Macey carried on, somewhat awake now, but still dreaming of being free again, only this time she was verbalizing it.

"Will see how you feel baby. Do you want to get out of bed now?" Macey nodded, carefully untangling her small body weight from the bed as to not disrupt Zahara.

"I need to pee" she said, clearing needing aid, not for the first time.

Alicia lifted her onto the toilet bowl, then off again when she was done, helping her wash her hands and brush her teeth. Strangely, the child liked to brush before breakfast and after, clearly having inherited her father's jean, probably born from Macey having watched Will do the same each morning for her two and a half year life-span. She smiled softly, envisioning the image and running her hands through Macey's curls.

"Leesh"

"Hmm?" Alicia wiped her chin with a towel,

"I luve you" Macey told her, without fear or surprise. Just plain truth. She wasn't afraid of Alicia's answer either, she wasn't _looking_ for an answer, or a speech or some kind of retort. She bounced off the stool and trotted her way for the bedroom. Alicia touched her arm, bent down and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I love you too" she tried her best at fighting those ridiculous weak tears and opted for an emotional smile. The kid was smart though, and she wiped Alicia's moist cheek with her warm palm.

"Don't cry" she said "it's okay to love other little girl's too right?"

This time, Alicia laughed. "It definitely is, especially you."

* * *

"DADDA!" Zahara squealed loudly, the screech so loud it hurt Alicia's ears. Zahara stood on the chair, peering over at the laptop with raspberry sauce on her mouth, happy to see Peter's video call.

A very curious Macey sat on the other end of the table, nibbling her peanut butter toast as she kicked her feet back and forth below the table.

Peter and Zahara spoke in happy voices, Peter reminding her of how much he missed her, of how busy he had been with work, though he was going to have an entire weekend off to spend with her when she got back. Alicia highly doubted it, but she smiled nonetheless, silently pondering why she had such an ugly attitude toward Zahara's close connection with her father. It was most likely her possessive nature posing toward her own love for her child, _their_ child. She wasn't afraid to admit that she wanted Zahara all to herself.

"I have to travel to California in a few weeks for an important meeting. Venessa's new home is also in calabasas, so we were wondering, if we could take Zahara. It'll only be a few days, and I'm sure you'll be happy to take some time off"

Alicia wondered what made him think that she would voluntarily like to be apart from her baby girl, though, she remained reasonable and rational, remembering that she was once a lawyer herself, and she didn't need Diane or Will to fight her battles for her, even if divorce proceedings proved wrong.

"What's Zahara going to do? Sit in a play room all day whilst you negotiate the national debt?"

"The same thing she does when she's with you on your work days, of course, that won't include fancy jets and secret resorts" he said, almost jokingly, trying to cool the already cold air, though she knew a mouthy comment when she heard one.

She chuckled, and so did Peter, she stopped when she saw Will appear behind the fireplace. He had clearly been listening from where he lounged in the front room, he took off his reading glasses, and made his way toward the table, eyeing her almost territorially, as if he was prepared to jump across the table and save her from an argument. Clearly, he didn't know how civil she and Peter learned to be.

"Venessa and I have some time off on the Friday afternoon" he continued, "she suggested we take Zahara to Disney land. I want to be the first to take her."

Macey's head popped up from across the table and her brown eyes rose with complete disbelief. She was struggling to stay silent.

"It's dangerous though isn't it? With all the people and publicity, Zahara would be scared." An image of her little girl standing alone with strangers looking over her tremored through Alicia's mind.

"I could have the park closed" he suggested.

"Of course you could" she muttered under her breath. "Okay then. Take her, but you'll need to keep a good eye on her Peter, you know how much I hate it when she spends more time with your staff than she actually does with you."

"That won't happen. She's gonna be with me all the time, even if I have to sit her in the conference room"

Those various political heads staring on at her daughter was even more frightening. She shook herself out of her split rage, and encouraged Zahara to say her final moments with her father.

"I wanna go to Disney land" Macey told Alicia quietly. She bent down at her height and stroked her cheek, "And you will one day sweetie, I'll take you there myself if I have to."

Macey returned to her food, still curious as to who this man was and how he had such a power that could even influence a place like Disney land. Will would give her a few more years to train her muse before he would explain it all.

"Bye byee daddaa!" Zahara waved at the front camera and leaned forward to press her berry covered lips on the laptop screen. Alicia smiled at Peter as she pulled Zahara from crushing the device completely.

"I'll see you when I get back from Canada" Peter said, his gaze still set on his daughter.

"Be safe" urged Alicia,

"Always."

She watched him curiously as he fiddled with a pen and paper. "Has Grace or Carter contacted you lately?"

"No, why?"

"No reason. Bye." He hung up before she could get another word out.

"That went well" Will remarked once she closed the portable device.

She placed Zahara into her seat next to Macey and together, the two little chestnuts returned to crayons and eating. Alicia moved away, shifting closer to where he stood.

"It did" she watched him for a few seconds, absorbing his sense of animosity or maybe his obvious uneasiness. "What made you think it wouldn't?"

He shrugged lightly and glanced at the ground. "I don't know"

"I'm sure you do" she pressed, her sense of control slipping. "You can tell me anything, you know"

He leaned against the counter and folded his arms, his gaze moving toward the table and his lips unconsciously turning for a smile. Zahara had just placed an apple slice in Macey's mouth, and Macey gobbled it without a glance, as if they did it regularly.

"You and Peter are tied forever now aren't you?" he murmured, still looking at Zahara

"Maybe.. but that doesn't mean will ever fall in love agai…"

"I'm not talking about that" he stopped her. "Diane told me as little details as possible about your mediations with him, but I got a sense that you and Peter had fought in negotiation, spat ice at each other, I even imagined you hurling across the desk and trying to choke him"

"Okay" she laughed, "um, you got me lost at ice but choke?"

"I know" he shook his head. "But you can't blame me, I've been in enough mediations to see it happen"

"Where is this going Will?"

"I guess I just thought, with your separation going public, the prospect of you hating him would finally give you the chance to be free of him, for good. But your conversation with him before, no matter how snarky or strange it was, it made me realize that he's always going to be in our lives"

"Is that a real problem for you?"

"No" he answered after a long minute. "Though, I have to admit, it is a little strange seeing you two… civil."

She laughed quietly, her gaze landing back on Zahara. "Well.. we have good enough reason"

"I don't think I'd be able put up with Callie, if she ever came back that is."

It was the first time he had openly spoken her name, and though Alicia knew she should have felt something for him, sympathy maybe? She didn't feel anything, maybe a little compassion for the woman on the other side, who hadn't even seen her child since her days as a new born. Alicia couldn't imagine being away from her children for that long. She couldn't imagine being apart from Macey for that long, and she had only known the child for a few months.

She moved forward and pressed her lips against his, disregarding the fact that they were trying to keep it tame around the girls. He pulled her into his arms, laughing with her as he kissed her ferociously. She lifted her chin higher to reach his face and kissed him with a passion that could have possibly set the house on fire, she probably wouldn't have notice.

When her hand traveled to the button on his shirt, he finally pulled away. "We really have to stop" he mumbled, "I have a reputation you know? I can't have my biggest weakness exposed like this"

"I didn't realize I was in your weakness category Mr Gardner" she whispered slyly

"You are my weakness" he mumbled under his breath, barely audible for her to understand.

She moved toward him again, smiling, but he placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Stop it" he warned, trying to regain his sense of composure. "Alicia, you kill me" his hazel eyes were wide with desire, she could hardly control herself as she laughed. He moved away, shifting the subject to one that would hopefully be discussed later on in the night.

"I believe somebody promised us Skiing just the other day" he announced loudly, so that the birds and the frozen beez and hopefully the entire house was able to hear him.

Macey jumped from her seat, turning around to face her father. "Yes Daddy! I'b not sick anymore so we can play all day!"

"Alicia, you're coming with us right?"

Still on a high from her kiss, she failed at answering immediately, catching Macey's alarming eyes.

"Pleazee Licia! Please please!" her long curls bounced up at down as she jumped on her toes.

"Yes! Okay, okay!" she skipped over and took her into her arms, swinging her around. "You're a persistent little angel aren't you? I can't imagine who you get it from" she looked at Will then, smiling, she moved for Zahara's seat and allowed both of them to stand, their messy hair and sauce covered faces melting her heart.

* * *

"Mommy's not going to let you go outside without a few hundred layers to cover your body baby" he told Zahara, she glared up at him through her green eyes, and moved her hair out of her face.

"I too hot" she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air like a stricken teenager.

"Daddy, you're upsetting her" Macey said from where she stood on the bed. She folded her arms across her chest, hugged the stuffed elephant to her breast and scowled at him from above. Their little trio was certainly outdoing him. He was beginning to feel cornered with their frowns growing into ever so frightening terror.

"Do you want to argue with Leesh?" he mentioned Alicia for the sake of his own safety, laughing at his own absurdity.

"Why are you laughin?" Macey questioned,

"Alicia is not going to be very happy once she sees you in that skirt young lady" he threatened once more, only realizing now that this could be a candid image into their future, schooling their teenage daughters on correct attire. He realized now, that he was absolutely hopeless without Alicia. He hadn't a chance.

"But I have bubblebeas under" she argued, pointing toward the yellow and black striped leggings she wore. He carved a hand through his hair.

"Macey, we made a deal, warm clothes." He watched as the gears in her little head rotated, probably thinking of the time where she refused her chores, thus she wasn't allowed to go on that stupid trip with Aubrey to the zoo.

"Okay" she huffed, jumping on her bottom and removing the skirt. "I'm tired of you alreadie" she mumbled.

"Tell me about it kiddo."


	32. The Maternal

They had been out in the snow for forty five minutes when Alicia decided upon a break, for herself of course, seeing as he still had the girls wrapped on his back.

Alicia was amazing on the skis, she and the instructor had raced downhill and came back with less bruises then he expected. She simply never ceased to amaze him, this woman, who could literally do anything without force or trouble. She glided on the ice, her hair blowing in the wind and her face shielded from the sunlight. Winter was virtually on its last days, nonetheless, Montana was still able to give them the free Christmas that they never ever had before.

When she was done, she told Zahara to stay close to Macey, as Macey had repeatedly informed her that she was well and truly capable or protecting them from anyone and everyone who threatened their safety. Alicia laughed as she looked over at Steve and Will, and with silent language skills, Steve nodded in understanding and followed behind them.

She slipped into her boots and dug her hands into her pockets as she made her way up the bank and sat on the bench, taking Will's mug of coffee and drinking it.

She watched from a distance as Will rose a hand in his snow tangled hair and shook it gently, allowing his soft chestnut hair to mount through the wind.

Her gaze travelled further down his strapped muscles and slender frame. Though his skin was covered in clothing, she could almost sense the touch of his hands and the feel of his extreme warmth from where she sat. He turned to look at her in that moment, as if he knew her thoughts, she smiled at him, lovingly, she wanted so much to get up, march across the melting snow and kiss him, like other couples in the area did, but she sat still and imagined instead.

Will turned back to the girls, Macey and Zahara looked as though they were making polite toddler conversation with the other kids in the area. Two boys, older by a few years, laughed at something Macey said. Macey had a funny look on her face, Alicia noticed, anger? Hate? Sadness?

Alicia didn't know that such emotions could settle on Macey's innocent features.

It was only a minute when Will turned away to speak to Steve, the younger boy had pushed Zahara's chest, her little body falling onto the snow like a snow angel, and when Will's head returned, he caught Macey attack the boy to the ground, where she wrapped her hands on his face and scratched him repeatedly. Will picked her off easily with one hand, she continue to scramble and fight, her hands reaching out as if she had some kind of magical power that could hurt him.

Alicia ran over, ignoring the bewildered little boy as she picked Zahara off the snow and cuddled her into her chest. "You okay baby?"

Zahara nodded, trying to wipe the damp snow from her face.

"Macey" Will set her on the ground, as frustrated as he was, he remained calm. "Compose yourself and apologize right now, otherwise I'm putting you in the room for time out"

"But.."

"Now Mace" he looked at her sternly.

"he was saying bad things abuot Zahara daddy!" she huffed out, tears gathering in her eyes. "he was saying bad things" she repeated.

"You still have to apologize."

The boy's parents rushed towards them, shocked as their two children scrambled to their feet and hid behind their mother's body.

"I'm so sorry" Will said first. "I have no idea what happened, but my daughter is.."

"I know exactly what happened!" the father shouted. "Your daughter is out of control. She attacked my son!"

"Let's just calm down for a moment…" said Will

"Look at my son!" he exclaimed. "He's traumatised."

"I would hardly say traumatised" Alicia mocked, "Sir, you have to admit, you're exaggerating a bit"

"I'm exaggerating? You're daughter jumped on my son and punched him in the eye!"

"And your son pushed my daughter for no reason at all"

"You're daughter?" the man said in disbelief, looking at Zahara as if he could easily mistake her as a foreigner on his own land.

"Don't fool me. She looks nothing like you."

A sense of rage like she had never known before writhed through her body and boiled in her veins. She removed her dark sunglasses, took off her hat and snatched the heavy scarf around her neck, revealing her face.

The man and his wife changed instantaneously, his throat suddenly burning and her eyes the size of the sun.

"Excuse me?" she shouted

"Okay, okay.. I'm sure it was a mistake" Will reasoned, his voice soft as he touched her forearm. "Why don't you take the girls inside Alicia?"

 _Racist pig. Racist pig. Racist pig._ The words replayed in her mind, and if Macey and Zahara weren't so close, she would have said it out loud, maybe even attacked him herself.

"Come on sweetheart" she grabbed Macey's hand and began to make her way for the resort.

"You're a bad person!" Macey yelled out to them as she clutched onto her hand. She looked up at Alicia, and though she was raging with fury, Alicia hid it with a smile. Once they were inside, down to her knees, she took Macey into her arms.

"Do I have to say sorry?" she whispered once Alicia pulled away.

"No. I don't want you to."

"That boy was not being very nice"

"I know." She murmured. "And I know what he did that made you push him over"

Macey looked over at Zahara who was cocooned in Alicia's chest. She could probably feel Alicia's anger bubbling in her body, and that's why she pressed herself closer, somewhat familiar with seeing her mother upset.

"Daddy said I have to apollize"

"Apologize" Alicia corrected, "And no, but there is something you can do, for me?"

"What?"

"Cuddles?

Macey's laughter echoed the room as she scrambled into her arms, nuzzling herself closer into Zahara and smiling as if the event that took place outside had never happened. Zahara reached up and pressed a kiss against Alicia's jaw, and then scrambled out of her arms. The two of them raced for the toys in the corner of the room, Macey jumping on the cushions and Zahara imitating her.

Alicia remained in her kneeling position, watching them with exquisite intensity. She would remember this picture, this moment, just the two of them, in their own safe little world, away from horrible little boys and mean bullies.

She hadn't heard Will come in until she spotted his figure walking past, too absorbed in the image of two happy little girls, she stood up and sat on the couch, undoing her jacket and sighing slowly. He placed a cup of hot coffee on the table and sat next to her, watching her from a far.

"You okay?"

"Did you kill him?"

"I said a few words, and maybe even lectured him on his son's behaviour. He said he was willing to come over and apologize.. He didn't recognize you until you revealed your face Alicia"

"I wanna go back to the house." She said, suddenly. "I don't want to see him or his kids at all."

Will sighed gradually, he hadn't seen her enflamed with so much anger since he first broke her heart. He didn't say anything after that, he packed the girl's small belongings, made sure her coffee could be shifted into a mug, and he informed Steve on their plans for the rest of the day. She sat in the passenger's seat this time, a rare luxury since her agents never allowed her to practice such hazards. The car was loosely quiet as they made their way for the road, aside from Zahara and Macey following middle conversation. Will talked with them, as if he were a little child himself. She could listen to him all day, watch him, smile at him, love him, like this.

She found herself closing off once they reached the mountain, watching as the resorts and spacious homes hovered by, listening to the gravel under the car react to stiff tires. By the time they reached the house, Zahara and Macey had grown quiet, ready for their mid afternoon nap. Will agreed that he would take them, she was too exhausted to see herself cuddle with two already content little girls.

Steve said nothing when she made her way up the stair case, lonely and isolated as he had ever seen her before. "I'll talk with her" Will murmured.

"Is she angry at the man for pointing out the obvious, or is she angry at the boy for pushing Zahara?"

"She's angry because that man looked at Zahara as if she didn't belong in his country. And yes, she's mad at the boy"

"So Macey tried to choke him?"

'Choke' and 'Macey' sounded so hilarious to him. He had never seen his daughter as a vicious monster before, to him, she would always be his sweet little girl who preferred princesses over baseball, no matter how hard he tried to raise her for the latter.

"Yea. She's.. got a temper" he laughed.

He gave Zahara her bottle and Macey her cup of heated milk. They fell silent on the couch, their sleepy eyes watching the tv with little interest. Once he knew they were asleep, he made his way for the second floor and found Alicia in the bedroom. She had removed her jacket and shoes, wrapped in one of his hoodies and a pair of track pants, she gestured for him to lock the door and patted the bed.

"You wanna talk?" he asked

"No" she sat on her knees and waited for him to approach. When he reached the bed, she pulled him down, held onto him by his collar and kissed him passionately, holding onto his face with tight force and clinging onto him for her life.

"Alicia" he mumbled in between kisses, allowing her to wrap her legs around his lap. _What has gotten into you lately?_ He wondered silently.

"Hmm" she murmured in response.

"I think" – "we" – "should" – "maybe tal" – "maybe talk about" – "before"

"I don't wanna talk." She answered keenly. Pulling her lips apart, she rested her forehead against his own and bumped noses with his. "Let's make love." She murmured

"It's three a clock in the afternoon"

"That's never stopped us before"

He looked up and into her eyes, seeing the vast reaches of her soul still spread with fierce love and hopeless devotion, though he couldn't dismiss the sadness that reflected from earlier on in the day. Will ran his hands along her body until he reached her face, he cupped her chin gently in one hand and tilted her face for his kiss.

He did what did best and loved her, kissed her, pleasured her, held her, made her.

He loved listening to her moans when he tasted her, he loved feeling her hands grip onto his hair, he loved seeing her back arch and body twist at the pain and pleasure of his touch. When he entered her, he watched as the anger and frustration and whatever went on in her mind before, began to slip away. She was his; there with him, just the two of them in their own realm of pleasure. Will could've been in the middle of the Antarctic Ocean and he wouldn't have so much as cared for his worries, too absorbed in the moment, too absorbed with being one with her.

Alicia wrapped her legs tighter around his waist and held onto his back, her nails digging into his skin and her moans developing into slow whimpers. She whispered "I love you. I love you. I love you Will." continuously in his ear and he continued to drive against her pace.

Everything he wanted, he thought, was here with him, more than he could possibly fathom, making one of the most wonderful qualities of life become so real, rough and urgent and slow and deep.

She used and exploited his body. In a necessary sense, she owned him. Did she know? Could she know? to want like this, to be wanted like this, surely, she knew as much as he did when it came to love, or when it came to loving each other. But did she know how much he really loved her?

The bruises and the fighting and all the staring probably proved enough, nonetheless, he didn't care if she didn't.

The point was, that he knew, he knew that they had a real chance now, and despite the difficulties, he would rather walk off this earth than see her walk away again.

The southerly winds howling outside outstripped her screams. It wasn't long after her second climax that he followed her, his fast pace, boyish charm, soft tenderness, and fatigue falling damp on the embers of her own orgasm.

She held onto him for several more seconds, until her legs fell apart and he began to regain his breathing.

He pulled her into his arms when he rolled onto his back and covered the first half of her exquisite body with the sheet.

She coaxed his wrist into meeting hers and entwined his fingers with her own, kissing his knuckles briefly before nuzzling into his chest.

"You feel better now?" Will asked, a teasing light in his eye.

"Better now that you're not holding back" she laughed, kissing his lips for a short second.

"Well, I can't break your bones can I?" he returned the teasing atmosphere. "I'd probably be murdered if that happened"

"I don't want to think of you getting murdered" she shook her head and swallowed, as if the mere thought made her sick. "But I'm glad that you're back. I was beginning to think I might have to replace you, after those stupid bruises and everything, I was beginning to rethink our plan."

He laughed quietly, the loose threat couldn't be anymore false if he knew her correctly. He had her wrapped around him in bed, with his daughter and their future life probably playing in her mind. He had a pretty great chance of being irreplaceable. And naturally, his ego was open to growing even bigger at this point. Will smiled. And pulled her closer.

He listened as their conversation grew silent, and the only kind of voice that could be heard was her healthy breathing. He watched as she observed the view outside the window. The snowy mountain sluggishly melting, and spring a few weeks away. The scene was idyllic, – birds singing, trees nodding in the light breeze, the big Montana sky sweeping blue and cloudless and eternal overhead.

When he looked back at her face, she was still gazing, the view had taken her away from him again, rare and annoying, nevertheless true. He did what he often did in these moments and took in her facial structure, her eyebrows, dark like slashes above those bottomless hazel-green eyes, strong mouth and jaw, smooth skin, free and sweet.

"Alicia" he murmured

"hmm?" she looked up at him.

"I love you" he couldn't control himself any longer. He only ever said it on special occasions, he wasn't an expressive man, or the sensitive type to get on one knee and spontaneously burst with a song. His thoughts had always struggled to apply themselves to words. She knew this, and it didn't seem to bother or surprise her in any way.

"I know" she replied, as if he said it to her every day, which he never did.

She stretched her body and then sat up, exposing her unspoiled back, patterns of well-toned muscles travelled around and through her spine. She reached over and grabbed his shirt, tossing it over her head, it slid down her body perfectly. He would never tire from the sight of seeing her so exposed and so real.

"When I adopted Zahara, I wasn't sure what I was doing" she started, folding her legs and looking outside. "All I knew was that I had this child that I was hopelessly obsessed with. From her small laugh, to her endless crying, to her fascinating temper, to her exquisite eyes, her determination, her sweet innocence, her amazing stubbornness, her miraculous perseverance to stay alive, to trust me so easily, to even believe that I could be a good mother for her. I remember leaving that place with her tucked in my arm, thinking – what the hell had I gotten myself into" she chuckled, and wiped the free tear from her cheek.

"I brought her home, with a blanket wrapped over her so nobody could see. I snuck her into that house and I took her to Peter. Because I knew what his reaction would be, and I was right. We fought all night, he and I.. and maybe.. I don't know. Maybe I was hoping that he would suggest a divorce, or that Zahara was too much for him and he would move us to Canada and say that I was retiring to do humanitarian work. I was stupid really, because within a week, he was wrapped around her finger so fiercely that I feared I was going to lose her as well as our dream."

By then, Will had sat up to coax her back into his embrace, she rested her head on his chest and they lay back down.

"And within two weeks, everyone in the house was in love with her. So I thought, you know, maybe if three hundred employees could adore something so.. preciously different.. maybe the whole world could? Obviously, I was wrong, and that guy outside isn't the first to prove me wrong, but I just wish she didn't have to endure it, or that Macey didn't have to do what she did, no matter how endearingly funny it was"

"That was not funny" he pointed out. "I think I have to take her to like.. anger management classes for toddlers or something"

Alicia's loud laughter echoed the thick walls of their bedroom, she hid her face into his chest and shook her gloomy moment away with laughter. He was happy to put a smile back on her face, and pleased to know that she had just openly shared her feelings without him having to ask.

"The most amazing thing is that she doesn't even care, as if she beats little boys up on a regular basis. She just skipped off on the snow with you and Zahara like she hadn't just tried to attack somebody" Will said, clearly disorientated with the concept.

"I know. I just love her." Alicia said proudly.

Will looked down at her, clearly disappointed and slightly amused. "You have an odd sense of Parenting Cavanaugh"

"It seems to have worked out fine for me in the past" she teased,

"Aside from the fact that my children moved to another state without telling me, and Zach refuses to talk to his father, Grace only calls to talk to her little sister, oh and we shouldn't forget Zach's abortion, also, Grace's lost phonecalls over the past two days, she still hasn't told me that she was planning on leaving your firm.." she rambled on.

He placed his finger on her lips to silence her banter and said simply, "You're a wonderful mother, I don't care what you say."

"You never listen anyway" she poked, moving on top of him. "You're too protective"

"I have every right to be. I can't lose you again"

She placed her hands behind his head and planted a kiss against his lips. "And you won't. Because I'm not going anywhere."

"This week is going too fast" he sighed after a long quiet minute.

"I don't wanna say goodbye"

"It won't be for long"

"Maybe it will"

"No, it won't" he persisted. "Peter's first term ends soon.."

"In eight months"

"But you'll be back in Chicago before then."

"I will." She covered his lips with her own, enjoying the sensation of being on top of him. She cupped his chin with her hand and overtook his eyes with her own, "Promise me you'll call everyday" she murmured

"Every day. Forever."


	33. The Love

Thanks for all the lovely reviews! Sorry for my overdue absences lately, hectic busy life!

This is the last Montana chapter, I have to end this peaceful bubble and get them back to reality and some point :P

* * *

"I'm gonna go and start dinner"

Will's fleeting appearance behind the door failed at distracting her. She waved him off and returned to her laptop, the endless books that pooled her body drowned her in a sea of contentment. She folded her legs on the bed and sighed.

She waited another minute, and another, until the red light beeping on her screen warned her on the incoming call that she had been waiting for all day,

"Hey stranger!" she exclaimed.

The dark shadows under Brad's eyes had never been so sombre in her months of knowing him. He hadn't shaved since she last saw him, his hair was a mess and he looked as though he had lost weight.

"Brad?" she asked baffled.

"Hey!" he jumped, his dazzling smile blinding the screen.

"Are you okay?"

He looked at her confused, then clarity dawned in his features and he laughed. "I'm in my new role.. Homeless man" he explained. She recognized the hair and makeup trailer that sat in the background, but she wasn't convinced.

"You've been ignoring me" she declared,

"I've been a bit busy" he gestured around the trailer. "And as you can see, I'm actually hiding so that I can speak to you. How's your vacation?"

"Perfect" She smiled. "It's absolutely perfect, I haven't been this happy in a long time Brad."

"That's good."

"Listen.. we need to talk.."

"Just WAIT PLEASE!" Brad screamed at somebody outside his trailer. His frustrated face had never been as red as it was in that moment, not in her days of knowing him. Her nose coiled in disgust and she shook her head at his sudden outburst. He had always been respectful to those who worked at his side, it prompted her instant liking to him, however, with his sudden and almost terrifying outburst, she was beginning to wonder whether it was the same man.

"What the hell was that?"

"What?"

"Who did you just yell at?"

"One of the crew members. They want me to return to shooting. I need a fricken break."

"Maybe you should just return?"

"But I'm talking to you."

She shook her head, beyond frustrated at this point. "I'm going. Fix your attitude. I'll see you when I do." She exited out of his call and closed her laptop. She rested in thought and wondered about that bottle of whiskey in the background of his image, and whether he was drinking again. She had heard the number of rumours that consisted of him and his false addictions. She didn't breathe a word of it, for she believed him to be the most extraordinary human she had ever met. And he was, she knew this, though she was beginning to doubt some of it.

* * *

"WE'RE ENGAGED!" the 23 year old squealed through the phone. "Mom, he proposed. Carter proposed."

Even though she wasn't physically there to witness it herself, Alicia could almost hear her sobs, picturing her daughter as she looked down at her ring.

"Proposed" Alicia murmured, her lips trembling from shock and utter confusion.

"Yes! It was beautiful. We walked all over the city, and then he took me next to the harbor, you know that place that you used to take us when we were kids."

"The city gardens? That was your favorite place in the world"

"That was our favourite place" Grace corrected. "Anyway, he started rambling on and I couldn't understand a thing he was saying and then he just got on one knee and pulled out his grandmother's ring. Mom, you have to see it. It's beautiful"

"I'm so happy for you baby." Was the first thing she said, only because her role as the supportive mother seemed to be one that was screaming in her head, though, there were other things screaming in her head too.

She felt Will's hand touch her back gently, trying to soothe her sudden tenseness.

"Really?" Grace asked.

"Yeah. Does your father know?"

"I don't know. I wanted to tell you first. Are you gonna tell Will?"

"You want me to tell Will?" she looked into his eyes in that moment. He already knew, for Grace had practically screamed it for the whole of Montana to hear.

"Of course I do. He brought Carter and I together. Are you being nice to him? Are you coming back?"

"Right now I wish I wasn't" she mumbled, running a hand along her face. "I'm not telling your father Grace."

"Dad? Why are you so worried about him? Can't you just be happy for me?"

"I am happy for you.. did Carter talk to your dad?"

"I don't know! I guess so.. I mean, yeah I think so. He went to Baltimore last week for some work trip."

Alicia looked up at Will and asked with her eyes if it were true. Will slowly shook his head, as if to say there was no work trip.

"He must have gone to see Peter."

"Who cares if he didn't, dad would be happy for me either way. Carter's more worried about you than anyone else."

"Why?"

Will simply laughed to himself, she had absolutely no idea of her power over people, she looked at him curiously, wondering why he found it funny.

"To ask for permission I guess? But you've been in Montana and he couldn't get a hold of you without getting through me."

"So he just proposed to you anyway" mumbled Alicia

"Tell him that I'm happy for the both of you, but I expect to talk to him when I get back" she carried on.

"Of course.. I gotta go, but give Zahara a big kiss for me okay?"

"Okay. I love you."

"He's a good kid" Will murmured when she finally put the phone down. "I like him.. and I don't like most people. She's gonna be okay Alicia."

"I know"

"So you're not gonna have your guys go and rip him apart?"

"Not rip. Maybe just gently poke and prod around" she teased. "I hardly know the boy Will. I wanna make sure that I can breathe for the rest of my life."

"I understand." He pressed a gentle kiss against her forehead. "Just go easy on him." Will laughed as he walked away. Carter had absolutely no chance.

* * *

She watched with fascinated eyes as Will interacted with Zahara outside. Her daughter was an athlete in the making, with her new adolescent feet and arms, she could run and jump for hours, with or without Will's company.

She pulled herself away and her attention fell on Macey in the living room. She was kneeling on the carpet with a large white canvas printed at her feet and various paints swimming around her. She had her hair tied up into a tight pony tail and her eyes were dead focused on her painting. Alicia felt a pang of hopeless devotion just looking at her.

She had always wanted a daughter who shared the same appreciation for art and creativity. Grace had always been too idealistic with her views, painting the walls instead of paper. Zach had been the same, only his interests were vague and he only ever went along because he knew it would make his mother happy. It was too difficult to decide whether Zahara had any artistic interests, she seemed to have more fascination in the arena of sports, but that was fine, because Macey was more than enough for her.

Her heart went out to that child of his, and she continuously thought how ironic it was, this tendency of hers to mother nearly every kid she met, when her own were old enough to give her grandchildren. Was she always like this? She thought. Was the loving for Macey as fierce and ferocious as it was for her other three? Of course it was, and Zahara's adoption was certainly proof that DNA didn't matter. But why? Why did she care so much? Was it because she had never had the same level of affection from her own mother?

Alicia sunk back into her chair as she watched Macey from a far. Alicia was lucky as a child, fortunate and never ungrateful, her father had taught her love and respect, and her mother had taught her to laugh and forget. How could two totally different people have remained married for as long as they did? She could say the same about herself and Peter, she thought, but then she remembered that Peter hadn't fathered a child and kept it hidden for 40 odd years. Then again, one was never sure.

"Leesh look" Macey interrupted her thoughts. She pointed forward to her painting. Alicia got up and knealed next to her.

"That's me. And that's daddy, and that's you. And Hara" her chubby hand placed itself on the canvass. The large stick figure humans were colored in yellow paint with bright cheerful clothes and wide smiles. Alicia was wearing a baby blue dress, with pearls and red flats. Zahara was wearing a poke a dot dress with black and white patterns, and Will was painted in his suit.

"It's beautiful baby. You're so clever"

"Daddy said that I can give this one for you. You can put it on the wall when you miss me, that's what I do when I miss my people."

Alicia smiled happily, feeling completely empowered by love. "I will put it right next to my bed when I get home. This is the best painting I have ever received Mace."

"Really?" the child looked sceptical, as if she thought Alicia had seen better.

"Yes. Really. I love this more than anything. Thank you baby." She scooped her up and into her arms and kissed her. "I could eat you up right now"

Macey's loud giggles echoed the household, "Ew, no, you can't eat me Licia, I'm just a girl!"

"Are you saying that only boys are eatable?"

"Boys are yuk!"

Alicia laughed as she hugged her tightly. "I love you" she whispered softly. Macey remained quiet, picking at the fabric on her shirt and breathing slowly.

 _I will never leave you_. Alicia wanted to say, for Callie and Samantha and all the other goddamn woman that Will had brought into her life, she needed to remind his little girl that she was more than just a temporary friend.

"I love your daddy too" murmured Alicia, "But I know that he's _your_ daddy, and I'm not trying to take him away from you, but I also think you should know that I'm gonna be here for you, until you're big enough to take care of yourself."

"So you're not gonna go away?" she shifted her head and looked up at her.

"Not unless you stop painting for me." She smiled

"I like painting"

"I know you do. But it wouldn't matter to me if you didn't."

"Sammy paints too" she looked down at her feet, moving further into Alicia's chest. "But she wasn't very good. She couldn't paint in the lines"

"Do you miss Sammy?"

Macey nodded honestly, but then she shrugged her shoulders. "she and daddy used to yell heaps. Sammy played baseball with daddy's car"

"What does that mean?"

"Sammy got daddy's bat and hit the car. Aunt Aubrey said it was a game, but I think daddy was upset."

Alicia closed her eyes and silently crumbled inside. She wondered if Macey had seen the damage to Will's vehicle, or if she had heard their arguments, and if so, had she even understood the words flying out of their mouths. The mere idea made her fuel with anger toward no one in particular but herself. After all, this was all her doing.

"It's okay to miss Sammy princess."

"I only miss her when Daddy's not home. I don't like it when he goes work."

Alicia imagined what their life would look like in several months' time, and a prim smile spread across her face. Just thinking about it made her chest flutter. She and Will would be able to share more intimate nights together, Macey wouldn't have to spend so much time in the office anymore, Zahara would finally have a stable home, and Alicia would be able to correspond between Africa and her own home office.

"Aunt diane told me that she don't like Sammy, but you can't tell daddy, it's a secret" Macey continued

Alicia laughed quietly, trying to picture Diane having that kind of conversation with a two year old. Alicia got a sense that the older woman didn't like Samantha, that night at the White house when Diane had repeatedly dismissed Sam out of the conversation, as if she had no voice at all. Alicia wondered why. Was it Samantha's petty jealousy? Her outrageous cry for attention? Her tension with Will?

Alicia shrugged it away, she would ask her the next time they saw each other.

"Has daddy ever had a conversation about.. mommy's?" Alicia broached gently, hugging her from behind.

Macey nodded gradually, she murmured. "hhmm" as an answer.

"Every body at kindy has a mommy but not me."

Alicia kissed her cheek, and brushed her hair softly, she was silently praying that Macey wouldn't cry, otherwise she herself would burst into tears.

"He says my mommy was very sick, she doesn't want to see us cause we might get sick too."

"It's okay to feel sad about it"

"Do you miss Zach and Gracie?"

"Sometimes, but they're very big adults now, so I don't have to worry about them as much as I do for Zahara. Why is that?"

"Maybe if my mommy miss me than she might come back, like you did for Gracie"

Alicia wrapped her arms tighter around the small toddler, trying hard not to suffocate her.

"One day, she will come back sweetheart. Maybe not soon, but one day, she will." Alicia would find her, when she was well, and hopefully sane enough to meet her child.

"How you know?"

"Because you're cute and beautiful, and If I could steal you myself I would." She tickled the pit of her arms, gaining a few loud giggles. "This conversation can just be between us two okay?"

"A secret?"

"Yea. A secret."

"Okay."

* * *

Another night with Will under soft sheets sounded much more tempting than food at this point, but with her attention given to the girls for most of the night, and bath time taking a toll on her physically, she read Macey and Zahara a book and left them to sleep in the master bedroom. She would move them later on, when she found the energy to fight through another hour of consciousness – food was far from her mind.

"I'm way too old for this" she mumbled as she made her way into the kitchen.

Will just simply laughed from where he stood behind the bench. "Eat something." He demanded, pushing her hot plate across the counter.

"I have to admit, you're pretty amazing in the kitchen, but you're amazing in other departments too" she snuck up behind him and held onto him tightly.

"Where's Steve and the rest of them?"

"They're out on the porch having a couple of drinks."

"And you didn't want to join them?"

"I wanna make sure you eat your dinner."

"Well, since we have the house to ourselves, there's a spear bedroom upstairs that we haven't slept in yet.." she smiled slyly

She felt the vibration through his back when he laughed at her. "You're mad, you know that?"

"I'm just savouring the rest of this week before you and Mace have to leave."

The atmosphere went quiet, and she continued to hug him from behind, watching as he cleaned the bench.

"How about a bath instead?" he murmured.

"Sounds even better"

"Eat something first?"

She sighed loudly, and slumped her way toward the island. Will's pasta was impossible to refuse, but she only took a few bites before resting into her seat.

"When will I see you next?" he asked

"I have a few days off in a months' time. I could fly into Chicago and spend a couple of days with you?"

"A month?" the syllable was phrased like a statement rather than a question but she knew his feelings. With one spoonful of pasta in her mouth, she shifted to his side and placed her hand on his..

"You could think of it as four weekends away?"

"Because that makes it a whole lot easier" he laughed.

"Let's not think about it right now" she murmured, entwining her fingers with his, she pulled him for the stairs. "How about that bath?"

/

They bathed in her sweet lavender foam, cleansing their skins, talking, making love, and talking more, until he literally had to lift her before their skin grew old and silky. They dressed in the bathroom, and when they made their way into their bedroom, she was reminded that the girls had taken their bed for the night.

"It's gonna be impossible to move them without waking everyone up" Will said

"I guess they're sleeping with us tonight"

From across the room, Will looked at her with disapproval, "Macey's not very pleasant to sleep with"

"And so isn't Zahara, but we have the rest of our lives to sleep, we only have now with babies before they grow into monsters."

He couldn't imagine his two little girls as possible monsters in the near future, but Macey's temper was certainly a near possibility, and Zahara's unnatural athletic drive was never far away from exploding. He sighed loudly, and moved for the bed.

A dim lamp in the far corner of the room hung from the ceiling, leaving some light for Zahara who was still in the stages of her fear for darkness. He watched Alicia as she climbed in behind Macey, running a hand through her curls and then doing the same for Zahara. The youngest child would probably wake in the middle of the night and climb into her mother's arms, but for now, she was in his.

Will was beyond happy here, having never imagined two little girls nestled between them, he never knew he was one of the fortunate ones to have this kind of life, with her.

"Night" she murmured, looking over at him with her tired green eyes, and her warm smile.

She could feel it too, he knew. The mutual feeling of absolute joy that bounced off the walls in their bedroom. Hearing the crickets sing outside, and the girl's noses whisper content noises, he shifted under the covers and quietly watched as Alicia rested her head against the pillow. With one arm wrapped around his daughter, she quickly fell asleep.


	34. The Alcoholic

Alicia dropped Zahara's bags on her bed and pulled off her jacket. Rubbing her temples slowly, she placed her hand against her chest and closed her eyes briefly.

Will's lingering cologne remained closed around her skin like a good smell. It had only been a few hours since he had kissed her goodbye, and it almost felt as though he had taken the entire half of her soul with him too. She no longer felt whole, it was emptiness without weightlessness. She knew this would happen, after seven whole days spent with him in heaven, falling from cloud nine and landing on a hard rock was bound to hurt.

"Mommy said you had heaps on fun" echoed Peter's voice from outside the bedroom. Alicia smiled, happy that Zahara had him in her life, happy that he could still be a great father despite their separation.

She walked back out, her heals breaking against the floor. She use to enjoy the indulgence of living in this house, the maintenance of it, the cooked meals and constant service, though, she was beyond glad to be free of it. To be able to leave the gates without fear of having to ever come back.

When they had moved in, she had reconditioned their wing of the house and remodelled it into something that could be discerned from the previous century. It was healing for her last stages of her depression, and put her mind off other things. It was Eli's suggestion, though Peter laid claim to it plenty of times to imply that it was his.

She tucked her hands into the back pockets of her jeans as she strode toward the living room. Venessa sat on the arm chair of the big sofa, looking down at Peter and Zahara. She looked up at Alicia just then, and the two of them smiled kindly at one another.

"Did you have a good break?" asked Peter

"It was lovely, exactly what I needed."

"That's good."

"Yea" she glanced between him and Venessa, it was strange knowing that the three of them felt completely content to be around one another. She wondered if it would be the same with Will. Though Peter and Will in the same room had never been a pleasant time, she didn't know why she thought it could be now.

"Have you spoken to Eli yet?" Peter asked

"Not yet, why?"

"He has some stuff to show you"

"I'll see him on my way down." She bent down and opened her arms for Zahara. "Mommy's gonna go now"

"Come back?" she asked.

"In two days. You stay with Daddy"

"We're making cupcakes tonight" Venessa told her

"See? You're gonna have so much fun"

Zahara looked sceptical at first, but then curled into Alicia's chest and kissed her jaw before running off into the kitchen.

"She used to kick and scream when you had to drop her off" Peter mused

"That's because you've bribed her of sugar"

"I have not!" he feigned playful shock

She laughed, "I'll see you guys later. Look after her."

/

Eli sat calmly behind his desk, signing copies and returning calls. He spotted her in the distance, she smiled at a few of their past secretaries, making easy conversation on the way before she sent him a quick wave and a delighted smile. He hadn't seen her look so stunning in years.

 _Thank god for Will Gardner_.

"Hey slacker!" she exclaimed as she sat in his chair and folded her legs, the crisp line of her expensive navy jeans fitting well with her white blouse.

"You seem cheerful"

"I am cheerful. It's a beautiful day outside isn't?"

"It's raining Alicia"

"No it isn't, spring is approaching, and soon enough the flowers in the yard will be ready to bloom for visitors"

Eli smirked, "I'm guessing Will Gardner's charm is still alive and well?"

"Correct" she only smiled, and watched him chuckle.

A pleasant silence grew around them.

"Are you sure that this is what you want?"

"Will?"

"Yes"

"I've never been so sure in my life."

"I'll do everything I can to keep him away from the tabloids, but you have to be careful"

"I know, I know" she rolled her eyes like a lectured teenager. "I get it dad" she mused. "No sex until I'm eighteen"

This time, Eli shook his head in mock disapproval. "It isn't funny"

"Then what's the problem?"

Eli slid an envelope across his desk, yellow, and thin like the other ones he had often given to her.

"What is it now? Brad? Somebody on the campaign?" She ripped it open. It was only one photo, though it meant more than its number.

"I thought you would have guessed by now"

"Because I'm just supposed to know this stuff?"

She threw the photo on his desk and folded her arms. "Is it one of yours?" she asked.

"It was sent in to us by an anonymous source"

"Really?"

"Yes"

She glanced back down at the image, and if it weren't for the context of the photo, she would have easily smiled. The girls had been put to sleep and Will had pulled the wine out of the cellar, inviting the agents to join them on the patio. Some parts of the photo were blurry, but it was still easy to recognize Alicia Florrick leaning in to press a kiss against her ex-lover's cheek.

"Will is innocent in all of this"

"Of course he is. He's the one who created this mess in the first place."

She glared at him instantly, her demeanour changing. "That's not fair"

"This photo is nothing to what could be if you weren't so careful."

"What do you want us to do Eli? Hide away in a tower? Move to the Amazon?"

"You're the one who wants to shield him from the public Alicia. I'm just doing my job." he shrugged lightly, as if he hadn't just ruined her beautiful day.

"Well, thanks for the heads up but I think I'll be okay for now." She stood up and gathered her belongings, striding toward the door, she heard Eli speak from behind his desk.

"Alicia"

"Yea?"

"I am happy for you, I'm only trying to protect you"

"I know, and I'm happy too."

* * *

The office was unusually quiet for a Monday evening. He made his way through the corridor with Macey on his hip, she was chewing on a piece of fruit, her tired eyes betraying her keen desire to play in the conference room.

Will peered into Diane's office, its complete emptiness reminded him that she was no longer a part of the firm. Retirement for her meant that she could spend more time with her husband, unfortunately, for him, it meant that he would have to find another partner to replace her.

He headed for the conference room where he knew everyone would be, as he walked in, Macey's was instantly the centre of attention. Diane came over, dressed in normal attire, she stretched her arms out for his daughter, ignoring him entirely

"Hey!" Grace exclaimed, her hand reaching up to high five Macey.

"Hey pretty girl" Cary glowed, "How was your holiday?"

"Fun!" Macey exclaimed loudly with her arms

"I heard you got sick?" Grace asked.

Macey looked down, as if the recollection made her squirm. Her temporary flu had everyone in the household concerned including Alicia, whom, even in her sleep, was anxious about Macey's unpredictable immune system.

"Only for a couple of days. You're fine now aren't you?"

Macey nodded, stretching her arm out to show Grace her recent boast. "I got a tattoo!"

Grace glanced at the printed sticker on her skin. A picture of a flower in bloom. _A Zaraha._

"Wow! It's so pretty. Can I have one?"

"Daddy, ask Leesh to get one for Gracie" she demanded, unknowingly slipping the name into a pile of awkward tension.

He shouldn't feel tense having to talk about Alicia in front of his colleagues. She was just a part of his life now than she was with her own family, she _was_ his family now, and if anyone of them had a problem with that, he was more than willing fight it.

"You can ask her when she calls tonight" he sat in the chair, leaning into it and folding his legs. The plane ride this morning was rough, but it was long and painless, which was all he wanted in his last moments with Alicia and Zahara.

Grace took her seat and placed her hand on the table, he spotted the engagement ring on her left hand. He smiled consciously, remembering Alicia's uncharted reaction.

"Mom told me about Mace and the little boy with his parents" Grace broached. "Was Zahara fine?" her features were crammed with concern, born from naturally being the child's older sister.

"She was fine. I don't think she really understood what was going on. It was Macey and your mother that I was concerned about. Macey basically tried to murder the boy whilst your mom practically cheered her on. It was rather amusing."

"No way" she covered her face, trying to stifle a laugh. "I wish I had been there to record it."

"Steve, or one of the guys probably has some kind of footage" he mused. "I have to do something about Macey's temper"

"She would be awesome at martial arts" Grace poked, almost seriously

"Maybe then, mom wouldn't need so much bodyguards anymore"

Will chuckled. Then again, he thought, maybe it was possible that they all practice in some kind of defence training.

"So I take it was a pleasant trip?" Diane asked from where she stood holding Macey.

"It was truly hilarious"

"How did Alicia take the engagement?" Cary asked, as if he knew Alicia's true feelings about the whole situation. Cary and Carter were close, Carter was some distant relative that used to spend summers with Cary's family when they were little. It was oddly amusing to see Cary's desire in taking the piss out of his cousin.

Grace looked over at Will, her brows nit with turmoil. "The proposal?" he tried to play dumb.

"No, Einstein. The wedding in Vegas. Yes the proposal"

Will glanced down at the table, trying to find a way to recount the memory without adding the entire truth.

"She was happy for you" was all he said.

"I know that" she reproached "But how did she feel, afterward?"

The last thing Will wanted to do was kill Grace's feelings, but since they were among their closest colleagues, who were more or less, considered as his family, and therefore Grace's adopted family, he told himself to be somewhat honest.

"I think she probably would have like to have spoken to Carter first, and your father."

Grace rolled her eyes at the last part of his sentence while Cary drove a fist in the air. "If only Carter were here right now" he chastised, ignoring the glare that Grace aimed in his direction. "I would love to see his face."

"Okay that's enough" Grace said loudly, tucking her hair behind her ear and straightening her suit. "Let's get back to work."

Despite the struggling silence in the room, Will wasn't afraid to be the first one to laugh.

* * *

As she sat in the back of the unfamiliar Hilux, she scrolled through her messages, replying to her campaign emails and pending arrangements for the month. He heart almost jerked as a message from Will appeared on her screen.

 _"_ _Thinking about you, always."_

She smiled to herself, blissful and sweet.

"We can go now" Steve said, hopping into the passenger's seat.

"Good" she answered, looking out into the back yard of the large memorable home. "I need to see Brad asap."

They arrived to the house, Brad rented a small villa out in the countryside. She gave the men some time to inspect the house, and when they were finished, they nodded, and she asked Steve if they would wait outside. He looked sceptical at first, she was sure he was going to object, but then he simply nodded and returned to the car.

She made her way inside the house, closing the door and removing her scarf. "Brad?" she called out.

Silence vaporized the house, along with the distinct smell of alcohol. She balled her hands into fists, hoping that her suspicions weren't at all true.

She found him slumped over the kitchen table, his hand in his hair as he tried to regain control over his unrecognizable state.

"You idiot" she murmured. She took the bottle of whiskey from his hand and drained it into the sink, doing the same with the bottle of vodka that sat on the bench. "Get up and get your ass into the shower, you stink" she demanded, pushing his head.

"I hate her" was all he said. "She – she's ruined my life" he slurred.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"That bitch.. She – she's taking them away"

She could only guess by the look in his eye that he was talking of his ex-wife. She sighed, sitting on the chair. "What happened?"

"Engaged" he muttered. "She got engaged to that asshole and now.. they're moving halfway across the country"

"For the record"-

"What?"

"You divorced 2 years ago"

He slammed his hands on the table, she jolted slightly, and watched as he stood up and paced the room.

"I know that! But she – she has – has soul custody. I can't lose my.. them."

"Brad sit down"

"NO! This is all your fault!" he stood up and moved to the kitchen, putting distance between them.

"My fault? How is this my fault? You're completely smashed. I thought you were better than this" she stood to grab her coat, but she caught him grab another bottle. Alicia dropped her belongings, marched over to where he stood and grabbed the bottle, smashing it against the sink as if it were her enemy instead of his.

"What is wrong with you!" she yelled "Look at yourself."

The sting of his sharp hand against her cheek and the sound made from its abrupt action sent her falling to the ground. She covered her cheek with her hand, seemingly stunned and almost dazed. Her small body was too fragile to handle such a strong hit, but the red mark on her face was the last thing she thought about.

She looked up at him, shocked and livid. His mouth separated from its fin line into an unfamiliar frown. He collapsed against the wall, he slid down into his own puddle of rejection, murmuring "I'm sorry" as he shook his head and squinted his eyes to rid the drumming in his head.

"Alicia" he murmured. "I'm sorry… please.. just go.. before I do anything else to you.."

"You hit me" she whispered, still staggered to even believe it herself.

"I know.. I know.. god, I'm sorry. Please… please don't hate me. Just.. just go"

He refused to look at her, his head nestled between his knees. She got up to her feet, she wasn't sure where the courage to stay resided, but she climbed over him, grabbing every spear bottle of alcohol in vicinity and tipping it down the drain, once she was done, she looked over at him, chest thrusting hard with adrenaline. "I'm done. We're getting you help Brad."

* * *

AHHHH! I'm sorry for potentially ruining your day with this update, but really, I couldn't leave you all to think that Brad was prince charming could I? I am deeply sorry for the long disappearance, Admittedly I've lost my muse for this show but I made a vow to finish this story so if there is anyone still reading, thank you for your fierce loyalty. More updates to come I promise!


	35. The Addict

I promised an update didn't I? xx

* * *

"How much alcohol has he consumed?" the paramedic asked

"I don't know. When I arrived he was already intoxicated"

"Did he seem dehydrated at all? Sickly?"

"He smelt of vomit, and the whiskey was strong, I could smell it from the doorway"

"His blood pressure is above 160, and his heart rate is 110. Is that normal for him?"

"No. Not at all. He's the most fit person I know"

"Right, well, we have to get him to the hospital right away. He needs fluids and a scan."

"He needs to go to rehab"

"NO!" she heard Brad yell from inside the vehicle.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, "I've spoken to his sister on the phone. She says a facility in Malibu is waiting for him"

"I'm not.. not going back there!"

"You don't have a choice! You have officially screwed yourself over for good!" she yelled.

"Okay Mrs Florrick," the medic shook his head, clearly tired of all the yelling. "I'm gonna need his medical records, do you think you could make a phone call to his doctor?"

She nodded. "I'll look into it right away."

* * *

He had waited for her to call, she had responded to his first message of the day, but so far that was fourteen hours ago, and he felt a little isolated at her regular silence in the last few days.

Will wasn't a sentimental man, at least he didn't think he was, until Alicia came into his life, and if twenty five years of knowing her had taught him anything, it was that she was the most confusing woman on planet on earth.

"Macey" he called his daughter from the kitchen. "Your breakfast is getting cold"

She stomped her way into the kitchen, her doll hanging from the edges of her palm, ready to be dropped or forgotten. She crawled onto her seat, took a look at the cup of oats, and rolled her nose in disgust.

"I not hungy"

"Come on young lady. I know you're starving. Eat up"

"Can I have some berries too daddy?"

He grabbed the container from the fridge and placed it on the table for her to pick, he would have done it himself, but he was still struggling to find his shoe. "I'm sorry honey, daddy's in a rush this morning.."

"It's okay" she said, standing on her chair and trying very hard to look as though she could poor her own milk. He watched her with an intoxicated grin on his lips, her self-taught desire to be independent made him proud as a father, despite her obvious spill on the table cloth. Once she was done, she sat back in her chair, flicked a tablespoon in her muesli and watched with clear eyes as a splash of milk split in the air.

"Oopsy" she giggled.

The phone pierced a striking sound in the still kitchen, interrupting their morning banter. He placed his coffee down and took it without looking at the screen.

"Yea?"

"Yea?" she smiled

"Oh… hey"

"Hey"

She clearly was not pleased with his less enthusiastic response to her morning phone call. He heard Alicia sigh from across the line after his stretched silence.

"I'm sorry for ignoring your calls and messages… and emails."

"You're on speaker," he warned, looking back at Macey as she ate through her breakfast.

"Are you at work?"

"No. Home"

"Oh well… Is Macey.."

"She's here"

"How is she?"

"Good. Happy. Grumpy. The usual"

"I miss her"

"She misses you too. She asked for you lastnight, she had a nightmare and she asked for you"

"God.. I just want to hug her"

"How is everything?"

"I'm in Miami.. It's nothing big, I just have to help Brad with something"

"Is he okay?"

"Yea… he he's fine. He just needs a friend right now"

"The last time we spoke you were in DC Alicia, and now you're telling me you're in Miami with your…. Doing whatever. What if something happened to you?"

"Am I still on speaker?"

"Yes" her question, born from the notion that she refused to ever argue with him whilst in Macey's presence, was like a ticking time bomb.

"Well then take me off"

He sighed. "I have to go"

"Wait! Can I talk to her?"

The desperate plea made him feel as awful as he should, Macey was his child, and by defence, was hers too, because she loved her too much for him to control at this point.

It was wrong to use Macey as a weak spot for Alicia, but he had a natural desire to protect something that was already broken, valuable enough to be repaired, but still broken, and he couldn't help but hold Alicia's distance against her.

He felt if he were to deny her, they would only be taking another hundred steps back into the wrong direction, despite her being the one who had taken the first few steps.

"I don't know.."

"Will. Please. It's been one day"

And it had been three days since she had taken the time to sit down and video call him. He hadn't seen her face in three days and he hated her for it.

"We knew this would get tough"

"Why are you ignoring me Alicia? And don't avoid the question"

"I want to talk! I want to talk! I want to talk!" Macey jumped from her seat, stretching her hand out for the phone.

Her gorgeous smile and rosy cheeks moved him around in seconds, he could maybe say no to Alicia but to his daughter it was almost impossible. He gave the phone to Macey, and moved against the bench.

"Hi leesh!" she exclaimed.

"Hey sweet girl!" Alicia's mood instantly lifted, enough for him to imagine her grinning so widely her cheekbones would hurt.

"Daddy said you had a nightmare"

"Not nice" Macey replied. "Hara?"

"Hara is with her daddy right now, but as soon as I get her we can call on the screen?"

"Promise?"

"I promise baby"

"miss you Leesh"

"I miss you more. A lot more. Have you been a good girl?"

"I always a good girl"

"That's right. Has daddy been nice?"

"Daddy give yuck breakfast" both he and Alicia laughed.

"Well, your daddy's never been the greatest breakfast maker, but that's okay, because I'm pretty good at it"

Will laughed and shook his head, restraining from rolling his eyes. "Hey Mace?"

"Yep?"

"I know daddy can hear me, so can you give him a big kiss from me please? Big like the sun, and a really warm hug." Macey putting the phone down, stretched her arms up for him smacked his cheek with a kiss. He picked the phone up and pressed it against his ear, still holding his daughter, he heard Alicia whisper "I love you" and somehow, he understood that she needed him a bit more than he needed her.

"Love you too."

* * *

"Everyone is going to wonder why you're sitting in a rehab facility with me" Brad said to her.

"Do you really think I care about what anyone thinks?"

"No" he smiled.

"I really don't know what to say Alicia"

"You can stop apologizing"

"But I can't"

"You said sorry, and then you begged me not to hate you. I'm here for you, I know how this goes, how it feels, and I know who you are. You're not an abusive person Brad, you just.. you know.. you have problems" she shrugged.

He laughed, "I have more than problems, I'm an alcoholic, and if I wasn't an alcoholic I'd be a drug addict"

"Why didn't you tell me about any of this? If I had known.."

"If you had known you wouldn't have considered inviting me on your campaign"

"That's not true" she sat down and looked physically upset. "You saved my life. That night in sudan, when the explosion hit, you covered me with your body and then you carried me everywhere. You didn't have to but you did. I will never forget that"

"I hit you"

"And I hit you right after"

"Yea" he laughed, "you bruised my eye and then told the medic that I walked into the door. I'm still getting used to this side of you"

She smiled, glad that they were back to some level of teasing, despite his regular and uncomfortable unease since the fight.

"Have you called Will?"

She ran a hand through her hair and closed her eyes, the sun that basked against her skin reminded her of Will, and she wished that Brad hadn't just put that image into her mind. "Not in a while. I don't want him to know that I'm in rehab with you, he's been through enough lately, with the distance and my snubbing his phonecalls, I think he could use a break"

"Are you gonna tell him? About the fight?"

"No, I like you, I don't wanna see you die." It took her a single glance in his direction to laugh again.

/

"Alicia" Brad called her name, he was only sitting next to her, but she felt as though they were miles apart. She was physically and emotionally exhausted, and the Miami heat was not fitting well with her mood either.

She put her book down and lifted her sunglasses up. "There's this rehab facility in Nashville.. It's not a celebrity one, but they have a really good policy, and I like the way they run things."

"What's wrong with this one?" she asked

Looking at the back of them toward the French doors of his private bedroom, he shook his head almost in disgust. "I don't feel normal here, they treat you like… like you're at a spa. I need to go somewhere else, somewhere more isolated, somewhere normal."

She blinked a few more times, then resigned back into her chair, the sweat beading on the curve of her back mashed to the fabric of her shirt like liquid slime, and she nodded immediately. "Can we leave as soon as possible?"

/

"I can only be here for a day. I have to get back to DC" Alicia told Brad as they were landing.

"Of course. Zahara?"

"Peter said he could have her for another weak, but six days is long enough, and I miss her terribly."

"You shouldn't have to spend so much time away from your kids" he looked down.

"You shouldn't either, but the faster we get you better, the faster you can see yours."

They were introduced to Anna, the manager of Brad's new home. She felt bad for having her agents search the property before allowing her to step foot on it, but the staff were accommodating. The facility was placed outside of the city, it was remote but not distant, enough for him to see fresh again. Brad asked if she would sit in his group therapy, she was sceptic at first, knowing that she would be exposed to different strangers, but she agreed anyway. He looked hopeful, Brad, the scared human being from two days ago had somehow disappeared. He belonged here and she knew it.

They were just about to begin their first group discussion when a woman walked in. Alicia naturally assumed that she was the psychiatrist by her attire. She wore long pants with a white blouse and dark woman's blazer, her blonde hair was tied into a tight ponytail and she wore glasses. Pouring her coffee, Alicia didn't have a chance to look at the woman's face until minutes later when she took her seat next to Brad.

"Morning all. I'm Anna, some of you know me, some of you don't, and that's okay, because by the end of the month I will either be your worst enemy or your best friend." They laughed. "We have been blessed with two special guests today. Brad, who will be staying with us for a few months, and Alicia Florrick of course, who is sitting in here as Brad's friend. It's a pleasure to have you here."

She thanked them as they clapped, the majority of the patients weren't as nice to her as the staff were, for good reasons she supposed.

The second person who spoke was the woman with the blonde hair. She looked strikingly familiar, the face was from another lifetime, her old lifetime, before presidential fundraisers, and even before Peter's gubernatorial race.

"Oh. My. God." She murmured under her breath, those familiar curls and soft nose, only seen in someone else.

"What?" whispered Brad

The woman spoke. "Hi everyone. I will be your advisor for the next six months, any problems you have, you can come to me. My name is Callie Simko, I am from Chicago. I'm a recovering drug and alcohol addict, I've been drug free for a year and half now, and I am here because I'm trying to get my life together before I move back home."

Alicia moved closer to Brad, her breath shaking as she whispered quietly. "I have to go now."


	36. The Firm

What were the odds. Out of all the places where Alicia could have collided with the mother of her lover's child, it was at a rehab facility.

Once the session had concluded, she stood up and rushed for the bathroom. She hauled herself into the stall and leaned over the toilet, she tried to control the weight of food that rushed north, but she found herself vomiting her breakfast from that day. Flashes of Callie's face and Macey's sweet smile and Will's voice rushed through her head, prompting an even worse sensation in her stomach. Shutting the toilet seat, she leaned forward and shook her head.

She didn't hear the bathroom door open until she heard heels meet the tiled floors. She wiped her mouth and stood up just in time for Callie to see her state.

"Are you okay?" Callie, the woman who until now, had only been a memory, appeared genuinely concerned.

Flushing the toilet, Alicia moved past her and rinsed her mouth. "I'm fine."

"Food poisoning?" she asked, handing her a paper towel.

Alicia looked at her through the mirror, and slowly nodded. "Yea, raw chicken" she lied.

"That sux. Here, have some gum"

"No thank you… I'll be okay."

"The last time I saw you, I think it's safe to say we were both feeling much better"

"That was a long time ago" Alicia commented in nostalgia.

"Five years"

Alicia looked down at the sink and sighed. She didn't feel comfortable being here, afraid that she could burst, or cry, or laugh just being in Callie's presence. The pure irony of it all felt so ridiculous, it hadn't been long since she had spoken with Macey on the phone and promised her a life that they could have once she moved to them. She wondered if stumbling into Callie was more than an accident.

"I have to go" Alicia stood up and moved for the door.

"Wait.. please"

"Callie"

"I know you're busy.. I know who you are. But I.. I was.. could we get coffee or something?"

Looking at her, Alicia had expected her to look so much worse than she was now. From Will's perspective of Callie – or his lack of perspective – Callie seemed like a horrible ghost that would always remain at a distance from her or Macey. But now, that reality was slowly falling, the woman who stood before her looked better than the picture Will had painted. A few lines and wrinkles had joined her complexion, along with the unusual scar on her arm, but as for that, Alicia felt as though she weren't looking at the horror show that Will had gifted her mind.

"Why?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Why do you want to get coffee?"

"Because I think it would be great to.. catch up?"

"I'll have to think about it"

"Sure." She watched as Callie moved for the door, stopping to glance back.

"Alicia. You look well"

She smiled with a mild light in her eye, "Thanks, you too."

/

"Maybe she's a stalker?" Brad commented

"What?"

They were sitting on the bench beside the lake, Brad was writing the last of his admission papers while she had just spelled hers and Callie's mutual history with Will.

"Her? No. I'm sure she has better things on her mind."

"Maybe she knows that you and Will are together.. Maybe she knows that you plan on adopting her child and marrying her ex."

"Nobody said anything about adoption?"

"Alicia, if the way you look and talk about Macey doesn't suggest a wedded family then I don't know what does"

"Do you really think that?"

"You love her don't you?"

"Of course, she's my.."

"She's your what?"

"I was just gonna say she's mine but then I realize that's not healthy" she chuckled

"To label something that's not yet labled?"

"You don't have to remind me that I live outside Will's circle."

"He doesn't live in your circle either"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm saying – maybe you should consider giving him what he wants"

"And what is that?" she raised her brow, smiling at his need to give advice

"You – obviously"

"I'm lost"

"I'm the reason you're here and not with your family."

"So you're blaming yourself for Will and I living two states apart?"

"I'm just saying, after I hit you that day"

"Brad.."

"Don't try and stick up for me. I can't live with myself knowing that you're here, unhappy, because you feel some loyal necessity to look out for me because I've done the same for you in the past. Go to him Alicia, and don't tell him about Callie, or tell him, but you deserve a happy ending."

/

It frustrated her that Brad was a good actor. He had control over her because he knew what to say and when to say it. Unlike herself, who couldn't even tell him what to do without being instructed to move back to Chicago.

"Okay Steve, I guess we'll be paying someone special a visit"

"I was hoping we would go home" he said, sternly. "Mrs. Florrick, we've been travelling too much this last week, it's not safe."

"It's just to Chicago."

"We have to go back home" he said decidedly. "Chiefs orders"

"Right, I've heard that one before.." she mumbled. "Okay, whatever, I need to get my daughter anyway, I miss her too much."

She said goodbye to Brad, leaving him with a basket of sweets to replace liquor, and a few laughs to last the week. She was hoping her good mood would reflect Steve and the men, because nothing was gonna stop her from seeing Will.

She walked into the west wing, waving at Peter's secretary as she made her way freely past her desk. "He's on the phone at the moment mam" she called out

"That's okay Michele, I won't be long."

Entering the office, she smiled at him and closed the door.

"Yep, I understand" he was saying. "I want this to work out, so as long as we can come to a fair agreement, Alicia will be fine with it"

She raised her brows at the mention of her name. Peter stood up and moved across the room, she slipped past his desk and sat in his chair, silently wondering when the last time a woman had sat here, probably never. She doubted the idea of Michele Obama enthusiastically keen to sit in this seat.

When Peter finished his call, he smirked at her position. "Comfortable?"

"Never better. Who was that?"

"Secret service"

"Oh no, what code did I break this time?"

"Relax, I talked to her."

"So can I go to Chicago?" she smiled brightly

"Depends on whether you will listen to your security detail"

"I listen to them!" she defended herself.

"You told Bryan that you thought he needed anger management classes"

"I don't particularly like Bryan, thank you for swapping him with Mike by the way, I really like this new guy"

He laughed, shaking his head. "You are unbelievable"

"That's why you married me"

"And that's why you're divorcing me" he teased back.

She rolled her eyes, standing up to take a look at the new photo frames on his shelf, there was one of Zahara, her face lit with an intense joy and ecstatic smile. "How's my baby girl?"

"She is draining everyone in this house"

"Oh?"

"Yea, you know, running around the field and chasing the birds" Alicia smiled warmly at the image.

She stood up, "I'm glad you had a good week, but I want her to myself now."

There was an odd look on Peter's face, and for a moment she thought he was about to object, until he moved toward her and gently raised his hand to touch her cheek. She realized he wasn't objecting about Zahara. He touched the light bruise on her cheek and scrunched his brows together.

"I had a bit of a fall" she lied. "Brad and I were.. playing football"

"Football?" he asked. "You hate football"

"We were just playing around with some kids" she felt awful for the lie, but she knew if she added the sense of charity then he would believe her.

"Oh okay" he stepped back, "Is there anything I should know?"

"Yea, Brad is in rehab. I understand that you're going to find out sometime so you should hear it from me. He needs some help with… well, alcohol addiction."

"Right" Peter sighed. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that"

Considering the unreasonableness of such awkward territory, she concluded with a nod and ran for the door to find her daughter.

"Alicia" Peter called out to her, "You can go to Chicago."

She smiled at him, one of her warm smiles that showed him how much she appreciated his tolerance. "Thank you, Peter."

/

"Momma wer we goin?" Zahara murmured in her shoulder

Alicia squeezed her way onto the plane, pulling the blonde wig off her shoulders and throwing it on the seat. The blonde hair was useless thought Alicia, but Steve would not have let her out of the state without wearing it.

"We're gonna surprise Will and Macey baby, you remember?"

Zahara raised her perfect delightful eyebrows, "Mace?"

"Yea that's right.. I know you miss her"

"Pretty momma" Zahara touched her natural hair with her chubby hands. Alicia was thankful that her daughter seemed to appreciate the long locks of brunette that Alicia owned and not the blonde wig that she often saw her mother wear.

"Not as pretty as you gorgeous girl" she tucked her into her seat, amazed at how familiar Zahara was at this part of travel and simultaneously guilty for it.

It was nearly ten pm when they landed in Chicago, smelling the fresh brisk air, she practically danced off the plane, her heart pumping with joy to be home again.

Steve had managed to make an agreement with her after she realized that Will was still in the office, Will's assistant who had left the office only fifteen minutes ago, probably headed home to sleep like normal human beings, told her over the phone that Mr Gardner was assisting on a very important case. Instantly, like the mother she was, Alicia wondered where Macey was in all of this, but the image paled when she realized that like Macey, her own child was eager to sleep.

"If he's not there, then we're leaving immediately" Steve told her, "Zahara can stay in the car for now. I'll come up with you, make sure you wear those sunglasses. If anybody finds out that you're in the city, then will be ambushed and.."

"Yes.. yes I know!" she rolled her eyes, impatiently waiting for her door to be unlocked. "Look after my baby" she told the men, glancing at Zahara as she slept soundly in her seat. "If she wakes, there's a bottle of water in her bag.."

Steve gently dragged her away from repeating her traditional speech on how to look after the-most wanted photographed baby in the country.

She smoothed out the fake blonde bangs on her forehead as she slipped her hand underneath Steve's one. They walked into the building as the newlywed couple that their roles possessed, she couldn't help but giggle as they entered the elevator. There was an excitement that never grew old when she was able to walk through halls without being noticed. The man standing next to Steve looked at them strangely, Steve was at least seven feet tall, a road size taller than Alicia, and she knew the man was currently measuring his height in comparison to hers.

"Basketball player?" the man asked.

"Excuse me?"

"No, let me guess again, you're in the military?"

Steve simply ignored the man, staring straight ahead. Alicia naturally felt guilty, hidden under those ginormous glasses of hers, but she was literally handcuffed at the mouth so she stayed quiet.

The man got off on the 8th floor, leaving the two of them alone again. "Is that a gun that I feel in your side?"

"Yeup."

She tried to shake the feeling off, knowing very well that it was for her own safety. Her heart dropped and pounced simultaneously as the elevator opened to a new and fully refurnished Lockhart Gardner offices. She smiled with pride as she saw Cary's name on the letterhead.

The place certainly looked different, not that she expected any less. Instead of having the reception desk to look at, a spiral staircase led upward to the conference room. The floor was spread out with various separate offices, all with glass walls and swipe cards for access. Will and Diane's office were no longer there, but replaced with a reception area that held that spectacular view she use to envy.

This must be the new twenty first century, thought Alicia, with a bitter and sad feeling in the bottom of her stomach. She had missed out on so much.

Darkness crowded the floor, with only a few lucky associates in their fine dimly lit offices and a large full moon to gawk at.

"You must be the man I spoke to on the phone" a woman said to Steve, "I'm Rachel, I understand you and your wife have a very important meeting with.." she looked at her ipad and furrowed her prim brows together, most likely confused… "Miss Cavanaugh?"

 _Grace._

Her breath caught in her throat. Steve knew her well.

The secretary explained that Grace was busy with the partners, so they offered to wait. As soon as she was gone, Alicia's legs were already approaching the spiral staircase, racing to find whoever it was she could wrap her arms around.

She looked into the new conference room and stopped to observe them. From afar, they looked so foreign to her, despite the easy relationship she had with each one, she felt like they were fields apart; in their own world. Will was talking to some associates, Cary was looking over notes with Grace, Kalinda was trying to negotiate with Will and Diane.. and Diane was there? This threw her off guard. She remembered Will mentioning that Diane had retired months ago but she still tended to visit even when she wasn't needed.

This part of the floor was isolated, they were the only ones to occupy the area, something that Alicia was extremely grateful for, otherwise her hidden role would not have been played so well without the aid of the night.

"Can I help you?" Zach's voice approached her from behind.

Before she could say anything, he spoke again. "I'm sorry mam but you're on the wrong floor, this area is for lawyers only"

She took a step forward, smiling and madly eager to remove the stupid false identity. "Zach it's me" she whispered softly.

The sound of her voice moved his ears, he looked at her once again, shocked and bewildered as his gaze tore into her face "Mom"

He was in her arms before he could even speak another word. "Are you okay?" he panicked. "Is everything alright"

"Fine, fine. I just thought it was time I come and see you all"

"But I thought.. I thought you were in Miami"

"I was. But I'm here now."

"You look different" he noticed. "You have a tan and.. are you eating?"

"Am I eating?" she smirked. "Of course I am. I should be asking you the same question, you're all muscle and no flesh." He helped her remove her coat so that she could breathe through all the air-conditioned heat. The smell was still novel, as though they had only furnished the floors a few hours ago. The release of her coat revealed her in her natural habitat. Fresh jeans, heels and a tight blouse. The only disguise that protected her was the wig, which was now useless to those who knew Alicia's body.

"You look like Victoria" Zach commented. "Only, you're taller, and the wig is really something mom! It looks... real."

"I missed you" She whispered.

"You too mom"

She knew Will was close when the air involuntarily and unwantedly caught in the bottom of her throat once again. The sound of his light footsteps could never cease to be erased from memory, or the unexpected and nervous sound of his heartbeat, which she could hear from where she stood, or maybe that was her own?

His steps slowed as he came closer, she turned lightly and smiled so easily, as if she wasn't in the midst of a stroke waiting for his reaction.

"Hey stranger" she murmured.

It was almost shocking to see Will in a suit again. For the most part of Montana he was either in jeans or nothing, but god she was trying her hardest not to think about that right now.

He continued toward her with slow steps, stomaching only half a meter of distance to remove her sunglasses. Any doubt that was seen in his features softened into something that she couldn't quite contain. Happiness? Love? Fear? Warmth?

The corner of Will's lips raised into a familiar grin and she couldn't help but laugh out loud. "You're blonde" was the first thing he said, a rich expression of pure dislike in his features. She was glad.

"It's a wig, don't get any ideas"

His grin grew even wider, she could feel the mutual urge to reach out and hold him, and if they weren't so exposed and so concealed, then she would probably be walking away with his arm in her own, but for now, she allowed her eyes to soak him in and shivered in happiness when her second child ran past Will and wrapped herself around Alicia.

"Mom" Grace whispered in her ear, still trying to grip onto the notion that Alicia was here "You're home."


	37. The Resolve

A/N: You know, your reviews, emails, and passionate hope never ceases to AMAZE me. Thank you!

/

* * *

"Sit in with us" Will whispered, squeezing her hand in his lap. Pointing to the conference room, she looked out into the hall and gaped slightly. They were sitting in the quiet of his homely office, Will had told the remaining associates on the floor to go home so that the rest of her men could crowd the area.

"We just have to go through a few more things before we call it a night. You could see what it's like to be a lawyer again" he looked so hopeful, so excited to have her in their old life again, she didn't feel it was fair to turn him down, but she didn't want to be a lawyer, nor did she want to welcome the old feeling again.

She shook her head gently, "I'm not up to it, sorry, I fear I may say something… embarrassing" she admitted, her worries clearly belonging to Zach and Grace. If having your mom dating your boss wasn't embarrassing enough, sitting through fifteen excruciating minutes of their daily colleagues gawk at her was simply wrong. "Mind if I check my emails on your laptop?"

"Of course you can, is everything alright?"

"Yes, just tired" she reached out to stroke the soft skin on his cheek.

"When's Macey gonna be here?" she whispered.

He laughed, "I knew you came here for a reason. I'm not good enough for you, am i right?"

"Don't be silly" she mused. "I can't help the fact that I love her more than you." She leaned forward and planted a brisk kiss against his lips.

"The nanny is dropping her off soon"

"Okay" she felt guilty for having his child be removed from bed just to see her, but at the same time she was giddy with excitement. "Go and finish off your work, I feel bad for intruding"

"And so you should. We were getting somewhere before you arrived." She rolled her eyes and watched as he walked out. His new office was much more secluded than his old one. The windows swore off the spoiled street lights from below, and a generous view of the Chicago horizon replaced the fear of being watched. Unless a flying reporter came close, she wouldn't be found here, it worried her how her life often came to this point; paranoia was the unwanted friend that followed her every step.

She sat down in his chair and logged into her email account, she opened the attachment that Brad had sent her. It was a picture of his progress at rehab, she immediately noticed Callie in the background and sighed.

No matter how hard she tried to suppress the reality; that woman's shadow refused to leave her alone.

Will's office chair was much more comfortable then her one at home, she liked the term 'home', and found the natural irony funny as she didn't even have one right now. Her office was somewhere between the white house, an unseen hotel suite in DC, and a few fields in Africa. Will's one was better than any of them, maybe it was the stress of his scent everywhere that attracted her to it.

She had managed to respond to the days emails, drop in a few letters, and hopefully satisfy the new builders in Ethiopia. Cary walked in, clearly ready and tired enough to be on his way home.

"You suit sitting here" he commented,

She smiled, "Don't get any ideas," yawning, she pressed back into the chair and crossed her arms, it was an unusual chilly night here in the city, and soon enough she would have to throw on that ugly big coat she was forced to wear.

"You belong here Alicia, this is where you have to be. You must come back." Cary said without a doubt, and with an absolute lack of consideration for her current job. She laughed,

"You know that's not an option"

"Why not?"

"Cary, my days in court are over, that is one thing I truly believe. I liked being a lawyer, but I love my job, I love the things I do. I don't see myself sitting here in eighteen months and looking over trials. I don't want to see myself doing that. I never want to be a lawyer again."

"So you'd rather travel the world and explore humanity?"

"A fair trade isn't?"

"I envy you" he glared half-heartedly, "but you can't blame a man for trying. There is a thing called a magnet for attraction, and you seem to be it" he laughed. "Imagine all the clients we would get!"

"So you just wanna use me for my status huh?"

"Damn right, but I beg to differ, you're welcome to stay away, far far away." He reminded her of the distance that she would have to share with her promising small colony.

"What's this all about status and far far away?" Will spoke up, declaring his presence. She stood up just in time to see that they had finally finished for the night, Grace and Zach weren't far away either.

"Cary and I were just reminiscing"

"About the old times" he reminded, "She used to be a great lawyer if I remember"

"Used to be?" both she and Will questioned simultaneously.

"I'm off" Cary waved out, she reached up to hug him tightly, not knowing when the next time would be.

"Take care okay?" he whispered in her ear. "Stay away from those terrorists Alicia." She nodded and watched as he walked away.

"Can I have you to myself now?" Will breathed, pulling her gently so he could feel the warmth of her body.

He pressed a gentle kiss on her cheek, "I miss you everyday"

"I'm here now"

"Come home with us, tonight"

"I can't" she whispered, her eyes cautious for anyone behind him, "But I need a favour, stay at my hotel suite tonight?"

"You know, when I brought the house two years ago, I brought it thinking of you, I would at least like to see you in it at some point" he mused

"I can't stay there tonight because the agents haven't had enough time to examine the property, it would be like going into a tunnel without a torch. I'm sorry"

"Does the Hotel suite have bubble baths?" he whispered

Flattening the fabric of his creased coat, she smiled "As much bubble bath's as you want."

"Hmm" he laughed, "tempting"

"Sorry to interrupt"

Alicia flinched away when his secretary interjected, walking toward his desk, Alicia folded her arms across her chest and smoothed out the false hairline on her forehead.

"Macey is downstairs with the nanny" she announced, her gaze resting closely on Alicia's back.

"Thanks Laurel, for everything. You can go home now." he waited for her to leave when he took Alicia's hand again.

"I thought you told all your associates to go home"

"Relax, she won't tell anybody"

"You say that now. But then in the morning yours and Macey's face will be plastered on every news station and it'll be just like before"

"Stop torturing your mind. I can't live knowing that this is the way you think. Macey is downstairs, should I go get her or leave her alone?"

Alicia couldn't help the huge smile that spread across her face, just picturing that little girl was enough to forget about her own paranoia for now. "What do you think?"

He disappeared quickly and she waited by the window. She didn't hear Diane approach until she knocked on the wall.

"Just me" she smiled. "I wanted to say hello before I leave"

"It's good to see you again" she smiled warmly.

"Like wise, though I would like to understand why you're really here"

"Sorry?"

Diane slowly walked in, her hands resting behind her back and her demeanour slightly reserved. "I know you have good intentions, with Will, and I understand your connection, but I have never seen him so involved before, so if you plan on hurting him.."

"If I plan on hurting him?"

"Not plan, but if so, it won't be fair to either of you." The hidden meaning behind her reserved approach didn't go unnoticed, If-you-break-his-heart-you'll-hurt-my-goddaughter, Diane could have said it without hesitation and it still wouldn't make a difference.

"Diane" she said gently, "I know your looking out for him, I appreciate that you'll always have his best interest, but I love Will, I've given everything over to live a life with him, and I don't plan on ruining that."

The tension was as thick as syrup in the room, but she refused to unlock eyesight with the older woman. Diane finally nodded, and offered a timid smile. "I'm glad you and Will are together, you both deserve to be happy."

"Thank you, and for everything. The divorce… I don't know if I could've handled a stranger.." she shrugged her shoulders, Diane was her protection against the mountain of concerns that plagued for divorcing the most famous man in the world. "so thank you."

"You're welcome" she smiled, genuinely, with a trace of hope for the future, whatever that was.

She heard Will's footsteps long before he reached the office, when he turned the corner she saw him holding Macey on his hip. The little girl was still in her nightware, wearing the slippers that Alicia had sent her a week ago.

"See? I told you she was here" Will placed her on the floor, and Alicia couldn't help the smile that spread across her face when Macey ran toward her.

Alicia picked her up easily with an ease found by her own child, hugging her tight when Macey wrapped her body around her.

Macey let out a giggle that pierced the quiet and made Alicia's entire being raise, that smile was the definition of happiness thought Alicia. It could have very well been the best thing in the world. She pulled back to take a look at her face, "Missed you"

"Miss you too Leesh" she patted her hair, Alicia had removed the not long ago, Macey dug her face into Alicia's shoulder.

"Daddy said wee gon stay with you tnight"

"That's right sweet pea. You must be tired huh?"

Macey shrugged her shoulders, "I'ma always tired."

Alicia laughed. "Zahara is here"

"I see her?" her little head popped up.

"Of course" murmured Alicia as she looked into Will's eyes. "Let's go home."

* * *

She pressed her lips against his for the last time before looking into his eyes. They suddenly laughed for no particular reason, consumed in bliss after an electrifying orgasm. He rubbed her hips with his hands and rested against the headboard, completely absorbed in her eyes.

"I miss doing that"

"You're telling me" she grinned.

"Longest three weeks of my life" he teased

"How are we going to manage this in the future? I mean, there are going to be times when I'll have to travel, possibly for months, what are we gonna do about us, when we can't even last three weeks?"

He smiled at her, trying to suppress a laugh. "It'll work out" was all he said, and she decided to let it go.

He looked down again before looking into her eyes. "I have to tell you something"

There was a thick and heavy kind of concern in his gaze, the loving smile was no longer there and she suddenly felt caged with doubt.

"What?" he asked when she pulled away and wrapped the sheet around her body.

"Nothing… just the last time you said that…" she shook her head. "What is it?"

He moved forward and pulled her close. "It's not anything bad, not yet anyway.. Macey's heart problem has come back. Just minor symptoms are showing in the scans"

"What symptoms?!"

"Fatigue, she's tired more than usual. Dizziness sometimes, she looks as though she may faint after lying down for too long, and she won't eat her food."

"Are you feeding her greens?"

"I'm feeding her everything, she's just not herself you know, she doesn't run around as much,"

Alicia felt sick for not having noticed it earlier, even though she had only spent an hour with her before the child fell asleep again. She was going to be this child's mother one day, she was hopelessly in love with her, how was she going to be a good parent if she couldn't even noticed her own daughter's health status?

"You're telling me this now?" she gawked.

"I didn't want to worry you. It's not as severe as before"

"What did the doctors say?"

"Her red blood cells are not functioning, she's surviving off half of the existing red blood cells in her body, which isn't foreign, but it's also not good for a toddler"

"So she has anemia?"

"Yes"

"What do we do?"

"Monitor her diet, monitor her heart rate, keep her active. If she has no red blood cells her heart won't be able to communicate with the rest of her body, she might end up needing a transplant in the future."

"That's the worst and last possible outcome for her. I know this, Grace was anaemic when she was four and she grew out of it.."

"But Grace wasn't born with a heart defect Alicia"

She sighed and pulled her hair back, "So what do you wanna do? Force her to live off red meat for the rest of her life? See a specialist every week?"

"No and no. Blood transfusion, she needs regular blood transfusions, it's what the doctor suggested"

"You really want to do that? Stick a needle into her arm every month?"

"It would begin as every three months" he clarified

"Will…" she stopped, unable to continue.

He rubbed her bare arms and kissed her forehead, "It'll be fine Alicia"

"She's only two"

"Nearly three" he argued

She looked at him like a parent scowling their child for acting immaturely, and then her eyes lingered a while with understanding. "If you think it'll be okay then I will try my best to think the same thing."

"You know your opinion matters right? It's the only opinion that I will ever care about."

She nodded and dropped her forehead so he could kiss it again. Now would be an appropriate time to tell him about her encounter with Callie, Alicia thought, but then his warm hands moved to her bare back, pulling her closer, and before she could even gather what number this round was, wrapped firmly into his embrace, she was holding his face in her hands, with her long legs straddling his hips once more, and Callie long forgotten.


	38. The House

Warning/ M rating somewhere.

/

* * *

A security clearance conducted by Steve and a few others from Washington opened Will's house as safe enough for her to stay in, for now until the mysterious murderers and fictionalised monsters could come after her.

His house was rather remote and isolated even for him, she found it surprising and all the more overwhelming. She had never been to Will's house before, this was the home he had practically raised his daughter in, this was the home he seemed to dream for the two of them, though she had a thrilling feeling that she may be forced to change some of his outdated interior style.

They pulled up into the front yard and immediately she understood the initial problem Steve had with the house. Will's neighbours lived too close to his property and there wasn't enough room for the agents to navigate, or protect her, it would be a nightmare in the future. She didn't care about her safety, but when it came to her children, she worried about the easy access of one of them getting taken or possibly run over. She shook the image away, wondering how her thoughts were so easily damaging.

The road was closer than she would have liked, but the backyard was ginormous, with a steel fence that stood as a barrier to the lake and a white boat sitting atop the floating waters, she would have thought herself to be in another one of those magazine shoots Eli forced her to do, if it weren't for the warm and real arms that wrapped around her from behind.

"Like it?"

She took his arm and forced him to lead her onto the patio and into the house. "Not bad."

Inside the house reminded her of his old apartment, spacious, homely and very Will. She had first overindulged with thoughts of endless lamps and creamy white sofas with large comfortable cushions, much like his office but with a pleasant aftershave of family. Instead, she was faced with expensive hard surfaces, dull colours and grey floors. Grey floors? She shook her head, clearly not pleased, and she wished he wouldn't laugh as if he knew she wasn't entirely fulfilled.

"You don't like it do you?" he said. She winced, failing to suppress her obvious pickiness.

"I love it Will, I just.. imagined different that's all, you know with a toddler and all" she shrugged "Having a sharp glass coffee table was the last on my mind."

"Macey's tough enough to handle it, despite the regular injuries and head infections, it's preparing her for the future." She gawked at him with disgust, trying very hard to ignore his teasing. She punched him in the chest and folded her arms.

She continued to walk through the house, he left her to seek out upstairs, there wasn't much to see anyway he thought, an extra two bathrooms with his and Macey's room. She returned with the same apprehensive look on her face, and he bit back a smile as he watched her body move freely amongst his house.

She was wearing a tight grey turtleneck dress with a tailored navy leather jacket to harmonise her casual style. She had taken her heels off in the living room, which he loved because it was like returning to one of his sweet old dreams from days when longing and loneliness grew seasonal, and she would always leave something behind in his apartment. He hoped to see those shoes there for a while.

"You look beautiful" he told her as he admired her walking toward him.

"You say that everyday"

"Because it's the truth"

"I like the house" she told him, he rested his hands on her hips as she stretched to rest hers on his shoulders.

"But?" he pressed.

"You know I love you more than anything right?" this approach was never a good sign, Will learned, and so he simply nodded, unable to hide the prideful smile in her words, no matter how many times she said, he still seemed spellbound by the words.

"This isn't our house" she simply said. "It's beautiful and perfect and warm, but that's the problem, it's too perfect and it's too you. I can't see myself here, I can't see the girls here either"

"Well… Macey's is already here, she's just asleep upstairs.."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Not literally dum head! Figuratively, It's not the house. It's not the one."

They had talked about _the one_ during their brief, juvenile affair and so she recognized from the reaction in his face that he understood her useless reasoning. The house that Will had brought was not the house that Alicia had shared a vision in creating, maybe he had been too idealistic with his thoughts two years ago, or maybe he was in too much of a hurry to buy, scared that if he didn't settle, he would end up in the city for the rest of his life. Either way, he wouldn't be surprised if both philosophies stood accurate.

Will was angry at himself for not finding the passion to be mad at her right now. She had just placed him in a very tiny hole with minimal space for him to decide their future. Sell the house to make her happy? Move Macey into another school? Move overseas? Become a house-husband? Learn how to bake? With each idea that sprung forth, Will began to recognize that maybe he was the one going mad after all.

As the minutes ticked by, and she began to recognize the months of joy she had just taken from him for living two happy years in this palace, Alicia's face engrossed itself with guilt.

"Don't. . ." he said, knowing the look of guilt and apology.

He continued. "You're right, you are. I want whatever you want Alicia, even if it means living in a tent for the rest of our lives."

"Perfect! A tent is exactly what I was talking about!" she mused, laughing her way across the room. She admired the family photos sitting on the mantel, just as he had when he first visited her wing in the White House. It wasn't that the house was too perfect, or it was too him, it was that this was _his_ house, despite his denial if she ever said it out loud, this was something he had picked on his own, shared with god knows how many woman, and paid for himself. She wanted something to share, a home, plus, regardless of her ache for less security, she understood that her kids needed the best protection.

"Are you sure Will?" she said, after a few minutes of inspecting the house.

"I want to see what you see in that head of yours, so whatever you want I'll love it nonetheless"

"I want these photos in the new house" she told him. "With new photographs too, of Zahara and Mace. I know a wonderful photographer, and I want one of us two, so I can finally claim you as my own."

"Really?" he laughed, entranced by her thoughts

She nodded, "There's all these photos of Mace in your office and not one of a woman, it probably temps the ladies hm?"

"And so what if it does?"

"Is that a yes?" her smile faded slightly

He pulled her by the waist and planted a kiss against her lips. "Honestly, I don't notice any of that anymore."

"Speaking of honesty," she prodded, her eyes suddenly mischievous. "You haven't introduced me properly to your bedroom"

"Scared it might change your mind?"

She chuckled and tugged him by the shirt, his lips were extra soft against her own. She moved her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, entwined in only the smell of his cologne and the warmth of his firm grip.

"The bedroom" she murmured

"Wait.." he pulled away, his head whipping to the door. She was momentarily confused as she followed his gaze.

"Did you hear something?" The sound of a car door shutting was the only noise she recognized.

"It's probably just one of the agents" said Alicia

"Shit…." His eyes dimmed with fear and he dashed backward, almost tripping over the sofa.

"Will, what is it?"

"My sister. . ."

"No" she said, hoping it would somehow ease the threat.

"Yes. Tonight is her night with Macey, I forgot to tell her…"

"Will!" a woman's voice hastened through the front door. She slammed it shut and carried some grocery bags through the hall, the sound of her keys jangled through each step she took. "Why in the world is there an army of men surrounding the house? They asked to see my I.D, would you believe.."

Alicia was prepared for the stranger to find the current first lady of US standing in her brother's living room. In the seconds she was given to formulate a plan, she had already changed her position into gentle posture, her hands were clasped together in front of her flat stomach, and she tried her best smile, knowing very well that it was a smile that looked painful.

The woman froze mid-air, noticing Alicia instantly, the bag of groceries fell straight to the ground.

"Will" she murmured after several silent seconds. "Why is she – the first lady of the United States standing in your house?"

Alicia looked at him, and he looked at her. It was the first time she had ever seen him so scared, Will was never scared of anything, he was Will. Filled with bravery, courage and a bit of arrogance, it always seemed as though nothing could get past him, except now his sister's presence proved different, and despite their current standing, Alicia felt glad to know that he was human after all.

She offered a timid but hopeful smile in his direction and stepped forward to offer her hand, silently letting him know that it was best they tell his family the truth this time.

He grasped her hand, drowned her heart with that warm smile of his, and looked back at his stunned sibling.

"This is my sister Sara, I believe you met briefly in college. Sara this is… this is Alicia, she is" Will was going to say _the love of my life_ but knew that was too cliché for him. Sara would probably choke on her own saliva and demand for who had brainwashed her brother.

"She's everything to me, so I hope you two get to know each other, because we will be spending a lot of time together from now on."

/

If it weren't for the presence of the children, the atmosphere in Will's household would have been vastly different, she suspected, because Sara made it appear as though she were acting nicely for Macey and Zahara's enchanting connection with one another. Alicia wondered what Sara would have been like if Macey and Zahara didn't get along.

Victoria had turned up on Will's doorstep too, _thank lord_ , and Alicia had a fitting idea that she and Sara would get along quite well.

That idea turned south when Sara, having just made another veiled remark about Alicia's presence and it's repercussions on the rest of their family, practically threw Victoria off acting civil.

She replied, as soft as Sara had so that the girls couldn't hear her. "I'm sure that if you were in her position, you would understand the type of struggle that she has to go through on a daily basis."

"Oh yes, it must be hard"

"Sara.." Will began, his voice smouldering with impatience.

"What on earth is your problem?" Victoria said defensively. Alicia sighed heavily and leaned against the chair, wishing that her sister wasn't at all like their father, then maybe her usual spurts of protectiveness over family wouldn't be so apparent, and Alicia would be able to fight her own battles.

"I have no problem with her, I just don't appreciate being lied to for the better half of my life" this time, she looked at Will.

"Like I said before, Alicia and I have only just started seeing each other. . ."

"That doesn't change the fact that you had an affair with her years ago, whilst she was still married and working at your firm! Have you forgotten the criticism our family was given when that all got out into the public?"

"That's history Sara – "

"History that is likely to repeat itself if you keep returning to this track!"

"You had an affair when you and Peter were together?" Victoria turned to Alicia, her expression full of shock.

"Peter and I were separated" she clarified, looking directly at his sister. "And for the record, and with total respect, what Will and I did in the past has absolutely nothing to do with you."

Her response threw Sara completely off guard, whilst Will reacted with a smile. "Nothing to do with me? He is my brother! You have no idea what went on during your husband's election, that tore my family apart! And I will not let you ruin my family name!"

"The last time I looked your brother was a full grown man!" Victoria argued again

Alicia remained silent once more and shook her head as the rest of the adults continued to argue. She spotted Zahara standing in the distance and got out of her seat fast enough to catch Will, Sara and Victoria's attention.

"Baby, has the movie finished already?" Alicia picked her up, the little girl's eyes tore away from Sara and Will and looked up at her mother.

"Macey go sleepy" she told her, a look of frustration in her face.

"This is the third time she's fallen asleep today Will" Alicia said worriedly. He rested against the chair and rubbed his temples in exhaustion.

"I'll have a look at her blood pressure," Victoria decided, standing up and breaking the tension. Alicia offered her a grateful smile and looked at the two still sitting at the table.

"If you want to, we can talk about this later, but right now I don't want to fight over something that's already decided. Will and I are together Sara, and I'm truly sorry for whatever burden that brings on you and the rest of your family. I really wish our first encounter wasn't like this, but If I can do anything to make it better, please, don't hesitate to ask."

"Momma" Zahara said, probably wishing she could understand what all the tension was about.

"Hmm?"

"You play with me?" Alicia could never resist those beautiful eyes, Alicia pressed a loving kiss to her cheek and nodded as she walked off with her arms tangled in her baby's. They sat down among the pool of tempting toys, she peering over at Victoria every few minutes to see if Macey showed any sign of colour.

"Momma tired" Zahara pointed out. Alicia laughed and reached out to stroke her chubby cheek. The only joy she had in her exhausted day was knowing that she still had Zahara to sleep with tonight.

/

"You handled that well, with Sara" Will slid up behind her at the kitchen counter, placing a reassuring kiss on her shoulder. Sara and Victoria had just left, leaving them alone again.

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or just lying"

"No one's ever stood up to my sister and put her in her place before. I knew you were courageous but I didn't think you were fearless."

"That just sounds so corny" she smiled

"You're way too humble to be dating me" he said, a teasing glint in his eye.

She laughed and quickly inhaled a breath as his tongue circled the hollow of her neck, he was in a mood today Alicia noticed. He was happy even despite his sister's tension, and even when Sara had tried to go for another argument, he didn't let it get in the way of his smiley mood.

She dried her hands and slowly turned around in his arms, his lips were warm when she met them, it was a familiar feeling, one that she would never ever tire of. She pulled him closer when she felt his hands grip her hips. She pulled away breathless and bit her lip unconsciously, "we should stop" she panted, looking behind his shoulder to make sure the girls were still in the living room.

"Yes" he laughed. It took the two of them two whole seconds before they were kissing again. She laughed loudly when he picked her up and pushed them into the laundry room.

Locking the door, he set her on top of the washing machine and helped her in removing her jacket. She reached for his face again, never wanting to part from his lips, and allowed her hand to trace his hard chest as their lips continued in a slow dance.

She gasped quietly as his hands travelled her thighs, lifting the dress she wore and struggling to get it off. When he did, and the dress slipped past her hair, he looked at her with so much love and wonder that it took her off guard. When would he ever stop staring at her in this way? She hoped for never.

She reached for his shirt and pulled it off his skin, her nails scraping the flesh of his toned breast. His kisses trailed down her neck and toward her abdomen, leaving a pattern of feverish kisses against her breast. He reached down and slipped two fingers into her panties, finding her completely ready for him, she moaned at the mild sensation of his touch and gently urged him to pull the silk thread from her waist. He did as he was told, and then looked at her with wild eyes and a horrible smirk.

He dropped down, pulled her thighs onto his shoulder and dipped his tongue into her opening. She couldn't control the loud moan that escaped from her lips, she covered her mouth with her hand to stifle another one, but it was eventually useless as Will continued to breach an uncontrollable fire from beneath her. He murmured something about her taste as good as an eager meal and that he could probably do this for days.

She wondered if he was going to torture her by trying, when she felt her ribs tighten and her legs squeeze tight. She clasped her eyes tightly until she started seeing white circles and finally came down from her high.

"Jesus. . . " she said, half laughing and half intoxicated by his proximity. "Will…. I don't.. " she panted, pulling him to grasp another kiss. He kissed her so passionately that it made her dizzy. She helped him with his buckle, tugging at his jeans and trying hard not to ruin anymore of his clothing, last night she had ripped his shirt apart, she almost laughed at the memory.

He entered her with one quick effort, stretching and shifting to reach her deepest angle. He pushed her hair back and kissed her jaw, taking in her hazy green eyes.

"You okay?" he murmured. She nodded dreamily, running her fingers softly through his untamed hair and closing her eyes to enjoy the feeling. His pace grew faster and faster with each steady thrust, and all he could think about was how much he would miss her, and miss this when she had to go.

/

Despite her obvious dislike for the situation, she knew that her agents wouldn't allow her to sleep at Will's house. Will's client had called him with a request to change his plea deal and Will was mess trying to change his mind, so naturally, Alicia suggested with hopeful eyes that she take Macey with her to their current hotel and spend a night without him. Macey stood holding Alicia's hand and jumping up and down, yelling "please daddy please!"

"But she has to go to the doctor's tomorrow morning" Will said, his cell phone in one hand and a large stack of files in the other. Cary was coming over.

"You have court tomorrow morning, I can take her. We're fine Will."

"Okay, but maybe I could come over later. . ."

"NO" she chuckled, "You clearly have a ton of missed calls to address and judging by the state of your desk, you have work. I've already taken you away for two days, I can't have you lose your job because you've still gotta buy me my dream house."

"Ahh, yes, the mysterious dream house I've never heard about" he mused. "And by the way, If I lose my job, about twenty thousand of my employees will also, so at least we won't be alone."

She rolled her eyes and jabbed his shoulder. "That's not something I want to think about. We gotta go now" She kissed his lips twice, whispered his favourite three words in his ear and took Macey's hand.

"Leesh?" She said as Alicia finished buckling her into her seat.

"Yes baby?"

"You are staying now? For a long time?"

Alicia's self-guilt was bigger than it had ever been before. She pressed a soft kiss against her forehead and forced herself to speak, "No. Not right now sweetheart."

The child was clever and bright enough to understand what she meant. They still had time, and her future was promising.

* * *

A/N: The next chapter is close to finished so I promise the wait won't be long, please let me know any thoughts :)


	39. The Party

Grace and Carter's engagement party was held at Victoria's house. The property was the only estate that the secret service would willingly allow the president to visit, so Victoria gave up her large house gladly, hopelessly looking forward to a night of promising excitement.

"Mom!" Grace's shrill voice echoed from downstairs. Alicia pictured her standing at the front door, the delivery boy looking at her with quizzical eyes, Grace was a vision in only a robe, still undecided on a dress, but her face coated of makeup. "The decorations have arrived"

"Can you have them moved to the back patio please?" she yelled from the kitchen. She heard Grace mumble something to the person at the door. Victoria's house had three floors, the first one was covered with walls of solid amber wood, holding a library and wide living area with an open door that led out to the patio and the big backyard. The second floor was the main family area, half the area had solid class walls that looked directly toward the backyard, the guest would be able to see the kitchen from outside, she didn't how she felt about that as most of her precious wine was sitting on the island. The third floor was mostly bedrooms and her sister's study.

Alicia hadn't cooked a proper meal in over 4 years, so the idea of catering to sixty guest was a terrifying reality. She had the help of her mother, whom in her old age, was not very good at all. Thankfully, Victoria hired a few reliable caterers and had most of the food ordered in, so all Alicia had to worry about was getting Grace to finally choose a dress and to help Will in bathing the girls.

With all two jobs done in less than an hour, Macey and Zahara ran through the property in their pyjamas, Grace and Carter couldn't be away from one another for more than ten minutes which Alicia found somewhat sickening, Zach had found solitary in ignoring the fact that his father would be here any minute, Cary had finished decorating the backyard lights, and Will had stolen Victoria, the two of them watching some replay of another baseball game while the caterers couldn't stop staring at Alicia.

"Reliable huh?" Alicia said, sitting across from Victoria. She looked back at them, and shrugged her shoulders.

"They're just fascinated. That's all."

She knew that once Peter arrived, all eyes would be on him, which was comforting to her. Her ex-husband had a way with people, he was much better at socializing than she would ever be, and she liked it that way. Tonight she wanted all the attention to be on Carter and Grace.

The first lot of guests began to show through the house, they were sent out into the backyard to find their tables. Alicia remained in the living room, looking at her emails that would not pause for rest. "This is ridiculous"

"The campaign?"

"Yes. My god, I don't even want to imagine what my phone looks like right now."

"What's happened?"

"There was another earthquake in Afghanistan, we were planning on going there next week, but now they think it's too dangerous."

"Isn't it your choice?" asked Zach

"It is. Which is why we're going, I'm not letting some damaged plates and a few rubble to destroy plans that were made six months ago."

"But it's dangerous, anything could happen to you." Victoria looked at her with eyes of disapproval.

"I've been to worse places. Afghanistan is paradise compared to some of the cities I've seen"

Will, Grace and Zach looked at her with a knowing and familiar sense of disappointment. Alicia chuckled, "Wherever I go, there seems to be a problem with you three."

"I'm going to tell dad that you're going to a landlocked country with only six agents" Grace threatened.

Alicia's inside pupils changed, she almost glared at her own daughter. "Grace. . ."

"I'm telling him and you can't stop me" she stood up and walked away.

Alicia sighed and stood on her heels, she walked in the opposite direction to greet the governor. "Would Peter really do anything?" Victoria asked with doubt. "I mean, it's Afghanistan?"

Will shrugged, "He could cut the whole trip off if he wanted to, yes. But it's the agents that Grace is using, the last thing Alicia wants is more big giants to follow her everywhere for three days. That's what Alicia is concerned about, she's too stubborn for her own good."

"Will he still have control over her security once they're officially divorced?"

Will was aware that Zach was sitting next to him, but he found it easier to talk honestly with him now that they had a fond relationship. "To an extent yes, but he will no longer be in charge of her agents. That job will have to go to one of the directors in the agency."

"How is it that you know this and we don't?" laughed Zach.

"Because your mom tells me stuff that is super confidential" he chuckled when Zach smiled amusingly.

He felt someone tug his jeans and looked down to see Zahara's arm stretched out for him to hold her. Her innocent green eyes pierced his soul with warmth like it did every time, and he picked her up, allowing her to wrap her small arms around his neck. Diane reached out to touch her back in a maternal gesture, ever since she was given Macey as a goddaughter, she seemed to like children nowadays.

"She's so adorable" Diane noticed, probably not for the first time.

He nodded, his own smile contagious as he agreed proudly. One would have to be mad not to fall in love with Zahara instantly. As a few other partners walked through the door, Diane stood up to meet them, "I'll deal with them" she said. Will was glad, for he wasn't in a mood to make small talk.

"Tired baby?" he murmured in her ear

She nodded against his shoulder. It was almost nine, her usual bedtime was well over an hour ago but Alicia wanted her up a little longer just so Peter could see her. He felt Alicia sneak up behind the sofa, she always managed to find them when in his thoughts, as if she could read his mind. Her arm dangled on his shoulder as she pressed kisses against Zahara's hair. "We should put them to bed hmm?"

Alicia was dressed in a stunning white halter dress, the expensive fabric clinging to her skin like her good scent. The dress ended a little above the knee and she had her wavy curls tied in a loose bun. She looked absolutely stunning, he thought, and if this attire was casual for her, he couldn't wait to see her on Grace's wedding day.

"Wait around with Zahara for Peter" he suggested, "And I'll take Macey up now. Don't worry about Zahara, she'll get plenty more sleep in the morning"

"Okay" she said and looked around for nosy eyes. They weren't allowed to show signs of affection in such an unreliable area, it was her rules, not his. But that was okay because he had her to himself for another two days, and he could force himself not to touch her or look at her or even talk to her for one whole night.

She watched him walk away with Macey on his shoulder, Macey was looking at her with a confused and sad expression, wondering why Alicia wasn't following them. Alicia blew a kiss to her and waved affectionately. Owen moved next to her, sipping his wine and staring at her strangely. "You're so done" was the first thing he said.

"Done?"

"With him and his daughter. You're gone. Like disappeared. Goodbye Alicia, hello future housewife, again" he mused. "You were like that with Zach and Grace. You're still like that with Zach and Grace."

"You're tipsy" she concluded "already"

"I'm happy for you" said he. "You're so happy, it shows, you're like, glowing. It's almost sickening really."

She spotted Peter's agents spreading through the house, a few dozen stood the edges of the backyard whilst the others kept a close eye inside the house. Grace ran up to him and hugged him tightly, it warmed Alicia's heart to see them together again. Surprisingly, Zach made his way over, Peter pulled him into a hug and Zach hugged him back, unable to hide that stubborn smile.

"Hold this" she gave Owen her wine glass, knowing that Peter seemed to disapprove of her drinking in public spaces.

She walked over in three strides, Zahara's warm arms resting around her neck "Hi" she smiled.

"Hey" his eyes lingered on her face, there was an odd expression in his gaze, it was small but she recognised it from spending two decades with the man. He knew something that she didn't want him to know. Grace must have already told him about Afghanistan.

His face lit up when Zahara reached up for him, he took her in one swift ride and spun her in the air. Her laughter echoed the whole house.

A woman moved from behind his two and half million bodyguards. "Vanessa?" she said, surprised.

The forty nine year old smiled warmly at her, "Hi Alicia"

Alicia walked up to her and hugged her, surprising herself and a few others. "I didn't know you were coming?"

"I invited her" Grace pitched in nervously. "I figured it was time she meets us all, we're gonna be a family now.." Grace paused. "You don't mind right mom?"

"Of course not" she answered genuinely. "I'm so happy you guys could make it. There's food everywhere, and wine on the tables, I know you can't drink" she looked at Peter. "But I'll have your glass" she smiled as he shook his head in disappointment. White house rules demanded that they never drink in public, they weren't even allowed to talk of alcohol, but seeing as this was _her_ sister's house, she decided it was about time she broke that rule. Just once.

"Finally, I get to meet my own sister's husband for 25 years" Victoria appeared behind her, her radiant smile calming Alicia's nerves. Alicia snatched a deep breath and wrapped an arm around her waist, she needed to balance on something and Victoria was her only support, quickly she choked out - "ex husband" – before introducing the two.

"Peter this is. . "

"Victoria. It's nice to meet you after all this time. Alicia never told me that you're her identical twin"

"I bet she told you to say that." She laughed, turning to Vanessa and gesturing a hand out, "You must be the head secretary, I think I spoke to you yesterday about my property, it's nice to meet you."

Alicia pinched her waist, causing a childish "ow" from her victim. "She doesn't work for Peter. This is Vanessa, you know.. the one that Zahara talks about . . " she bit her lip, hoping that her mind could calculate.

Victoria's eyes flashed with recognition and making the situation even more embarrassing, she stuttered and began to laugh. "I'm so sorry.. I.. " Alicia began to recognize that Victoria was faking it, her unfamiliar and false laugh suggested the real truth.

"It's okay" she smiled. "I get it all the time."

"You're really young looking for your age"

"Oh my god" Alicia closed her eyes in humiliation and interrupted quickly. "Okay, will leave you to it. Try and have some fun. You have Zahara right?" she looked at Peter, he nodded as he glanced over at their baby, she screeched loudly for his and Vanessa's attention and Alicia used the diversion to pull herself away.

"You're exactly like Owen." She mumbled irritably. Victoria simply laughed.

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment"

Alicia pulled her into the kitchen, "I can't believe you said that"

"The bitch stole your husband. Did you expect me to welcome her in my home with open arms?" between her broken French accident, inherited by her mother who Alicia had yet to meet, it sounded much more funnier than normal. Alicia was just about to respond when she realized they weren't alone. Cary, Kurt, Diane, and Carter stood in the middle of the kitchen.

Alicia didn't know what to say, knowing that they had probably heard Victoria's shocking banter, she only smiled and managed to choke out a "hello"

"How's your leg?" Victoria asked Cary while Alicia crossed the island and greeted Kurt for the first time.

"It's perfect thanks to you"

"That's good to hear. I could probably snap it back into its place if you want? I studied physiotherapy before I decided to be a surgeon"

"No thank you" Cary replied decidedly. "I like having my legs thanks" he laughed.

"Where's Will?" they heard Diane ask Alicia.

"Putting Mace to sleep, he shouldn't be long. Should we go?" she gestured to the backyard where people were already beginning to sit at their tables. The stage formed out in the backyard was covered with soft fairy lights, candles surrounded the area with wine and food in every direction. Diane nodded, leading the way out followed by her husband and Cary. Carter took her arm and offered her a warm smile, Alicia had grown to adore him in the small amount of time she had spent with him. Though still cautious to his true intentions with her daughter.

Judging by the level of awkwardness, Grace had clearly arranged the table sittings: Alicia was seated with her and Carter, Zach, Peter, Vanessa, Veronica, Victoria and Owen. It couldn't have been anymore tense if someone had thrown an explosive to the table. Veronica kept making odd conversation with Vanessa, trying to find out more about her life that wasn't already in the tabloids. Victoria and Owen were laughing at something that clearly was not funny, and Peter kept looking at Alicia's face again, with that same confused tint in his brow while he and Zach bickered about his idea of foreign policy. Alicia made sure not to make her observing of Will across the area any more obvious than it already was.

Zach had left the table to put a sleeping Zahara to bed as the speeches rolled in, and one by one, people congratulated the couple for their commitment after only four months of dating, which still had not gotten past Alicia and Peter's stomach, and judging by the look Peter gave her, it looked as though he were about give out now.

When it was Owen's turn, he told the story of when they went to Cambodia for one of Alicia's jobs; Grace had screamed the entire village down because of a spider that was the size of her suitcase. Alicia remembered that afternoon, a house not far from their village had been blown up and a family was killed. She didn't tell Grace or Owen because she knew it would have ruined their already scarce break.

Caught in the silence of her own mind, she didn't notice the murmuring that began to spread when Brad was seen standing on the patio. She looked at his figure in the distance, and then looked around for an explanation, ignoring the nosy eyes.

"We invited him" Grace explained, adding the 'we' to make clear that she wasn't alone in this, but judging by the way Carter furrowed his puzzled brows, Alicia knew that Grace had done it herself. "I sent out the invitations weeks ago, you know, before I knew that you and Will were now together" she made sure not to forget whose fault this was.

Trying not to make her inner frustration noticeable, she stood up and walked toward the canopy, smiling when she reached him. "I know this may come as a surprise" he said.

"That's an understatement. What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in rehab"

"Believe me, I don't want to be here either, when I realised it was this weekend, the only weekend I'm allowed out, I thought I should use it for something else, like fishing or something you know? But then something happened and I need to tell you..."

"Let's not do this here. Go inside" she took him by the arm and led him into the kitchen where a display odd deserts sat in rows. Brad began to pick at a few, and she did too because she couldn't help herself. "I'm glad to see you, but I was hoping that it would be in rehab, not here."

"I'm sorry… I didn't feel it was fair telling you over the phone"

"Tell me what? Brad you're not safe here, anything could channel your addiction"

"I don't care about that. Can we go somewhere more private?"

She looked around, this was as private as they could get, from a distance, she could see Veronica standing on the small stage, laughter erupted as she joked passionately and Alicia looked back at him. She wanted to stay, she needed to keep an eye on her unpredictable mother.

"Brad, what is it?"

His tensed face relaxed and he looked down at the island, ready to begin when somebody interrupted.

"What are you doing here?" It was Peter. He walked in and stopped a few meters from the two of them. Alicia gaped at him, she didn't like the way his mood changed. In another world maybe, she would have seen some kind of jealousy in his eyes, but it was simply anger that she saw now. He was livid, pissed actually.

"Peter, what are you up to?" said Alicia

"You have the nerve to show up here, at my daughter's party! What do you want with her" he pointed toward Alicia. "Control? Power? That's what guys like you want right?"

"Peter!" she yelled, appalled

"What the hell is your problem dude?" Brad stood on two feet, his dimension was muc bigger than Peter's, trained by years spent in the gym, though Peter was taller, and he probably had a few more years of muscle in him, but it was the way he looked at Brad that made Alicia's insides turn. He wanted to kill.

He knew.

Somehow, Peter knew the truth about Brad entering rehab. She figured that right now wasn't appropriate to calculate how he knew, because when she looked at his face again, she was taken aback as he dived and pushed Brad against the wall, plates and pots smashed to the floor, his fist aimed for Brad's face, and Brad raised his own, hitting Peter in the jaw.

She covered her mouth in shock as she watched the two sprawl to the ground, Peter hit Brad again, and he returned the bruised cheek. More wine glasses fell to the ground, catching the attention of a few others outside. Four of Peter's agents rushed it, pulling the two men apart, Peter eyed Brad one last time and shook his head, he wiped his red lip and mumbled. "You aren't worth it"

"Peter what the hell is wrong with you?!" she demanded

Victoria walked in, she gaped at the state of her kitchen and looked up at Alicia for an explanation. Alicia looked at her apologetically. Veronica walked in, her face just as shocked as Victoria's. "Can you take care of him" she gestured toward Brad and pulled Peter away. "We're talking now."

He and his agents followed her reluctantly to the study, she closed the door and paced in anger, trying to gather enough oxygen to explode "Are you out of your mind!" she yelled. "You just ruined our daughter's engagement party! Could you not have controlled yourself until after?!" she slammed a book against the table. He pushed the tissue against his lip and sat in the chair.

"I guess I could have waited until after, but I wasn't going to allow him to be here, Alicia. And what the hell are you still doing with him anyway? I don't even know you" he looked at her with disdain. "You may be comfortable with him… abusing you, but I won't let it happen. Not when I know you aren't doing anything about it, and our daughter..." he shook his head. "To think that Zahara could've seen"

"Abusing me!? He never did such a thing, and don't you _dare_ bring her into this"

"Don't fool me! I know what happened that night you got back from Montana. Mike called me right after"

"Mike?"

"Yea. The agent you fired. He was the agent outside the house when it happened. He wasn't sure what Brad had done to you, but when he saw your face, he told me. I had Brad's confidential files sent to my office, he was charged with assault against his ex-wife five times when they were married Alicia. I knew what he was doing to you. I saw that bruise on your face, I knew you were lying to me. I'm not going to let my kids be around him from now on, I don't care what you say." His endless rant bored her to another brim of anger.

"He slapped me across the face, once" she lowered her voice. "He apologized repeatedly and I helped him into rehab. That's all that happened Peter, he's not abusing me! and I don't know what you read on those files, but you know more than anyone not to trust a piece of paper"

"I don't care, I don't want to hear yours or his reasons. Just get him out of here."

There was no refusing him, if she didn't do it herself than he would. She figured it was better she handle it rather than wait for Peter to have him kicked out of the country. Slamming the door shut and making sure that he understood she was mad, she made her way toward the kitchen. Will stood with her mother and Brad, helping Brad with a pack of ice. Her stomach dropped seeing him so beautiful with Brad, if only he knew.. She figured Brad was lucky with just Peter as his shadow.

The mess had been cleaned up, it was just the four of them in the kitchen. "Would you like to tell us what's going on?" Veronica inquired

"Brad, you need to go" she told him.

"No" her mother interrupted. "Not until that idiot comes out and apologizes"

"Miss Loy" said Brad "It's really.. really not a problem. Peter and I will deal with it later, honestly, she's right, I have to go"

"Do you have any idea what people out there are thinking?" she pushed.

"I don't care mom" Alicia said decidedly, "they can think whatever they want"

"Grace is mad and upset and she's trying very hard to hide it. Imagine her reaction when she's listening to me on stage, and hears plates crashing, only to see her father choking her mother's ex-fake-boyfriend"

Alicia closed her eyes, and shook her head in shame. Brad took it as his cue and stood up to leave, he nodded at Will, whom looked fiercely confused and worried. Alicia kept eye contact with him until she was outside, only offering a timid smile in comfort.

She walked him to his expensive Ferrari and looked at him once more. He tried to laugh through his bruised jaw, "Don't worry about it okay? It was a long time coming"

She reached up to hug him. Just as she pulled away to watch him go, she remembered, "You wanted to tell me something?"

As the seconds slowed down into stretched minutes, and he tried to gather enough breath, he finally spoke. "Callie has a lawyer, she wants to see Macey again. She wants Macey. And she's going to do everything she can to get what she wants. She's ruthless Alicia, I don't know, maybe her addiction has done something to her, but all she seems to talk about is Macey even when she hardly knows her. I just wanted you to know, you deserve to know. I really have to go now."

In her field of vision, she could see that he was trying to catch her attention, but her mind was elsewhere at this point.

Brad murmured something, before reaching out to squeeze her elbow in support. She pulled back and shook her head, upset. He had to do this now didn't he? she cursed him silently, she was ruined. Her entire night ruined.

What felt like a millennium of time - her vision finally resumed back to reality when the gravel reacted to the swift movement of his tires, she watched him drive away.


	40. The Wake

"I think it's time your grandmother needs a hearing aid" Peter whispered to Grace as he sat next to her on her new table. She had moved intentionally, and opted for the firms table, which seemed much more calm and undisturbed than his one.

She ignored him and swallowed tensely, not for her grandmother's awful singing, but because her father's presence seem to attract more unwanted eyes.

"I want to explain everything, but I don't think…"

"Don't" she hissed, lowering her voice and moving to stare at his face. "You just ruined my entire party. All anyone can talk about is you and Brad, could you not have controlled yourself until later on?" her entire face was red as a tomato. From the corner of her eye, she caught Diane look at her worriedly, and tried to calm herself from exploding any further. She was only thankful for the sound of Jackie's loud singing that concealed her verbal rage.

"I never ask you for anything, but for one night, I asked you not to draw attention to yourself and that's exactly what you did. If you do this at my wedding, I swear, I will break down in front of mom andshe will probably have the divorce papers signed in a day. Do you understand now?"

He was momentarily shocked, the small girl who used to be afraid of her own shadow had obviously disappeared. He nodded.

"Perfect. You can call your helicopter now, you don't need to be here anymore. I'll see you at the wedding, don't be late."

She turned back around, and breathed out a weight she had been holding in her heart for years. Carter took her hand instantly, looking at his father in law for some kind of sign. Peter cleared his throat, kissed her forehead, and walked away, passing Alicia as she came to see if they were okay. She looked at him confused as he passed without saying a word, she looked down at Grace who glared up at her and decided to follow Peter's footsteps.

"Where's Will?" she asked Owen

He shrugged and pointed toward the balcony. She saw him talking on the phone, panicked, she tried to mask off her obvious unease, having just found the most horrifying news anyone could ever find.

She closed the glass door and moved over to him, she looked down at the view below them, only noticing now that it looked down onto the tables in front of the small stage.

Will sighed and rubbed his face. "Mr Jefferson, your cases are very important to us of course… Yes.." he looked at Alicia. "I have to go sir, I'll contact you in the morning." He hung up without another word.

Alicia grabbed his hand and squeezed softly, "Can we go inside? Where it's quiet"

He nodded and followed suit, his gaze stern and unreadable. She found her way back into Victoria's study, ignoring the large human skeleton that stood almost as tall as Will. "What's going on Alicia?"

"I… I don't even know where to start Will.. I"

"Start with Peter and Brad" a line formed in between his brows. She sighed and shook her head sternly, "That doesn't matter. Peter and Brad… I can't tell you because.. I just can't"

"that's not a good enough reason"

"Well it is for me" she grabbed his sturdy shoulders and forced him to sit.

"If you won't tell me, I'll ask them myself"

"Brad is gone and I just watched Peter call his chopper. By the time you get out there he'll be gone, will you just listen to me now?"

He shot her a piercing look of disdain, his eyes almost whispering _How are you capable of hiding something from me?_

She covered her stomach to suppress the sick feeling in her bowl, and told him. She explained for the first time that Brad was in rehab, and that she had accompanied him to Nashville, only to discover Callie. She told him her panic when she first saw her, or when she realized she had been sober for two whole years. Telling him about Callie's intentions to have Macey almost choked her to say it out loud. Alicia had just finished apologizing for having lied about it for so long when she realized he wasn't reacting the way she expected.

He sat still, a string of guilt and confusion clouding his features. He stood up impatiently and began to pace. She watched him. "Will?"

"She didn't tell me you were with her" he whispered to himself

What air was left in her lungs came out in one breath as she murmured a "what?" she told herself to breathe calmly, that everything was okay.

"I've been in contact with Callie for over a year now" he admitted. He moved closer but she took a step back.

"Contact?"

"We have been talking. She calls maybe once a month, to check in on Macey. But I talk to her therapist more than I do with her."

"Has she spoken with Macey?" Alicia's pupils raged with possessiveness, Macey wasn't hers biologically, nevertheless, she was damn well hers if the last few months had proved anything.

"Of course not" though she had no reason to trust him now, she saw in his eyes that he was honest.

"I told her that there are strict rules when it comes to our daughter. She didn't put much of a fight when I demanded custody, she was too high to recognize how important Mace was. She claimed she loved her, I knew it was best she stay away. I don't know what Brad heard at rehab, but Callie would be completely foolish to even think that a court will let her see Macey, let alone give her some kind of custody arrangement."

Alicia was still trying to grasp onto his easy acceptance of the term _our-daughter_ when she realized that he wasn't worried about Callie's pending threat. "And yet, you've been talking to her for over a year? When were you going to tell me about this Will?" her throat coiled, "When? After or before I got so attached to _your_ daughter"

"Alicia don't start" he shook his head.

"Don't start?! You coward! You weren't going to tell me at all were you? Just until she showed up on our doorstep for one of Macey's birthday's, or called while you weren't home, or maybe when Macey's older and she dropped some notion about going to meet her mother in the afternoon. Do you think I am thick?"

"Don't turn my words around, I wasn't going to let her touch Macey.."

"So you were just dragging her on?"

"I was checking in on her! Does it matter now? When were you going to tell me about seeing her? You didn't want to tell me when you got back? You were afraid that if I found out where she was I'd be curious and find her. Don't you think I deserved to know?"

"Not when I know the truth" she said calmly. "You're right, I was afraid. The fact is, we have never talked about it. We've talked about getting a house and having a family, hell, I'm supposed to be moving here in four months, but we never talked about Macey and you know why?" she threw vicious glares in his direction. "I was foolish enough to assume that it was already sorted. You wanted to be Zahara's father, you said so yourself that night in Montana, so I just thought, that's my life planned. It will just be the four of us, clearly I was wrong because you seem to have your own plans!" she yanked away from him, creating enough distance for him to understand that she was pulling them apart once more.

He sighed and relaxed his hands "Okay, first of all, you _are_ moving here in four months, don't question it. And second, it will be just the four of us, with Peter and Callie in the background, maybe my two painful sisters and my mother, yours too, plus your other two kids. That's just the way it is, no matter how much I despise Callie, I can't keep her away from Macey forever just like I can't really ignore Peter"

"Peter's the father of my three children if you haven't noticed"

"I have noticed" his eyes grew with anger. "No matter how much you seem to respect him, I'll never love him, I'm sorry, I don't like the guy, that has nothing to do with jealousy. He feels as though he still has a right to take care of you. But I have accepted that, don't you think it's about time you do the same?"

She laughed, and bit her lip to suppress a curse. "Don't kid me Will, you've done nothing but repress Callie from conversation, whenever I tried to broach the topic, you always said that she would never see Macey. What was I supposed to think then? That she was perfect? You basically encouraged me to think badly of her. Now what am I supposed to do?"

"I'm only talking to her Alicia, it's not as if we meet up for coffee every week. We talk about Macey sometimes, but most of the time we talk about her progress. I don't like her, but I don't hate her"

"But you made me think that you did!" her voice faltered and she gave up. She couldn't fight with him. Not tonight.

"You know what, I'm done" she placed her hands up in defence, and then rubbed her forehead. "I think we need a break, to think about…. all this." Seeing his panicked reaction, she bit her lip fiercely to stifle the tears.

"No. No break. I don't want a break. We talk, like normal people, we continue to fight. Not just give up"

"Nobody's giving up. I just don't want to fight tonight, I'm tired. Just leave me alone, for tonight please."

She walked out of the room before he could try and stop her. He thought she was right, he needed time to sit and think, but he didn't want to be apart from her.

* * *

She had managed to get up on stage and say her speech. It wasn't difficult to congratulate her daughter and future son in law when Alicia knew their kind of love. They were going to have a wonderful time together, though, if marriage had taught her anything, it was that life wasn't always going to be this wonderful. She ignored Will's eyesight when she said it, and if Peter were there, she probably would have ignored his too.

She sat down for what felt like an hour, but was only ten minutes before she decided to go inside. She ignored the look Will gave her as she walked up the concrete steps. She found Victoria in the kitchen drying dishes, Alicia helped her, making light conversation about the party. "Are you two okay?" she asked gently.

She stood back up from lowering the plates into the draw and simply shrugged, a look of defeat in her eyes. "Nobody said anything was going to be easy"

"I heard you two arguing, well, mumbling through the wall. I hope you're not going to leave again?" the idea of her and Zahara departing early seemed like a suitable idea, but she didn't want to hurt Will any more than she already had.

"Do you and Michael ever lie to each other?" asked Alicia

"Not that I know of" she chuckled. "What's this about Alicia?"

"Not even about mundane things? Like the washing, or grocery shopping?"

"Well, the other day I told him that I forgot to get his favourite beer, but I only lied about that because he needs to watch his sugar intake"

Seeing that her sister's life was as beautiful and dull as a Christmas tree, she sighed slowly. "Okay. It's not the same."

"So he lied to you?"

She nodded, "But I lied to him too"

"Sounds like high school, to me."

That was a response that Alicia would expect from her. Victoria pushed her into talking to him, she was more than optimistic to the notion that her struggles with Will weren't _real_ struggles. "Two hours ago you two were looking at one another as if the both of you had been starving for centuries. Seriously, tell him your sorry before any of it gets out of hand. You're going to Afghanistan right? It would kill him to have to see you off, that way."

The last couple of syllables slipped under her tongue with more meaning than any word could hold. _That way._ She told herself to ignore the pointless anxiety her entire family had with her travelling so much, it was unnecessary for them to think of Afghanistan as hazardous only because of its uncontrolled history. She shook her head at Victoria and shrugged her shoulders as she moved away. "You're right, I'll talk to him, later though. I'm exhausted. Can I sleep with you tonight?"

Her husband had taken the kids on one of his weekly work trips, and the rest of their guest bedrooms had been taken by Grace and Carter, the second the girls, and the third belonging to Alicia and Will, which was now his alone. With one raised brow, the blonde simply questioned. "Really Alicia?"

"Pleasseee?" she pleaded

"Fine. But don't avoid him for too long, and I sleep on the left side." She instructed with a pointed finger. Alicia chuckled as she walked up the stairs, passed the girls bedroom and smiled fondly at the sight of her two girls cuddled together. It wasn't always a bed of roses with the two, it was only that morning that they were fighting viciously over some toy, though, they were still overwhelmingly perfect in her eyes.

As soon as she hit the bed, and closed her eyes. She imagined the joy of which she would feel in a month, having her first private hospital built for her kids in Ethiopia, and knowing very well the level of hard work she and her team had put into, she fell asleep quickly with a pressing longing that she refused to admit.

* * *

Will sat at the firms table, with an ease as calm as water, he participated in their warm version of a conversation. Money, clients, money, and more clients. Kurt seemed to understand his boredom and asked him when the wedding was, slowly drifting away from the table's discussion. "Six weeks from now, I think" he only remembered it because Grace had ran a mile to make sure that Alicia and Peter's schedule would give them at least a couple days off.

"Oh, I wasn't talking about them" his gaze pointed toward Grace and Carter, who were engrossed in their own little conversation. It only took Will several seconds to realise that the older man was referring to himself and Alicia, and by his timely smirk, he had an inkling that the remark wasn't an accident.

"Right, well, we were thinking this coming fall, or spring, Alicia likes weddings in the spring, but she tends to get bad allergies, so we might go for late may" he teased back, slightly shocked to realise that his own desires weren't far from Kurt's assumption.

"will the venue be a court house or.. a church?"

"I think Alicia would find both dreadful"

"Right" they chuckled.

"What are you two laughing about?" Diane said as she rested on her husband's shoulder.

"Nothing" they both answered, smiling in shared amusement.

Cary made a comment about Carter's pending arrangements for a bachelor party, and the conversation exploded with illogical ideas that made Will even more tired. He began to grow quiet as he noticed that Alicia hadn't joined the crowd in a long time, this wasn't the place or time to argue once more, but there was a longing to establish ground. To just see her from a long distance would relax his thoughts.

"Will?" Diane's soft voice pounded through his ears

"Yes?"

"I was just asking if you still needed me to have Macey Friday afternoon?" _oh,_

Having Alicia home for a whole week, he didn't have to worry about finding a sitter on his late nights. But she was going soon, _again._ He didn't mind that she had to work, he loved that she was gorgeously independent, running something that was bigger than any of his clients yearly income, but sometimes, it was just.. suffocating.

He nodded, "No sugar" he reminded her for hopefully the last time. Macey tended to get anything and everything she wanted when she was with Diane and Kurt.

She smiled, and didn't fail to lie - "I promise."

Kurt excused himself for the rest room, at a snail's pace, she moved over, sketching his posture with her eyes. The table's conversation was ringing with bustling talk, as usual, Diane and Will were the only two not involved.

"Is everything okay?" she finally asked.

"It will be."

With one raised brow, she waited for him to continue. The shimmer on his glass fancied him for several seconds, _she_ always liked scotch, Alicia, though she didn't seem to drink as much anymore.

"Callie is back"

He watched as the news dawned on her face, her knowing features changing with each passing second, she opened her mouth, then closed it again. He knew she would be the right person to talk to, despite her reservations, she would always have Maceys best interest in mind.

"She… she's here?"

"Not in Chicago, it's a long story, and I'd rather avoid going into the details. But apparently she wants to see Macey."

"Well, we both knew this would happen," she said cautiously. "I just didn't think she would come around so soon."

"She could have told me, warned me at least"

"She's probably scared that you'll deny her a chance. How is it that you know this? Are you still in touch?"

"Brad Collier is in rehab with her."

Her brows lifted at the revelation, she mouthed an "oh" and settled further into her chair. "So I take it Alicia knows?"

He nodded, his next words were almost a murmur, light, as if he was ashamed, "It's causing some…" _problems? Issues?_ He didn't know which word to choose considering his own confusion.. "challenges between us two."

She sighed, her gaze leaving his own and settling on the table mat. She was probably trying to imagine whose side belonged to who, if Alicia was tolerant of Callie's existence or absolutely repulsed. "Will… I wouldn't expect any less.."

"I understand her problem with it, it's not that she doesn't have a right to pitch in, she does, but I spent twelve months fighting with Callie about everything, the pregnancy, then getting clean, and eventually custody. I should be able to decide whether she gets to see Macey, even if it's just for five minutes. Callie's not Maceys mother, Alicia is, I thought that would be enough for her."

"Will, it doesn't work like that. You've asked Alicia to spend the rest of her life with you, she's given up a lot. I think she deserves to have a say on whether Macey's drug addict biological mother sees her or not, don't you?" her hostile and honest words took him off guard, even more so when he realized she was right.

It crossed his mind repeatedly, and each meaning began to rise with more truth than he could ever comprehend. His heart sank so low he forced himself to drink water before it began to show.

The sound of champagne popping and loud clapping interrupted their intimate exchange, Diane pulled away as Kurt resumed next to her side. They shifted their attention to Grace and Carter who had finally gotten on stage, they thanked everybody for their kind compliments, and apologized in advance if the majority of the guests weren't invited to the wedding. Grace found no problem in blaming her parents, whose security issues were still an unnecessary problem for the rest of their family. As the backyard began to empty, and everyone left, he showed his colleagues out to the door, and finished his night by helping the rest pack up.

He wasn't as surprised when he found an empty bed, Victoria gave him a guilty and apologetic look as she reassured him that Alicia just wanted to be alone, a lie that would be obvious to even someone like Maceys age. He nodded, regardless of her bluntness that tended to offend others, he appreciated her absolute loyalty to his girlfriend.

 _Girlfriend._

The term felt so strange and teen-like Will thought as he hit the bed. He had to change it soon, his conversation with Kurt earlier repeating in his mind, he had to do it before she could change her mind.

* * *

This story is dragging on so I'm going to end it soon, but not without a few heated drama to finish them off. I'm forever busy but I hope you're all still with me! :) please comment any thoughts xx


	41. Chapter 41

A.N: Thank you all for the support. Please comment any thoughts xx

* * *

She relaxed against the soft pillow, stretching her arm out to ease the stiff muscle in her shoulder. She turned over, Victoria was fast asleep, her closed lids and slow breathing didn't fail to betray any sign of consciousness. Alicia looked out the window into the dark night, the quarter moon was barely visible from the angle of the master bedroom, she thought it would entertain her thoughts longer, but it didn't.

She knew this would likely happen, in her nights away from him, it always took longer to fall asleep and easier to wake. Making sure that she didn't disturb her sister, she slipped out of bed and tiptoed through the house. The night light from inside the girls' bedroom added a nice blue tint to the hallway, she crossed the threshold and entered into what was supposed to be her room for the night. Will was lying on his chest, his bare back visible enough for her to see in the dark. The only source of light was one from outside, very dim, but it gave her an opportunity to watch him from afar.

As he turned over, his head lifting slightly and his crushed eye lids peeking through the darkness. She sighed loudly and crawled on the large bed. He shifted so he could rest against the head board, he was half conscious now, waiting for her to say something, to do anything, fight with him, slap him, cry, or leave. She folded her legs so that her bottom rested on the heels of her feet, wearily, and slightly nervous, she reached out for his hand.

"I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"For ignoring you, after our fight."

He chuckled lightly, though it wasn't intended to mock her of himself. "It's not your fault, I'm the one who made the mess" yawning, he reached out to tuck the thread of hair that escaped from her perfect head of hair. He didn't understand it, but her hair always seemed to be whole, not even one strand out of place, still silky and soft as it was the day he met her, bar the wild curls that had been tamed some years ago.

"No… I'm sorry for not telling you about seeing her, you're right. I was afraid, scared shitless really, I thought that if you found out where she was, you would go after her. I was selfish, I was only thinking of myself, I feel horrible about it"

He looked at her, confused. "You thought I would go after her? As in… fight with her or something?"

She shook her head slowly, avoiding eyesight. "I thought if you saw how clean she was, sober, and that she had everything together… Is it okay to admit that I was possessive and jealous over a recovering drug addict?"

"No, it's not" he shook his head fiercely, "Alicia… you have to understand.. I" he paused, and sighed, frustrated and desperate to get his words out. "I can't live without you, you are literally all I think about when we're apart. She doesn't, she doesn't even compare to you.. God.. I can't believe, for one second you considered it.."

"I was insecure." She admitted loudly. "I'm sorry if it frustrates you, but she is Macey's biological mother. I can't change that, so I was insecure. That's all. But I should have told you, I admit that now."

"Did she say anything to you?" Will eyes turned instantly, his gaze weary and over-protective, suddenly realising that it should have been the first thing he asked her.

"She asked how I was, and said something about wanting to get coffee.. I told her I'd think about it.. but at that point, all I could think about was Macey.. and you. So I just came here and tried to forget about it." _As if it could leave her._

"God baby I'm so sorry for dragging you into this mess" he pulled her into his chest, hugging her tightly. He was used to her slim figure, still, he had to remind himself that she wasn't wood or metal, that her sensitive skin tended to bruise easily.

"I should have told you, about having contact with her. But the more I thought about her, the real it became, and I liked the idea of her being away, so that I could enjoy my life with Mace alone, not having to deal with her issues. Just the two of us. I knew If I told you…"

"I would have made a big deal about it" she finished for him, pulling apart to catch his worried features. "and then you would have had to rid yourself of the fantasy you were living in. Now, you actually have to consider her as a reality, rather than someone from the past."

"It's not a very rational excuse, I realise that now"

She rubbed off the tense line on his forehead, and smiled, "you were never one to be rational, honey"

He stilled for a silent moment, pondering on what to say next. "You're the only mother Macey needs." He said, resolutely.

"Will"

"I mean it Alicia. If I had it my way, Callie wouldn't even be here. . ."

"Will stop it, stop" she pulled away completely, running her hands through her hair and taking a needed breath. "I wouldn't mind it if.. someday you allowed her into Macey's life, it would be difficult, but I wouldn't live with myself knowing that I… we took that opportunity away from.. Mace. I know you have your reservations about her, but if you're even remotely scared for my feelings about having to see her hold Mace, don't be. I'm an adult. I can deal with it."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, her thoughts travelling sceptically. "If it were Peter, would you be saying the same thing?" the question seemed out of place, but she needed him to understand without offending him as a parent in some kind of way. "I mean, everyone deserves to get to know their child at some point right?"

"Peter's not a drug addict who abandoned his new born" he said resolutely, his tone of anger unfamiliar to her. To this day he could easily remember the powerful, panicked feeling he felt when Callie left him with nothing but an abject note. He was absolutely petrified, having a vulnerable, 4 pound human to take care of when he hardly had an idea on how to take care of himself. He couldn't even feed her, forced to rely on products and medication that seemed to take them back rather them invite them forward into progress. He thanked his sister's and his mother every day for an endless support that, even to today, with all the success and money he had, wouldn't be able to repay the three of them. They loved Macey more than anything, and if there was anything that he was absolutely sure about, it was that they would soon see the common interest they had with Alicia.

"You're right, but Peter hasn't always been perfect too." She murmured. He was reminded that they had somehow gotten to Peter. Shifting the conversation to less awkward field, he nodded in agreement, whispering a mild "okay" before pressing his lips against her forehead. "I wouldn't know what to do without you." He whispered truthfully, a raw kind of emotion in his voice that rarely ever showed in daylight, or night, though she remembered fondly a few whispered secrets beneath sheets about his past.

She lifted herself to straddle his hips and pressed a soft kiss to his cracked lips, "It's good for you that I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

They moved easily around the kitchen that morning, there was a new found territory that the both of them felt having just shared something beyond intimacy, beyond love or affection. It was honesty. It was reassurance that this thing they had was worth the ongoing battle.

She handed Victoria her cup of coffee when she walked in, Carter sat at the table reading the paper whilst Grace fed her little sister. Zahara refused to feed herself despite her capacity to do so, she liked the attention. Macey was the opposite, she always exercised independency, even at the most impossible moments.

The image of so much domesticity in one room made her want to laugh and throw up silmultaneously. She snatched the daily schedule from Victoria's hand, "Hey!" she fought. Alicia peered at the list, envious at her sister's adventurous occupation.

"One infant heart surgery, bone marrow removal, another surgery on a brain tumour and… an appendectomy?"

"I'm only assisting on that last one, it's a junior intern"

"You do this in one day?" Will asked

"Yes. And this is an easy day."

"Would you like to swap jobs for a little bit?" Alicia teased

"Depends, what's on your list?"

"Tomorrow, Zahara and I fly out to DC, I have go to a luncheon and then I have to do a fundraiser that same evening. Then I have to get on a fourteen hour flight, somehow write a report for the luncheon and do my own work, once we land I have to visit an orphanage with two thousand children and then I have to go to a conference with an ambassador from the UN. I will be living three days without any sleep."

"I think I'll stick to my day job, thanks" Victoria mumbled.

Alicia's mild laughter stopped as her phone chimed. A message from Zach appeared on the screen. _"Morning, mom"_ was all it said.

Her mommy's heart throbbed with blushing happiness. Grace would always be the friendliest of the two, but Zach never failed to check up on her daily. She replied as her family exchanged banters in the kitchen. _'Morning honey, will I see you today?'_

It took no longer than a minute for him to respond with a yes. Zach had grown with so much distance in the last three years, his strained relationship with his father proved that much, though last night had taught her a lot more about her son. Zach loved her, that was the truth, and with the weeks and months he watched his father force her to participate in events that clearly made her angry or miserable. His tolerance for Peter shrunk. He would always blame his father for introducing Alicia's depression post-election, for introducing her to foreign policy and eventually Iraq, Syria, Liberia, and every other danger that she had thrown herself into. He would never resent her work, she knew this, but it didn't make their relationship any easier.

"Is he okay?" Will's voice spoke gently from behind her shoulder, knowing the smile that was reserved only for when her son.

"Yes. I'll get to see him today. I wish I didn't have to leave you" her gaze shifted from his face to his daughter's across the room.

"You could take Macey if you want" he suggested, a new light in his voice. It was hard for him to see the choking technique she did in preparation for leaving him or his daughter, he could barely tolerate leaving Zahara himself. "It's only for a week, and she's on holiday anyway"

Alicia smiled, warm and overcome and slightly disappointed. "I'd love to, but I wouldn't do that her. Not east Asia anyway." Again, Will didn't understand why Alicia thought it was okay to go there when to her, it wasn't for Macey, but he remained silent about the issue, knowing very well that there was nothing he could do to convince her.

"Next time" the corners of her lips lifted once more, picturing Macey's face as she finally got to see the perks of her job, "definitely."

* * *

Their evening wasn't planned to be spent as a semi partial family, she hoped she would have Macey and Zahara to herself, but Zach had arrived to Will's with Pizza, and Grace had brought Thai, so after they had eaten, she watched her kids scramble to Will's living room. It felt stranger than it should having all four kids in one room with Will.

She was still in the kitchen looking over some paper work when Macey came to find her, she touched her knee from where she stood just below the head of the table. "Leesh working again" she said

Alicia picked her up and hugged her to the chest, Macey's chubby hand rested on her knee "Would you like to see something?"

She nodded, and Alicia showed her the complete outcome of the children's hospital in Ethiopia. "A little while ago, this whole ground was just dirt, but now it's a small hospital for babies and big girls like yourself. I had it built and now it's nearly finished, you are the first human to ever see it" she smiled down at her, trying to imagine what thoughts were trickling in that little head of hers.

"Leesh done all by herself?" she pointed toward the pictures of the construction site.

"No, I got a lot of people to help me, but you'll understand once you get bigger." She stroked her hair, and allowed Macey to look through the plans, numerous pages of writing she had done in order to convince hundreds of authorities, endless designs and sketches, materials, even as the building was almost finished, she wasn't _entirely_ pleased.

"I need you to help me. I don't know what to name the hospital, you remember what a hospital is?" she nodded her little head, comparing it to its strange odour of disinfectant and a home of doctors.

"Do you have any names baby? It has to be a special one, because it's for really special kids."

"Special?" her tiny brows raised. "Like Me?" she pointed toward her heart, reminding Alicia of the weight she felt knowing that Macey's anaemia was suffocating herself more than it was for the child. Alicia choked back a defeated sigh, brushing her hair away. "Yes honey, like that. Only, these kids are really sick, and they don't have a lot of help like we do."

"I want to be a princess" the toddler declared, as if this wasn't new and completely off topic.

Alicia sighed, smiling as she reached for another kiss. "I know"

"Maybe it a castle?" she suggested, ingeniously. "Zahara sick too, like me. Maybe it's a home for princesses"

Alicia's muffled laughter was replaced by the bell ringing in her head. A castle. She wasn't going to rebuild the hospital into a castle, that would drive her staff to their early graves, but it was her choice to name it. Macey's imagination grassed more ideas in her mind than it had all year. She was going to name each hospital after her kids. Their names. Starting with Zahara, Macey, and eventually her two older ones.

Smiling, she hugged her closer and decided to give up on work for the day. Following Macey into the living room, she found Grace and Zach sitting on two opposite ends of the couch, Grace was reading a book to Zahara, Macey joined her to the hip, whilst Zach and Will were yelling at the tv.

She moved under Will's arm and tried to pretend as though she was enjoying the game. "Can we watch something else?" she said, eventually,

"Mom!"

"Alicia!"

They both scowled.

Sighing, she bit back a laugh and rolled her eyes. It didn't take long for Will grab the remote and switch the channel to her and Grace's favorite show, leaving Zach completely defeated.

"Do you think.." Will murmured, as each person in the room absorbed the screen. "That you will ever like it?"

"Baseball?"

He nodded. She chuckled quietly, squeezing his arm, "I like it. I just don't like watching it. You can turn it back if you want"

"No. I like it when you try and boss your kids around, as if you have control over your emotions."

"I'm not trying to boss.." she followed his gaze that pointed to Zach, and she tried her best not to give in to the hopeless guilt she felt inside. "Listen. If I could love sport just as much as any of you do, I'd be the biggest disappointment this family ever had." By now, her kids were used to their mom's desperate pleas to change the channel.

Will only smiled, stroking the soft fabric of her jeans as he tried to watch the show, his thoughts caught in how good this felt, on how easy their kids took to the two of them cuddled together on the couch, as if Will and Alicia had been doing it for years, as if this wasn't the first time they had all lounged in the same room together without any interruptions. Will wasn't one for domesticity, he hadn't been privy to an intimate family since he left home for college, but this, this felt good.

"I hope you have a good time at work" he murmured, trying to grasp her attention away from the Chicago pretentious commercials.

"Don't worry, I will. Three days on the road without my kid, I can do just about anything, well, anything that Steve adheres to anyway." Thinking about it, Will was grateful for her head agent and his inability to let Alicia do whatever she wanted. He often wondered how the man was so capable of denying her.

"You don't want Zahara to go?" he continued in their whispered conversation, only briefly glancing at the child who had just tipped a bunch of toy blocks on her head.

"I do want her, if I could have it my way, I'd take her everywhere with me. But sometimes, it's just blatantly uncool to take her to some places. It's either unsafe, or she can't handle the climate and then she gets sick. It's not fair. But thankfully, this time is only a few days, and it just happened to fall on Peter's weekend."

"Does he get to spend much time with her?"

"Not really. As you can imagine, he doesn't even have time for himself. But the weekends are easier for them, she has about two different sitters. I know.." she said as she caught him crease his brows in disapproval. "But he spends the morning with her up until 10, and depending on the weekend, he'll finish early at 5, and then she has him for the rest of the night. She likes the sitters though, and Vanessa. She likes Vanessa."

"Do you?"

"I do" her absolute honesty over it never ceased to amaze her. "I like that out of all the chaos that goes on in that house, she's the one consistency Zahara has. Peter's schedule changes constantly, but not hers, she always clears her calendar so Zahara won't feel out of place, or unwanted. I'd hate myself if she felt unwanted."

"Vanessa sounds nice"

"Hmm" she yawned. "Can we stop talking now? I haven't seen this episode before"

"Okay" he watched her as she moved for the remote, increasing the volume, she moved closer into his chest.  
"Babe?" he murmured.

She sighed a "yes?" half her attention still on the tv. He closed the distance and whispered in her ear, "Will you marry me?"

He said it so casually, and so effortlessly, as if he was only talking about the weather, that it took her a few minutes to grasp onto his question. As astounding as she was, she bursted into a fit of laughter, her attention finally on him. "What?" she blurted out in between the light in her eye.

"Do you want me to say it out loud?"

"I think I heard you correctly" she chuckled once more, her cheeks going red.

"Why are you two making so much noise?" Grace asked from her end of the couch, clearly irritated by the commotion.

"I just asked your mom to marry me."

This time, there was a brief break in his voice, a tiny one that suggested his true anxiety, but not enough to make him appear just as weak as he was inside.

Grace yelped a "what!" whilst Zach copied his mother's reaction, and simply chuckled in disbelief. Zahara and Macey sat very confused, only fascinated by the level of joy and puzzlement in each adults face.

"Only if it's okay with you two, of course" Will said, his eyes suddenly not interested in Alicia's answer.

"Of course it's okay.. I mean, why wouldn't it be?" Grace asked. Zach shrugged, and smiled softly in his direction, the first gentle smile Will had seen from him in a while. "I mean it doesn't bother me, as long as it doesn't suggest I have to go easy on you on the field" Zach joked. "Oh god, all the junior associates are gonna tease the crap out of me now! My boss is marrying my not yet divorced mom" Grace concluded.

"Wait," Zach said. "Where would you get married?"

"In a church of course dummy!" answered Grace.

"No, a beach, or out in the country" Will told them, "She always wanted that, at Georgetown"

Alicia sat still, quietly dumbfounded, "Wait.. wait wait. I haven't even answered yet." She gaped between her two eldest children and the man that sat before her.

"You don't want to?" Grace asked. Why wouldn't you want to?

"I… Will.." she looked to her feet. She felt caged and puzzled and nauseous. Sitting down, she closed her eyelids and held her forehead, trying to calm her pounding pulse. Seeing her react this way wasn't easing Will's thrashing nerves, worried, and slightly panicked he kneeled down, the steady muscles in his thighs bulging as her balanced on his knee. God, why did he have to be so toned and effortlessly perfect? She thought, as she struggled simultaneously with saying yes or no. _Marry him._

"Alicia" he touched her knee, trying to catch her eyes.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

"Just a minute" the minute turned into another as she took slow breaths.

"Are you serious?" she finally said.

"Yes" he said confidently. He hadn't been serious about anything in his life, he had wanted her for the better half of his existence. If he had to force her to see the light, he would go to every length to have it happen, maybe he could use Macey? Or possibly even Zahara. Have them throw a tantrum in front of her so she could say yes. Yes, he thought, that sounded persuasive and not unfair at all.

She reached out for his hand, gazing at the gentle veins in his wrist, she pulled his face close to hers and kissed him with all the passion she could calculate as appropriate around children. She laughed again. This was absurd. "You are crazy" she whispered.

And that was all the answer he needed.


	42. The Red

A/N: It has been a bit more than two months since my last update and I AM SO SORRY, but if anyone is still reading, please let me know!

As for this chapter, for the second time, I am SO sorry.. :(

* * *

Saying goodbye to Will and Macey wasn't as difficult as she thought it would be, this was the reality of their life now. He buckled Zahara into her seat, forcing himself to move from her luring eyes and loving personality, he loved her so much it hurt, and then he kissed her mother against the car door. Alicia had pushed him away, chuckling, she whispered "see you soon" and reluctantly tore her arms away from Macey's.

"Bye my sweetheart" Macey pouted, and Alicia kissed it away, making promises that she would surely keep.

Peter took Zahara eagerly when they arrived in DC, he wished her a great time on the road. This would be the first time she would be separate from her daughter whilst overseas. She didn't like the feeling, though it was relief to have Zahara settle in so easily with her family.

They arrived in Africa in the evening, north of the biggest orange sky she had ever seen. Regardless of what anyone thought, this would always be the most beautiful country she had ever been in. Chicago was only magnificent because of her family, and she had been to a number of places in the world, but this was paradise. This was where her child was born, this was where her campaign had started. This was where the last 6 months of her blood, sweat and tears resided.

"Alicia, hi. It's so good to see you again" Lucy, one of the charities many staffs' and Alicia's most reliable. Alicia gladly wrapped her arms around her, and allowed the younger woman to usher her toward the waiting chopper.

"How's everything going?"

She smiled warmly, excitement flourishing through her features. "Amazing, truly. The hospital… you were right, the land was a perfect and safe location, and it's provided so many jobs in the area, already, some parents in the area are so happy to see that this is here. Have you decided on a name?"

"Kind of. We'll talk about it later." She wasn't eager to be reminded of Zahara so fiercely when she was trying very very hard not to miss her baby. But the hospital was going to be her name, and she couldn't help but think her and her sister once more.

"I'm only here for a short time. I have to go soon, I just wanted to see how things were going" she caught sight of the hospital from below the chopper and her eyes widened in surprise. It was beautiful, she knew it would be, but it was unreal to see it exist in reality. "It's amazing" the building wasn't too big or too small, it was three floors with an underground safety base, it's exterior two wings that rounded and stood opposite each other, from one side of the building she could see the other through the glass window. A stunning garden covered the front, and a stele gate circled the area. It would take another four months to get it fully furnished and christened.

She hung around for more than she was supposed to, only because she was back in love with children that had captured her heart and time three years ago. She gave them as much attention as she possibly could, the orphanage only ten kilometres from the hospital. She thought of her own kids as she said goodbye, this was their future.

/

Macey reached up to pinch her father's arm, her eyes staring up at him with slight anger for having been imprisoned in his office all day. "Ow" he said, feigning his pain as he rubbed his arm.

"Sowwy daddy" she said genuinely. "I wanna see Leeshh" she demanded.

She had a bad dream last night, Macey. She had screamed so loud that Will couldn't get out of the bed fast enough. His initial thoughts in his foggy thinking was that someone was in the house, he never wanted to experience such heart palpitations again. He carried her to his room when he realised it was just a nightmare. He tried to get her to explain in her toddler grammar, to paint it on paper the next morning, but all she said was that she wanted Alicia. That she was scared.

He debated with her in his office, she was going to be one astonishing lawyer in the future, even if she didn't want to, she was born to dispute, to question reason. Kalinda marched in with her notepad, her eyes set on Macey for the briefest second.

He left Macey to play on his ipad as they talked, it didn't take long for Macey to realise that the device had a camera, which could somehow associate with the video calling that Will took to Alicia each day. She was clever, too clever for his own good. "She'll be asleep right now baby. It's late where she is right now"

His daughter was on the verge of throwing a tantrum right there, but Kalinda, despite her lack of connection with children, offered some company. "Cary and I are gonna get lunch soon, if you want to join?"

"Uncle Cary?" she said, questioning, beautiful eyes. She looked at her father for confirmation, he nodded and watched her scramble off to Cary's office.

"Not too much food please, she'll never eat her dinner."

"She misses Alicia huh?"

"She misses Alicia." He repeated. "But Alicia is coming back." In four days, _precisely._

"It was good to see her.. the other night."

"Yea. She said the same, she likes you a lot you know." Kalinda knew he wasn't lying, he had given up on trying to play a role in mending their friendship when Alicia had left Chicago and Kalinda followed her footsteps, finding her own kind of identity before returning back to the firm two years later. Alicia's genuine smile and relaxed behaviour the other night suggested that she was glad to be with her, even for those few awkward minutes.

"It's good to see you happy Will."

* * *

The children in Afghanistan were wary of her at first, it was the first time she had met them, but with time, and Alicia joining them for dinner, she knew they had adapted to her. She loved each and every single one of them, but they needed more than love, they needed something that Alicia would never be able to give so easily, they needed parents, love, care, attention, security. Being parentless was foreign to Alicia, she had her father in her life up until his death, and her mother was still here. She had her own children, who had everything and anything that involved love. She was lucky.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get rid of the need to do something good, for them.

She got into bed that night and immediately called Will, it would be just after one in the afternoon in Chicago.

"Hey you" he said through the phone, completely filtered with a heavy tone of affection in his voice.

She misses his voice, and it's only been a day.

"Hey yourself"

"Busy day?" she can hear the sound of rustling papers and a stapler in the background. "Yes. You?"

"Kind of"

"You're at work?"

"Yea, just for the day. Macey is here. She just left for lunch"

"I thought you were putting her in that holiday program for the week?"

"I was going to, but she had a rough night. And I'm starting to reconsider it, I don't mind having her in the office for a week, and the nanny picks her up at two each day anyway"

"Is she okay?"

"Bad dream. It's the first one in a while."

"Poor baby" she murmurs, deep in thought. "Maybe I could.."

"No video calls today, please, if she sees you she will just cry and then you will cry and it will be a mess. . ."

"I will not" she protests.

"You will" he laughs. "We have work to do" She sighs. He promises her that she will talk to her in the morning, when she has calmed down from repeatedly asking for Alicia.

"What are you doing?" he said, this time, she smiles, licking her lips.

"Lying in bed, thinking about you of course"

She can feel him grinning. Before she can contain herself, she whispers "I know it hasn't even been long. But I can't stop thinking about your hands all over me"

"God I wish I wasn't in the office right now" he says, half teasing.

She laughed, loudly, piercing the soothing quiet. Outside, was the most spectacular view, nothing to the sahara desert, but the woods and bright, brilliant stars, untamed from any streetlights, were trapped in its own safety of darkness. She wanted him here, to see, to experience.

"I guess I'll just have to help myself" she concludes, husky and all daring..

"Don't you dare" he warns, something in his voice, serious and not even the least bit teasing.

"Why not?"

"Don't put those kind of images in my head Alicia, not now"

"Well, if it were night time in Chicago, we would be having an entirely different conversation, or maybe conversation isn't the right word" she smiles when she hears him laugh, like the stars, or the moon, his laugh lights up the darkened room. "You're going to torture me with nothing but my own thoughts aren't you?" she says

"Four more days Alicia, control yourself"

"I need you, Will. It's.. it's not even possible how badly. ."

She can see him closing his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat and snatching a desperate gulp of air, or maybe that was her? She didn't care, either way, she hadn't felt this risky and _impatient_ in years. Her veins were exploding for _it,_ for intimacy, for the hours of lovemaking she and Will had grown accustomed to, to the raw and animalistic sex they had built together. The last week had been perfect but it wasn't as passionate as Montana, they barely had enough time, with Grace's party and their two girls taking up the bed, they really had to sought that out too, she thought, she couldn't have her own daughters' steal her bed too.

"Not as much as I think I need you" he whispered, and she sunk further down into the covers. They've done this before, the first time when she was still working at the firm and he had left for that conference. She giggles, like a child, as she remembers, and now anticipates.

"How warm are you?" he says, this time unfiltered, his voice only slightly straining.

She reaches down, even though she doesn't have to because she already knows. "Wet. Hot. It's so hot in here, my back is sweating, the air con is on, but it's like my blood is..is" she breathes and sighs. "on fire"

"Give me a minute" he says. And she can hear him moving, his blood is on fire too, and when he closes the bathroom door, she relaxes with him, knows he's safe from prying eyes.

She knows he will make her writhe with easy torture, she doesn't care.

* * *

Walking out of the emergency room, Peter strode hurriedly toward anyone insight. "Get her out!" he screamed, his face growing red. "Get her out! Someone call Alicia and get her!"

"Peter! What on earth…" Eli came around the corner, stopping as he saw Peter's face. He was in a panic, terrified, absolutely terrified. His cheeks were red and his eyes – "What is it?" he swallowed

"Alicia.. Russia, they're dropping explosives in that village, where she is…" he pushed past his secretary and pushed his palm into his office. "Get her out!" he screamed once more. "That prick. We had a deal, we were going to drop them _after"_

He picked the phone up and dialled a number, "Who are you calling?"

"The secret service… Call her…. Call Steve, now!"

Eli did as he was told, his hands shaking as he pressed the device against his ear. He felt his blood run cold when Steve didn't answer.

The man never missed his calls.

Eli could hear Peter screaming into the phone, vaguely, he saw people cross his path and move into the office as he sat on wobbly legs.

"I want Russia up and awake right now!" Peter yelled "That son of a bitch didn't even warn us!" his anger roared through the entire West Wing.

This was how it was, usually, when Peter was drowning under the pressure of his own weight, and he felt as though the whole world was ending along with his self-control. Eli had lived enough years with the man to see the change in him since inauguration, and regardless of his utmost respect for Peter, the man wouldn't be in his state of power without Alicia. This was the truth.

"When are the explosives being dropped Peter? Maybe we can negotiate.."

"No" an intern interjected, her hand shaking only slightly as she handed the iPad to the president. "They are dropping now. A whole village has been wiped out. A whole village"

Peter sat down in his chair, his eyes fastened on his desk and his breathing uneven. "There has to be some mistake" Eli muttered. "You knew about this?"

"He notified me late last night that he was planning an attack near Kabul, I tried to reason with him, he said that it was planned for next week, I didn't tell him that Alicia…" the few words left fell silent. "It didn't cross my mind that they would do it… early"

"You agreed to this?"

Peter's silence was his answer.

Eli stands up, buttoning his coat, he leaves the room.

* * *

There was screaming, and then there was yelling, and then an argument breaking out between three of her agents. She jumped once more at the sound of another _bang_ in the near distance, and looked over at Steve.

"We need to get underground now." His resolute tone hid somewhat of his fear, it never ceased to amaze her how calm he was. He pulled her into his firm grip, and ran as fast as he could. She struggled to keep up.

She didn't remember much afterward, nor did she remember feeling scared. What terrified her was that the sound of explosives were no longer foreign to her, she was used to the danger, to the sound of fires blazing in the wind and debris smashing through the window.

It all reminded her of that night in Syria, with Brad. That was her first real experience of danger, pure, unadulterated danger, one that would scare the military if they were here, which they weren't, because Peter had ordered them to move elsewhere a long time ago.

"Who is doing this?" she wondered aloud, her voice strong and clear as they raced downstairs.

"We don't know… but it's not us."

 _It's not us._

You mean to say it's not us that's killing hundreds of civilians this time? She thought, but repressed the desire to say it out loud. She wasn't afraid to admit aloud her disgust in the whole ideology of war. It was an ironic thought, considering she was currently trapped in one herself.

Still dressed in her pyjamas, she had managed to grab her emergency bag on the way down. The cellar was perfect for cover, which was probably why her agents chose this particular house. She changed into warm clothes, and moved around the area, the small window looked out into nothing but outgrown grass, another bang hit ground, and this time she jumped. Folding her arms, from her side vision she could see the agents formulating a plan to escape safely

She didn't bulge when she felt a tear scrape down her cheek. She didn't even blink.

* * *

He carried Macey through the quiet darkness of his home, her head nestled safely into the warmth of his neck after her long afternoon with Diane. They had gone to the zoo and apparently, Macey had run wild. It paid off.

"Daddy" she mumbled, "Sleepy"

"I know" he placed her on her bed, thankful that Diane had dressed her in pyjamas before he picked her up. He wrapped her blanket over her small form, sat down, and looked down at her. He felt a million and one candles light in his chest as he watched her chest expand and shrink, her nose wrinkle in the dim light, and her eyes twitch of sweet dreams. No matter what, he would always have her to come home to.

The chaste joy he felt each morning waking to her brown expressive eyes, and the delight he saw in her face each time she saw Alicia walk into a room, there was nothing that could stand better. Nothing.

He thought she was finally asleep when – "Leesh hurt" Macey murmured, her eyelids fluttering open as she starred up at her father.

He sighed, he thought she had finished thinking about Alicia for today. "No baby. She's fine. Licia working, remember?"

"Hmm" she mumbled quietly and rolled onto her stomach, clutching her stuffed rabbit, she rubbed her nose and fell back into sleep. He sat there for a few more minutes, repressing the need to just pick her up and take her into his bed. Watching her sleep was one of his favourite things to do, especially in the mornings, the sunlight flowering on her still baby skin. He shook his head, mentally telling himself a firm no, she needed to learn to sleep on her own.

She'd be sleeping, he decided when he put the phone back down. Alicia, he imagined her dark and all natural curls splayed against an ivory pillow as her body soaked up as much rest as possible, ready and waiting for another day of moving.

After he had made her come lose that evening, with only words to satisfy her hunger, she told him that she wouldn't have time to call him the next day, and he was looking forward to the gift that he would receive for spending so much time apart, for the inevitable hug he would give her, for the kiss, for a whole night of making love, for the new awakening of their passion, their relationship that was bound on the ties of a promise, a promise for the future, a promise of diamond rings, white dresses and sweet vows.

He still had to get the ring.

A message from Eli was waiting for him when he finished his shower, with a towel wrapped around his waist, he read the message apprehensively and why was it that he wasn't surprised that this was happening? _Again._ His teethed crushed in anger and impatience. Judging by Eli's absolute bluntness over the situation, he wasn't surprised either.

/

Her vision felt dense and clouded, she briefly wondered if this meant she needed glasses, if her eyesight had been severely damaged, or maybe it was just a dream?

She lifted her hand toward her head, it felt like warm water, warm _warm_ water. And the smell..

"Blood" she choked out.


	43. The Unhappy

A/N: TO my lovely and loyal readers, please accept my tearssss as an apology for this long delay in update. No words can justify it, except for thank you! xx

* * *

He'd lifted Macey off the ground with one arm as they reached the departure lounge. She hated flying. Planes just weren't her preferred sense of transport, but he wasn't going to drive ten hours to DC, and he wasn't going to leave her behind.

"Daddy" she murmured, her eyes scanning the terminal. He looked down at her just in time to catch her eyes move toward her small round tummy. "Hungry"

He pulled out a container of sliced mango from her bag, she ate as they carried each other to their seats inside the plane. She buckled herself into hers as he pushed their bags into the compartment above. She had slept for more than ten hours last night, his daughter, which was excellent, for he hadn't slept at all and he was silently praying that she wouldn't be over-energetic today. He was actually dreading the moment she would see Zahara, those two were like fuel with fire when they were together.

"Is she yours?" a woman's voice asked from behind him, he had just finished pulling his hoodie off when he caught her taking a long look at his defined chest.

"Yes" he smiled politely at her.

"Cute" she barely looked at Macey. "My son looks about the same age"

"They're a handful aren't they?"

"An understatement."

When they were in the air, Macey reached for his phone on instinct, he was trying very hard to keep her off technology as much as possible, averting her to books, even though she only just knew some of the alphabet, and trying to entertain her with board games and outdoors. She still wanted the games on his mobile.

"But..but" the three year old stammered.

He gave her one look, and shook his head. It was impossible to refuse her, he knew that, but today he was tired, and heavily drained, so she took whatever chances he gave her.

As they landed, Macey climbed on his back, her small arms tight around his shoulders as they walked to the carousel and claimed their bags. He spotted Steve's big shoulders in the distance, he looked like a fish out of water in the middle of a crowd of tourists. Will laughed as they neared, and shook his hand firmly.

"How is she?"

Will took a mental note of the way he paused as they got into the big black SUV, the way his brows creased tensely. "I believe she's seen better days."

DC was sunny and warm when they arrived to the white house, the monument of America, the place that she had referred to as home for three years. The last time he was here, he had met Zahara. He was one of the first people outside of the house to ever hold her. He remembered it as if it was just yesterday. Everything was so clear back then, so straight and plain. He had naively believed that he could actually move on from Alicia, with his child and Samantha, waiting to be a mother and be a wife.

He couldn't believe that he actually wanted that, that he thought _that_ was good for him.

Steve got one of the house staff to take him to Alicia, he followed her quietly, she asked him about his daughter, absorbed with her cute pigtails and pink cheeks. He was distracted when she opened a big white door, which led down a wide hallway, she pointed to the far left. "She should be in there, if not, check the library. If she's not with her daughter, she's always reading" she looked like someone Alicia would like, he thought as he watched her wink at Macey and then walk away.

As his foot moved into the doorway, Macey spotted her before he did. His daughter's cry of joy pierced the silence in the bright room. Will wasn't necessarily religious, but he did believe in _something_ since the birth of his daughter _,_ which was when he saw Alicia in this room, he wondered if this was what heaven looked like.

Not just because _she_ was here, but because the intense daylight breezing into the room made her look more pale than she already was. It would have been the perfect image, if it weren't for the white walls, white furniture and white floors. He felt blinded by the awkwardness of it, by the taste of disinfectant caught in his mouth.

She sat on the white sofa, a grey blanket warming her folded legs as she drunk the sight of them into her soul.

She wore a light grey sweater, her dark curls rested on her left shoulder. He watched as Macey jumped from his arms and made a beeline for that same shoulder. "Be careful with Leesh" he warned, wincing as she basically scrambled on top of her.

Alicia seemed to have no objection at all. She held Macey longer than usual, and then directed her to Zahara's room. Alicia couldn't take her eyes off her as she watched her small body run for her sister, once she was gone, Will sat down, his movements so light that she barely felt a dip in the cushion.

"Hey" she murmured. It wasn't awkward, their exchange, but it wasn't intimate either, like the one in his office. The air in her lungs felt stressed for the unknown energy in Will's stance, for the fact that she was unsure of what he wanted to do now that he was here. Run? Love? fight?

All three options were basically a tale of her life for the past four years, since Peter announced his candidacy, since Will confessed that he was in love with her, since she realised that there was more to life than just _Will,_ the _law_ and self-success, since Peter _literally_ tried to kill her just the other day…

Peter's already taken enough fight from her since she arrived home, she's not sure when the arguing is going to stop - if it ever did – but she just hopes that Will doesn't take Peter's side in this, that he doesn't force her to choose between her family and her job too.

"Are you okay?" Will asked

"Now I am"

"The kids are worried" Will said, not for the actual sentimentality of it, but for the fact that there's nothing else to say. Nothing that won't include yelling anyway.

"Grace called this morning, I told her I was fine."

"She wanted to come with us, but I told her to stay. You'll be back soon anyway."

It'll always fascinate her how he can talk so easily of her kids, like they're actually his, as if he's raised them himself. It's nothing short of overwhelming to see it, to think about it.

The fact is, her children have spent more time with him than they have with Peter and Alicia for the last four years.

"Who knows?"

"Carter.. Zach obviously… and Kalinda."

"Kalinda?"

"I had her hack into Pakistan's network after the lines in Afghanistan lost signal, I needed updates, and Eli wasn't giving me anything."

"You did what?" the inevitable shock and restlessness reminded him that he was supposed to tell her mildly. "She could… she could get arrested for that Will… how.. why…. What on earth.." she stammered.

"Relax. I made sure it was legal."

"Don't…. don't ask her to do that for you… ever."

He nodded his head, he wondered silently if he was actually intent on listening.

"You look well" he noticed

"Just a minor laceration on my forehead and a few cuts on my arm. Battle wounds" she smiled.

 _Battle wounds,_ is that how she was describing it? "I can't live like this anymore Alicia"

She reached out for his hand, brought it to her lips and kissed it, "I know… and I'm sorry."

She looked as though that was all she could say, _I'm sorry._ "Compromise" he whispered.

"What?"

He stood up on both feet and placed his hands in his pockets, the room was comfortable enough for him to feel free to walk around. "I think.. from the pace we are going, you and I may just get a divorce before we even get married" he tried to tease, though, his flat face told her that he didn't find this funny at all.

"Will.. please don't say that"

"What would you do if I was in your shoes? You live in constant threat, and you expect me to just go with it? You were almost accidently blown up.. I can't sleep.. I have these dreams of you getting taken and imprisoned, shot to death, blown up with our child.. Zahara could.."

"Stop"

As much as it softened her heart to know that Will thought of Zahara as his own, her heart squeezed at how wrong it felt of him to bring her into this. "Are you seriously questioning my parenting?"

"NO. I'm merely stating a fact. You put everyone around you in danger and all you can think about is the benefit it will have for the foundation. Do you ever stop to think about your own safety? Those men who sacrifice their time and energy to protect your life?"

"You don't know what goes on in my head" her eyes hissed at him.

"But I do" he sat down and took her hands from her lap. "I know you more than you know yourself. Please, help me here" with one drop, he could literally be on his knees begging her. "We deserve a life together. A healthy and stress free life"

His brown eyes were warmer than usual, with that tint of fear and love mixed together, she didn't know what to do, she didn't know what to say other than allow her mouth to part and a small tear escape her eye.

"Don't make me choose between you and my job Will. That's not fair, I would never do that to you"

"My job isn't a fucking ticking time bomb." He said resolutely.

Her entire face dropped and she gaped back, silenced under the unfamiliarity of his firm and frustrated tone. Looking at him, here, now, in her house, she realised once again that she hadn't kissed him in almost a week. She hated the realization, disgusted that they were caught in mess, _again._

"I'm sorry" he told her, shaking his head, he pulled away. "It's just that I feel as though you're slipping, and you don't want to be fought for anymore."

"You didn't kiss me when you got here" she murmured, her lashes resting against her white cheeks as she looked down. "Is that how it's going to be? After everything.."

He groaned, almost rolling his eyes, he stood up and took her lips in his. She barely had a chance to prepare herself for the firm and passionate interlocking of their love. His hand rested on her waist when she moved onto his lap, she was as light as a feather and so he didn't feel her move until he had to lift his chin to catch one last kiss.

"At least I know that hasn't changed" she whispered teasingly behind his ear.

His muscles were still tense from their small argument, his breathing didn't sound normal to her ears, it was like he was suffocating just to hold her. "I'll figure something out. Compromise" she told him. Although he didn't know what that entailed, he nodded gratefully and finally relaxed into her hold.

"I have something to tell you" he said, a smile finally gracing his lips.

"Yea?"

"The other day, a real estate company came to us for representation… and I think I found the house"

" _The_ house?" she raised her brows and tilted her head to the left, smirking so hard it took everything out of him not to kiss it away.

"Well, several houses, we have to choose the right one"

"Hmm" she hummed, "House searching. How very domesticated"

"We're like normal people"

"It's gonna be good."

"Yea" he breathed a sigh of relief. "It will be."

Hearing the nice tune of their daughter's talking in gibberish, she fell away from his lap and curled her legs up again. "Are you cold?" he asked as she pulled the blanket over herself.

"No.. just low blood pressure…" she smiled as she caught sight of the two girls run out of the bedroom. The moment Zahara spotted Will, her green eyes lit up and she raced forward, her small legs struggling to keep up.  
"How's my two girl's doing?"

"Have you had dinner yet?" she asked him, watching as Macey crawled off his hold and next to her side.

"Na ah" Macey told her firmly. "hungry"

"Will have dinner soon baby, were you good for daddy when I was gone?" Usually she would have nodded confidently, but her eyes darted toward her father who sighed loudly as he sat down with Zahara clutching onto him.

"She was pretty good, she just missed you a lot."

Alicia smiled as she pulled her into her arms. "I missed you so much, I want you all the time"

"We go home?" Macey emphasized the 'we' strongly, Alicia nodded in reassurance, despite her subconscious reminding her of her fight with Peter last night. He couldn't risk another call from another intelligence agency, he was already on scarce grounds and was on a lot of pressure to have his ex-wife resign from her advocacy in charity. Somehow, he thought that trapping her here would see her to giving it all up. She laughed at him.

They had homemade pizza for dinner, to which Zahara threw herself into a fit of tears as she didn't like hers, Alicia rolled her eyes and handed her over to Will. He was so much more patient and tolerant when it came to tantrums, he never once needed to raise his voice, although, those soft eyes of his were probably the main reason their child always stopped screaming.

"Zahara tired" Macey concluded, Alicia laughed as she took her hand. "We're just gonna go for a walk" she told Will, hoping that by the time they returned she would be tired too.

"Okay" he said.

By the time they had finally gotten away, the sun had set, and there was a stunning image across the south lawn.

She's been living here for 3 years, but it's the first time she's actually seen it.

They bump into Peter just outside his office, it's certainly not intentional because she's been hoping to avoid him. she didn't think it was appropriate for him to meet Macey, not under the current circumstances anyway. What was she to say? This is the little girl who's the cause of our separation.

"This is Zahara's daddy" she introduced the two of them, watching as Macey's brows clicked into place and a smile lifted the corners of her full lips.

"Zahara's daddy" Macey repeated.

"Yep! That's right, and you must be Macey. Zahara says your name more than ten times a day." He teased. He's so good with children, always has been, even with one that was fathered by a man he's despised half his life.

Macey doesn't know what he was saying, she doesn't fully understand yet, but her mind is so unbelievably smart for a three year old, that she catches onto him quickly.

"Zach and Grace" she said clearly.

"That's right baby, this is Zach and Gracie's dad too"

"She knows them?" Peter asked confused, until he remembered – "Of course, _the firm._ " He shook his head and gestured toward his office.

"Can we talk please?"

"Talk or yell?"

"Just talk. I think it's time we negotiate… Macey, I bet you haven't been in the oval office yet huh?"

Alicia smiled down at her, allowing her hands to thread through those perfect curls.

"You know Peter, it's her bedtime soon and…"

"It'll only take five minutes Alicia."

She sighed, and nodded her head. Macey's tiny hand refused to leave Alicia's as her eyes took in his office. She's never really cared for this space, Alicia, she'd always thought it was just a room, but seeing Macey take it all in was like seeing it all for the first time again.

They sat down on the couch, Macey settled comfortably on her lap, her hand covering Alicia's. Through some strange, maternal connection, Macey could sense her inner turmoil. It was the best kind of medicine to know that their connection wasn't just a myth.

"The doctor said you're doing fine"

"Yes, never know what a few minor cuts can do to me"

"It could've been a lot worse"

"Peter.." she swallowed and closed her eyes.

Macey's legs swing back and forth over her knees as she toys with a booklet.

"Sorry… So um.. the reason I called you in here, I talked to the head of the USSS and after careful consideration, they think it's best you don't fly for the next month."

"Fly anywhere?"

"Yes"

She looked down at Macey, just as her brown eyes lifted to meet hers. "Looks like I can't come home with you and daddy sweet girl"

"NO!" she cried loudly, hiding her face in the palm of her hands, she whimpered, with rushed hands, she tried to wipe her tears away, to look stronger than any other three year old in the world. Even though she looked as though she was about to throw a tantrum, she slipped from Alicia's hold. "But.. but you promised!"

"I know.. but it's not safe for me.."

"You never gon stay" she told her, rather sternly for a child whose cheeks were stained with tears. "You never gon stay. You lied"

"Mace..."

"I want daddy" she whimpered quietly..

Growing angry at the man who had caused all of this, she glared viciously at her ex-husband, throwing one of her own tantrums through cold eyes. "Peter, look what you're doing.."

"I can talk to domestic security, and the intelligence agency but…. Alicia you have to cooperate. You have to listen, when my agents tell you to do something, you do it, I'm tired of hearing complaints. My polling's are low since we announced the separation.." he looked down at Macey for the fifth time in the span of a few breaths, he was anxious to know that other ears were engaged among classified discussion, even though those ears were small and barely understood normal talk.

"The last thing I need is another misinterpretation of me in the press, do you know what the times are saying? They think I'm not doing enough to protect you!" he whispered in contempt, running a hand through his hair. She knew it wasn't true, that the times were financially struggling post email scandal, still, it wasn't a pleasant feeling to know that he was being slaughtered at the expense of her foolishness.

" _I will_ listen, and I will do whatever it is to get you in office again. Just tell me that I can go."

With something that resembled to a defeated sigh, he said "fine". His gaze pointedly avoiding that of Macey's teared ones.

It wasn't long before he was distracted with a call, and so she picked her daughter up and headed for their living space.

"I'm so sorry for making you cry baby" she told her

Macey patted her shoulder and fixed herself with a smile that Alicia saw closely to cunning. "I always get big people to listen when I cry"

She gaped slightly at the smaller version of Will, and laughed. "You had that planned all along didn't you?"

Macey just shrugged her tiny shoulders, not entirely understanding, and not entirely conscious. Alicia could see that her eyes were exhausted, pale below, but not enough to be concerned about. She rested her head against her chest and allowed her breathing to relax, Alicia was only contemplating whether or not they had enough time to change her into her pyjamas when she walked in on Will and Zahara spread against the couch. Her daughter had abundantly stolen her soul mate by this point, she could see it in his eyes, or the way he stroked her hair back as she slowly fell into unconsciousness.

"Well look at you two" Alicia fussed, "How romantic"

"Twenty minutes of full on weeping"

"She's not normally like this" Alicia breathed. "I don't know what's wrong with her"

"She's only tired" he defended her, like the good and easily persuaded father that he was.

/

They finally got to bed, this had been her room for six months now. Peter slept downstairs in the main residential area, leaving her and Zahara to keep the apartment above. She rolled on her stomach, the moonlight relaxed calmly on Will's skin and she savoured the sight. It still took her a long time to realize that this man was _hers_ to keep, that he was _here,_ really here. She stretched a hand out to touch his stubble, to make sure that he was real.

"Do you want to make love?" she asked him.

His eyes rested on the ceiling, turning to stare at her in the husk of twilight, his lips raised to a cautious smile and he reached out to stroke her lips with his thumb.

"Do you?"

She laughed quietly. "Always the gentlemen, you are"

He didn't laugh, but he smiled, which was something. His gaze returned to the ceiling, eyes denying an opportunity to sleep even though his obvious exhaustion said otherwise.

"We met here for the first time, almost thirty years" she remembered, so, so long ago, and if anyone had told her then that in a few decades she would be the first lady of America to Peter Florrick, with a blazing love affair with Will Gardner and his child, she would have laughed. She would have _really_ laughed.

"I know" he murmured, "You were so different back then" his eyes glistened with memories

"You were too"

"Yes, but I still have some of the same qualities, like the drive to win no matter what, or to practice selfishness before selflessness, but you. If it weren't for those crazy eyes, I probably wouldn't notice you if you walked past me on the street."

"I don't know whether to be flattered or offended" she said

"It's a good thing" he told her "You used to be so forgiving.. back then.. fragile.. I was always afraid I'd break you"

"So" she whispered "I'm hard now?"

He shook his head "No… just, more discriminating, more wise I think."

"Now, I really am offended" she teased.

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost that kind of… certainty in my life, lost your sensibleness or stubbornness. The thought of it makes me sick"

"Will…"

He finally closed the big space between them and pulled her by the waist, he pressed a gentle kiss to her warm forehead. "Let's just go to sleep okay?"

"We should talk about this"

His eyes swore his frustration and anger, but his love was stronger than that. She felt uncomfortable knowing that he was angry at her.

She told him. "I'd give everything in this world just to be normal.. to walk down the street, to randomly decide on going to Georgetown tomorrow, or to take the girls to the park. And to go overseas without being a walking threat to every city I visit. I'm sorry Will.. I really am, but you knew what the package was when it was given to you.. You can't just suddenly decide to be mad at me because one of them isn't fair anymore"

"Yes" he agreed "But I shouldn't have to worry about whether I'm going to see you again when you walk out the door."


End file.
